Chapter 18

This feeling. This sudden jolt of happiness. Jiyong thought he would never feel it again. But here he is, freezing in time, basking in the glow of Kim Taeyeon.

She might be a few meters away, behind the glass wall of the hospital observation room. The light of her wan smile reaches his heart still.

Then she says thank you. Jiyong might not be able to hear those words but the way her lips move, the little tilt of her head toward the nurse, he knows it by heart.

Taeyeon is back.

His Taeyeon is back.

“Is she really-really back?” The bubbling doubt within his heart feels so annoying at the moment. He needs to make sure that this is real. “Is she really okay?”

“Other than asking for you and some pleasantries, she refuses to really talk. Further psych consult will be needed. Initial check-up shows that full-body control won't be a problem though, a few weeks of physical therapy will do it.”

“She's awake,” Jiyong whispers under his breath, not even fully listening to Sandara's anymore. “Taeyeon is awake. Taeyeon is fine.”

The nurse gets out of the room and Jiyong almost runs inside if Sandara doesn't hold him by the arm.

“Ji... slow down. We're talking about a woman who just woke up from psychological paralysis here. No telling what she might feel about you or other subjects for that matter.”

“She's asking for me, right? Let me come to her. You said it yourselves, she has been conscious since the day I left the apartment. Days have been wasted on me being stupid drunk. Let me use these precious seconds.”

“Let me come with you. You're not exactly in a tip-top condition either.”

“Fine.” He impatiently steps forward but Sandara doesn't let him go just yet. “Dara, come on!”

“What about the baby? Will you mention it?”

The baby. Jiyong completely forgot about it. He thinks about it for a moment before shaking his head.

“Good.” Sandara let his arm go. “Assuming that she doesn't know yet, that particular news can wait.”

Yes, anything else can wait. Jiyong just wants to meet Taeyeon. He needs to make sure that this is not a dream. He needs solid proof that this is real. He walks hurriedly. Heart beats frantically. She's so close. So alive. So Taeyeon.

Right when Jiyong reaches the open door, Taeyeon looks up.

Their eyes meet. It feels like a soft morning breeze. It tastes like the comfortable wings of an angel wrapped around his once broken heart. He happily submerges into the cool ocean that is Taeyeon's soft gaze. He's happy, relieved beyond belief.

She blinks.

He blinks.

“Ji...”

His heart melts right when she whispers his name. The four long steps it takes to get her into his arms feel like forever but the sense of having her again spins him so fast he gets dizzy.

“I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.” He hugs her tight, not in a million years he will ever let her astray again.

“I'm sorry. I'm so sorry too.” Kneeling on the bed, she cries in his arms. Words of apology rapidly come out from between her trembling lips.

“Oh Taeyeon, I miss you.” No self-reservation. No lies. He has been through hell and she has seen worse. This is his time to make it right. “I miss you. I love you. I'm so happy you're well.”

She freezes. The hands that have been clutching his shoulders suddenly go limp.

“Taeyeon?”

As if his touch suddenly burns, she retracts herself from him. When he reaches, she curls up on the bed sobbing.

Jiyong turns his head to look at Sandara. She just shakes her head, signaling for Jiyong to get out.

He looks down at Taeyeon, feeling wrong. He looks at Sandara again, doesn't know if he can leave Taeyeon alone.

“Taeyeon.” After a short while of confusion, Jiyong braves himself. “Taeyeon, I'm here.”

“I know I did you wrong so many times but I'm here.”

Taeyeon cries even harder. Sandara whispers, asking Jiyong to leave once more.

Jiyong shakes his head. “Taeyeon listen. I can see that you've been through unimaginable pain but you've got me. I'm not gonna leave ever again.”

Taking a deep breath, he noisily drags one of the two plastic waiting-chairs to the corner of the room. “I'm staying, Taeyeon. You hear me? You can cry. You can get angry. You can do anything you want. I'm not gonna leave.”

“I'm staying.” He sits, staring at the crying woman that has become the biggest part of his soul. He's staying, no one can tell him otherwise.

Sandara clears , glaring at Jiyong.

He doesn't budge.

“I'm here.” When Taeyeon's cry starts to subside a while later, Jiyong smiles. “For you.”

With a heavy sigh, Sandara leaves.

A sudden noise startles both Jiyong and Taeyeon some three hours later. A nurse comes in and works a blood pressure gauge around Taeyeon's upper arm. An orderly follows the nurse with a tray of food, setting it on the bedside table before smiling at Jiyong and leaves.

“Good day, Mr. Kwon.” The nurse smiles knowingly at Jiyong. “Can't believe I see you around this facility again.”

“Good day, Betty.” Knowing that Sandara probably sends Betty to make sure both him and Taeyeon are okay is comforting. Jiyong knows he doesn't actually deserve Sandara as a friend. He will never be able to repay her kindness.

“Betty is my favorite nurse.” Jiyong tries to make eye-contact with Taeyeon. She has stopped crying a while ago, but only Betty's presence gets Taeyeon to uncurl herself. “We go way back.”

“Waaay back.” Betty laughs. “Can you move your toes for me, Miss Kim? Good. Now your fingers. Great. Any complaint? Any pain?”

Taeyeon shakes her head weakly.

“Wonderful. Some doctors will see you first thing tomorrow morning. If you need us, buzz that red button by the bed, alright?”

Still weakly, with tears streak all over her face, Taeyeon nods.

“Good, enjoy your lunch.”

Betty leaves, smiling encouragingly at Jiyong. Slowly, Jiyong comes closer to the bedside. Trying his best to copy Betty's comforting smile, he tries to talk with Taeyeon.

“You okay?” Gently, he touches Taeyeon's hand. “Aren't you hungry?”

Taeyeon doesn't answer, doesn't curl back up either. Her eyes fixed on the ceiling, giving Jiyong indescribable vibe of fear. Inside, he silently begs for Taeyeon not to come back into that nightmare.

“Looks like a delicious chicken pot pie.” He sits on the chair by the bed, putting the tray on his lap. “smells good too.”

“Come on.” He scoots closer, inspecting the tray. “There's fresh apple too. Roast potato, tapioca pudding, and orange juice. You're one special patient, Kim Taeyeon.”

Carefully, Jiyong scoops a spoonful of pie and brings it closer to Taeyeon's mouth. There's no way he can describe the relief he feels upon seeing the turn of her head.

Their eyes meet again.

“Ji...”

“Yes.”

“I'm sorry.”

With the spoon hanging in his hand, Jiyong warily thinks about what to say next.

“Don't be.” It's all he can muster, knowing that if he also apologies she might fall into tears again. “We both made mistakes.”

She her lips. Eyes get glassy all over again. “I can't... I'm....”

“We can talk later. We need to feel better first. Both of us.” He brings the spoon to his mouth, glad that the pie actually tastes really good. “Wow, this is nice. The chicken is so tender.”

“You never like chicken.” She frowns a little, shuffling to sit on the bed, completely unaware of how much that short commentary means to Jiyong.

“Oh, this one is too good to hate.” Jiyong grins, can't contain the happiness within. She remembers the food he dislikes. She slowly becomes his Taeyeon again. “What, you don't trust me? Open up, taste it yourself.”

She stares at the spoon.

“Come on, Tae.”

Slowly, Taeyeon opens , letting Jiyong help her eat the chicken pie. The simple interaction nearly knocks Jiyong out of his sanity. He has been waiting for too long. There has been so many stuff going on between them that this quiet moment overwhelms him. In a good way. In a very good way.

He breathes the closeness in. Carefully feeding her. Too afraid to talk about anything else but the food. He teases her about the soggy tapioca pudding, she grins a little.

This is a start. He doesn't want to get his hope up but this is a new horizon he has been looking for since the day he saw her freezing soul at Jinwoo's funeral.