*Youngjae’s POV*

The next few weeks were harder than I expected. Though he was here in the day it still felt weird not having Jaejoong around all the time. I had to wait until he came in the morning whenever I wanted to see him. It was especially hard when he left, and I had questions or just wanted someone to talk to. But I didn’t dare to tell him any of this.

Yoochun was nice and very funny and I really do appreciate his help, but I felt closer to Jaejoong and I worried about him.

I also felt distant from Daehyun.

I hardly saw him. When we did cross paths, he acted like I wasn’t there, he never even looked in my direction. Sometimes I peaked from the castle windows just to get a glimpse of him training. He hardly smiled or laughed anymore. His face was always stern, and his presence was much more intimidating. He was like an entirely different person.

It hurt.

It hurt knowing that he was mad at me. I know I was wrong and right at the same time.

It felt worse that I couldn’t do anything about it.

Prince Sunghak stopped paying any attention to me as well. He stopped glaring and insulting me. He too ignored my presence altogether.

And as for King Jung, he was nowhere to be seen.

I stayed in my room most of the time, afraid to face any of the Jung family, especially Daehyun. I guess I should’ve been happy that I no longer had to face King Jung’s or Sunghak’s harsh words…but it was lonely. I felt lonelier than before I left home.

“You’re freezing.” Kyungsoo said after taking my temperature. “I feel like I’m burning up.” I confessed, fanning myself with a paper fan. Yoseob looked concerned by this. “Where’s Sir Jaejoong?” He whimpered. It’d been two hours and the said man hadn’t shown up. “Take this.” Kyungsoo handed me a small cup of herbal tea.

“Jaejoong is not coming today.” Yoochun announced pushing through the bedroom door. The head servant had a strange habit of never knocking, but I didn’t mind. “What? Did something happen? Is he okay?” Yoseob questioned.

“He is in perfect health. I forced him to take the day off.” Yoochun answered. We all stared at him in confusion. “And the three of you should take a break too. All this stress and confinement is not going to help anything. I might not be a doctor, but I do know the importance of having a clear state of mind.” He began. “Especially for you Prince Youngjae. That’s why I’m sending you three out into the city. You all need the fresh air anyway.” Yoochun announced.

“But what about the outcasts?” Yoseob questioned.

“You’ll be fine. It won’t hurt to go a day without guards. And you two know how to defend yourselves, right? All servants and nurses are required to know self-defense anyway. Yoochun reminded Yoseob and Kyungsoo. The two nodded.

“Good. I’m sending you to my cousin’s clinic. Here’s the directions to the place and give her this note from me.” He said, handing Kyungsoo two folded pieces of paper. “And just knock yourselves out.” He handed Kyungsoo a bag of coins.

The three of us sat there in surprise. “Well, don’t just sit there, take your meds and get ready to go.” He said. “You’re not coming with us?” I asked. “No. I have to stay here unfortunately. I have a lot of work to do since Jaejoong isn’t here.” He said in annoyance. “But you all have fun. Don’t wear an of the palace attire so you don’t draw attention to yourselves. And be back before dark.” He instructed. He waved us good bye one last time before leaving the room.

I ate and took my medicine. Then Kyungsoo and Yoseob left my room so we can change. I still felt hot and somewhat nauseous. I carefully changed into loose, thin, comfortable clothing.

Kyungsoo and Yoseob waited for me outside my room, dressed in warm clothing. Together we walked down to the stables. Three horses were already prepared for us, however, Yoseob insisted that I ride with him, not wanting to risk anything. I agreed, having the energy to argue.

We rode in and through the city, following the directions Yoochun gave us. To my surprise it was bright outside, but it wasn’t hot. Though I felt hot I could still feel the cold breeze of the wind tickle against my skin.

It did feel nice being outside. It felt more open and less congested. My body felt more relaxed. People hung around the city dressed in warm clothing. I smiled, seeing comes people wearing the sweaters we made. “Maybe we should make more sweaters.” I said quietly. It’d become harder to speak due to how much I’d been coughing. “We can pick up more yarn on our way back.” Kyungsoo offered. I nodded, smiling a little. I couldn’t help but stare at the small children that ran around. Or the new families that scrambled to keep up with their toddlers. Could I really be able to take care of a child?

I never imagined that I’d live long enough to even consider the thought. I mean…I’ve played with some of the children back at home and helped take care of YeEun when she was little. But there was probably way more to it than that. My shoulders dropped, how can I think I can take care of a child if I can’t even take care of myself.

“Are you okay?” Yoseob asked, pulling me from my thoughts. I let out a soft smile and nodded. “I was just thinking.” I assured him. He was reluctant but nodded.

We arrived at the clinic fifteen minutes later. It was a long, wide, dark wooded structure, supported by bricks on the outer corners. We tied the two horses to the side and entered the building.

We were immediately greeted by a tall slende