There was definitely something different in the air that night.

It made him feel especially invincible. Like he could do whatever the hell he wanted to and no one could ever stop him. Then again that was how he lived every day of his life...

If only he could rid of this damn hangover.

Jinki lit up his cigarette and watched Kibum through the store window. The younger man was busy chatting it up with two lowly-looking store clerks who were giving him all the time and attention in the world. It was almost closing time and there were no other people on the streets on this workday Tuesday. Halfway through the stick, the older man sees Kibum throw his head back in laughter and flip the hair of his cheap store-bought wig. That was the signal. Jinki flicks his cigarette onto the ground and calmly enters the store.

The bell dings as he walks in and looks around carefully. Kibum had the store clerks wrapped around his fingers so well that they didn’t even greet Jinki as he walked in.

Perfect.

The store was deserted and Kibum had already flirted his way into getting the clerks to adjusting all the security cameras away from the items they wanted. Apparently, the lure of getting it on and catching it on tape was effective—not that Kibum was ever going to do it.

Stupid boys.

Jinki slips towards their targeted items and pretends to look them over, as he rips off the security tags quietly and with precision. From the way that he moved, anyone would know in an instant that this is definitely not the first time he’d done something like this. But no one would ever see him. He was just that good.

Not long after he had started, he had dozens of cell phones and other devices in his small messenger bag. Contented with his loot, he takes a lollipop out of his pocket, throws the wrapper on the floor and pops the entire thing in his mouth. Jinki walks out of the store, passing by Kibum who was doing a hell of a job distracting the two young store clerks. His partner was up on the counter, playing with the collar of the taller clerk, making him laugh nervously. Kibum was right; they probably were completely inexperienced nerds. The younger man watches through the store window as Jinki disappears down the street. The lollipop in his mouth meant that his job was done and that Kibum could end his as well. He smooths down his blonde wig with his hand and winks at the two boys.

“I changed my mind. You could never give me what I need. Maybe next time.”

He slides off the counter and swings his hips as he sashays out the door.

*****

He felt nauseous.

Maybe it was the stench of gasoline that had squirted on his pant leg. Or maybe it was the strong iron scent from the blood on his shirt. This was one of the most stressful jobs that he had responded to in a long time, and he just needed a bit of time to recover.

Knock, knock, knock.

“Hey, man. Are you alright in there?”

His team always looked out for each other. He, Minho and Jonghyun have been doing this together for close to two years and they’ve developed a steady rhythm by now. They also knew what kind of jobs would be triggers for one another. Unfortunately, tonight, they had to face Taemin’s trigger.

The young man opens the faucet to try to wash off some of the blood stains from his hands. He had been the one to apply pressure to her open wound, preventing her from bleeding out onto the pavement. It probably saved her life.

“Yeah. I just need a minute.” He knew it was useless. What he really needed was a shower.

A mother and her child.

He had to help pull out a mother and her child from an awful car wreck and bring them to the nearest hospital. Not even five minutes had passed before they had brought the two to safety, and he already felt nauseous. It was a lot more than he was prepared for that night.

He remembers the very reason why he had dedicated his life to becoming a paramedic. That horrible night with his mother came crashing down on him again like a ton of bricks and he found himself sobbing like a child on the floor of that dirty hospital bathroom. He hated that he couldn’t go back in time to save her. It’s been so long, but he missed her. He missed her so much.

Knock, knock, knock.

“Are you sure you’re okay, man?”

“Leave me alone, Minho.”

The older man reluctantly walks away from the door, but not wandering far off. He knew that this job would get to Taemin. His cries were coming in clearly through the cracks of the door, and Minho’s heart broke for his friend. No. He wouldn’t leave him like this. He didn’t want him to be alone.

*****

Jinki headed straight to the drop-off after the job. There was a man who took the devices off their hands for large sums of money. They would never meet at the same place twice, just to be safe. Tonight, the meeting place is some obscure, small restaurant in the middle of town.

He freezes as he sees a man in uniform already in the store. He was alone and was definitely off-duty. Still, it made Jinki’s skin crawl. He sees his contact wave at him from one of the tables.

“Relax, kid. He’s just a first-aid responder,” the old man says. “What do you have for me today?”

“We got lucky. I have a couple of iPad minis, four iPhones and a bunch of androids. Never used,” Jinki says, handing the bag to the burly man.

“Holy hell. You had one busy night, didn’t you?”

“Nah, it was one job.”

“You’re talented, kid, I’ll tell you that.” He takes something out of his pants pocket and hands it over to Jinki. “There’s a couple of extra bills in there… You know, as an incentive. I hope you won’t want to do business with anyone else.”

“Right, ahjussi. I won’t. Thanks,” he says.

“I’m off. Nice to see you again, Onew. Let me know if you got any more stuff. And look... If you're interested in something that pays this well consistently, tell me. This is kid stuff. You can do more. ” His contact leaves and Jinki tries to peak at the contents of the envelope, a huge smile appearing on his face. He had never made this much money before. He couldn't wait to show Kibum. 

The next thing he knew, a sweet old lady comes up and gives him a menu. He hadn’t really planned on eating alone, but it was pretty hard to say no. He needed to get something for Kibum. God knows the guy always starving.

“Can I order to go?”

“Of course you can, sweetheart,” she says. 

Jinki looks down and marvels at all the food listed. “Wow,” he says politely. “This is a pretty long menu. It’s hard to decide.”

“The fish.”

A voice comes from the other end of the room. He turns to look and Jinki is surprised to see that it was the uniformed man who was butting into their conversation.

“The fish here is always the best. Fresh. That’s what I always order here with my Appa,” he says with a sweet smile on his face—the sweetest smile that he had ever seen in his life.

“Taemin-ah, always helping me with the customers…”

“Your food deserves more recognition, halmeoni.” The young man turns his attention to Jinki, who was grasping the menu for dear life. He hadn’t had this much human interaction in a long time. “I’m Taemin. What’s your name?”

Taemin…

It was the first time in his life that he felt that his tongue refused to function. Now that he had the chance to really look at him, he was astonished that he could be old enough to don that uniform. He didn't look a day over nineteen. His skin was immaculate, and his blinking eyes were adorable... But the thing that made Jinki's heart race was his lips. He had never seen more plump lips in his life. It mesmerized him as the young man talked, pouting at certain syllables. There was something there that he couldn't quite put his finger on. It was more than just simple attraction. Something in him wanted to get to know Taemin better--and it was stronger than anything he had ever felt in his entire life. It was a new sensation, to feel this way about someone he had never met before. 

The young man's eyes widened as he waited for Jinki's response.

“O-Onew. You can call me Onew,” he managed to croak out.

"Onew. You're hard to forget," he says, his kind eyes piercing a hole to Jinki's heart.

"Excuse me?"

"It's just... Your name...  And you're blonde. I'm sure I'll always remember you," Taemin says.

Jinki was used to disappearing into the shadows. In fact, being inconspicuous was a big part of his job. For the first time, someone has actually seen him--even right now when he didn't have his walls up.

“Well, Onew, today’s your lucky day. Mrs. Jung is the best kept secret in Seoul. Really, you should try the fish.” 

Maybe it really is my lucky day.

“O-Okay…" Jinki then turns to Mrs. Jung, who had he had almost forgotten was even there. "Two orders of the salmon, please… To go.”

"Good choice, dear," she says, returning to the counter to relay his order to the kitchen.

“Great! That's the same thing I got," Taemin says, lifting up the brown paper bag that was just brought to him. "You won’t regret it.”

Somehow Jinki got the feeling that he really wouldn't.

*****

“Appa?” Taemin closed the door behind him and ventured into his childhood home. The darkness was always a force in that house. Since that horrible night, it was like all the light had been out of the surroundings. It was really a miracle that he had survived having to live in it until he was eighteen.

“Appa, I brought you some dinner,” he says into the void. As usual, there was no answer.

He knew where he would find his father. He would be where he always was: sitting in the dark on the living room couch, with only the blue glow from the television to keep him company. Tonight, like every other night, there was a bottle of beer in his hand.

The house was old and dingy. Nothing was ever fixed and it was almost like you could smell the dust that had covered every surface in a thin layer. All the furniture was a mismatched sea of grey, black and brown, and there were piles of laundry, both fresh and soiled, scattered all over the place. If you had seen it in person, you would have guessed that a sad, old man was living there. And you’d have been right.

“Appa. I brought you dinner.” Taemin repeated himself, as always. His father was never good at hearing him the first time.

“Taemin…” his father said, sitting up a bit. “What are you doing here? I didn’t hear you come in. You should have called.”

“Don’t worry about it. I just wanted to see you. Here.” He lifts up a bag of sensible food for a man his age—a salmon dinner with a huge helping of vegetables.

“I ate.” The old man never takes his eyes of the television.

Taemin looks around the room to find a half-eaten tray of those microwavable frozen dinners.

“Appa, you have to stop eating these things,” Taemin says, clearing out the tray and bringing it into the kitchen. “You’re not getting any younger. You should be taking care of your health.” He takes a clean plate and lays out the food he brought. Taemin takes it back outside with a tall glass of water to wash it all down with.

“What the hell for?” His father takes a swig of beer, not even casting his eyes on the food.

“For me. Do it for me,” he says.

His father looked like he had been drenched with a bucket of cold water. Of course he needed to be around for Taemin. The boy had no one else. He pats the space next to him and Taemin sits beside him.

“What about you, have you eaten?” he says, taking the fork and inspecting the food.

“I’m not that hungry,” Taemin says with a sigh.

“Rough day at work, huh? It’s good that I filled up on that junk. We can share. It looks good, son. Like how your Eomma used to make,” A warm smile comes over his face, trying to coax out the appetite for his son.

“Appa, I miss her too.”

*****

Kibum eyes grow wider as he counts each of the many 50,000 Won bills in his hands—the fruits of their labor. Pretty lucrative for a couple of college drop-outs.

“Buy yourself something pretty,” Jinki says.

“Jinki, are you finally flirting with me?”

“No. I just know that you get whiny when you don’t get to go shopping and I don’t want to have to deal with you like that.”

“You sure know how to make me swoon,” Kibum says sarcastically.

The remnants of his disguise are at the opposite end of the table and Kibum scrunches his nose looking at them. “I should probably get an upgrade.”

“Waste of money. Just stick with what you have.”

“Easy for you to say, you don’t ever have to wear a costume.”

“That’s because you’re great at your job. No one ever looks at me long enough to describe me accurately. No one ever sees me,” Jinki says. He instantaneously remembers the Taemin from the restaurant. Someone did see him. Maybe Jinki had to rethink that last statement. “Buy something else with your money, Kibum... Something you actually like.”

The younger man gets up out of couch and walks over to Jinki with a different look in his eye. “Hey... All this cash is making me want to do things, you know?” he says, as he runs his hand over Jinki's bicep.

“Not tonight, Kibum," the older man says, turning away.

“You’re not in the mood? You’re always in the mood, Jinki. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing… I just want to rest.”

“Fine. It’s your loss,” Kibum says, turning his attention back to counting and re-counting the money.

The truth was, there was no way that he could let anyone touch him right now. He would never admit it out loud, but he couldn’t get that guy out of his mind. There had to be some way that he could see Taemin again. Jinki opens the door of the refrigerator and reaches for the last bottle of beer.

"What's this?" Kibum asks, holding up the bag Jinki had brought back with him.

"Fish. It got great recommendations. Try it," he says, as he pops the cap off with the of his lighter.

The younger man doesn't waste time and digs into their dinner for the night. "Don't you want some?" 

"No..." he says, with a wistful look in his eye. "I think I want something else."