The End [F+A]

Baekhyun Imagines

tw: mentions of cancer

 7 months to go 

You should have seen it coming. You, out of everyone should have been the first one to spot the differences. You spent every waking second with him, for gods sake. But, the doctor assured you that even if it was caught earlier, the survival rates for this one wouldn’t change. 

Stage three Leukaemia. One of the more aggressive types had developed within your boyfriend over the span of a few months. Family history showed no signs of the disease buried within his ancestors.

Baekhyun was just unlucky.

6 months to go 

And heartbroken beyond belief. 

Denial was a constant emotion in the first month that you both bared the news. He couldn’t believe this was happening, he didn’t want to believe it at all. 

Too many nights were spent on the living room floor, feeble arms wrapped around your boyfriend’s heavy figure as he lay with his head to the ground, tears falling like raindrops on the grey carpet, leaving a small stain in its wake.  

With each lone sob that filled the heavy hours of the night, Baekhyun's body shook, shook with such intensity that your own hands quivered against the small of his back, unable to control his saddened outburst. The apologies that spilt across his lips after every breakdown shattered your own heart, ten times over.

Your battle was a silent one. Late nights with your head against the cold wall of the balcony, tears dripping down your chin, pattering against your collarbone as you sat and watched the city lights falter and fade. Somewhere in the dark hours of the night, your jagged breaths would reappear whilst watching the skyline flicker. 

Because you knew, one day, he would go out too. Just like the lights.

5 months to go

Friday mornings that were usually spent at the cafe across your street (both you and Baek itching to try the latest coffee cooler) were now replaced by weekly hospital appointments. 

Chemotherapy had begun. 

He hated it. You couldn’t blame him, Baekhyun was known to be hyperactive in anything he did. So sitting for hours with a drip in his arm was absolute torture. 

“This ing .” 

“I know.” You whispered in his chest, tracing little circles against his arm as he held you with his free hand. You could hear his heartbeat drum against your ear, the sporadic beats going a mile a minute. You wondered how long he would deny the fact that he was absolutely terrified

He didn’t want to leave. And you didn’t want to think about it. 

4 months to go 

“, Baekhyun.” You whimpered, clawing the edges of his hair in response to the trail of his tongue against your bare collarbone.

“I love you.” He whispered in the depths of your neck, pressing gentle kisses to the smooth skin with so much fervour, your head tilted back at the burst of pleasure that circled the pits of your stomach. 

A certain movement of his tongue against your sensitive spot sent you over the edge, breathy moans spilling from your mouth as you repeatedly mumbled Baekhyun's name against the base of his hair, gripping his locks tighter than ever.

But your grip was too hard. 

Baekhyun stopped abruptly at the new, unwelcomed feeling against his hair. Soon, large hands moved to open up your closed palms. This time, you choked back a sob as you watched his face drop at the sight in your fingers. 

He was losing hair.

“, this is really happening,” He mumbled, a pool of tears darting across his face as he pulled at his own locks, a mix of anger and frustration painted on his face. 

“You can get through this Baek.” You whispered. “Im here.”

Lies. Because your sanity was long gone before his.

3 months to go

“Is this comfortable enough baby?”

“Nothing is comfortable anymore.” He replied, an emotionless laugh falling from his lips. You smiled, unsure of how to respond to his recent humourless jokes. Everyone had their own coping mechanisms, you guessed.

“Come here love.” Baekhyun mumbled, gripping the edges of the bed to try and push himself up towards you. You moved quickly, scolding him for trying to sit up. Especially on his bad days.

They were the worst - the bad days.

 For the last few months, Baekhyun had been kept at bay, the cancer neither growing or reverting back into a harmless tumour. To your relief, the chemo was working as well as it could. He was losing hair, nowadays sporting a beanie that made his pointed ears poke out in the cutest way. Baekhyun was unbothered about his appearance though, only hoping to get better again. For you, above anything else.

But the bad days never stopped, in fact - they got worse. Weekly doctor visits and abrupt Skype calls to his specialist had assured you both that chemo had terrible ways of working. You shouldn’t worry yourselves. Baekhyun's body was fighting its hardest against the leukaemia. 

“Im so proud of you.” You mumbled, moving forward to lie in the crook of his arm.

“For what?” He muttered, a confused expression darting across his worn out face.

“For getting through this.”

2 months to go

the doctors. They had never been so wrong.

Chemotherapy wasnt working at all. It was doing the opposite. 

You had never seen Baekhyun so defeated when the doctors broke the news. He was well into stage four. And no amount of treatment could help anymore. 

Baekhyun stopped talking to you for two days after the news, asking you to sleep in the guest room instead. You hated crying in front of him but this time, the tears were out before you could control yourself.

“You have to know what it feels like when im gone,” He whispered, moving his thumb to wipe the tear from your cheeks. 

You didn’t stop the cries that night. Long sobs soon turned into muffled whimpers as you lay with your head underneath the pillow, a pathetic attempt at hiding your distraught self. 

But he heard. Everything

And even though the wall had seperated you both as you lay in the cold sheets alone, both your tears fell in sync throughout the whole night. 

1 month to go 

Worse. Everything was getting worse.

Baekhyun had now been moved into one of the wards at the hospital. It was too unsafe for him to be at home, tended by you or his family. So the doctors decided that this was the best decision. 

You didn’t talk much, Baekhyun struggling to get the words out. For the most part, he was in a state of unconsciousness, laying limp and lifeless on the hospital bed as you watched over him, your sobs erratically breaking the silence once in a while.

It was worse when he was awake. You could practically feel his heart drop whenever he saw the wetness across your cheeks. But it was getting harder to hide your emotions when his own body was failing him. 

Daytime was filled with visitors from Baekhyun's workplace, his friends and family members who had travelled to see him.  But the nights were all yours. You watched his face contort in pain as he gripped your wrist through the series of injections he was given. You traced his prominent cheekbones, whispering soothingly in his ear as he weakly cried out after another episode. You tried your utmost to help him through it all. 

“Theres not long left.” He mumbled in your hair one night, breathing heavily against your touch.

“Please. Dont say that.” 

5 days to go 

The seizure almost took him out. Thats what the doctors said. 

You couldnt speak to him anymore. The nurses had put a mask over his head after his episode. It was dangerous for him to do anything.

So you watched him sleep, tracing his knuckles in the silent hours of the night.

And when the rest of the hospital was asleep, you cried out, your whole body shaking against his own cold, lifeless one as time dwindled on. 

“P-please dont leave me. Please Baekhyun. Please.”

Gone

But he did leave. And you felt a part of you disappear too.

Weeks after his funeral, Baekhyun's family thought it would be best if you cleared out his hospital belongings. You agreed in a heartbeat. Your love for him outweighed the pain of going back to his deathbed.

But you wished you hadn’t taken up the offer. Because the second you turned over his pillow, your heart almost flatlined. 

You stared down at the contents scattered across his pillow. Pictures of the pair of you were spread everywhere. 

And in the midst of it all, your eyes darted towards the clear box that was planted in the middle.

Your body gave way at the sight, knees falling weakly to the floor as your sobs echoed across the room, jagged breathing filling the quiet silence.

, Baekhyun. Yes, yesI do.”

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kyungwh0re
i actually wrote this with ksoo in mind but changed it to baekhyun :) not really a one shot, more so a very descriptive drabble. sorry!

Comments

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Chanchaniee #1
Chapter 25: Wow i never read this kind of story before.. but i like it... It's good ^_^
byunnur
#2
Chapter 25: Cuteeee ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ
Sey-ra
45 streak #3
Chapter 25: Omo sleepy cute..
alexajjang
#4
Chapter 25: aww so cute!!! sleeping with Baekhyun *_*
alexajjang
#5
Chapter 24: omg I love it!!! :P
skytten__
#6
Chapter 1: I am dead X_X
LoveBaek #7
Chapter 23: My hands are bleeding too TT
myungsoodaehyun36 #8
Chapter 23: This is really a masterpiece T.T the emotions, i can feel it. It made my heartbreak :(
Sey-ra
45 streak #9
Chapter 23: Omo this is ing sad.But please make a happy one for next time.
921127_930309
#10
Chapter 23: Let us all gather around children, for today we are crying over some good old angst and we need to stick together at times like this