Yeri finished her schedule before night, she have so much stress today after what happened with Jihoon, she was going to tell Jungkook everything but she failed to find a suitable words and ended up said nothing to him when they talked on the phone earlier. Jay and Bona already left and now she’s alone again.

 

It’s nice that her mom left lots of food at her fridge so she doesn’t need to do anything but warming up some of it for dinner. Meal for one person is not much but she decide to prepare more, after last night, she always has hope that Jungkook will come here for food just like how it was when they were still together.

 

Yeri eat her dinner while clinging into a small hope for Jungkook to pay a visit, she understand very well that after all things happened, she can not act like her relationship with him is good again. Let alone for her who's already going through a hard times while receiving help and supports from people around her, the whole thing is still hurts, she can not imagine how Jungkook felt right now when he was ignored by others and left alone for years, not even her family is helping him when they’re the one who put him on such situation.

This is probably because of those dream, but Yeri can slowly understand how much Sooyoung means to him when he was a kid. It makes her feels guilty somehow.

 

She ended up eat so little, because eating your dinner alone while being stressed is not a really fun thing to do. She's cleaning up her left over food, when she heard a knock on her apartment's door. She knows that knock, it's Jungkook's.

 

She's rushing out to the door with a wide smile on her face, she doesn't want to looks too happy or thrilled so she choose to stop right in front of it, while calming herself. It takes her few seconds, before she’s finally opening it.

 

Jungkook is standing there, his right hand is holding his coat, he's staring at the floor, looking tired and probably mad or sad, she can not made up her mind.

And seeing that making Yeri lost her smile right away. Things aren't getting better for him. Totally different with what she’s feeling.

 

"Do you want to have a drink?"

 

He talks to her while showing her a huge bottle of wine with his left hand. She's responding it with a smile while letting him in to her living room.

 

It's really odd. They never did this before, for the past few months of their relationship, they always met each other in a sober condition, no alcohol involved.

She doesn't really like drinking. It's not healthy, and alcohol is never makes her happy, it makes her depressed.

And Jungkook never asked her to do it either, he rarely ask her to do things. It makes her realize, there are so much things she doesn't know about him, what he likes or what he hates.

Honestly speaking, she doesn't know him well despite having a strong feelings for him. They never really talked about themselves to each other that much.

 

"Do you want to eat first?"

 

Yeri is talking to him from her kitchen while bringing two glasses and staring at the food she made earlier.

 

"No, i already ate."

 

She's coming back to him, and she watched him turning off his phone, which is something he never did before, even when she beg him to do that on their vacation trip, he won't listen.

 

"Here."

 

Jungkook lift his face to Yeri and receive two glasses from her, he put it on the table next to him. Today was a really bad day for him, mostly because the whole Tron project and Lea’s resignation, the whole thing is really bothering him and the reason he came here was to makes sure if Yeri is actually worthy for him to act like this.

 

He can see that Yeri is being wary with the way he's behaving, she’s slightly looks uncomfortable and checking him out without saying anything, it's awkward for them to actually act like nothing was ruined on their relationship and pretending everything is fine.

 

"Why? You look at me weirdly."

 

He decide to ask her just in case she doesn't like the idea of spending time with him.

 

"That's because you are being weird."

 

She's the one who reach his bottle of wine and open it in one go, he's doing nothing but watching her closely.

 

"This looks expensive.."

 

She's mumbling while pouring the wine into her glass.

 

"It is expensive."

 

She's not saying anything but give him a smile after listening to that.

 

"I don't know why we are doing this, but..cheers."

 

He takes the glass from Yeri's hand and joining her for a toast, he drink it in one shot while Yeri is not.

 

Jungkook is weird, totally weird, he's already on his third glass and he kept pouring more wine to his glass, so different with Yeri who's trying to be moderate with the amount of wine she takes. Her eyes becoming nervous when Jungkook is holding his stomach and coughing.

 

"Why?"

 

She move her seat from a couch in front of him to a small chair next to him, she holds his back and caressing it lightly. She’s totally forgot  about his surgery, and his health problem.

 

"Nothing."

 

But Jungkook is holding her hands and telling her to stop worrying about him, his eyes are soft and she feels bad seeing him like this.

 

"Stop it."

 

She's taking away his glass when he's trying to drink his fourth or fifth glass. He drank a half of bottle by himself.

 

"I'm fine."

 

No, he's not. It was not hard to realized that Jungkook is going through something serious, it makes her feels worse to knowing it’s probably has something to do with what she did to him.

 

"Are you mad at me or something?"

 

"I'm mad at you all the time. You're ruining my life."

 

Yeri can see that Jungkook is slowly getting drunk and talking to her with a little bit honesty. He's leaning his head while closing his eyes and she knows what he said is not completely wrong. There's nothing she can do to fix the situation so, she's trying to makes herself feels better and less wronged. She had plan to talked about Jihoon and what was happened between them to Jungkook but right now seems not possible.

 

"I'm supposed to get mad at you, but the thing i'm doing right now is the complete opposite.."

 

She's staring at him when Jungkook started to talking to her, he's still closing his eyes, and put his arms on his forehead.

 

"What do you mean?"

 

She doesn't understand what he's saying so she pulls him closer to her, forced him to talk while looking right into her eyes.

 

"We're ruining each other's life, you are ruining me, i was totally crushed by you and your acts. But then i came here because i had a rough day and i want to see you. I'm like an idiot."

 

He's struggling, Yeri knows there is something more than just that for him. She can understand how much he despise himself for being so weak in front of love, his sister literally sold her life for that and now Jungkook has to be in that position too.

Just how Yeri hated herself for thinking that together with him is makes sense after all the mess happened.

 

"I'm not forcing you, i know our relationship can’t be brought back to how it used to be before we know about our past."

 

Jungkook is not doing anything, when Yeri is talking to him while sometimes drinking his left over wine. She's frustrated too just like him.

 

"I already saw what happened to my brother because of his relationship with your sister, and i don't want any part of it."

 

She gets up from her sit while walking away from the living room back into the kitchen to takes a bottle of mineral water from her fridge, and drink it quickly. Jungkook is following her even though his head feels heavy, he still can see Yeri and willing to talk about this with her.

 

"I'm not offering things like what your brother did to me and my sister. I don't want to give you empty promises, because i know how much it hurts for you, if i can’t fulfilled that."

 

Yeri rolling her eyes to him, and he knows she's annoyed with a subtle diss he did to Seokjin and his past behaviour.

 

"I'm also not like your sister. I won't do anything unlogic for you, i won't die for you. But looks what we did to each other. You hurts me, i almost died because of you, and i made the company you build on the verge of taken over by others."

 

"From where do you know about Sky take over?"

 

Jungkook can see that Yeri is becoming nervous with his question, she's avoiding his eyes and staring at the floor instead of him.

 

"I heard.."

 

"From where?'

 

"I don't know, i don't remember !"


Yeri is pushing him away and now sitting on a small chair at the dining room, she's not looking at him at all, she's just staring at the huge window on her left.

 

He takes a sit in front of her without saying anything, expecting her to talk about whatever she hides from him, but she's not doing it. She's becoming so quiet, so he's playing with her hands until she's back to focusing her attentions to him.

 

"I'm not expecting anything from you too. I know you hates me and my family, asking you to accept that fact will be just too greedy on my side."

 

"You know that's not the thing i want to hear from you."

 

Jungkook is letting go of Yeri's hand, and she knows what he meant. He's curious about the company take over topic she bring up, but there's no way she can talk about Jihoon right now.

He left her and Yeri just staying at the kitchen, feelings guilty, uncomfortable and a little bit scared that he’ll find out about it before she tells him.

 

"What are you doing? we still have few glasses to drink."

Jungkook is calling her over, back to the living room, pouring wine to their glass, and Yeri thinks it's better to get drunk so she won't be too stressed over the situation.

 

Yeri understand that she is the childish one and probably the only one who has this thought. But she does he have expectation from her relationship with Jungkook, she's being optimist with that, she’s thinking her relationship will get better if she can ask him to see dr. Yoo for a few times. And they’ll be happy again, stop hurting each other and making peace with their own past.
 

She was just told him that she doesn't care because she doesn't want to be the one who have expectation while Jungkook is too busy protecting himself from Yeri and his feelings for her. It’s not fair.

 

"I threw one bottle of wine like this when your father came to me."


Jungkook talks to her while chuckling as soon as she takes a sit next to him. He's definitely drunk if he can talk about her father with a smile.

 

"What a waste of money."


Yeri takes her glass from his hand and drink her wine slowly, it's been a while since she talks to her father. She never imagine she can talk about him with Jungkook like this.

 

"It was a gift."

 

Yeri stopping Jungkook from drink another glass while shaking her head.

 

"Lea would kill me if she know, i let you drink this much."


Yeri can see that Jungkook's expression becoming darker and a little bit sad after she said that.

 

"She won't."

 

He talks to her while finished his drink in one shot. Yeri is suspicious about it. He's reacting so different about her talks regarding Lea.

 

"I'll be worried too."


She takes the bottle and drink the rest of his wine until there's nothing left inside it. Her head is a little bit heavy after it, but she still manage to use her hands caressing Jungkook's face and told him to drink a bottle of water from earlier.

 

"Don't be."

 

Yeri close her eyes when Jungkook give her one gentle kiss while ruffling her hair before he's using her lap as a pillow and laying down at the couch. He close his eyes, and it's really obvious something is totally bothering him or making him sad. He never act like this before, even when her father come to him and making him angry, he didn't came home and get drunk to relieve his stress. When Yeri framed him in front of Tron executives, he doesn't looks this sad.

 

"Do you want to see something?"


She's whispering close to his ear, thinking maybe something could cheer him up.

 

"What?"

 

"Wait here."

 

Jungkook is waking up slowly, after Yeri told him to wait while she's running to her room. She's back really quick with a pair of familiar shoes on her hands.

 

Sooyoung's gift. It was still as good as the last time he saw it. He hates that shoes and the one who will receive it back then. But now, the only thing he felt after seeing it is a longing feeling for his sister.

 

"I was asking people at home to find it."


He takes the shoes when Yeri give it to him, he touched it while thinking about Sooyoung who was proud to be able to buy this particular shoes.

 

"I was so angry when she showed me this."

 

"I know, it was my dream, i understand what you felt, so here..i'm giving it back to you."

 

Yeri is so pretty, with her rosy cheeks and a smile, she's a little bit drunk so she talked to him slowly.

 

"Why are you keeping this? You hates her."


He ask her and Yeri start to have teary eyes because of it.

 

"It was the last thing my brother gave to me as a present. Even though i know it was from her, i just can't throwing it away."

 

Jungkook doesn't know what to say or how to respond to it, so he just give Yeri a hug and they spent the whole night talking about Seokjin and Sooyoung, what they did to them and how they saw them as a sibling and not as enemy.

 

***

 

It's been 3 hours since Yeri talking to Jungkook about everything she can tell about Seokjin. This is a little bit weird but the effect of alcohol making her talk too much. And Jungkook is also a good listener when she told him about her childhood.

 

"Aren't you going to go home? I want to sleep."


She's becoming too tired and she really needs sleep after waking up at dawn last night. Well, technically Jungkook lost so much more sleep than her yesterday, but his condition looks so much better than her.

 

"I'm staying."

 

"Why?"

 

"Do you think it's safe for me to drive right now? "

 

"You can ask Lea to pick you up. She'll be here in seconds."

 

Jungkook is becoming quiet so sudden, this is the second time he's reacting in such a weird way over Lea's name.

 

"She's not working for me anymore."

 

And Yeri finally find the answer, not just the reason to why he's reacting weird but all the reason to why he had a bad day, or why he's coming to her, and why he need alcohol to relieve his stress. She's always insecure about Lea in her relationship with Jungkook, and this thing is only another proof for how much she needs to get insecure about it.

 

"Did she fired?"


She's becoming a little bit rude with her words without she realized, but Jungkook is too drunk to notice it.

 

"Resigned."

 

"Why?"

 

Jungkook is letting out a heavy sigh and back to looking gloomy and stressed when she asked.

 

"She said she doesn't want to work with me anymore."

 

"Why?"

 

He's a little bit taken aback when the only respond Yeri gave to him is a question.

 

"She's mad at me. I never thought that Lea could do that."

 

He's right. Lea is just..what should Yeri say about her, she's Jungkook's biggest supporter, no matter how many times he asked her to do things, heavy job or the absurd one like stalking her back in the days Lea is always doing it without complains. She treat him really nice too, she care for him and always there to help him, she's in love with him. So it does surprising that she just left like that, if she's mad then the reason must be big.

 

"That was unexpected."

 

"It's not actually."

 

Jungkook's eyes are different when he talks about Lea, he doesn't want her gone. It's obvious.

 

"You can just ask her back, tell him you're sorry."

 

"I'll just hurt her even more that way."

 

Since the beginning of their relationship Yeri is always feels insecure about Lea, because she knows she likes Jungkook and she treat him better than her, and today she's even more scared when Jungkook acting like this. He has something for her too. Maybe because he's drunk, but she knows it's genuine.

 

"Why?"

 

"Lea..is like my sister. The way she's thinking and behaving, she's too kind and too nice. You know how people like me can do to people like her.."

 

Jungkook ended his words with a huge smile, before he choose to lay at the couch and closing his eyes. What he said is enough to makes Yeri feels nervous. She's a trash and Lea is an angel, what power she has to get compared with her in front of Jungkook's eyes.

 

She has tears on her eyes when she realized that maybe Lea is the answer for him, not dr. Yoo or her. It's making her scared, jealous, and insecure even more than before.

***

 

Yeri is not doing anything even after Jungkook is already sleeping for 15 minutes, she’s thinking about what if back then 15 years ago, when Sooyoung is gone she knew about him, she should looking for him and be friends with him if she's aware that he was hurting so much after Sooyoung's gone.
 

Back when she heard Jeon Sooyoung is dead, she never thought that her death will affecting someone's life, Jungkook's life, that bad. She thought the brother will just moving on with his life, going to school and play with his friends, receiving supports from people around him and that's it. She only realized that was wrong when Seokjin was gone too, his death makes her realized that losing someone you love the most is like a catastrophe. She can barely functioning as a human being. She was hurting all day. And since she's too busy taking care of her life she never thought about Sooyoung's brother ever again. She made a mistake.

 

Even after they finally met a decade later, Yeri doesn't think she give enough help for Jungkook, she's basically ruining his life because that's what she always do to people around her. While Lea, she helps him going through everything. What she did to him is incomparable to what Yeri did. He probably doesn't realized how big helps Lea is offering to him for times they spent together.

 

And the most important thing was Jungkook knew Lea likes him but he always said that it's not fair if people like her has a deal with people like him. It is also true that he's becoming a better person since Yeri came to his life, but then if he's changing into a decent person, then he has no reason to refuse Lea's help for him.

 

It's the one that scare Yeri the most because she knows, being with her only makes Jungkook even more hurt. She and her family failed him once, and he doesn't deserve another one.

 

 

---

---

 

"I'm sorry, he's gone."

 

 

Jungkook is standing outside an emergency room, a nurse is holding his shoulder and pat his back. He can't believe what he heard and what he just saw, his heart hurts so much, it's enough to makes him having a hard time to breath or move.

 

"We'll call your parents, you can wait with me."

The nurse holding his hands and dragging him outside the ER, bringing him to a crowded cafeteria and told him to sit in one of the corner.

 

"I'll be back in a minute."

 

He's holding his cold hands at top of the table and the next thing he knows, tears are already coming out from his eyes. Lots of it. He knows Seokjin is dead and he no longer has a brother. He's angry at himself, at everyone else, at the situation. He's afraid. He can't imagine life without Seokjin, he lost a friend, a brother, a protector, he lost everything.

 

"Do you want anything?"

 

The nurse from earlier is back, her face looks soft, and it's really shown that she feels bad for him. Jungkook choose to ignores it and running away from the cafeteria, he's running really fast while crying, he's bumping his shoulder to a few people but he doesn't care. This is a nightmare, why would he needs to die, why Jeon Sooyoung is so important for him? Why didn't he thinks about her?

 

"He just stopped when he finally saw a familiar figures in front of him. Mom and Dad, both of them are crying and totally surprised, they walk closer to him but he's avoiding them.

 

"This is your fault." He said it while crying and tossed Mrs. Kim hands on his shoulder.

 

"Where is he?" Mr. Kim is asking him with a deep and low voice. He totally looks lost.

 

"It doesn't matter. He is dead, he's running after that girl. You killed them!"

 

---

---

 

Jungkook is opening his eyes when he realized that all of his body is becoming tense and trembling as the dream ended. That was really bad, he wakes up with so much tears and a heavy breath, the whole thing was absurd, scary, and hurts.

 

All the emotions are still linger on his heart even after he forced his body to sit on the couch. He's covering his face and sweep his hair while taking of his ties because everything was so terrible it makes him suffocated. He can not really deal with all of this, Yeri was totally having a hard time at his dream, even more than him when he learn about Sooyoung and her death. She was tortured by guilty feelings and the way she deal with it was really horrible.

 

His eyes is start wandering around to find Yeri, he feels sorry for her, and a little bit scared to deal with this kind of emotions again. He's walking slowly, searching for her and knock on her room's door, he got no respond so he choose to find her inside her room and Yeri is here, she's sleeping already, alone, at the edge of her huge bed with dark surrounding, she looks so pitiful like this. Having a nightmare and waking up with this gloomy surrounding must be exhausting for her.

 

"Yeri-ya."

 

He's calling her name but she's not responding to it, he bring himself to gets up at her bed and laying down next to her, Yeri is still not moving so he's linking his arms on her and bring her closer to him. She finally realized his presence and opening her eyes slowly while turning her whole body to him and staring at him, she looks confused, and her eyes looks puffy. Tired.

 

 

Yeri's actually not sleeping since Jungkook calling her name, she know he's looking for her, she can't sleep and she cried for some times too, the thing about him and Lea is surprisingly bothering her and affecting her really bad. She’s trying hard to held her tears when Jungkook giving her a hug, she want to see him so she give up on ignoring him, and the thing she find right now is horrible, he looks extremely drained out, he's covered by sweat and his eyes are red. Even when her room is dark, she can see it clearly that Jungkook has been crying too, because his eyes are wet when she's trying to touch his cheeks.

Is it because of Lea again?

 

"What happened?"

 

Jungkook is not answering her question but giving her a hug instead, a tight one while caressing her back, Yeri is doing the same while resting her chin on his shoulder.

 

"I was going to wake you up and told you to sleep here, but you were not moving at all when i tried."

She give a pat on his back when Jungkook hugging her tighter than before.

 

"I'm sorry."

 

"Why?"

 

Yeri is letting go of him because this apology coming out of nowhere, it's confusing.

 

"Your brother was on my dream again."

 

Yeri is failed to hide her surprise expression when he told her that.

 

"It's not your fault. The dreams is out of our control."

 

"It's a hocus pocus."

 

"I told you so." Both of them are laughing while talking about it, but deep down inside their heart they're willing to do anything to make it stop.

 

Yeri seems to have something bothering her heart because she takes a deep breath and cupping his face while studying his expression carefully.

 

"What did he do? Why did you cried? what did i do on that dream?"


So many questions, Jungkook already feels sorry to her for experiencing those emotions at the first place,  telling her about it and force her to recall those memories is never his choice.

 

"Just something, you were playing with him. A good one, you were happy."

 

"Then why did you cry?"
 

Yeri was hurting so badly inside that dream, having and keeping the memories of her brother's death must be hard for her, she felt a horrible guilts to Seokjin, she blame herself for what happened, and what she did to her parents or her hatred to Sooyoung is nothing more but a way to punish herself.

 

"I was jealous, you got to live a luxurious life with so much toys and money.."

 

She doesn't believe him at all so he decide to buried his head on her shoulder.

 

"I need to wake up early tomorrow."


He said that in hope that Yeri don't push him even more regarding his dream.

 

"I know how hard it is to dealing with that dream, you don't need to hide it from me."

But Yeri is totally disliking the fact that he's avoiding the conversation about it. She turn her face from him, and back to her early position, laying down at the edge of her bed, staring at the wall.

 

Yeri expecting Jungkook to talk with her regarding his dream about Seokjin, because she did the same regarding her dream too. It was hard to understand everything alone and she’s willing to help.

 

"The dream..let's just say that it makes me want to love you more.. and hate you less."

 

Well, that was a really good thing, what he said it to her, but after tonight Yeri is not sure about him anymore.

 

 

 

---

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