Miyeon tried not to think about the hurt and disappointment growing in her chest and stomach. It had been weeks since the party and Shuhua hadn’t spoken to her once. 

 

She would see flashes of her in the hallway, always barely missing her. Miyeon decided it wouldn’t be best to approach first.

 

But she really wanted to. 

 

She ignored Soojin’s looks of pity every day at lunch, not having the capacity to talk about the whirlwind of emotions she’s been feeling. Soojin never pushed.

 

Even Yuqi, usually stone cold, expressed the slightest bit of concern towards Miyeon. 

 

Miyeon had gone to the library every day, hoping she would run into her, but Shuhua never showed up.

 

The party was a bit hazy for her, up until the part where she was in the bathroom with her. She remembered all of that. She remembered what Shuhua said. About how she wasn’t good enough for Miyeon.

 

And she remembered the kiss. 

 

And the way Shuhua disappeared out of the door right after. Like she always seemed to do.

 

 

Confused was an understatement when Miyeon was left alone in the bathroom, getting shoved out from the random partygoer desperate to get inside.

 

Soojin had appeared in front of her, excitement all over her face before she noticed something was off.

 

“What happened?”

 

 

She had dragged the red haired girl all the way back to her room, knowing that Yuqi was gone again. The alcohol had slightly left her system, but she didn’t want to think while she pushed Soojin onto her bed.

 

“Miyeon, are you thinking straight?”

 

The older girl got on the bed, hovering over her. “Obviously not.” Soojin gave her an unamused look.

 

She leaned in, kissing her lips harshly, wanting to shut her friend up.

 

Soojin pulled away. “Are you still drunk?”

 

“I am if you are.”

 

She frowned in response. “What happened?” She asked Miyeon again.

 

Soojin noticed the tears forming in the girl’s eyes. She cupped the older girl’s cheek, wiping a stray tear.

 

“Just distract me. Please.” Miyeon whispered, voice cracking.

 

 

Miyeon groaned as she lightly pushed Soojin off of her. The red haired girl sat up against the headboard.

 

“I’m going to assume, after all of that,” Soojin gestured to their sweaty, bodies. “That things didn’t go well with Shuhua.”

 

It was embarrassing how quick Miyeon broke down into pathetic sobs. Soojin was bewildered, not knowing how to comfort her friend.

 

“How could she just leave like that after kissing me?” Miyeon mumbled incoherently into her pillow.

 

Soojin’s jaw dropped. She had slept with Miyeon, against better judgement, not knowing that Shuhua had actually made a move on Miyeon.

 

She felt sick.

 

“I’m so sorry, but I should go.” She scrambled from the bed, slapping on her clothes haphazardly before running out the door.

 

What Soojin failed to notice while fleeing was Shuhua sitting by Miyeon’s door the entire time the two were in there doing what they just did.

 

 

It was pure luck when Miyeon flung open her stall door to find Shuhua applying lipstick in the mirror. She tried not to stare.

 

The older girl felt so small in her presence, a rush of deja vu greeting her as she stepped towards the sinks. Her heart was pounding and she hoped the Taiwanese girl couldn’t hear it.

 

“I haven’t been seeing you around lately.” Miyeon whispered tentatively, eyes glued to the water splashing on her hands.

 

She heard some shuffling next to her, followed by complete silence. Not even a noise in acknowledgement.

 

Miyeon sighed, glancing up at the mirror, locking eyes with empty ones for a split second. “You know how I feel about you.”

 

This seemed to grab Shuhua’s attention. “Do I?”

 

Miyeon was a little baffled at the tone of her voice. Angry, with a hint of sadness.

 

She turned to face Shuhua straight on. “Yes?”

 

Shuhua’s eyes held a fire, and it didn’t falter after she said her next words.

 

“Then why did you sleep with Soojin again?”

 

Miyeon noticed the jealousy in her voice this time, but it made her feel sick. How did she know? Did Soojin tell her? Why would she tell her? Soojin seemed to have regret it just as much as Miyeon did.

 

Shuhua closed her eyes and let out frustrated breath.

 

“I went to your dorm after the party to come find you and apologize for leaving.”

 

Miyeon paled. She already knew she made a mistake in sleeping with Soojin again, but this just made things worse.

 

The older girl was speechless. The amount of excuses running through her head weren’t what Shuhua deserved to hear.

 

So she told her the truth.

 

“I only slept with her because I thought you had regretted everything.”

 

Miyeon let her tears fall as Shuhua softly scoffed at her, crossing her arms as she pushed by the older girl, escaping the thick air in the bathroom.

 

She was left all alone again to wallow in her tears.

 

 

Miyeon had told Soojin what had happened in the bathroom the next day at lunch. She turned just as pale as Miyeon did knowing that Shuhua had knowledge of them sleeping together for a second time.

 

“We messed up, Miyeon. Real bad.”

 

“You don’t think I know that?!”

 

Soojin pouted, pushing away her tray of food. Nothing was even touched.

 

“Did you tell her it didn’t mean anything?”

 

Miyeon groaned. “Even if I did, it wouldn’t make things better.”

 

They sat in silence for a few minutes, before the cafeteria doors opened, revealing Soyeon and Minnie. But no Shuhua.

 

Soojin leaned in closer and Miyeon instinctively moved back. The red haired girl gave her a weird look.

 

“I was just going to say that I’m going to talk to Shuhua.” Soojin whispered.

 

Miyeon just nodded her head, feeling absolutely hopeless about everything.

 

 

A month passed by and Miyeon tried really hard to forget about a certain Taiwanese girl. She had been laying low, only really seeing Soojin during their lunches, and avoiding the library all together.

 

She should almost be relieved. Now she had no distractions during the rest of her time here at this school, just like she wished at the beginning. But why did she feel so wrecked?

 

Shuhua occupied her every thought. She was out of sight, but never out of her mind. Miyeon wondered how the other girl spent her time these days. If she ever thought about the older girl too.

 

She wondered if Shuhua ever cared to ask Yuqi or Soojin about her.

 

Soojin had talked it out with Shuhua, from what Soojin had told Miyeon, they had worked things out. The red haired girl was sorry to say that Shuhua was still hesitant on resolving things with Miyeon.

 

She had to do something to make it up to her, before it was too late.

 

 

“Yuqi! Why are you taking me here?” Shuhua harshly whispered as the girl in question quickly pushed her friend through the library doors, waving goodbye as she closed the door on her.

 

The Taiwanese girl pounded on the doors. “Are you serious?!” She quietly shouted, along with a bunch of Chinese words.

 

An awkward cough came from behind her and she whipped around, holding her hand to her heart.

 

“You scared me.”

 

She took a look around. The tables around the room were pushed to the side and there was a large blanket fortress in the middle.

 

Miyeon finally looked up at Shuhua. “I wanted to apologize for being stupid.”

 

Shuhua looked deep in thought, not saying anything for a while as she picked at her nails.

 

“Is that it?”

 

The older girl took a step closer. “I only want you. Always have, and I always will.”

 

Shuhua looked uncharacteristically nervous, her hands fidgeting and ignoring looking into Miyeon’s eyes.

 

She continued. “Let’s just try and give us a chance, okay?”

 

Shuhua’s nod in agreement seemed automatic, knowing deep down she wanted to give them a try. “Okay.”

 

 

It was hard for Miyeon to see Shuhua in the halls without wanting to wrap her up in a big hug. They continued to act like they weren’t together in public, but behind closed doors was another story.

 

Yuqi swiveled around in her chair, audibly gagging at the sight of Shuhua cuddling Miyeon in her bed. She turned back to her homework on her desk, shaking her head at the canoodling.

 

“I’m right here you guys, I hope you know that.”

 

Shuhua snuggled closer to Miyeon, responding to Yuqi in Chinese, receiving a groan from the other foreign girl.

 

Miyeon looked at the younger girls curiously. “What did you say?”

 

“That she can always leave.”

 

Miyeon lightly smacked Shuhua’s shoulder with her hand. “This is her room, too!”

 

“And what about it?” Shuhua pouted.

 

Miyeon gave her a quick little peck. Shuhua froze, untangling herself slightly from the older girl.

 

Miyeon squinted at her. Shuhua’s eyes darted towards Yuqi, her back towards them. Miyeon’s eyebrows furrowed.

 

Shuhua ignored Miyeon’s intense gaze, suddenly turning shy about showing affection.

 

“I’ll have you know, I will be gone this weekend!” Yuqi announced, still not facing them, successfully breaking Miyeon and Shuhua’s little moment.

 

 

“How did you manage this?” Shuhua questioned the blanket fort in the middle of the library.

 

Miyeon smiled secretly as she led the younger girl inside. 

 

They sat down on top of the pillows covering the floor. Shuhua brought her knees up to rest her chin on them, picking at a loose thread on the blanket under them.

 

“I’m scared.”

 

Miyeon looked at Shuhua, waiting for her to continue.

 

“I’m scared of my past, my future.” Shuhua’s eyes trailed down to Miyeon’s hands, softly intertwining her pinky with hers. “And the present.”

 

Miyeon pouted, fully grabbing a hold of the younger girl’s hand. “Please don’t be.”

 

She turned around and shuffled around her backpack, pulling out a portable CD player. Miyeon plugged in her earphones and gave one earbud to Shuhua.

 

A familiar melody played and Shuhua’s ears perked up. It was her favorite soundtrack from one of her favorite animated movies.

 

“How did you know this was my favorite song?”

 

Miyeon’s eyes twinkled mischievously. “It is?”

 

They laid inside the blanket fortress for the rest of the night, just in each other’s company, pretending like they were the only ones in the world. 

 

 

Miyeon had found it a bit odd that she hadn’t seen Soojin around for the past few days. Usually, the red haired girl would be bothering her at lunch nearly everyday.

 

She was broken out of her thoughts when Yuqi slammed her bag shut, hurriedly saying her goodbyes as she went out their room door.

 

Not even a second later, Shuhua comes out of the closet.

 

“You scared me!”

 

The Taiwanese girl shrugged nonchalantly, as if she hadn’t been hiding out in their dorm for the past half hour, while she plopped down onto Miyeon’s bed.

 

The older girl shook her head in amusement, but her mind went back to her previous thoughts.

 

“Have you seen Soojin around, Shuhua?”

 

The girl in question abruptly pinned Miyeon down onto the bed. “Don’t know, don’t care.”

 

She dived in, peppering soft kisses all over Miyeon’s neck. It took her a second to collect herself, but didn’t make a move to stop her.

 

“I-I’m being serious.” Miyeon stuttered out, feeling Shuhua frown through her kisses.

 

“I haven’t seen her in a while either.”

 

This time, Shuhua planted a gentle kiss on Miyeon’s lips as the older girl sat up. She wrapped her arms around Miyeon’s neck, deepening the kiss.

 

Just like their first kiss, Miyeon was losing herself in everything that was Shuhua. The way her lips just melded with hers, like they were magically made for each other.

 

There were slow kisses and fast kisses, nothing more, but it went on for the rest of the morning. They were on cloud nine, forgetting about the outside world again and all the trouble that was going on right under their noses.

 

 

Yuqi was pulled away right as she stepped outside the school doors.

 

“What the hell?!”

 

A hint of red hair popped out from the black hoodie the figure was wearing.

 

“What’s going on? What’s with the disguise?”

 

Soojin pulled down her black face mask, checking their surroundings before responding.

 

“They found us. We have to leave now.”

 

“Just wait a second!” Yuqi quietly exclaimed, staying put while Soojin tried to drag her away. “Where have you been?”

 

The red haired girl sighed deeply. “I hate that this is so sudden, but we have to get Shuhua and go.”

 

Yuqi stilled at the mention of the younger girl. “She’s with Miyeon.” Soojin barely heard her mumble.

 

Her eyebrows rose at the new revelation. She obviously had been gone for far too long. A lot has happened in the past couple of days. Without further question, Soojin ran inside to collect their third member.

 

 

It took everything in Shuhua not to slam the door on Soojin out of pettiness.

 

The Taiwanese girl scoffed lightly, holding the room door ajar. “What?”

 

“They know we’re here. We have to go.”

 

Shuhua’s eyes widened, looking back at Miyeon on the bed before closing the door so only her face showed.

 

“What?! You can’t be serious, Soojin.”

 

The red haired girl groaned. “Ive found us a place to stay for a bit, that’s why I haven’t been around.”

 

Shuhua was speechless. The timing was absolutely horrible.

 

Soojin continued. “Come on, Yuqi is waiting for us.”

 

The younger girl stuttered, torn between saving her own life and staying with the girl she was surely almost in love with.

 

“But what about Miyeon?” Shuhua pathetically whispered, holding back tears she hasn’t experienced in years.

 

“I’m sorry.” Soojin was genuine. Miyeon had become her friend too, and she thought about taking her with them, but that would put her life in danger too.

 

And Soojin couldn’t have that.

 

“We’re going to have to move on.” Soojin whispered, averting her eyes elsewhere, not wanting to see Shuhua’s eyes water.

 

“Just give me a moment.” The Taiwanese girl shut the door on her friend.

 

 

Miyeon felt oddly tense about the conversation going on at her dorm door. It took a second, but Shuhua had softly shut the door on who seemed to be Soojin.

 

“What was that all about?” She joked lightly, although a bit nervous at the tense look on Shuhua’s face. “Soojin couldn’t even say hello? I haven’t seen her in days!”

 

Shuhua smiled, but Miyeon could tell something was off. She joined her back on the bed, just looking at Miyeon.

 

“Do I have something on my face?” Miyeon mumbled, getting self conscious all of a sudden at Shuhua’s intense gaze.

 

Her question went unanswered as Shuhua leaned in, pressing the softest kiss to her lips. The younger girl took it all in.

 

She knew this day would come. Where her and the others would have to run away again. She didn’t know it would be hard this time. She shouldn’t have fell for someone.

 

But she couldn’t help it.

 

Shuhua broke away, finding everything in her to do so.

 

“What was that for?” Miyeon smiled softly, slightly goofy. Shuhua wanted to stay like this forever. She cupped the older girl’s cheeks, taking one last look into her favorite pair of eyes.

 

“I have to go, but I’ll see you later.”

 

Shuhua closed her eyes and leaned in for a quick kiss, keeping her eyes shut as she turned away to walk out of the room.

 

She would have stayed if she allowed herself to see Miyeon one last time.