The sounds of pencil fill up the room. I furrow my eyebrows as I attempt to draw a picture of Moana that I saw on Instagram. After a few more minutes, I release sighs of content as I successfully finished the drawing.

It’s very amateurish and probably miles lacking compared to the source image, but I’m nonetheless satisfied. I’m not particularly fond of art from the start but lately fell in love with it. I found refuge in it and in some way, each calms my mind.

I put the pencil down and grabbed my phone for a little break. I opened Instagram. Due to my new-found love for the arts, I have been constantly searching pictures and watching drawing videos. I’m not really sure but I think it’s helping me improve my skills. I now have a number of artists I follow, and I feel giddy seeing their updates. I scrolled and liked a few photos until I stop to admire one particular post.

It was a very pretty sketch of a place in Berlin. My finger automatically likes the post as if it was programmed to do so with everything my favorite Instagram artist uploads. I don’t know how to explain but I just feel emotions whenever I see those drawings. It feels like I’m there with them when he/she drew it, like I’m witnessing it all in person. Also, it amazes me how this guy takes trips just to draw these sceneries. It’s something I also longed to do so. Trips where you just do nothing but draw and admire the view.

I released an elongated sigh as I put the phone back on the night stand. I gather the pencils and the sketchpad and placed them inside my bedside drawer.

“Maybe someday.” I say as I drift to sleep. For now, I rest my mind so I can leave early for yet another stressful work day tomorrow.

-

I dragged my carry-on as I boarded the plane. I placed it inside the cabin and sat at my designated seat. I sighed as I look at the window. I’m finally going on that trip that I wanted but the circumstances leading to it was not very pleasant.

It’s never a secret that my Father thinks highly of men as compared to women. I can picture him being very much disappointed that he’ll be having a daughter instead of a man when I was conceived. Understanding his mindset, I worked my off to get where I am right now so I can prove myself that I’m as highly capable as any men. I graduated with honors receiving awards here and there, started from the bottom in his company, worked my way through the company ladder without special treatment, and is now a manager at such a young age of 27. Just when I thought the fruits of my hard work has finally paid off, here comes my Father announcing that I should find a man to marry so this man can take over the company because females shouldn’t do it. I can’t believe all my hard work went to nothing. How can he judge people based on what they have between their legs?

I arrived in Slovenia with my luggage, and art materials. As soon as I left the house after the argument with my father, I found myself purchasing a sketchbook and some art materials in the nearest supply store, and a one-way plane ticket online. Maybe it’s time I put my dream vacation to reality. I promised to only come back once I fill up all 50 pages with my drawings. I held the sketchpad with my hand and had a quick ran over the empty pages.

Fifty sheets to go.