August

“Are you ready to go Jonghyun?” His mother called. 

Jonghyun sat on his bed staring at the empty walls and cardboard boxes he had yet to take downstairs. 

“I guess so Mom.” He whispered lowly. He gave her a weak smile.

“Okay, once you bring the last of your things we’ll be ready.” His mother said trying to sound some-what cheery.

He saw his mother walk away from his door from the corner of his eye.

He took one last look at his room, even though there wasn’t much to look at. His posters were gone and his cluttered clothes were picked up and put away.

He had lived here since he was born.

But since his parents decided to divorce he would have to make somewhere else his home.

He was about to pick up the last of his things to take them downstairs when he heard his sister bang on his door.

“Hurry up. We’ve been waiting on you for like an hour.” She said obviously annoyed.

“Get the hell out of my room.” He sighed. 

She rolled her eyes before she spoke.

“It’s not your room anymore remember?” She spat before she walked off.

Junghee was his twin sister. And they hated each other.

Their relationship had been tense for years, almost starting at the same time his parents relationships became strained.

And Junghee had it engraved in her mind that Jonghyun was sole reason their parents divorced and she wasn’t afraid to voice it.

They fought so much and said such vile words to each other that if they hadn’t looked alike no one would think they were siblings but instead just enemies.

Jonghyun didn’t believe in violence but there had been numerous occasions where they had almost gotten into fist fights. 

Those weren’t his proudest moments.

But his sister was the devil.

It didn’t help that they both had a favorite parent too.

Jonghyun was a mama’s boy and Junghee was a daddy’s girl. So you could imagine her anger when they found out their parents were divorcing and they were moving out with their mother.

His sister and mother’s relationship was strained as much as his was with his father.

His sister was rebellious and brash. The complete opposite of their quiet and calm mother. Their mother was what you would call a free spirit whereas Junghee was more materialistic. He was more like his mother. Junghee always argued with their mom and was spoiled by their father (at least in his opinion she was). He was the only person in the house she would listen to. 

Jonghyun and his father didn’t get along for different reasons.

He came out to his parents years ago. His mother was accepting and told him she loved him no matter what. His father said the same thing but he could tell this was when a rift in their relationship started. Even before then he and his father didn’t have the best relationship and he wasn’t sure why. They were complete opposites too. His father would always criticize him and judge him on certain things. It became annoying and intolerable over the years. He had his breaking point with him when he brought his boyfriend over to meet them for the first time and his father made a rude and inappropriate remark. 

After that their relationship was even worse. 

His house was barely peaceful. Someone was always arguing. He saw how stressed and upset his mother had became and had long and serious talks with her.

When the topic of her considering divorcing his father he gave her his full support. 

This was one reason why Junghee blamed him for separating them. 

He knew he was one of the many reason they were divorcing, but he wasn’t the sole reason. And it was mostly because his mother and father argued about how his father treated him. But they also argued over how Junghee treated their mother. More issues came with them drifting apart emotionally and having different ideals as years went by. He wasn’t sure but he thought his mother hinted at his fathers infidelity but he couldn’t be completely sure.  

It was numerous reason why they wanted to divorce. It wasn’t his fault as his sister thought.

If his parents were unhappy why would he want them to stay together? And honestly he was happy that he was moving away from his father.

He was tired of being berated by him. 

And now he could feel more comfortable about bringing Kibum over. His mother loved his boyfriend so he knew it wouldn’t be a problem. 

He was hoping that this would bring him and his younger boyfriend closer together as well as his new home would be a safe place for them to act as a couple. 

Kibum’s parents didn’t even know he was gay so he couldn’t act freely at home.

Unfortunately though he had been feeling a bit of a rift between the two lately as well. 

And it was hurting him inside. 

After what he was going through with his father and sister he couldn’t afford to loose Kibum right now. He needed his love and support more than ever.

He knew his boyfriend had been struggling with his uality and accepting himself whereas he had been out for years and learn to love himself years ago.

Kibum always expressed his discomfort with himself. 

It hurt to hear what he thought about himself because did that mean he thought the same about him too? 

Even though he wasn’t accepting of himself he couldn’t deny his affection and longing for Jonghyun so he gave into his desires and they started dating a few months ago but they’ve known each other for years. You could say Jonghyun fell for him almost the moment they met. But he couldn’t tell him that yet.

They had  just became best friends at the time, until he finally decided he needed to tell him his true feelings. 

Saying that Jonghyun was whipped was an understatement. He did just about any and everything for him even before they started dating.

He remembered how happy he was when Kibum came out to him. This meant he had a chance. But of course their relationship didn’t come without problems.

They had only been dating for nearly four months as he just confessed to him in early May when summer started. It wasn’t until June when they started dating. Their relationship started very slow and tedious, it was almost painful.

It’s hard expressing his love for him when he feels like Kibum doesn’t feel the same. He was always paranoid he would be caught by his parents so they were hardly intimate unless Kibum felt he was in a safe place.

He sighed at the thought.

He didn’t know how long it would take for his boyfriend to fully accept himself. 

He had always heard it was hard loving someone when they didn’t even love themselves. But he was too selfish to give him up.

“Jjong!” His mother called again.

He spaced out for too long.

“Coming mom!” He said grabbing his things.

He settle his things in his own car and was ready to pull off when his mother stopped him.

She walked up to his car and signaled for him to roll down the window. 

“Say goodbye to your father.” His mother whispered.

Jonghyun frowned.

His father was standing in the front porch as Junghee hugged him and cried in his arms. He rolled his eyes.

He wasn’t planning on getting out the car.

“No, thank you.” He said.

“Kim Jonghyun!” His mother huffed.

He grumbled to himself.

“Uhg! Oh my-BYE DAD!” He yelled from his car window and immediately rolled it up afterwards.

His mother looked very displeased with his goodbye and glared at him through the window. He shrugged shoulders.

His father was still comforting Junghee but gave a small wave towards his direction.

Both of their goodbyes weren’t motivated.

But if his father didn’t have to try why should he?

He had to wait to pull off because his mother was going to drive in front of him to lead the way as she knew the new way to their new place. He sat in his car and waited for his signal to leave.

As he waited he picked up his phone and saw he received a message from his boyfriend. When he read it his heart sunk.

The message was explaining to him how he had to cancel their plans tomorrow.

He hadn’t seen Kibum outside of school in almost week because of his family issues. 

He really missed him and wanted to see him.

After what had been going on he really needed his comfort and support.  

But he guessed Kibum couldn’t give that to him right now.