• butterfly in my stomach •
• wings of a butterfly •

"Chenle look," Jisung sighed over the phone. "I can't anymore." His small eyes focused on the ceiling above him and with a small frown, he sighed once again.

"But Jisung-"

"No, Chenle!" Jisung's voice was more forceful this time. Chenle had not been listening to him the entire time. All she did was protest with what Jisung said. "I need to stop this. You know how Haechan feels."

"How about how I feel Jisung? Do you even care about my feelings?" Chenle asked from the other end with a hint of sadness in her voice.

Jisung wanted to say he didn't care. That he simply wanted Chenle and nothing else from her. No love nor feelings. Yet the disappointing part is that he did still care for Chenle. Maybe even more than he cares for Haechan. "Yes, but I need to prioritize Haechan right now."

"Why?" Chenle cried out.

"Because she's my wife." Jisung hated saying that. He just hated admitting that Haechan was someone who belonged to him. After everything he'd done to her, how could she possibly still be his wife?

Chenle seemed like she was about to speak up again, but Jisung had to stop her. "You don't have to say anything Chenle. This is over and that's all."

Like that Jisung turned off the phone and laid back on his bed. He took another deep sigh and closed his eyes, remembering what Haechan had said to him that day.

All I did was love you!

Remembering how the corners of lifted into a bright smile and the little sparkle in her eyes. He remembers everything and although it had been a few months since she'd last spoken to him, he remembers everything.

Especially the moment he ripped the wings off of her back and watched the tears fall from her eyes.

Jisung unlocked the door, awfully tired from being at work for the entire day. It was late at night and to his surprise when he opened the door, the house was very quiet. Sure, Haechan wasn't that loud. But she'd usually welcome him into the house or be waiting for him on the couch. When he'd checked the living room Haechan wasn't sitting there too.

Instead of looking for her Jisung simply ignored the fact that she wasn't there and went to the kitchen. He knew she would show up in a bit. Plus he had already told her that he had something important to tell her today.

With a small frown he picked up an apple on the counter and took a bite out of it. Jisung was currently trying not to think of his previous event with Chenle. The way she bit her lower lip and slightly smiled at him was something he tried not to remember around Haechan. Simply because he felt awfully bad for his wife. But now, Jisung was done spending nights with Chenle only to get a call from Haechan the next morning and lie to her about his whereabouts. Now he wanted to stop making Haechan suffer or get upset.

Jisung knew one thing though, it was impossible to let go of Chenle. Haechan was easy, he had no feelings for her. All he got out of her was a clean house, ironed clothes, and warm food. But from Chenle he received something so much more satisfying than Haechan. He felt bad, but his wife was simply too boring for him. All she did was smile and obey every single command that he had, not once did she in the way Chenle did.

So instead of letting go of Chenle, Jisung was prepared to let go of Haechan. He wanted tell her truth, about the thing happening between him and Chenle and how he simply couldn't keep this up anymore. About how he didn't want to hurt her heart and let her go. About how his wife deserved so much more than this, than this torture that he gave her. About how Haechan deserved sweet and affectionate kisses over ones filled with lust. 

Finally he'd heard Haechan's foot steps and could tell she was walking into the kitchen he decided to turn to look at her with a blank expression. She responded to his poker face with a bright and dazzling smile, like always. 

"Welcome home," she said, sounding a little more happy today than other days. Even her smile was slightly brighter. And today it seemed that she was dressed up nicely for him too. "How was your day?" She asked as she approached him.

"Good," he responded by taking another bite into the apple. 

"Hmm," she nodded, her smiled seemed to be engraved onto her face. Haechan looked down at the ground for a moment before looking back up at him. "Are you hungry? Let's eat."

Jisung nodded and put his apple down onto the counter. He followed her towards the dining room where they sat down at the dining table. Their food was already sitting there, since she always prepared their food before hand and set the table.

The two of them began eating in silence, she was used to him not talking to her. Yet still, she had an odd smile on her face. By now she'd usually not be smiling and too focused on eating.

Jisung felt guilty seeing her smiling. He knew what he was going to say was to make her upset, yet he couldn't keep lying to her. "Haechan, I have something serious to discuss."

Haechan, who had finished eating, put her spoon down and nodded. She rested her chin against her hand as all her attention was on Jisung. "Yes."

Jisung looked at her for a second to see that small sparkle in her eyes but then turned back to the food. He couldn't simply look at when admitting the truth. No, her smile was too brightening. "You know Zhong Chenle right?"

Haechan nodded. She remembers Chenle. Jisung had brought her home for dinner a few times so she remembers her very well. "Yes of course. Why? Is something about her concerning you?" A small look of worry spread over he face for Chenle. Little did she know that the woman she was worrying for didn't think twice before kissing her husband.

"Well," Jisung was now done eating so he put his spoon down and focused his attention on Haechan. "No, it's about us Haechan."

"Us?" She seemed a little more confused.

Jisung sighed and nodded, he couldn't stand the look worry and confusion on her face. He didn't want to make her feel this way, but he knew it would only hurt her more if she didn't know. "Yes. It's about our marriage. I don't think it's all that full of love."

Haechan's brights eyes seemed to darken a little. She didn't understand what he was saying. He heart was only filled with love for Jisung. How could he say such a thing? "What?" She questioned in a soft voice. Her smile instantly melted off her face.

Jisung looked down at the plate and took a deep sigh. "Look Haechan, I don't wanna break your heart but," he looked back up at Haechan, "I've been with Chenle for a while now. I didn't want to be unfaithful to you so I'm sorry but I had to say it. I think we should get divorce." 

Jisung didn't want to see the heartbreak on her face. No he simply couldn't watch as the sparkles in her eyes began burning her alive. So he looked down at the plate and tried to distract himself he picked up the plate and put it over to the side. "I'm so sorry but we just ca-"

Jisung's words got caught in his throat the moment he looked down at the paper on the table. Fear filled his eyes as he slowly looked back at his wife, only to see tears spilling from her eyes.

Jisung looked back at the table, just to make sure that his brain or eyes weren't playing with him. Right there laid a paper with the most horrid words he's ever read and a picture, just for proof.

The butterflies in my stomach have turned into two tiny feet.

Jisung gulped and reached to pick up the picture of the ultra sound. He could see it, the smallest little head of an unborn baby. Tears somehow filled his eyes to as he looked over at Haechan again. By now, she was sobbing intensely. "Y-you're pregnant?" His voice was shaking in fear.

Haechan didn't respond. Instead she stood up and turned around to leave the room. Jisung quickly stood up and caught her arm before she could leave. She still didn't turn to look at him though, yet he could hear her crying.

"Haechan I'm sor-"

"No Jisung!" She turned around. This time sadness and anger filled her eyes and she simply couldn't help but blame him. "You aren't sorry! You're just a cheater! All I did was love you!"

He stood there in silence. Jisung didn't know what to say. Her entire world