lisa was woken up from her deep slumber with the sound of her alarm sending annoyance throughout the roots of her body. she then, quickly rummaged through her bed to find her phone in an attempt of hitting the snooze button. she succeeded in finding the device in the pile of clothes just beside the space she slept on. she groaned when she saw that it was already 10 am.

 

she got up and took a glance at her bed. it was a queen size bed but for her, it seemed like it was just a simple one-person bed since a pile of dumped clothes took up majority of the space, there were also empty beer cans on the bedside cabinet. the only thing that seemed to be clean and in order is the picture hanging on the wall of her bedroom. she sighed, as she went on doing her morning routine thinking about her.

 

after finishing to get herself ready, she went out of her room to see her bestfriend cooking. a weak smile was plastered on her face when she saw what the girl was cooking, kimchie fried rice . nevertheless, she shook it off and greeted her bestfriend

 

"chaeyoung-ah! what are you doing here?" lisa said trying to sound cheerful

 

"i came here to see you. i knocked for a good twenty minutes but you were not answering so i figured, that i would just barge in" rosé replied, not looking at lisa. she was busy cooking up the meat

 

"it's alright. how are you?" lisa casually replied. again, trying to get a certain brunette out of her mind. she used to barge in here too, she thought

 

"i am doing well. how about you?" chaeyoung said carefully while she looked up to meet lisa's eyes.

 

lisa avoided chaeyoung's gaze. she hated it. she hated being reminded of the things that hurt her. but this was chaeyoung, her bestfriend, and they promised to not keep secrets to each other. so with one loud sigh she uttered the words that always send floods to come out of her eyes

 

"she l-left" her eyes watering. she bit her lips to stop herself from crying. 

 

chaeyoung knew that. everyone knew about that. it has been a year since jennie left

 

but to lisa, it always feel like it was yesterday. but the thing is, she doesn't exactly remember what happened.

 

 

jennie left her... that's the only thing her mind says

 

[throwback - the end of the beginning]

 

lisa and jennie were at the park just hours before midnight. they planned on spending their second anniversary in the place where their love story started;

 

the park where jennie first saw lisa. the park where they shared a lot of firsts: their first date, their first kiss, their first everything for that matter.

 

"babe, let's go buy some cotton candy first before we go to the park" jennie said, with pleading eyes

 

lisa saw this and quickly looked away. she knew she wouldn't resist those brown orbs.

 

"no babe, we already have plenty of food here in our basket. we're only gonna be there for hours it's not like we're gonna live there" she said, looking at her watch. 

 

it was already 11:45pm. lisa had planned to surprise jennie a small firework show. she knows how much jennie loves to see the night sky be filled with different colors

 

"but i want to eat cotton candy. baby please?" jennie said with a baby voice while poking lisa's shoulder to make the older one look at her. 

 

lisa mentally cursed herself for looking at jennie. she knew that she couldn't resist her girlfriend so she nodded. she can't help but smile hearing her child-like girlfriend utter a very loud "yey!"

 

"babe hurry up, we need to be there at twelve" she tugged her girlfriend by the arm. it was already 11:58pm, two minutes before the fireworks to be lit up.

 

they were already crossing the street to get back to the park.

 

"hold up! my cotton candy will fall, and we don't really need to be there at exactly 12. we'll have plenty of time babe, chill" jennie said. not knowing about the surprise. her eyes fixated in the heavenly-looking cotton candy

 

lisa didn't hear what jennie said, she was too caught in her surprise that's starting very very soon. she started walking fast, accidentally leaving jennie behind.

 

11:59pm it was too late. 

 

she reached the other side of the road and look back to see her girlfriend wasn't there. 

 

12:00 am. 

 

a couple of bright lights were now starting to fill the dark sky. making a boom sound as it light different colors.

 

but that didn't get lisa's attention. it was the loud bang of two cars crashing behind her.

 

the only thing she can hear was the loud beating of her heart. people gasping and running towards the cars.

 

a crowd were forming around. her girlfriend was nowhere near her.

 

she looked for her girlfriend, she sneaked inside the crowd

 

the fireworks still playing. 'jennie has to see the fireworks' she kept on repeating to herself

 

'jennie, where are you?' she shouted. 

 

no answer

 

she closed her eyes still trying to squeeze in the crowd and when she reached the space where the crowd was forming.

 

she saw jennie. lying unconscious with blood in her head

 

"l-lisa" she managed to utter

 

"jennie" lisa cried

 

"please don't leave me"

 

"SOMEBODY HELP!"

 

"babe please"

 

"fi-fireworks" jennie struggled

 

"yes, it was for you love" lisa said in between sobs.

 

"i-i love youu li-lis lisa" jennie said almost of breath

 

"NO NO NO NO JENNIE NO!" lisa welp. her eyes blurry because of her tears

 

GOD PLEASE NOT JENNIE. NOT NOW LET IT BE ME

 

jennie was silent. she was only looking at lisa. she couldn't bring herself to speak. everything was too painful. she knew she's gonna reach her end soon. 

 

the medics were now here. trying to check the pulses of the drivers and her but she could only focus on lisa. 

 

she knew she needed to say something before she goes.

 

"ha-happy an-anni-versary my lalisa" and with that she slowly closed her eyes remembering lisa's feature.

 

i'll watch you in heaven, my love.

[end of throwback]

 

chaeyoung can't help but be sorry for her bestfriend.

 

if only she knew about jennie's passing...

 

if only her bestfriend's memories will come back. after the incident, lisa suffered from post-traumatic mind syndrome where she forgot about the day when jennie died. her mind excuses for jennie's absence. hence, making it seem like jennie broke up with her and left her

 

"she's coming back right? she didn't leave for me good? right chaeyoung?" lisa uttered each word with hopeful sobs 

 

- end.