Characters : Cha Eunwoo & Moon Bin

Have you ever been to a movie with someone you like so damn much, and you can't show it? Worst, you can let that person knows it?

Welcome to my life.

I'm Moonbin, just adult enough to know what I want and who I want. Also, adult enough to understand it's not a good idea. Not here, not now. Why did I fell in love with my best friend when he's not interested in guys ? I guess he's cute and dreamy. He's tall but somehow fragile. I guess I like him because he is kinda feminine? I don't know, I try to make it easier for my brain. I never thought I would like guys.

Anyhow, every Friday, Eunwoo and I go to see a movie. He suggested a romantic movie tonight, I winced first as I wasn't sure it was a good idea. I mean, two guys going to a romantic movie... No? Is it just me? People will talk, no?

Okay, maybe it's just me.

The movie was cute. Eunwoo smiled like a child next to me. I knew he would like that. Under that cute face was an eternal romantic. If only were were a girl, if only I would fit his standard — then I would make him so happy.

At the end of the movie, we walked home, we had mask on our face, of course. Otherwise, people could notice us. We talked about the movie and stuff in general. At some point, Eunwoo asked me this question.

-Why aren't you with a girl Binnie?

I sighed. I smiled at him, somehow ashamed.

-I'm just not interested right now. Why aren't you? You're popular right now. You should have someone.

My heart was hurting while looking at him. He was strangely serious.

-Should I?

I smiled more trying to look like a puppy. I'm not sure if it looked fake or not, but my heart was dying. I never saw Eunwoo with a girlfriend — but I knew he had before, when he was younger. We are busy, it's difficult to see someone when you are an idol.

But he was really popular right now. Like, you have no idea. Every time we go on TV show with other idol, girl asked him out or ask for him phone number. But he always refused.

-What if I'm already interested in someone?

My heart died more. Oh. So he liked someone. Of course, he would. He's a man, a full-grown adult. He can love whoever he wants. But a part of me shout “why not me?”

-Then you should tell her. I'm sure she likes you.

Eunwoo looked away a moment. Was he thinking about her? How he would confess? Maybe.

-I don't know, I think it's too dangerous.

I frowned, then laughed.

-Are you serious? How can you say something like that when every woman in Korea is at your feet? It's too dangerous my . You have a 100% chance it goes as you wish.

Eunwoo stayed silent and serious while looking at me. I sighed. Right, he was too intelligent for his own good. He's thinking too much. Every possible scenario.

-Stop thinking and act. You won't be gorgeous all your life — oh wait, maybe. With that face of yours.

I laughed loudly as I saw my friend blushing. I knew he would react like this. He is always blushing when I tell him he's beautiful or gorgeous. Probably because he doesn't like it — coming from me.
Eunwoo looked around, then stop moving. He slowly grabbed my wrist, bringing me somewhere more silent with nobody around.

-H-how do... I.... You know.

He was still touching me. I didn't say much as Eunwoo was always affectionate to me and the others. Plus, I liked it.

-What? You never confess to a girl? Didn't you told me you had girlfriend before?

He looked away, biting his lips.

-I... I did. But I never had to... People come to me, usually.

I smiled, what would I give to have that face and those opportunities.

-Did she told you she liked you?
-Ani. Not clearly. I'm not sure.

I looked away. Why was I doing that already? Why was I helping him to get a girl? Then it will hurt me...

-Do I know her?

Eunwoo winced. I knew that face. She's probably someone near of us. Someone I know.

-Who is it? You can't stay silent now. Tell me, I'll help you.
-Ani, I can't.
-Wae?

I frowned.

-It's not my sister, is it?

I quickly pushed him, playing around. He laughed amused.

-Ani, ani. I wouldn't do that to you, Binnie.
-You better. Even if she has the same gene as me, she's off limit.

Eunwoo smiled, looking shy at me.

-Just tell her, hyung. Nothing wrong will happen. I guaranty you.
-But, what do I say? I- I like you? I kept dr-dreaming about you? I'm lost.

I smiled sadly at my friend. Eunwoo had rarely trouble speaking. He must like her a lot if he was acting like this.

-Ne.

Eunwoo looked at the floor, kept silent a moment, then looked at me seriously.

-I... I like you. A lot.

He stayed still. I blinked as my heart started to race. My head knew he was practicing but my heart was hoping so bad it was true.
As Eunwoo stayed silent, I finally smile, trying to make him feel comfortable.

-It will be fine.

Eunwoo blinked, then looked away.

-Tell her the next time you see her okay?

He finally smiled, but somehow it was different. Almost as he was sad. Maybe he was afraid? Afraid of telling her he liked her? I don't understand that man. If it was me, I would use that privilege a LOT.

We walked home, Eunwoo kept silent. I pushed him gently at home, smiling at him.
He stayed still a moment, then talked back.

-What do I do if the person is not interested?
-She will. And if she says no, she's the one loosing. I would stop the relation with her if it hurts too much. But you'll be fine. Don't worry.

I touched his shoulder.

-Are you that worried?
-A-ani... I need to sleep. I'll just... Yeah.

Eunwoo walked to our shared bedroom. I took off my shoes and went to the living room. He was acting strange, but it was late. Maybe it's just that.

Next morning, I woke up alone in the bedroom. I'm used to this, Eunwoo wake up early.
I walked to the kitchen like a zombie, only to find Sanha trying to cook something.

-What are you doing? Why aren't you eating hyung's food?

Eunwoo usually prepared a meal for all of us.
Sanha looked at me, frowning.

-There's nothing. I have to go to school. Hyung, can you prepare me something? I don't know what I did but the rice it... Doesn't look good.

I looked at his bowl. The rice was full of water and as red as Eunwoo's lips.
I laughed.

-You know I can't cook Sanha. Just take a lunch in the fridge for today. You'll be fine.

He stormed out of the dorm when he saw the time. I looked around, surprised that Eunwoo didn't cook anything. I mean, it's not his job of course. But he usually does it every morning. I started to wonder where he was and noticed his shoes weren't there.
I guess he's away to his solo activity. Maybe he had commercial or a TV show I didn't know? Remember I told you he was popular? Well he goes everywhere too. Every TV show ask for him. Every radio show too. They all want a piece of the gorgeous Cha Eunwoo.

I'm truly happy for him, but I wished I had more contract too. How can I impress him when I'm second after him?

At noon, our manager called me.

-Have you see Eunwoo this morning?

I frowned. It was a strange question.

-Ani, wae?
-He was supposed to be here an hour ago. Did you guys fought?
-What? No, no we didn't. Everything's the same. What do you mean he's not there?
-He is usually so punctual. I didn't want to worry but as you, his best friend, don't know where he is... And he doesn't answer his own cellphone.

Moonbin started to worry, a lot. What if something had happened to his Eunwoo? What if he was hurt? I don't even want to think about it.

-I'll go around and look for him. If I find him, I'll let you know.
-Thank you Moonbin.

I searched for him all day long. I called him maybe 150 times. Every time I reached the voicemail.

-Hyung, where are you? We are worried. Heck I worry. Are you okay? Please call me back, arasso? As soon as you hear my message. Okay? Right now.

At 8PM I wanted to cry as we still didn't have news from him. Jinjin, Rocky, MJ and Sanha helped us too as soon as they knew about Eunwoo disappearance.

At 11PM, Eunwoo opened our front door, walked silently to our bedroom and closed the door. He seemed darker than usual. We all stayed silent as we were astonished by his attitude. Why did he ignore us all day long? I called our manager to tell him he was back.

Jinjin asked me to go talk to Eunwoo, as I was the closest to him. I sighed.

I opened the door, then closed it back behind me.
Eunwoo was on his back, eyes closed, arms crossed. He seemed tired, somehow sad and moody.

-Hyung, did... Did you get my phone calls? We looked for you all day long.

I walked closer to him. He hid his eyes while frowning.

-Let me alone please Binnie.

I stayed still. Why was he like that? He was usually so cheerful. Something must have happened.
Oh. Yesterday he told me he might... Oh.

-Did she refused to go out with you?

Eunwoo turned around, facing the wall.
So that's why. She said no to my Eunwoo? What a .

-She doesn't deserve you hyung. You're too perfect-

He cut me.

-Binnie, please. Stop. I want to stay alone for now. Just leave.

I sighed.

-Just know that I'm here for you.

I walked away as he wasn't talking anymore. My blood was boiling. How can someone refuse Eunwoo's love? He's such a perfect man.
The four others looked at me when I got out. I can't tell them, it's Eunwoo's privacy.

-What is wrong?
-Where was he?
-So?

They all talked at the same time. I pushed them gently.

-He'll be okay.

The manager opened the front door, looking as worried as I was few minutes ago.

Jinjin told him Eunwoo was in his room. He got inside and closed the door.
We heard the manager speaking for a while, telling him he shouldn't disappear and contractual stuff.
I felt bad for my friend. He probably had the worst day of his life.

I went to bed later that night. Eunwoo was still looking at the wall — either sleeping or ignoring me. I guess I understand him. I hope tomorrow will be better.

It wasn't. Eunwoo started to ignore me. Like, really me. He talked to everybody else, but when I talked, he stopped talking or changed room. It hurt me, of course. Why was he acting like that?

Jinjin asked me if I did something to him. I wasn't able to answer his question. I don't think I did. Did I?

He ignored me for two weeks. My mood went down quickly as my best friend wasn't talking to me and I didn't know why. I asked him if he wanted to go see a movie on one Friday. He frowned so much, I didn't wait for an answer and went away.

Next Sunday we had a fan meeting. I was worried he would act like this with me in front of the fans. They would notice something was wrong and rumors would start. It might affect Eunwoo's popularity.

I sat in our bus first, waiting for the others to join us. We usually sit at the same place and Eunwoo was next to me. I was happy I could be near of him, even if it was only for few minutes.
MJ and Rocky sat at the back as usual. Jinjin at the front. Two places left.
I saw Eunwoo walking to the bus, looking at the floor. We walked inside and quickly sat next to Jinjin.

My heart hurt even more. Why was he acting like this? Did he know it hurt me?
Sanha appeared, frowning.

-Hyung, you took my place. I'm usually next to Jinjin hyung.

Eunwoo didn't look at him, keep looking at the floor. Jinjin sighed.

-Just sit with Binnie for today okay?

Sanha grunted and sat next to me. It wasn't the best trip ever as Sanha was saying how much he disliked his place. But worst was the feeling my heart and head was feeling. It felt like I was abandoned by my lover. Even if he wasn't.

I really wonder what I did so wrong. Is it because I told him to confess? Is it something else? I don't remember what else I said. Is Eunwoo that childish? It's not my fault if a girl rejected you.

At destination, Sanha got off first, followed by MJ and Rocky. Eunwoo got off, followed by Jinjin who took his arm. I took my time to get off as I wasn't really in the mood for anything.
Jinjin grabbed my wrist and bring me next to Eunwoo.

-Look, I don't know what happened between you two. But I can't let you act this way in front of the fans. They will notice it. Talk, fake it, act it, I don't care. Just be as usual or more. I don't want a negative attitude there understood?

Eunwoo said yes in a second. I st