Dear my beloved readers,

startling off im really sorry :( this is not an update

I dont know ive tried so many times, but i cant seems to wrote good ones, add onto that the news about Jennie and you know, it drop like a bomb and suddenly i lose it..the feels to write i dunno what will i do anymore, should i continue writing this or not, i really want to but then i dont have the "feels" anymore.

Seriously it broke my heart if i dont finish this story, but the things that happend make me sad.

-some part of me keeps telling me i should continue because from the buttom of my heart i really want to, but whats stoping me?  im too sad,

i swear that i will put all my attention and love to blackpink in 2016, but i know im making exucces to forget the disbandment of 2ne1 and add on to that my girlfriend and i break up( 4 and a half years of relationship were good riend right now tho), i feel lost at those times , so basically blackpink save me.

im scared what if blackpink would....i dont really want to think about anything anymore i want to shut down and all, im scared of that feeling again, what would the other girls feels, i dont hate Jennie, i love her i love them , 

i keep telling to my self , its alright as long as shes happy , as long as it doesnt affect blackpink we all know YG and the fact that their on a ban , as long as its not Jisoo or the two maknaes but damn, im on the point of i cant sleep anymo