Biting her lips, she let her eyes wandered towards the green field without actually taking it the sight. Her heart felt heavy. Should she have insisted for one last meeting, so that the break would be easier for him. She sighed. Her eyes lowered back to the article on her phone.

"For health reasons, Sehun would not be participating in EXO activities. He will be focussed on his treatment and receiving adequate rest."

In the article, the agency assured the fans that Sehun is only suffering from a bout of flu and has been feeling weak. Based on the doctor's advice, he will be resting.

Very few people actually believed the article. Everyone knew that he took the break up badly. Despite the huge support and encouragement from his fans, who came back in waves, Sehun had been silent. He was seen once in public. The photo taken was scrutinized and everyone lamented how haggard he had looked.

After his pleas on SNS for his fans to accept his relationship, Sehun had stopped communication, even in his social media. And then, suddenly two weeks into their break up, he posted the song, On my own by his labelmate, Amber. Silence ensued. His fans empathised with his pain and tried to console him; Many wrote supporting words and even motivating videos for him, trying to encourage and cheer him up. 

A week after his break up was announced, Sehun finally accept that it was for real. Despite the many calls he made to her, Sumin did not say a word nor call or message him. She walked away, and not coming back. With his mind in major turmoil, he made the decision to stay at home as he just could not get himself to participate in any EXO activity. His heart was heartbroken and he needed time and space;  to be on his own to mend his broken heart and overcome the resentment he felt towards the agency and the industry for taking away something that is important to him. He needed to recalibrate his mind and soul before he could move forward. A time out from a public life he had since he became a trainee. Completely shutting himself from the entertainment world, he did not respond to the flurry of messages nor calls from his friends. He also avoided the social media except once. He only spoke with EXO members occasionally, as they are family.

Living under the same roof with his parents means he could not indulge in alcohol to numb the pain in his heart. Instead, he spent a lot of time with Vivi, pouring his heart out to his dog, who wagged its tail and his face as a show of understanding and love. His parents, tried to give him space, assuring him that it will get better and that at the right time in the future, he will find someone as lovely as Sumin.  He wanted to scoff at the notion of falling in love according to a schedule when his career permits. But he knew they meant well so he bite his tongue. One of his main regrets was that Sumin didn't get to meet his parents. He knew they would fall in love with her too and they would realise that there is no one that can replace her.

As he spent time away, he thought a lot about his life and his failed relationship. There were a lot of internal conflicts within Sehun. He understood why Sumin left him and never questioned her love. Yet, it still hurt him badly that she did leave him despite her promise. Sehun had always trusted her words, as Sumin is not one to renege on her words. Although the circumstance may have pushed her, he could not get rid of this anger.

When he started to check on his social media, he was touched by the show of support from his fans, even from the same fandoms that were disappointed when they found out about his girlfriend. His fans were worried about him, especially concern when he went AWOL totally from EXO's activities and then social media. They had rallied together, giving him a lot of support and encouragement. Although he knew that it was because of the reactions of his fans that led to the break up, he is still grateful that they are still rooting for him. His loyal fans stood by him, through thick and thin.

Towards the end of the second week at his parents' place, he received a call from his sunbae Donghae asking him out for a cup of coffee. Initially Sehun wanted to avoid the call because he was still not ready to go back to the Idol world. But Donghae has been his strength from the very beginning, when he was a rookie that was a nobody, always encouraging and giving him support. Reluctantly, he agreed to the meet up. His mum was delighted.

In the car after being picked up, he smiled gratefully when Donghae reached out and grip his hand. Ruffling Sehun's hair, Donghae chuckled, "You are such a brat." Sehun whined as he patted down his messed up hair. They drove to a small cafe that was quite empty. After several minutes of checking up on each other, Donghae spoke his mind.

"How long do you plan to stay away?" Donghae asked gently.

Sehun averted his eyes towards the view outside the window beside their table. "I don't know, hyung," he replied softly.

"Your fans missed you. Don't you miss them too?" Donghae asked.

Sehun nodded. No matter how angry and upset he is, he could not deny that he enjoyed the Idol life. He loves performing for his fans, meeting up with them and being with s.

"What's holding you back?" Donghae questioned.

He closed his eyes. Truthfully, Sehun wasn't sure. Admittedly he was still hurt from the break up. He missed Sumin like crazy and his heart still ached for her.  But staying home instead of being out there with s, did not help to relieve him of those feelings. In fact, he had even more time to dwell on it. Yet, he could not take the step to going back.

"Are you angry with your fans for causing the break up?" Donghae interrupted his thoughts.

Sehun opened his eyes and held his hyung's gaze. Slowly he shook his head. At the unbelieving look from Donghae, Sehun bit his lips."Maybe a part of me does. If the reaction weren't so bad, we could still be together," Sehun confessed.

"This thing reminded me of what she said before, about Idols wanting to have the cake and eat it too. You are exactly that," Donghae asserted. Chuckling at the shocked look on Sehun's face, he continued. "You are one of the Idols that are loved not only for your talents, but your looks too. And the dream that you are their Oppa. You can't blame the fans for being upset and reacted harshly when you are no longer attainable in their mind."

"Yeah, I guess. And they stayed. Still supporting me inspite of it," Sehun acknowledged. Donghae detected sarcasm in Sehun's tone.

"Sehun, I don't know Sumin well but I know she left because she loved you and not otherwise," he chided. Donghae has heard the story from BOA and also from the EXO members. He was grateful that Sumin was courageous enough to do it.

Sehun frowned at the light reprimand from Donghae. "She still left, hyung," Sehun whimpered. The hurt simply refused to go away.

"Yes, she did. For you. While you are hurting here, do you think she is at the other end, partying and laughing away?" Donghae rebuked him harshly. "It must have taken her a lot of courage to do it."

Sehun kept quiet. He knew it. He believed it. But his mind could not wrap around the fact that at the end, she left him. That hurts so much.

Since Sehun chose to remain silent, Donghae continued. "She left to return you back to the fans. The fans are waiting for you. What are you still waiting for? Continue to disappoint your fans and waste her sacrifice?"

"Hey, what's your plan after dinner?" Yerim asked at the dinner table.

Sumin raised her eyes, baffled. "Study?" 

That has been her life after Sehun. She filled every moments available with studying, giving the excuse that it is their final year, so she has to work extra hard. Yerim knew that Sumin is afraid to be alone with her own thoughts, as often it will lead to her in tears. Although she is eating better, Sumin has lost some weight and worse, she lost the light in her eyes. Despite her attempts to smile and be cheerful, Sumin could not hide the pain and sorrow in her eyes.

"Sehun is making a comeback,” Yerim offered cautiously, catching Sumin by surprise.

Yerim breathed deeply. She has been mindful about not bringing up anything that relates to Sehun. But she knew Sumin has been worried that Sehun had gone into hiding. She left, because she wants him to succeed in his career. But when Sehun stop his activities with EXO, she had been feeling guilty and regretted her action.

Sumin blinked several times. “What do you mean?” she asked curiously.

Yerim saw her bestfriend's eyes brightened in interest. "Well, he has been away, missing out on EXO activity for almost a month. It se