IT’S CURRENTLY LUNCH TIME and I’m in Yuxi’s house. Why, you may ask? I’m still pissed with a certain system of my university and I want to rant more about it. But Xiao Gui doesn’t really give a for any of it.

I also haven’t showered yet and I can’t shower in his place. There’s no girls undergarment there, like absolutely. Also, my apartment’s key is still at the female’s dressing room and.... basically, I’m lazy.

Xiao Gui turned to had messed up with the due date of the extracurricular sign-up session. Yes, it’s due tomorrow, but it’s on 00.00 AM to be exact.

Dude.

Anyways, I’m aware that I should do some research first.

Thus, research + rant about it + shower + girls undergarments = Yuxi.

---

“Ok... so you want to sign to any group that doesn’t require too much work and attendance?” It does sound ridiculous, I know. But what’s more ridiculous is how she looks hella serious while saying all that.

I nod.

“YEAAAAAAYY!!!!!!!”

Her scream hits my ears like a softball stick thrown by some huge softball players trying to annoy someone because they’re way too fired up by their loud coach and possibly some great nutritious breakfasts they had in the morning. Guess I need to eat that kind of breakfast to have more energy in life. I’m very dizzy and about to cry.

I rub my precious ears while muttering, “Next time you want to scream; please, scream any further from my ears. I value them, you know. They’re one of singer’s essential assets.”

She cutely gasps.

She reaches out for my hand and puts it right on her chest—the upper part, chill. “I’m sorry, jie.... and, sure, I can promise you that!”

Sometimes I do contemplate about whether she’s heteroual or not. Well, please be that because I am [I think] and that’s the only thing that keeps me ok with you doing this.

She’s grinning very widely—and very pretty, by the way.

I chuckle uneasily, and I use this chance to take my hand back.

Still grinning, she continues, “I’m just so excited because I had the same mindset in my first year!”

Wow..... I came to the right person.

“Ok... I’m actually touched, like really touched, because the last person I met today told me to just accept and live with it.” I press my lips, and twitch my nose, eyes, forehead—basically everything on my face—in anger. “How annoying, right?” I purse my lips.

But she’s giggling to that. Ok, I’m legit shivering.

“W-wait, why are you giggling?”

Please don’t say you like me, please don’t........ I don’t want to end this amazing mutual relationship we got—re: friendship.

“No, this isn’t really related to that, hehe...” She scratches her head. “I just find it funny that guessing who’s the person you’re talking about is way too easy.” She’s trying to hold her laughter and it’s pretty intense; she’s her own lips.

“You and Xiao Gui gege had a fight, right?”

“OMG, funny and cute at the same time!”

I don’t like the way she addresses us like a couple here, but I do like the fact that she doesn’t show any jealousy... at all.

Yay to not having to end this relationship of ours—I mean, friendship.

“Well.... a fight happens when both parties think that it is a fight.”

“—he’s so chill about it, fyi.”

“Tell me more about it!”

Ah... I don’t want to bring myself to that memory. My unconscious knows that he’s not the crazy—I mean bad—party, but me, somehow.

I shake my head.

But she replies in a soccer supporter’s tone, “Tell me more! Tell me more! Tell me more!”

“Alright...” I release a really deep breath. “—but you’re going to be so down because it really wasn’t a fight. This is the disclaimer.”

My eyes were so fixed on my phone, Uber app; because he’s been asking me this for the nth time already. “So, have you decided about your picks yet?”

Gah.

I was busy thinking about places I should go next and their pros and cons. You know, I left my key at the campus and stuff.

“Nope.”

“Well... I’ll be in soccer and basketball, or probably badminton. Just saying.”

“Good for you.” I rolled my eyes.

A bit envious with how he’s able to enjoy all these things and remain... happy.

“Is there seriously no way to not attend any group?”

“Hmm... easy.” I started to see some hope here, for a brief moment.

But then he added, “Just don’t graduate.”

“ you.” Man, I was rude. “I mean, the person, and the rule.”

“It’s weird that you find every group annoying. I thought you would favor the choir, traditional dance, traditional music, or maybe orchestra group.”

I lowkey don’t know any of the groups that are and aren’t in our university.

“You’re not even in those you mentioned. Let me ask you too, then.” I sigh. “So, why?”

“Umm... they’re just, not my style. I guess—”

“Well, let me also have the same reason, ok?”

“Besides, I don’t like the idea of adding more things to my to-do-list. I have work shifts and they’re already too much for me.”

I need some time to play my sims because... they might die in hunger without me, and that’s going to be really sad.

—yea yea, I should stop making things up.

“So, it’s related to your hand.”

No, not really, to be very honest.....

Wait, maybe it is.

But I for real didn’t think about my hand at first. Thanks for reminding me that, though. Now I finally have a good not-non-sensical reason.

“What are you doing?” He snatches my phone away from my hand.

“Wait, you’re still with the Uber thing? I told you, I’ll drive you there!” His tone rises again.

After a brief silence—he’s probably thinking, he sighs. “You can actually save some of your money, right? If you’re going with me, instead...”

Ok, I was starting to consider his offer.. no, get a hold of yourself, Liu Boxin. He’s done too many things for you; driving and even lifting your stupid here and there, and not to mention, you were a lot of work—aka you went crazy last night. Thus, I can’t and shouldn’t bother him anymore.

“Are you sure you’re leaving? You haven’t even checked on all the groups, and the sign-up session ends at 00.00.”

“WHAT??!” My eyes go really wide.

“Why didn’t you tell me that earlier?”

“W-well....” He gulps. “—you didn’t ask?”

Great. And this was exactly the moment where Yuxi popped into my mind.

“So... why don’t you want to stay here for a few more minutes? Or maybe hours?”

“I can show you stuff.”

I haven’t showered, brushed my teeth, changed clothes, even though I think I don’t smell bad; meanwhile he looks hella awesome and fresh, and he smells really good—I feel crazily inferior.

Now you see who’s crazy here.

“Hold on, jie. Are you always like this to him?”

“What do you mean?”

“Like... he’s been sending you some obvious signals but you just brushed him off?”

“Eh?”

“WHY JIE? WHYYYY??!”

“I thought you guys are already together.” Her eyes are staring at my whole body; starting from head to toe. Stop, girl, I’ve started to shiver again.

Wait, it’s more likely that she’s straight. Remember why you offered yourself to help “monitoring” her locker on Valentine’s day.

“The clothes..” She points at my shirt. “The kissing footage, the everything.... I don’t get it. How is it possible that—”

“Wait, WHAT?? Kissing footage?”

“My Gosh, jie, you haven’t seen that?” She grabs her phone and shows me something. “This went viral yesterday.”

. My wigs are seriously snatched.

“G-glad it’s only a photo..”

If it’s a full footage video, then it’s going to be nearly —and I’ll cry.

“I think... it’s hard to tell that these are me and Xiao Gui.. hehe.” I mentally believe in that.

“About that, jie... actually, a lot of girls had posted the video of you two dancing at the stage; since he’s like the crush of so many people.”

“—and it also went viral really fast because you both look like you want to eat each other there, in an way, I think.”

.

“This is even more ty than our previous website.. ty s.”

“Excuse my language.”

“Y-yeah... I’m sorry, jie.”

“Speaking of which, I assume you both aren’t official yet now? But, why?”

Why does everything have to always have a why?

Besides, me and Xiao Gui are just... partners. I’m not even sure that I can call him my friend, because he never says that I’m his friend, right?

My memory is pretty bad and I do have insecurity issues.

“Look. I don’t know. Maybe... maybe I just don’t like having any expectation on anyone.” Wait, really? That sounds morbid.

“But he clearly likes you... like, a lot! So, why are you doubting him?”

“I don’t think he likes me.” My brains believe that my confidence in attracting people have died with me, three years ago.

“It’s normal that he danced his heart out and even kissed me there. I wore an insanely inviting outfit.” His outfit was also inviting to me, so... I can relate.

“Geez. Why are you still denying things?”

“I’m not denying anything.” This is getting annoying, Yuxi.

“You heard me right, he doesn’t like me.”

She furrows her eyebrows—clearly, she’s still not on the same boat with me.

“Ok, maybe he did, but only for a while, that night; because of the outfit.”

“It’s not like what you’re thinking, ok? Are we clear?”

“JIEE! Please!”

”Stop forcing yourself to unsee everything. Give him a chance, give your heart a chance!” Stop it, you sound even more ridiculous!

“I... I didn’t didn’t give him a chance, you know.” Wait, that doesn’t make sense. “I mean, I didn’t do anything about it, and.. we’re cool with that.”

“Are you currently stuck in the “oblivious” mode, which you yourself established in the past? And that you’re now unable to detect his feelings?”

“Come on... I can’t continue this talk.”

“You shouldn’t do this to yourself, jie.. you deserve to be happy. No matter how hard the past hit you, you need to stand back and live your life happily.”

“No, Yuxi... listen. We actually had a little heart-to-heart talk about it today. I think. But, I do remember it clearly that he said he doesn’t like someone like me.”

“WHAT?”