‘Get out! We’re over!’

That was the last thing I ever heard of that noona before I saw my belongings flying towards me.

It was another day, another lonely night for me again, according to Baekhyun, who was probably having a good time living with his rich boyfriend. I never met him, actually… He just told me that he’s handsome and rich—coming from a famous company I spend the night to guess about. I can tell he really loved him judging how all of our conversations whenever we meet out were always about how his hair was always curly when he’s not working; how he and his pet puppy look alike; or how he is really submissive in —okay, I think that was enough.

Baekhyun and I, along with our Sehun, were actual hosts. We stopped from doing that kind of thing when I had the habit to date my costumers and the both of them follow me afterwards, and now I’m struggling to find a job and a place to live whereas Baekhyun was living his best life.

That guy always wanted to help in getting me a new place through his boyfriend, but I don’t want to be a burden, you know? I might be the reason why they’ll fight, if ever. And I don’t want that to happen.

About Sehun, you ask?

After quitting as a host, he decided to be a worker inside a pet café. He entered not because of his petting experience with Vivi (in which their relationship looked like husband and wife hating each other if you ask me), but because the owner was really enthralled by his beauty, (woop) big and energy. He was having a great time though, to say at least.

I don’t want to say it, but I’m the one who’s the saddest out of us three.

I stayed at Sehun’s place in a meantime to find myself as job, and then to pay him back along with renting a new place to live. Doing it in a short time as possible meant I have to find at least 3 decent-paying jobs, so I set out my foot to find that damn job that will make my life the best like I’m the bad .

I’m sorry, Kim Jongdae, but you didn’t pass the interview…

Wishing you all the luck, Mr. Kim…

I can only sit on the restaurant with pure disappointment in my face, seeing that the bowl of ramyeon in front of me cannot satisfy my hunger as what I really needed was a job. It’s been two weeks already, and all I could get from these emails was them wishing me good luck because I didn’t pass the standards.

Call me a bastard, but I did my best in order to make myself presentable: I wore the most formal clothes I’ve ever seen (Thanks Baekhyun); I practiced how to be proper during interview and I also tried to give the warmest smile! What do they want already! Angrily, I slurped the food in front of me, hoping it would help me release all the things I’ve been holding back in front of those people.

God, I wish there was a genie poofing out in front of me to give me a job.

‘Uhm, can you change the song?’

My eyes immediately moved when I heard some man’s voice. It was loud yet it sounded so soft that it caught my attention, landing my eyes to a man sitting alone on another table a bit far from where I was. The look on his face worried me a bit, and it looked like he was about to cry. But despite all of those, I still found beautiful.

Oh god, Kim Jongdae, are you really serious about that? I don’t know about it either, but my love life has been a mess for the past months. I’ve been switching from men to women in different ages in order to live and stay longer with them because I thought if I’ll do that, I’m gonna find that love that I’ve been dreaming before.

I wanted to laugh at that statement. Me? Finding the love that I’ve always dreamt of having? It’s impossible.

But then my eyes, for the first time, decided to look at the man longer than I thought I should. He was really beautiful—he could be mistaken as a girl if ever he tries to wear a wig, and I noticed that he looked like he was rich too. He really had those fancy clothes; that suit he wore reminded me of the suit I am wearing right now and—

Oh, he was starting to cry already.  The resemblance of Snow White and dropping crystal suddenly popped up in my head, and I'm not sure this was okay to me. I wanted to comfort this man and give him the hugs he needed but I can't —I don't know who this man was either, but the concern eats me up inside as he starts to eat like a tiny sad cat.

I did not go even if I finished my food as I tried to observe him. I wanted to know that he wouldn't break down if he finally finishes his food, but thank god, he did not. He was really gentle and quiet, and I don't think my heart can quite take it.

I'm very soft, aren't I?

Seeing that it was only an hour before the next interview I'm going, I took a deep breath and straightened my clothes as I walked, hoping to get some sort of self-reflecting. Judging from what I've seen and experienced a while ago, I realised that all the relationships I had shouldn't be called as they were, but instead a 'life support'. I've been depending all of my needs to my patrons when I was still hosting, and to the people who fancied me so much that they'll try to give everything they have to me—maybe I'm a bad person after all.

This is why sometimes, I hate being alone. Just being by myself makes me hate me even more.

‘Why do you think you qualify in this position?’ asked the good-looking HR guy as I sat on the chair, hoping he’d not notice that I was checking him out. He gave me a good moment to make me think before I answered, ‘I qualify for this position because I am an all-rounded, flexible person who strives in learning and improving more in order to provide the best service I can give.’

Our maknae said it was surprising for them to see me work as an office clerk, which I defended by saying that I wanted to try some new things on the way. What I said was true, but all I wanted to have a boring life in order to keep myself away from what I had before. But from what I heard, being an office worker in the happiest times of a company meant countless parties, so I’ve been praying my best that this company should be the boring-est of all.

I crossed my fingers, hoping that I’d be accepted in order to get myself out of this mess called life. Moving out from the HR department, I breathed in a sigh of relief; the constant nervousness I had in me was wrecking me up, making me almost up the interview. While walking out, I took time to admire the building. It was really pretty, and from what I researched, the company here is just a Korean branch, and it’s original company was from Beijing. The beauty of China was already vivid, even though there are some Korean stuff that had been placed along with them.

I prayed that my company would be boring-est of all, but why does it feel like it wouldn’t be like this.

Calm down, Jongdae. Calm down. You don’t even know if you’re gonna pass their interview, right?

I was admiring all the beauty and honor of this whole establishment when I saw something more beautiful like a white cherry blossom. My eyes were fixed on a certain man entering towards the ID-pass-or-something that I don’t know about, and before I could close my mouth in awe, I realised he was the same man I saw a while ago. He still had the same sad face that I actually  became concerned and went to the receptionist to ask. ‘Uhm, can I ask you something?’

‘Yes, sir. What is it?’ She gave me a warm, welcoming smile that I was uhm, taken back. ‘Who’s that man wearing a beige beanie?’

‘Oh, his name is Minseok, sir. The baby ahjussi.’ I almost laughed when I heard the word baby—like it’s true, look at how his cheeks were squishing when he was chewing his food and how his skin reminds me of a smiling baby—but then I widened my eyes when the word ahjussi came in next, making me stutter in disbelief. ‘Ah…Ahjussi?’

‘Yes sir,’ She replied with the same smile. ‘He’s already 34.’

Wow, I thought at that moment while looking at him waiting on the elevator with some people, making him look like a child. I can’t believe I laid my eyes on such man.