AUTHOR's NOTE:

I took a bit of time to update this chapter because as I wrote it, i had a change of mind. The plot to this story was roughly completed when I started it. I have a general idea of where I want to go to show their beautiful love. It was angsty after their relationship was discovered. But having written several heartbreaking chapters where my heart broke for them, I wasn't sure if I still wanted to go through the initial plot. Hence the subsequent updates going to take more time as I regroup and rethink the way forward. 

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He sat at a corner, casually popping nuts into his mouth, one at a time as he waited to be called. He had changed into his fourth outfit but the set was still being set up.  He kept his mind clear of any thoughts other than the current photoshoot.

Its been four months since Sehun came back from his painful break. When he first came back to the entertainment industry, he had a hard time. He got into a lot of trouble with his management for his singing on the radio. He had expected it but went ahead because he wanted to do it. He wants her to know that even as he is moving on in his life, he is not letting her go. And the reality is, certain songs, specific meals, or particular clothes would still remind him of Sumin and he would feel the pain of losing her all over again.  s tried to cheer him up; often playing with him and bringing him out for meals. As much as possible, they try not to leave him by himself. Even though he did not comment, he was aware of their actions for which he was filled with gratitude.

Unfortunately, no matter how they've tried, they could not fill the void left by Sumin. Especially when he was alone, he would think of her and their times together. When he was having a hard time, he missed how she would touch his face softly or his head gently while gazing at him with soft loving eyes. She didn't even have to say a word, yet her presence and the love in her eyes would make his worries or frustration ebbed away.

He experienced saudade ( a deep emotional stare of nostalgic or profound melancholic longing for an absent something of someone that one loves (an uncommon word but I thought it has the most apt description); he missed holding her in his arms, her warmth radiating comfort and love and when she would snuggle close into his chest, hugging him as if she would never let go, making him feel as if he is the only one that matters.  

He missed her terribly. Wanting to respect her wish while hoping that she would call him back, Sehun did not go to her place since their break up. But, once, when the pain in his heart was so unbearable, he went to her place in the middle of the night. He ended up, standing outside the main door, holding back his tears when he realised she has changed the pin code to the apartment. Instead of knocking on the door, he left with his gut wrenched because of the finality that their ties have been severed. Since that day, he had kept himself occupied filling up his schedule with training, gym, photoshoots and other events. He took whatever engagements given to him. Whenever he has free time, he would either go home and spend it with Vivi or meet his friends. The only unoccupied time he allowed himself was before bedtime; when he stared unblinking at the ceiling, wondering what and how she is doing and wishing that she was in his arms. It was also only then that he allowed himself to succumb to tears.

s and a few close friends understood his struggles. They have seen how he tried to keep himself busy, always scheduling activities with someone and working very hard. It hurt the members to watch the light disappearing from his eyes and his laughter becoming muted. He stopped talking about Sumin or openly grieving, but they knew that when he is alone at night, he would long for her.  A few of them have stumbled onto his cries. Even as they worried for his health since he seems to have little rest, they also knew he needed to occupy his time to avoid thinking of Sumin. On their part, they indulged him, joining in his activities and often gone out of their way to make him smile.

Fortunately for him, his fans have been rallying behind him with greater support than before.  Many events were organised by his fans on his behalf, both charity and promotional. For any event where he participated, it would be a sure sell out. This led to him becoming even more popular, making him more bankable. What surprised him was that SM accepting more offers for his personal involvement as compared to before. Previously, whenever he questioned why some offers from even well known companies were turned down or accepted quite late, he was told that they want to make him a bit more exclusive. Even in the upcoming comeback, he was told that he would get more opportunity to be centre for the performances. He wasn't going to quibble about it, accepting that this could be partly because SM felt guilty towards him.

As his life move away from Sumin, there was one thing that still connects him to her. Without anyone knowledge, Sehun still keeps in contact with Sumin. He often calls her, even though the calls were no longer picked up and went straight to voice message. He doesn't even know if Sumin still kept the old number and has access to the voice mails, but it did not matter to him. As long as the phone number did not belong to someone else, he would continue. Initially the calls were to rant, plead and cry but after a while, he made the calls just to talk to her. He would carry on a monologue telling her of his days, the activities that he does, and the new opportunities that has come his ways. He shared his complaints and his joys, as if she was listening on the other end. It may be an unconventional method, but to him it is like a therapy that remove the aches of loneliness and it made him feel that she is out there, giving him strength.

"Sehun!" He quickly looked towards the photographer who gestured for him to come to the set. While he listened to the photographer, his stylist started to touch up his make up and adjust his clothes. 

"The editor in chief jus