in which byun baekhyun finds himself falling hard for the girl in the sweats at the library. and he has to constantly remind himself that he has nothing to lose by talking to her. because who knows? she just might become his entire world.

the playlist i listened to whilst writing this!

He was distracted, and really he shouldn’t have been. He had too much to do than just stare in silence at the faint figure to his left,  sat under the dim light of the library hall. Too too much. But Baekhyun continued on, watching from a distance. Mesmerised. He couldn’t help himself.

Baekhyun watched for longer than he should have. He didnt realise how long until he saw her small head peek up, soft irises half covered by overgrown bangs looking directly at him, a faint smile fluttering across her face for half a second before she smirked at the very dishevelled boy sat a few seats down.

Baekhyun had stopped breathing then, heart lurching in his chest at being caught in the act. The long pieces of baby brown strands that overshadowed her face had done a good job of taking his breath away, an intricate stretch of patterns etched across her face from the flurry of hair, making her skin twinkle under the exquisite chandelier. Plump lips painted a pretty shade of the faintest pink looked like delicacy from this angle. And he desired them to no end.

He wasnt ogling, . She was just too beautiful. He really couldn’t help himself.

I have absolutely nothing to lose, he chanted incessantly, looking back at the mount of papers covering his desk. His handwriting was exceptionally bad today. She was to blame. Baekhyun couldn’t concentrate at all and for a second he groaned, annoyed at his roommate Chanyeol for being so loud that Baekhyun had to rush to finish off work at the local library. Annoyed because now that he was here, work was the last thing on his mind.

The pretty girl to his left was the first, and only.

But in the midst of staring at the mess adorning his desk and cursing to no end, Baekhyun chanted once again, hands fidgety and head light. Nothing to lose. Absolutely nothing. Not when his sanity was hanging on thin strings already.

And with those words falling from his parted lips,  Baekhyun left the desk, stumbling across to her, sweaty hands digging further into the back pocket of his ripped jeans. Does he look like too much of a mess? No. It didnt matter. He had nothing to lose.

She hadnt taken her eyes off him from the second he left his desk, fumbling over to her. Chuckling softly, she watched the peculiar (but all the while, incredibly handsome) boy walk over to her, hands moving lightly to ruffle the back of his short, brown hair. When he arrived, Baekhyun towered over her, small eyes morphing into crystalline crescents as he watched her watch him. And with a shaky breath, he huffed.

“According to the New York Times, the biggest distraction when it comes to studying is the use of handheld devices, such as a smartphone. Well, they’re wrong. Because right now you’re my biggest. And im a smartphone addict.”

Absolutely nothing to lose. Well, beside his pride.

+++++++++++++++++++++

Baekhyun guffawed, the timber of his voice echoing across the walls of the dim - yet all the while eccentric pizza place they had chosen to go to on their third date. They were reminiscing.

“And im a smartphone addict!” She giggled, warm eyes tinkering across his face. Baekhyun’s heart skipped a beat, once again. He watched her laugh, smitten by the striking sound that left her radiant lips and bounced across the small room. He thought she looked stunning like this - long hair tied back, allowing him to revel in her small, blushing face, long eyelashes kissing the stretch of skin on her cheeks, causing Baekhyun to look away for a second. Mesmerised.

He thought she was the sun, personified.

“Oh please! I had nothing else to say!”

“Anything would have been better than that, and the New York Times, really?” She chuckled, slowly moving her hands forward to steal a chip off his plate before she threw a smirk. Baekhyun’s head reeled. She was so cute. So so cute.

“Handheld devices are the biggest distraction though.” He grinned, resting his chin on his palm. Baekhyun watched her scoff, fiddling with the ends of her necklace in the process. If Chanyeol was here right now, he knew the unexplainably tall giant would to no avail, giggling at how Baekhyunnie is whipped. But he didnt care.

He knew he was falling, hard.

“Earth to Baek.” She teased, waving her small hands across his face. He snapped out of his thoughts, finding the confidence to clasp onto her dainty fingers, his long, slender arms enveloping her tiny ones. He grinned, squeezing gently. She blushed.

“Yes, love?”

“I said, you were a distraction too! You kept staring at me and I was so confused, like here I am in my sweats, struggling to do my bloody economics homework when this hot boy acr-”

Baekhyun couldn’t help himself anymore.

“Please be my girlfriend.” He breathed, heart pounding in his chest.

Nothing to lose.

++++++++++++++++++++

Baekhyun was wrong. He wasnt falling in love. He was rising. Because she was the sun, personified.

He groaned, head still hazy with sleep. But as he rolled further away, a small mumble brought him back to reality.

“You’re a very wriggly sleeper Mr Byun.” She chuckled, voice as soft as velvet. Baekhyun could feel his heart pounding loudly in his ears as he turned, watching her. She was so pretty like this, all bare and beautiful. The long strands of her hair covered the right half of her face, the light from outside shimmering on her smooth skin. He reached out, curling one of the tufts behind her ear, poking her cheek in adoration.

“Sorry love.”

She grinned, moving her petite body closer to his torso. His breathing hitched.

“Sleep. Its too early still.”

Baekhyun chuckled softly, taken aback by her sleepy whines. She was so damn cute.

“Tired from last night, princess?” He mused, curious as to how she would react. Baekhyun was constantly learning more about her. And he fell harder each time.

“Wow.” She smirked, looking up from his chest. Her eyes were coated in sleep, droopy. Mesmerising. “Didnt take you as much of a tease.”

“And I didnt take you as a one either.”

“Baekhyun!” She gasped, swatting at his chest. He laughed, a hearty thing coming from the depths of his trunk. “A blindfold is hardly a kink.” A blaze of pink and red hues adorned her face though, making her look ten times more beautiful.

He thought he had really hit the jackpot this time.

They lay in comfortable silence for a while. Baekhyun played with the ends of her hair whilst she drew patterns across his chest with the tips of her fingers, occasionally tickling his sides, making Baekhyun laugh in surprise. He kissed her like it was the very last time after it all. She blushed profusely.

With fingers still tangled in her hair, Baekhyun stilled. It had been a few months of dating already, and he had never felt so whole. He had to tell her. Because if not now, then when?

“Princess.” He breathed, tilting her chin up towards him.

“…I love-“

She watched him curiously. “..Baekhyun?”

He snapped back, gazing at her dazed expression. “Huh?”

“Oh, I was going to say. I love your hair like this.” Baekhyun mumbled, breath catching in his throat.

Nothing to lose.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

It was colder than usual tonight.

Baekhyun huffed, struggling to breathe through his nose when the freezing air around him prickled his skin. He felt like ice. She watched from a distance, chuckling.

“This is why I said bring gloves!” She mumbled, shaking her head. Baekhyun watched her in silence, a smile immediately making way onto his cold skin as he watched her rub her fluffy, gloved up hands against his ones. She even blew onto them too, the warm breath of air making Baekhyun’s skin tickle. He chuckled, darting down to press a soft kiss to her pink nose. He was so in love.

“Technically its not my fault. Who asked Yeol to start a campfire in winter? Its ing freezing.” He whined, a pout evident on his face. She grinned, pulling him closer to her dainty figure. Baekhyun laughed then, moving down slightly so his head lay perfectly against the crook of her neck.

She was trying to warm him up. But Baekhyun already felt like he was on fire. Because she was the sun, personified.

“Shut up Byun. You loved the idea at first.”

“That was before I checked the weather forecast.” He mumbled, nuzzling further into her chest. The smell of vanilla and candyfloss filled his senses. His head reeled.

“Lets sit next to the fire. Im getting cold too.”

“Okay lady boss.” Baekhyun teased, hands intertwined with her own. She rolled her eyes, swatting him away. Baekhyun melted further as he watched her smile lowly from the corner of his eyes.

Time passed faster than Baekhyun had imagined. A campfire karaoke and two cups of hot chocolate later (alongside Chanyeol’s relentless teasing) and Baekhyun was done for the night. His head rested against her lap, her small hands rubbing soothing circles across his scalp. The rest of them had gone back to their tents, but Baekhyun stayed on, watching the love of his life lose herself in the heat of the campfire. Her beauty was unreal. He wondered how he was still stuck in the honeymoon phase. It had been over a year.

“Princess.” He mumbled, moving back up, away from her figure. She watched intently, a small smile plastered on her face as Baekhyun cupped both of her cheeks. His eyes instantly softened as he watched her, all dazed and confused.

“I love-”

“Wait, dont tell me.” She grinned, moving closer towards his ears. Now it was Baekhyun who was confused.

“You love my hair like this?” She teased, laughter tinkling the tips of his ears. He watched her laugh, her giggles bubbling up in short bursts at the inside joke. He groaned.

“I thought we left that joke last year!”

“No, you left it. Me and Yeol still laugh. Even harder actually.” She teased. Baekhyun pretended to be fake mad, lips pouty and puppy face on. She smiled in adoration at that, and he followed. Baekhyun was sure she was going to turn him crazy one day. She was so cute.

“Cant a man just say he loves his girlfriend in peace?”

That made her chortle, leaning forward to press a soft kiss on the edge of his lips. Baekhyun groaned once more, head spinning. She tasted like sugar against his tongue, making him all jittery and warm. He cupped her face, pulling her closer until she rested perfectly on his lap, never breaking the kiss. Maybe he was already crazy.

She pulled away seconds later, eyes hazy with a swift of lust. Baekhyun watched in adoration, mesmerised. He felt the jolt of nerves shoot across his body at the sudden thought that tinkered on his mind. It was the wrong place, and the wrong time. But love makes you do interesting things. Baekhyun would know.

“Marry me.”

Absolutely nothing.

++++++++++++++++++++

The chimes on the bell tower clock rang in Baekhyun’s ears. He fixed his suit, ruffling his hair with one hand. Chanyeol tutted beside him, half annoyed at Baekhyun for messing his hair up once again, half pitying him for his bundle of nerves. His roommate inched forward, fixing his brown locks. In the midst of it all, he grinned, wiping a trickle of sweat from Baekhyun’s forehead.

“Stop stressing. You’re supposed to be happy.”

“I am happy. Thats exactly why im stressed.”

“But , what if something goes wrong. Do you still have the ring? Its getting late, what if she cant make it on time? Do you thi-“

“Byun.”

Baekhyun sighed, a sorrowful expression darting across his face. He lowered his head, staring pointedly at the rim of his shiny shoes.

“She loves you.”

Chanyeol’s soft words caused him to look up, a fracture of a smile creeping onto his face. But before he could reply, the sound of the doors opening caused them to look away, both heads darting across the halls. Chanyeol grinned, patting Baekhyuns back. Baekhyun gulped.

The opening of their chosen song filled the corners of the room, making his heart lurch in his chest. The guests were seated. Baekhyun looked across the room, at all the smiling faces looking back at him. His breath hitched.

He wouldn’t look. He cant look. . He cant do it.

So Baekhyun settled on eyeing the tips of his shoes. He knew he looked a mess, a streak of pink blazing across his cheeks. He knew the guests were probably confused, and he was already getting used to the way Chanyeols fingers poked him from behind, urging him to look up. To watch the love of his life make her way towards him.

Baekhyun hesitated.  But in that moment, a faint thought slivered through his mind.

He had nothing to lose. Absolutely nothing.

And with that, Baekhyun took a deep breath and lifted his head up. Because he remembered that he was not falling in love, but rising.

And the trickle of tears that darted across his face showed exactly that. Baekhyun’s heart pounded louder than it had ever done as he gazed at his bride to be, the sound drumming through every thick corner of his ear. He watched her slowly, becoming breathless with every step she took towards him.

She was so, so beautiful. His gaze remained stuck on every aspect of her nervous steps. She wore white like it was made for her, an off the shoulder dress that swept across the floor. Simple and elegant. She took his breath away. Baekhyun’s eyes darted across the striking dress, hovering all the way up to her face. His breath hitched, again.

A small smile adorned her face as she watched him watch her. He looked surreal, the white tie of his suit matching perfectly with the colour scheme of her dress. She watched him look away, chuckling as he darted to wipe the tears that tinkered across his face. She watched Chanyeol smile, winking at her as he held a tissue up to Baekhyun. She watched the guests laugh, their hearts swelling at the sight before them. And then she watched him again. Mesmerised.

Baekhyun reached out, clasping her sweaty fingers in his shaking ones as she finished the walk. The guests chuckled. She grinned.

Baekhyun let out a small chuckle too, and a new fresh set of tears. She reached out to wipe them away. He kissed the tips of her fingers.

And with every kiss he puckered on her shivering fingers, Baekhyun’s mind reeled. He was so lucky. And suddenly so grateful for his law professor for giving so much homework, grateful for Chanyeol for being a loud , grateful for the local library for being open so late, grateful for her.

Mrs Byun.

The pounding in his chest didnt stop. He had found his person. He had found happiness, and love and light and warmth.

Because she was the sun, personified. And he had nothing to lose.