If there was one reason to visit the children’s ward at Seoul National University Hospital, it was for Doctor Hwang.

All those who walked through the department doors left with smiles on their faces and appreciation for the resident doctor. Children who would fear getting treatment would soon be giggling and willing, parents were instantly at ease knowing their child was in capable hands, and the nurses all came to work ready for another day assisting the gifted doctor.

It didn’t help that he was handsome, often mothers soon forgetting their significant other, fawning over the young doctor with lots of arm touches and laughter. And of course, Doctor Hwang took this all in his side, patiently thwarting off their attention with his genuine mannerisms, able to placate the mother and attend to the child all in one go. The amount of arranged blind dates he had received with relatives or older daughters were in the hundreds now from the past two years of working in the ward and they never slowed down either.

It was because Doctor Hwang was such a perfect example of a good human. He was kind and gentle, treated everyone equally and went the extra mile to help anyone he could.

It was why it came as a surprise to you to hear him let out a string of expletives and bang on the wall in frustration one morning, the doctor not aware that you were in the medical supply closet counting the syringe inventory around the corner. Your eyes went wide and you peered around to see who it was, Doctor Hwang staring down at his phone with tears building within his dark eyes. Deciding to give him his privacy, you shrunk back, trying to keep yourself from being nosy.

And then you accidentally dropped the clipboard you were writing numbers for the stock take down on, gasping inaudibly at your disruption. You didn’t dare look to see his reaction, and soon you heard the door open and close, being left alone reeling over what had just occurred.

It made it harder to look at Doctor Hwang from that day onwards, his smiling face and genuine behaviour always slightly tarnished by that incident. Although you knew everyone had their down days, for some reason you had this foolish idea that Doctor Hwang was immune to this. Even after asking the other nurses who had been there longer than you, they all mentioned they had never seen him have a bad moment ever. It confused you, and intrigued you to try to understand him more. This was made easier when a fellow nurse Seora went off on maternity leave, putting you in her place as his assisting nurse for most of your shifts.

You began to build a team rapport that you rated second to none, both understanding what was needed from each other efficiently, whilst maintaining a calm and fun environment for the kids. Doctor Hwang would rely on you to keep him up to date on his patients when he wasn’t in the department and appreciated the level of proficiency you kept to in every file. Although you were stationed within the ward, and not the surgical team, you were gaining experience there because he often called you in as a scrub nurse, saying little things like ‘he couldn’t do a good job without you there’. It was nonsense of course; he was the main star within that environment. It made you feel special all the same and slowly as the weeks passed by, you started to forget about that day in the supply room, just enjoying how fulfilled you felt at the end of each shift, clocking out with a smile. Soon, you were on a first name based level, Minhyun often coming to eat dinner in the staff room with you if you both had time to eat and a couple of times he had even given you a lift home. It was comfortable working alongside him and you were often grateful towards him for the growth in your knowledge as a nurse within the hospital.

 

 

“Hello Seojun, how are you today?”

The small boy dropped his book and grinned up at your arrival, his eyes glued to the doctor at your side. “Doctor Hwang!”

“Can we check you over by chance?” Minhyun asked and the boy’s head nodded immediately, the smile not leaving his face.

Minhyun gave you a nod and you moved forward with your equipment, checking the seven year old’s stats and recited them off to the doctor. He nodded and tapped at his tablet, reading over the notes you knew he had already been checking through on the way to start his rounds. You smiled and waited to see what his next instruction was.

“Okay Seojunnie, can I listen to your chest?” Minhyun placed on his stethoscope and examined the child, sighing a little, but maintaining his warm composure. He then turned to you, his eyes a little serious. “His bronchial tubes are still not functioning effectively, even with the use of oxygen. We need to get another chest scan done. Do you know where his mother is today?”

“She comes in at eleven.”

“We’ll need to meet with her when she’s in to discuss the findings of the scan.” He then pulled out his phone and rung through to book it in, a habit of his to ensure what he asked for was completed before he left any patient.

Whilst he did so you turned to the child, gently ruffling his hair. “We’re going to go on a small trip out soon okay?”

“Will it be scary?”

“Of course not!” you reassured, smiling down at Seojun. “Would I ever take you anywhere bad?”

Seojun grinned and reached over to hug you, Minhyun turning to see the embrace. He smiled and nodded at you to follow him and after saying your goodbyes, you moved into the next room and onto the next patient. But you could tell he wasn’t as attentive as usual, his brows constantly knitting together and becoming perplexed every time he wasn’t examining a patient.

“Are you okay?” you asked and Minhyun flinched at your voice entering his thoughts, glancing down at you and then letting out a sigh.

“I’m concerned about Seojun. It’s not looking good right now. If he comes down with bronchial pneumonia-”

“We won’t let it get to that stage,” you cut in, placing a hand tentatively on his lower arm, the taller man staring at your hand and then at you. You tried to smile encouragingly. “We’ll find a way to help him, okay?”

He sighed and diverted his eyes. “Why is it always you seeing me at my worst?”

You frowned as he walked away from you then, wondering what he meant.

 

 

Time travelled, Seojun recovered and was discharged, and there were always new cases that brought your team challenges along the way. Most of the time you were successful in healing the children but there was always one or two that made an impact, who pulled at your heartstrings and then departed too soon. Those were the hardest moments and as you dropped the phone, your eyes filled with tears, unable to comprehend the sentence your charge nurse had just said to you.

Just yesterday, Yoomi was smiling and laughing with you as you checked over her vitals, telling you how she wanted to grow up and be a nurse, just like you.

You didn’t want to believe otherwise and as the tears slipped down your cheeks in grief, you attempted to think of a way to bring her back, to keep her dream alive.

And then one person came to mind.

You rushed out of the ward you were in and to the doctors’ offices, banging once on the door and then opened it up. Minhyun was nowhere to be seen and his mobile was uncharacteristically left on his desk. He carried that around like a life support and you knew he couldn’t be far, turning on your heel and trying to think of where to find him. You tried a couple of places before opening the stairwell door and rocked back on your feet, finding the doctor in a crumpled mess on the stairs.

You hadn’t been aware that you were still crying until you dropped down beside him, Minhyun snapping his head up to see who it was, before grabbing your hand and burying his head into your shoulder.

He wasn’t crying as much as you but he was shaking with his emotions, his grip on your hand cascading in waves, sometimes tighter, and other moments you wondered if he had let go. He was the most vulnerable you had ever seen him and if you weren’t already caught up in your own emotions over the loss of Yoomi, you would have been shocked to see the man so unhinged.

He had never been like this in front of you before.

After some time, the tears stopped and a comfortable silence fell between you both. Minhyun had lifted his head from your shoulder but his hand still encased yours, his thumb mindlessly rubbing gentle circles over it.

“We should get back,” you said tiredly, knowing that you both couldn’t just sit in the stairwell all day, even though you had no energy to move.

“Y/N,” he started and you glanced over at the doctor, his eyes not lifting from his lap where your hand rested. “It was you who saw me that day.”

“Uh, mm.”

“Do you know why I asked for you to replace Seora?” You shook your head. Minhyun finally glanced at you and smiled. “Because you were the first to see me like this. Everyone else is so determined to view me as this majestic doctor who merely looks at a child and it’s healed. No one took the time to see how hard I work, assuming my talent would get me out of any tricky situation. And whilst I never see myself as fake, I felt bound to that role, the happy doctor. Humans aren’t always happy.”

He took a moment to steady his emotions again and let out a hollow laugh. “You saw me crack and didn’t make a big deal about keeping me to that same mold. I noticed your stares trying to uncover the real me.”

“I didn’t mean to offend you,” you mentioned embarrassedly and Minhyun shook his head.

“I’m glad you did that. I’m glad you’ve been at my side for all these months assisting me. We have a good work ethic together through the good and bad.” He smiled, looking back at your hand, his circling motion becoming more concentrated. “Whenever I’ve lost a child, this is where I come. To say sorry to the universe, to beat myself up for not finding the right answer in time. To pray they move on without any more pain. Not one person has ever thought to come and find me until I’ve pulled myself back together. Not until you.”

His eyes found yours again and the stare was intense. You swallowed. “Is it bad that I-”

His lips found yours gently then, your eyes widening at the sudden gesture, before fluttering shut and feeling him press against you. All rationale was lost in that moment, your free hand moving up to grip onto his shoulder as the kiss deepened. And then he pulled away, his eyes were warmer than you had ever seen them before.

“I’m glad you keep looking at me. I’m thankful towards you more than you realise. And, I like you. A lot more than I should. I hope that this won’t affect our working condition.”

You realised just how long you had been looking towards the doctor with a similar gaze, how often you went the extra mile to help him, to talk about everything with him. All this time you had just felt it was because you were close as professionals, not understanding that you were both building something more unspoken between you. You smiled, moving your hand up to cup the side of his face gently. He instantly nuzzled into your touch, which made your smile grow.

“I like you too.”

“I kind of guessed with how you kissed me back like that,” he said with a faint blush and you bit your lip shyly. The emphasis on your mouth made him sigh and tear his eyes away from you, and then he got up, pulling you up in the process. “We better get back to where we belong.”

“Isn’t it right here?” you suggested and he looked around you both and then frowned. You held up your still linked hands and smiled. “I meant here.”

Minhyun grinned, albeit a bit shy from your forwardness, and nodded. He shifted your hand up to his mouth and kissed it lightly and then started towards the door. “With you at my side, I know we’ll be making a lot of good choices from here out. Let’s go help some more children together, hm?”

You nodded, letting go of his hand and stepping out into the bustling hallways, no one noticing the renewed expressions upon your faces or the stealing of glances at each other. But once you were back in the ward and attending to the children and their families, you remembered back to why everyone loved Doctor Hwang.

He wasn’t perfect, but he was human. And he was the human you loved.