“Are you sure this is what you want to do?” Yerim asked with concern. She stared in disbelief at her best friend across the dining table after Sumin announced her plan.

She averted her eyes and stared at the window at the end of the room. Sumin is far from certain. The decision is scaring her. But she had thought it through, long and hard. She needs to move on from him. It is time.

Sehun is doing well. He has more activities, both individually and together with his group. His handsome face had graced several magazine covers, he participates in variety shows and currently filming a new drama. He has also done a catwalk for one of European top designers. Sumin is so proud of him. The world finally gets to see more of his potential.

However, seeing his photos or listening about him and his group on almost daily basis reminds her has been hard on her. Her heart continues to yearn for him and the constant reminders did nothing to help in letting him go. Especially after their unexpected meeting at the restaurant.

None of her friends that were at the dinner talked about Sehun. Not directly to her anyway. However, there were occasions when she noticed that they would awkwardly stop their conversations if she were to chance upon them. It is likely they were checking out his photos on the latest magazine spread or about his or his group TV or concert appearances and didn't want to talk about it in front of her. She knew they meant well. Hence, Sumin would pretend she was unaware of the awkwardness in the air.

With his increasing activities, his face and appearances are seen very frequently. She would see it as she travelled through the city; on billboards, malls and even bus stop or stumbled upon it when she the tv or while surfing the internet.  Each time, her heart clenched and the ache from missing him grows even more.

There was even a scandal of Sehun with Mina, a female Idol who was his co-star in one of his movies. Although Sumin knew it was most likely that the press and fans were exaggerating a normal interaction between ex-co-stars, but the reports that were written about how his comfortable and deemed close interaction with her was a reflection that he had gotten over his ex-girlfriend, affected her.

Although Sumin does not expect Sehun to continue to pine for her, nor should she assume the truth of each scandal, she could not help but feel hurt. The first time she overheard the conversation about the scandal on the train, she felt her heart being squeezed so hard that she felt faint. She arrived in school to find an awaiting Lisa at the gate.  Noting her bloodless face, Lisa had pulled her to a rarely occupied washroom and gave her a hug and a good talking to. 

Even at home, there were just too many things that reminded her of Sehun.

When she sat watching TV or playing games in the living area, she reminisced the times she was cuddled on his lap as they watched TV together or just chatting away. Her head fitted perfectly under his chin as his arms wrapped itself around her, enveloping her with his warmth and masculine scent.

There were times when Sumin could not swallow the food she cooked especially if it was his favourite dishes. She wondered if he is eating well. Kyungsoo had told her how fussy Sehun is with his food. Inspite his busy schedule, Kyungsoo would cook just to make sure Sehun eats well. She prayed that Kyungsoo continued to do that for him since she could no longer do it.

She missed having him in the kitchen while she cooks. Sometimes he helped with the preparation, but most time, he would just disturb her. Although she seemed to be annoyed with him when he bothers her while she was cooking, honestly she didn't mind.  She loves how he would wrap his arms around her waist as she cooks. In his playful mood, he would teasingly plant pecks on her face and shoulder. At times, he was being distracting by sensually kissing her neck and shoulder making it difficult to focus on the task at hand as her heart raced along to his searing touches. But most time, he just held her as he watches her, asking questions about the meal they were making.

At night in bed, she yearned the feel of her heated skin against his as their breathing sync, beating as one. She craved the feel of his skin under her fingers as it traced lightly on his handsome face while he sleep. Her room, even in the hottest summer night, is missing the warmth that exudes exclusively from him. Often, she woke up in the middle of the night; either because she dreamt of him or thought she heard him in the room. And her heart would break again.

Sumin started to spend more time with her painting. She poured her sadness and sorrow into her art, painting beautiful scenery that was melancholic. On one of those trips, she went back to Asan Gokgyo River to paint the ginkgo trees that lined the river. She was pleased that she was finally able to mix the colours to achieve the right hue. But halfway through the painting, she broke down and her body shook as she tried to contain the sobs. She remembered Sehun had promised to come back to the spot with her. That night, as she stared at the uncompleted painting in her room, she made the decision to start afresh.

She nodded slowly, although her eyes reflected the uncertainty in them.

Yerim sighed. She could see the hesitation and fear in Sumin’s eyes yet, the girl insisted on soldiering on. “I can’t believe your parents agreed to this,” she mumbled.

Sumin averted her eyes to the view outside the window of her bedroom. Her parents were against the idea but she had persuaded them. As they had always respected her decision, they eventually agreed to support it. But not before she felt burden with guilt. Close to tears, her mom had asked her to reconsider her decision, voicing her worries. Her dad stayed silent for several minutes before he spoke. “I trust you are doing this after thinking it through rationally. Because I be sorely disappointed if you are doing because you are running away from a problem.”

Yerim, who has been seated at the edge of Sumin’s bed, stood up. She was worried for her friend and thought it was an insane idea. “This is ridiculous. You are doing this because of Sehun, right?”

“No!” Sumin said firmly as her hand gripped her best friend’s hand. “I’m not doing this because of him.”

Seeing the disbelief on Yerim’s face, she eventually admits reluctantly.

“Ok, partly because of him. But mainly, I need to grow outside my bubble. I have always had my family, you and then Sehun on my back. Content with where I am, never needing to push myself too much out of my comfort zone. I need to face my fear. Be a part of the real world. I need to do it now that an opportunity is in front of me. I thought you of all people would understand that.”

Yerim stared intensely at her friend. She knew a major part of it has a lot to do with Sehun. Since the meeting with him at the restaurant, she could see how troubled Sumin was; staring into space and looking like she was on the brink of tears all the time. She buried herself in her study to an unhealthy level, even her paintings are now so sad, beautiful but sad. Yerim knows she is running away and maybe that