Chapter 30:

*.☽.*

Forty past nine in the morning.

We were inside his car, one kilometer away from the entrance of the town. I asked him to stop driving fifteen minutes ago to buy some time. I started to get anxious about him leaving again. I was leaning my head on his shoulder and was feeling sad when he urged me to get out of the car. He opened the door for me, held my hand, and took me in front of the car. He looked at me for a brief second without saying anything and I did the same thing until I couldn’t anymore and looked away.

Ara’s words started to fill my thoughts once more and I couldn’t help but feel anger building up inside me. I was getting caught up with all the negative emotions when I felt his delicate fingers on my cheek as he made me face him.

He’s got a soft expression on his face. I knew I was somehow making him worried and he confirmed it when he pulled me into a gentle hug, his arms giving me the most satisfying embrace.

“What’s wrong?” I heard him ask.

I bit my lip. There was always something about his gentle tone that’s making me more vulnerable. When I didn’t answer, he hugged me a bit tighter. My hands remained on my sides until I couldn’t help but hug him back.

“Nothing.” I lied.  “I just…” I paused as I suddenly felt like breaking down being inside his arms right now. “I just really don’t like missing you that’s all.”

I heard him chuckle.

“Oh, I like it when you miss me.” He said.

I immediately leaned away from him and wondered about the formation of a playful smile on his lips.

“Are you pouting at me right now?” He asked, already teasing me obviously.

Oh my god. I was. I was pouting unconsciously and I was too frustrated to notice. I panicked a bit, I didn’t know why but I guess I wasn’t used to acting this away around him yet. Or do I even act this way around someone at all? No, I guess not. Just him, he would always be an exception. Probably.

I suddenly straightened my posture and tilted my head down.

“No.” I denied.

My cheeks heated, embarrassed at the absurdity of my reasoning.

He laughed as he let go of me to lean against the hood of his car then extended an arm to reach for my hand. He urged me to stand in between his legs, wrapping his hands over my shoulders. I tilted my head right when he leaned his head against mine.

“I miss you already.”

My heartbeat raced at his words. I closed my eyes, wanting and wishing he’d never have to leave. I wanted him to stay so bad, it’s making me sad.

“I can’t imagine how much I’ll miss you later when I drive home alone.” He added, tugging at my heartstrings.

“I wish you could stay,” I muttered, my heart winning over my rationality.

He sounded a bit surprised by my response, his arms loosened around me.

I took a deep breath as I broke myself free from his embrace. He didn’t say anything but observed me when I turned to face him. There was an absolute look of regret on his face. So, I momentarily looked down trying to distract my emotions because I was pretty sure my tears were ready to make their presence known anytime from now. But then again, I was also aware that there was no use pretending in front of him. So, after a brief second, I leaned closer as I slid my hands inside his jacket and wound them around his waist, hugging him. I leaned my head against his chest and was instantly comforted by the beating of his heart.

“I don’t want you to go, Baek,” I said, my voice filled with affection, and I wasn’t surprised at how clingy I sounded. “I wish I told you not to go earlier,” I added, closing my eyes in the process.

He remained silent for a couple of seconds before I felt him hug me back.

“Should I just stay?”  He sounded sad and wistful at the same time.

He couldn’t. We both knew this.

I filled my lungs with air as I hugged him tighter.

“Come back to me,” I said without a second thought.

“I will.” He answered right away before planting a kiss on my head. “Always.”

The melancholic atmosphere brought an undeniable pang in my heart.

“I will always come back to you.” He added in a soothing voice.

I could only close my eyes and satisfy my senses with everything his presence was giving me now. For I knew so well that moments after he’s gone, I’d have to deal with separation anxiety all alone.


*.☽.*

His flight was at four in the afternoon and he called and talked to me briefly right before he departed. I saw a few of his airport photos on the internet. It was going to be a long flight for him and I hope he gets to rest well before the shoot. The shoot brought me to think of Kim Ara but then I immediately suspended the thought and made my way to the flower shop to help Aunt Sunny.

I called my parents that night and we talked about everything I’ve been doing in Korea, except my relationship with Baekhyun of course. The inevitable question of my return to Australia was also brought up. I told my mom since she was the one who actively threw the question every time, to give me a few months more. We talked for about an hour before we ended the call.

I missed them, of course, I do. But leaving Korea now wasn’t something I have in mind at the moment. I knew I had to go back and it was only a matter of when.


*.☽.*

Baekhyun and I communicated constantly the whole time he was in Paris. The seven-hour time difference between Seoul and Paris kind of made it hard for us to call each other but he sent me messages from time to time. He also sent me his different looks for the photoshoot as well as the beautiful locations.

“I wish you were here.”
“This place would be perfect if you’re right beside me.”
“I’m going to take you here someday.”

His sweet captions never failed to make me smile. And I would tell him how much I hate him for making me miss him more.

Me:
Are there a lot of beautiful women there?
10:36 PM

Byun:
Well, yeah but the most beautiful is in Korea right now.
10:40 PM

I instantly let out a soft laugh upon reading his reply.

Me:
You’re such a flirt Baekhyun.
10:41 PM

Byun:
Exclusively for you.
10:42 PM

My god, I hate him.


*.☽.*

On his last night there, he told me that he was going to have dinner with the whole team. I instantly knew that Ara was going to be there and so was everyone. I guess I didn’t have to worry. I also trust Baekhyun so there wasn’t going to be any problem with it.


*.☽.*

Saturday.

I woke up the next morning and the first thing I did was check my phone but there were no messages from him. It should be around two in the morning there.

Isn’t he back in his hotel room yet? I wondered.

I decided to call him but he didn’t answer and I thought that he might have already fallen asleep so I didn’t try calling him again.


*.☽.*

08:45 AM

We just finished eating breakfast at home. Uncle Jin woo was at work and Aunt Sunny went to the flower shop ten minutes ago. So, it was just Ji Hye and me who were left in the kitchen. Then I noticed something weird about her. She kept looking at me and whenever I turned to face her, she would look away.

“Is something wrong Ji Hye?” I asked her out of curiosity.

I saw her bit her lower lip and suddenly seemed like crying.

“Hey, what’s the matter?” I asked more, alarmed by the look on her face.

I was sure that she was about to cry, I could see her tears pooling in her eyes.

“Are you not feeling well?” I couldn’t help but worry.

I noticed that she had her phone in her hand and she was gripping it. I didn’t know why but seeing her this way kind of scared me.

“Eonnie…” She muttered but paused right away.

“What is it Ji Hye?

Please, let this be not about Baekhyun.

Then she started crying. Her tears rolled down her cheeks before she ran away. I spaced out a bit, what was it that she was trying to tell me but couldn’t?

Could it be about Baekhyun?

I washed the dishes and I couldn’t help but be bothered by Ji Hye’s behavior. So, right after dealing with everything in the kitchen, I went back to my room and checked on my phone, which was on my bed, right away.

Two Missed Calls from Baekhyun.
Four Messages from Baekhyun.

What was going on?

I checked on his messages first.

Byun:
I’m not sure if you’ve already seen it but if you did, please let me explain.
07:55 AM

Byun:
Baby, hear me out first.
08:10 AM

Byun:
Hae Won…
08:11 AM

Byun:
Please call me when you see this.
8:20 AM

I’ve already seen what? I got so confused and worried at the same time. This was making me feel paranoid. I closed my messaging app and went to an internet search portal. My fingers were slightly trembling as I typed in Baekhyun’s name on the search bar. And in a matter of seconds, I found the answer to my question. I found out what brought tears to Ji Hye’s eyes. I found out why Baekhyun wanted to talk to me.

There were several recent articles about Baekhyun in Paris and it wasn’t about the Photo Shoot. Right next to his name was Ara’s. My fingers continued to tremble as I scrolled down and finally read the headlines.

Baekhyun and Ara’s Romantic Trip to Paris.
Baekhyun and Ara spotted.
Can’t help but Fall in Love in Paris: Baekhyun and Ara.
Seems like Baekhyun and Ara can’t keep it a secret anymore.

All the headlines had identical photos that made my knees weak and gave me that familiar sinking feeling right behind my chest.

The photo was a stolen shot of Baekhyun and Ara outside of what seemed to be a restaurant. The photo was zoomed in and was already a bit pixelated but everyone who knew them would recognize it was them. They were standing facing each other. No, they weren’t just standing, they were too close to be just standing. In fact, Ara was tip-toeing…kissing him.

It was as if my heart stopped beating for a moment as my blood ran cold.

What did I just see?
Baekhyun and Ara…

“No,” I muttered, in denial as I scrolled down the page. “No, no no…” I kept shaking my head sideways. “This can’t be real.”

My brain was cramming, unable to fully process everything right now.

“No,” I said once more as I continued to check on the other articles.

“…Baekhyun and Ara were spotted being cozy in the most Romantic place on Earth…”

I suddenly felt dizzy, I didn’t know what to do. I spaced out unable to think of anything afterward. My thoughts were a mess. Then my phone, for some reason, had somehow become so heavy for me that I had to slowly put it down.

I couldn’t breathe properly as my weakened knees caused me to sit on the bed as well. My room wasn’t that small nor that spacious but I suddenly started to feel suffocated, I brought a hand to my chest.

What is happening to me?

I wanted to cry but for some unexplainable reason, there weren’t any tears in my eyes. This is scary. This isn’t how I usually react to things similar to this one. I couldn’t even feel a single tear forming in my eyes. I just couldn’t. I bit my lower lip as I closed my eyes for a few seconds.

This is insane. Did I really just see them kissing?

I was so aware of the growing void right behind my chest and it was slowly eating me inside. The same void I felt that day when I broke up with him.

This is almost unbearable.

No, Baekhyun just didn’t…

There was a part of me trying to justify things, trying to reason me out of this but the other part was just too perturbed by what I just learned. I blinked my eyes a couple of times and I forced my head to think properly but I still couldn’t. I kept spacing out until I felt my fingers slightly tremble.

I lay on my back and stared at the ceiling blankly for a couple of minutes before I closed my eyes only to think about everything I saw on the internet.

That kiss.

Oh, god no. Please I don’t wanna think about it.

I opened my eyes and immediately got off the bed. I went to the bathroom, stood in front of the sink before washing my face. I did it a few times, desperate to get rid of the image in my head.

With water dripping down my face, I stared in the mirror.

I had a feeling something was going to happen in Paris but everything seemed to go well, I had forgotten about what Ara might do.

But now, this? How did it happen?


*.☽.*

I went back to my bed hoping to finally get back to my senses when I heard my phone beep. I gazed at it for a good minute, debating whether to read it or not, before I stretched an arm to grab it.

Byun:
I’m going to head back to Korea now. I’ll drive to your house right away.
09:17 AM

Reading his message somehow made me snap out of my incoherent thoughts for the past minutes. He was going back to Korea at this time? As far as I knew, his flight back should be at two in the afternoon but he’s going back now. It should be around two in the morning there by now.

I also didn’t know what to do with this information. He was going to see me right away and I couldn’t even digest everything I have seen and read on the news yet.

I was certain, I won’t be able to reply to his message properly at this state, so I put my phone down again. I looked around and felt that sinking feeling again, I felt like drowning and it’s making me so anxious right now. Everything was seemingly closing in, and I had to get out of here.

I ran out of the house, passed by the flower shop until I was out in the streets, and ran as fast as I could. The wind was blowing hard, making my hair dance along with it. I might look crazy right now, running dodging everyone I pass by. I didn’t know where I was going exactly until I turn right and reached an unoccupied street. I stopped in the middle of the road.

I took a deep breath, desperate to fill my lungs with air. My mind was blank for a couple of seconds until the wind blew, the icy feeling almost felt like knives against my exposed skin.

Then, everything flooded my thoughts once more. From every word Ara told me that night to the photos I’ve seen on the internet, Ji hye crying, Baekhyun going back to Korea right away. The possible aftereffects of the scandal. Everything.

My tears, as if finally deciding to make their presence known, unstoppably rolled down my cheeks. I started to cry so hard it was so hard for me to keep quiet. And when I couldn’t anymore, I started bawling. Feeling helpless, I brought my hands to cover my face as I bent my legs.

I was so hurt, no maybe hurt was even an understatement. The pain I was feeling was too overwhelming, I couldn’t even bring myself to think about him.

I cried my heart out until I couldn’t anymore.
I slowly stood and wiped my tear-stained cheeks.

“My god Park Hae Won, get your together.”


*.☽.*

At lunchtime, all four of us were there and Ji Hye and I avoided eye contact most of the time which I was pretty sure Aunt Sunny and Uncle Jin Woo noticed. I didn’t have much appetite for food as well so I ended up finishing early, excusing myself to go back to my room.

I stayed away from my phone the time because I knew where I would go. I would end up checking the internet and torture myself once more with what I was about to find related to Baekhyun, Ara, and Paris. It was hard trying to act normal in front of everyone in the house, especially with my cousin.  Her eyes were also a bit puffy and I just knew why she cried. I also couldn’t show any form of weakness in front of her, afraid that she might break down and cry in front of her parents. The last thing I would want to happen was Auntie finding out about the scandal.

No. Not now. I just couldn’t deal with another issue right now.
I couldn’t promise just how long I’d be able to keep a straight face and hold everything in.

  

*.☽.*

6:19 PM

I was at the shop the whole afternoon, helping out Auntie. I desperately needed to distract myself and I didn’t know what else to do aside from it. I kept spacing out the entire time, I even gave a wrong order a couple of times which led Auntie to ask me if I was indeed feeling well. I lied, telling her that I was fine and it was probably because I didn’t get enough sleep last night. She told me to go back inside the house to take a rest but I insisted to stay until I broke a whole vase of roses.

“Oh my god Auntie, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Let me fix this.” I panicked, realizing what I had just done.

“Hae Won, it’s fine. Just go ahead, I’ll take care of it.” She replied as she attempted to help me out.

I, on the other hand, hurriedly picked a piece of the broken vase without giving it much thought and ended up wounding myself with it. I winced at the pain and rattled more when I saw blood dripping my finger.

Crap.

“No Auntie.” I protested politely as I tried to hide what happened to my finger. “I’ll be the one to clean this up. It’s my fault. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me today.” I rambled, ignoring the first wound I had until I got the second one.

“Hae Won.” I heard Auntie call, probably noticing how I already hurt myself, but I ignored her knowing she’d end up asking me to go inside again.

“Auntie I’m fine.” I stood as I noticed two of my fingers bleeding already. “Let me just go get band-aids for these.” I reasoned out breathlessly and was walking towards the cabinet when Auntie spoke once more.

“Someone’s here.” She informed me and I stopped on my feet right away.

I instantly felt nervous as I indeed felt somebody else’s presence inside the shop.

I slowly turned around to face the entrance of the shop and almost held my breath when I found him standing a few feet away from me. I swallowed, meeting his eyes right after he removed his bucket hat. When his eyes left mine, I saw how his attention fell to my bleeding hand.

I had forgotten about him coming here.

“B-baekhyun.” Aunt Sunny said, breaking the silence between us.

Snapping out of my thoughts, I rattled as I turned around to proceed to look for band-aids, which I couldn’t find.

“Mrs. Lee, is it okay if I take her out?” I heard Baekhyun asking her permission.

My heartbeat raced as I anticipated Auntie’s answer. For some reason, I was hoping for her to say no since I wasn’t sure if I was ready to talk to him.

“Uh, yes. Of course, Baekhyun.” She answered hesitantly.

I tilted my head down in defeat. I didn’t glance at him nor even moved a muscle until I felt him stand right behind me. I didn’t say anything though I knew that he was waiting for me to speak and face him.

“Let me help you with that.” He offered as he moved closer and attempted to check my bleeding hand.

“No.” I protested quickly, stepping a foot away from him. “I have to clean the mess I made first. Why don’t you just go wait for me in the car?” I added, avoiding any eye contact as I walked away to find something to use to clean the floor.

I heard him sigh gloomily right where he was standing.

“Hae Won.” Aunt Sunny intercepted. “Leave it.” There was an absolute demand in her tone, causing me to immediately wonder why.

I turned to her and found her attention glued on the T