November 11th

Kibum’s back was forced up against a random locker. He held his head down as he let a few students taunt him, yet again.

A few students from last time had found him and corned him on his way to class. For a few weeks Kibum was able to steer clear, aside from the usual name calling here and there. They didn’t dare approach him when he was with either Jonghyun or Taemin, so sometimes he made sure to stick to them in the hallways when he could. They didn’t even bother him with Jinki either, as he was older than them and was their senior. 

But today he wasn’t as lucky.

He was on his way to class that was on the other side of the school. The regular students that bothered him started picking on him, but this time not daring to lay in a hand on him like last time. Instead they surround him and spat mean words. The ring leader this time was someone who was he was...very familiar with.

“He’s all alone this time, look at him! He’s shaking. Why are you so scared Kibum-ah? No one’s going to hurt you this time.We don't want your boyfriends to come beat us up.” Their ring leader poked at him. She laughed as her fellow classmates hyped her up and helped egg her on.

Kibum rolled his eyes.

“Oh, you have an attitude?” She questioned with such authority in her voice.

“You should learn to treat your Hyung’s and Noona’s with respect.” She said poking her index finger at his forehead. 

Kibum grimaced. He balled his fist up at his side and flicked her hand to the side when she touched him.

“He’s scared of a girl!” One of the boys yelled standing behind her said.

Kibum wished he was more brave. He wanted to tell her off, but he couldn’t. It wasn’t because he was scared, but because of who she was. 

“Ya.” The ring leader said sternly.

“Don’t touch me again.” She said baffled at the fact that Kibum tried to move her hand out of his face.

“Then don’t touch me.” Kibum dared to say.

At this the ring leader glared at him and looked him up and down as if she was sizing him up. He wouldn’t lie, she was a bit intimidating. But he tried his best to stand his ground. She continued to look him over until she saw something shiney on his finger. She sneered.

“What’s this?” She cheered. She quickly grabbed Kibum’s wrist and snatched the ring from Kibum’s finger looking at it to see if it fit.

“It’s so pretty!” She said.

Kibum panicked.

“Ya! Junghee, give it back!” Kibum said panicking.

Said girl gave him a scary look.

“What did you just call me?” She said angrily.

“I mean N-noona, please, g-give it back...” he said loosing a bit of confidence the longer she stared him down.

He made an action to reach for it when one of her guys friends step forward to intimidate him, something he always did if Kibum so much as made a rebuttal or retaliate. 

“That’s what I thought. I like this. I’ll hold on to it for a bit.” She said trying the ring on and smiling as her friends complimented her. 

She paid Kibum no mind as she started to walk off while laughing with her friends.

“And remember!” Jungheee said spinning around. “This...is our little secret. Just between me and you.” She said as she put her finger to her lip signaling to ‘hush’. She spun around and disappeared around the corner with her friends.

Junghee took his promise ring Jonghyun gave him, and she knew he gave it to him.

He was crushed. 

Junghee and her friends had been pestering him for a few weeks.  He wanted to tell Jonghyun but with all the problems the two siblings had between each other, he just knew this would strain their relationship even more. He didn’t want to add extra drama in his life right now. He couldn’t do that to him. 

His eyes watered as he wanted to cry. Jonghyun gave him that promise ring for his birthday, he treasured it deeply. Now he lost it because he was so cowardly. 

Why wasn’t Kibum brave enough? 

Why couldn’t he stand up for himself? 

Why was he so weak? 

-

Kibum’s eyes were fixated on the huge movie theatre screen in front of him. The popcorn in his lap sat untouched as he was so fixed on the brightly colored screen. The pitch dark theatre in contrast with the screen strained his eye’s a bit, but he wasn’t going to let that stop him from enjoying himself. He couldn’t remember the last time he came to movie theatre unsupervised by his parents.

His concentration was broken when he felt a warm hand squeezing his thigh. He flicked the hand away and mumbled a soft “stop”. But not even thirty seconds later he felt the hand back on his thigh again.

“Jjong, stop. I’m trying to watch.” He hissed turning his attention back to the screen. 

Jonghyun proceeded to poke Kibum’s cheek. He cut his eyes at him just to see Jonghyun pouting with big eyes.

“Give me a kiss.” He whispered.

Kibum rolled his eyes.

Kibum knew Jonghyun used going to the movies as a way for the two make out.

The usually sat all the way in the back where most people didn’t sit, and when they were the only people towards the back, and when it wasn’t packed is when Jonghyun was bold and tried to make moves on him.

The theatre this time happen to be empty with a few people sprinkled here and there. Jonghyun tried to pick a movie that wasn’t super popular, so he knew many people wouldn’t be there. But Kibum didn’t expect to actually be interested in the movie.

Kibum huffed and gave him a quick peck to his lips.

Before he could pull away fully his boyfriend grabbed his chin.He was frowning.

“More.” He said childishly.

Kibum knew he wasn’t going to leave him alone unless he spoiled him with some kisses. He took some time to give Jonghyun his attention and kisses, forgetting about the movie for a few minutes. When he felt like Jonghyun was satisfied he saw him set back with a huge grin on his face. He intertwined their fingers and he laid his head on his older boyfriends shoulders as he continued to watch the movie. Such dark places like this allowed him to feel more comfortable to do such things.

It was rare when the two were able to give each other affection. So when they could get it Jonghyun would become greedy for more. 

If they were in Kibum’s home it was an automatic ‘no’.

The were lucky when they went to Jonghyun’s house sometimes, but his mother would often pop in to check on them. And if he tried to sneak Kibum in without permission, Junghee would snitch. Aside from that Kibum’s parents would hardly allow him to go out too often.

So the two tried to cherish the time they had time together when they could.

Kibum felt especially guilty after he had been avoiding Jonghyun so much. It was an emotional time in Jonghyun’s life right now and he needed support, he needed him. He knew had been slacking in the boyfriend department, he was bad at confronting confrontation.

Jonghyun had practically begged to spend time with him, and Kibum’s parents finally let go of the leash they had around his neck for today.

The spent more time in the dark theatre cuddling, kissing, and holding hands until the movie was done. When the reach outside they reluctantly released their hands and stood facing each other.

“What do you want to do now? We still have some time left.” Jonghyun said smiling sweetly. 

Kibum’s parents had given him permission to finally have a social life again and hang out with Jonghyun for half the day. 

Kibum hummed and thought about other plans they could partake in.

“How about we go to my place? My mom isn’t home. And Junghee is at my dad’s...” His boyfriend suggested.

Kibum shook his head no frantically. He didn’t want to be anywhere near anything that had to do with Junghee after what happened a few days ago. Plus he didn’t want to chance her possibly coming home early.

“Why not? We could have some privacy...” He said biting his lip hoping Kibum would say yes.

“I-I rather be out and about. I have been cooped up in my room for weeks, I don’t want to be cooped up in your’s as well.” He said trying to come up with a good excuse.

“Fair enough.” He sighed.

“Besides you shouldn’t even be out anyway.” Kibum glared. 

Jonghyun took this opportunity to sneak out. His mom was angry with him because of what happen at his family dinner a few days ago. He wasn’t exactly on punishment, but he’s mom had a habit of saying ‘no’ to him lately, so he didn’t even bother to ask for permission.

“She won’t be back for a few hours anyway. She’ll never know.” He shrugged.

Kibum could only sigh to that. 

The two tried to brainstorm more ideas when the conversation came to a pause when Kibum ran a hand through his hair and Jonghyun noticed something off.

“Bummie, where’s your ring?”

The question rang around in Kibum’s head. He wore his ring everyday since he got it, so he knew Jonghyun would notice he didn’t have it eventually. 

He couldn’t tell him he left it at home, because then this meant he would have to ‘find’ it to wear it again.

“Do you...not like it?” Jonghyun said trying not to sound hurt.

“No! No, Jjong that’s not it!” He hung his head down.

“I...l-lost it. I’m so sorry. Please don’t hate me.” He said defeated.

Jonghyun reached forward for a innocent looking hug.

“It’s okay. I’ll just buy you a new one, yea?” He said.

“Jjong, no! That ring was expensive. I knew you saved up so long for it and I lost it like a dummy...” 

“Don’t say that. It’s okay. I can save up again.” 

Jonyhyun. got money from his mom from doing chores or running errands or favors for his neighbors. He was young and his mother didn’t want him working to much yet as she wanted him to focus on school, but Jonghyun wanted some of his own money (which he spent mostly on video games and for dates with Kibum).

“How about we find some cheap couple bracelets instead?” 

Jonghyun frowned. He knew the ring had way more meaning than 50 cent toy bracelets that he was referring to. But he didn’t want him to waste money buying another ring.

“If it makes you happy.” He sighed.

“Let’s go. We can find one downtown. And then maybe we can go to the park or a puppy cafe!” Kibum cheered. 

Jonghyun smiled back and nodded. He wanted to do whatever made him happy.

Seeing Jonghyun sad and defeated always had an effect on Kibum. He hated seeing him like this. And with everthing going on in his life right now he just wanted to be the one try to brighten up his day. But he felt like a failure each time.

-

The school had called Kibum’s parents the day of the fight to let them know he was a victim of bullying. They only alerted his parents the names of the students that bullied him. When he’s parents asked who he was fighting he said he did not know any of the people involved, so he was lucky enough to not have to admit that Jonghyun and Taemin were involved. If he’s parents knew something like that they would not allow him to be friends with them anymore. The last thing he really wanted was for his friends and Jonghyun, especially, to fall out of his parents good grace’s.

His parents were aware of him being bullied because he was accused of being gay. His parents scolding him telling him how homouality would not be allowed in their house. 

But of course they would reprimand him instead of comforting him. 

He assured them that he wasn’t gay and that people just decided target him. But he would soon realize his parents were not convinced enough. He saw that that explaination did nothign to ease their minds. Especially his father, he was old fashioned and always told Kibum to “act like a man”.

He was sitting at the dinner table with his parents. It was quiet as usual with his parents having small chit chat here and there.

He saw his parents give each other a swift look before they spoke.

“Kibum.” His father called sternly. 

“Yes, father?” Kibum said. He was a little nervous because he wasn’t sure what they wanted to talk about.

“Your mother and I want you to meet someone.” He said simply.

“Okay?” He assumed it was a church thing.

“You know Nicole? The Jung’s daughter? They just transferred to our church here in Seoul last month.” 

Kibum nodded. He vaguely remembered who they were talking about. Kibum knew almost everyone in his church, he had been going there since he was a baby. But he didn’t recognize her then this definitely meant they were new.

“Ah...Okay.” He said knowing not to ask because his parents would further explain.

“She’s your age you know? She’s just a bit younger. You should get to know her.” His mother continued giving him a smile.

Kibum placed his utensils down and looked at his parents suspiciously.

“Why?” 

Nothing was wrong with meeting new people but the situation seemed a bit...odd.

“We’ve talked about you to them and their daughter seems nice. We thought it would be nice for you to take her out. How about downtown to eat something? Hmm? Don’t worry I’ll give you money. ” His father said gettin straight to the point.

Kibum frowned. Money is not what he was worried about. 

His parents were trying to set him up on a date. 

His parents were worried about the rumors.

“But...” He said ready to rebuttal but trailed off. Kibum never stood up to his parents. He was always being told what to do. Always. He felt like his life was a never ending game of Simon Say’s. He felt like he never got to pick and choose anything in his life.

He sat back and sunk down in his chair.

“We will talk to her parents to set up a date for you two, okay sweetheart?” His mother spoke with concern in her eyes. 

But she wasn’t concerned for him. She was just concerned of their image.

He nodded slowly. But sat back in his chair watching as his parents continue to make small talk about something else. 

How could they live their lives so comfortable knowing that they control every aspect of his? 

It wasn’t right. And it wasn’t fair.

He didn’t need to go out on a date, he had Jonghyun. 

But of course he could never say that to him. So he sat up and finished eating his dinner, doing the dishes, and finishing his night ruetine like the obedient son he was.

-

It was Sunday now. And Kibum knew what that meant.

Church.

The moment he woke up, he prayed for a good day. He always prayed the moment he woke up and the moment he went to sleep. It was something he had always done. It helped to give him a positive out look for the day that lied ahead of him. Most days he woke up dreading the day, afraid of his bullies, afraid to disappoint his parents with something small yet again, or just genuinely concerned for his boyfriend in general. But prayer helped.

He was told to put on his best pair slacks and to make sure he had no wrinkles in his shirt. Anything less would be unacceptable. His parents were planning to introduce him to that girl. They didn’t say this but he was great at making educated guesses. And the way his mother was obsessing over every small detail to the point she stressed over the placement of the hair strands in his face also was a sign.

“Go back up stairs and brush your hair to the side. It looks neater that way.” His mother said dissmissing him the moment he came down stairs.  He wanted to tell her his hair was fine and no one would notice such a thing. But like the obedient son he was, he walked upstairs and did as told. 

Any time he had a moment to spare and look at himself in the mirror he always found something to judge about himself.

…well maybe his mother was right. His hair did look a but odd. It was best to fix it. 

His hair framed his face well, at least he thought that until he saw how chubby it made his cheeks look. But Jonghyun always he loved his chubby cheeks…

Kibum shook his head to snap out of his trance. He was going to tear himself down, at least not right now. He had somewhere to be.

“I’m ready.” He said as he came back down again. His mother and father looked him over again to see if they approved of his look. Once they decided he looked perfect they made there way out the door. 

Kibum hated to admit it, but sometimes he dreaded going to church. Mostly because his parents liked to stay for hours on end. Half of his day would be gooney the time they left church. He would never admit his discontent out loud to his parents though. Never.

He sat but a few rows from the front as his family usually did. The choir was singing as he clapped and sang along. His parents had been urging him to join the choir, but Kibum was able to somewhat dodge them with his excuse being he was really shy and couldn’t sing and that choir practice would talk up to much of his studying time with school and with his youth Bible study group. They wanted him to be involved in the church as much as possible.

The choir sang a few songs and the pastor preached for another hour when it was finally about time to leave, like he expected his whole Sunday afternoon was gone. His parents usually stayed around for another thirty minutes to stand around and talk tot the pastor or other members of the church. They were way more chatty with the church members than they were at the dinner table. His father always seemed so prideful while his mother always seemed to be up to the other women int he church. When he was younger he looked up to his parents, but now it was cringey to see his parents like this in all honesty. He spoke to his Bible study youth group for a few minutes when he became distracted at seeing his parents talk to a couple for a particular long time. The two seemed to be a couple, he recognized their faces from seeing them at church every Sunday but did not know them well. His heart jumped a little when he saw his parents point towards him, he quickly looked away to act as if he saw nothing. 

“Kibum-ah!” He heard his mother call softly. It was a sweet and sugary voice, a voice she used when she wanted something from him.

He internally screamed when he turned around and saw that behind the couple they spoke to was a teenage girl standing behind them. He knew what was about to happen.

“Yes?” He said finally walking over to the adults and giving a respectful bow to his garnets and the couple in fornt of him.

“Kibum-ah. These are the Jung’s, you haven’t met them formerly yet. Have you?” His gather asked.

“No I have not.” He replied.

“This is our son. Kim Kibum. Handsome isn’t he? Kibum-ah this is there daughter, Nichole.” 

They two immediately bowed to each other.

“My name is Nichole. It’s nice to meet you. Please take care of me.” She said instantly and almost robotically. 

They looked the same age. Nearly the same height, she was skinny with big eyes. But she was pretty. He hair was placed back neatly in a ponytail with a big white bow. Her clothes seemed dull as she was fully covered including a skirt nearly to her ankles. Her parents probably made her dress like this. She was young women, they wanted her to look modest. The two looked at each other shyly as their parent talked (bragging if you asked Kibum) about each other’s child. They would periodically ask them question and would answer. Kibum noticed she gave the perfect responses and how robotic she was whenever her parents asked for her input. She looked like a doll being told what to do, but she smiled the entire time, not no way was it genuine. The conversation wasn’t interesting at all nor were they involved in much of it as their parents only wanted their say when they felt like their responses would make them look better.

Kibum wandered if other people perceived him the same way he was precieving Nicole. 

“Kibum-ah, she will be joining your Bible Study group! How does that sound?” Hi smother chirped.

“G-great.” He said.

“That sounds absolutely perfect! I can’t wait to learn the word of God with you, Oppa.” She said cheerily. Kibum cringed at her overly enthusiatsic answer, but gave off a fake smile nonetheless.

“Sounds wonderful! They should get to know each other this way before going out together!” Nichole’s mother responded sounding almost the exactly the same as her daughter in tone and pitch. Perhaps this is where Nichole gets her persona from?

Now it became painfully aware that their parents were trying to set them up. But what could he do?

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Short chapter, but his next chapters will have his plot grow more and be more in depth.