♪ You and I,
We're like fireworks and symphonies exploding in the sky
With you, I'm alive
Like all the missing pieces of my heart, they finally collide
So stop time right here in the moonlight,
Cause I don't ever wanna close my eyes ♪

--

“It’s been a while isn’t it?” he said to the man sitting next to him, who confirmed it with a nod.

“That’s right. I heard about your accident. I’m so sorry about your parents.”

Jaebum shook his head, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to fell again. People died, he knew, and the ones left behind should move on and let it go. But like all of them, he needed time, something he didn’t have the luxury to have. But crying would only make Jinyoung uncomfortable, so he forced out a smile instead. “At least there’s no moment where they’re separated, so maybe it’s good in its own way.”

“What about you? You never came back to school afterwards. I went to your uncle’s house and was only told you moved back here. What happened to you?”

Jaebum tensed, not knowing what to say. Somehow he didn’t want Jinyoung to know about his condition. He was afraid of what his reaction might be. He didn’t want the other to pity him just shortly after they finally met again, or even worse, distanced himself. Maybe his distress was written on his face, because Jinyoung stuttered, “It’s okay if it’s something you don’t want to tell me. It was just too sudden, and we wondered what happened that you didn’t even say goodbye to us.”

Jaebum lifted an eyebrow. “We?”

“The kids, Mark, Jackson, Youngjae, Bambam, Yugyeom. Who else?”

Jaebum chuckled softly as his heart was slightly ridden with guilt, remembering his annoying yet endearing friends fondly. In his mind he just met him some weeks ago, but his heart still missed them greatly. “Of course, those kids. I’m sorry, for leaving like that. I had some… situation, that’s why. Anyway, how have they been?”

“Well, Jackson went back to Hongkong and coaches the fencers of national team. Mark has finally become a professional gamer now, and Bambam owns a clothing line here so they’re staying. Yugyeom still dances, and Youngjae teaches vocal. We still meet from time to time, and Jackson contacts us often.”

“Wow, those really suited them,” Jaebum looked up at the swaying cherry blossoms, waves of melancholy brushes over him as he was made to realize once again how much he had missed as he reset to that summer break everyday. “I wonder how they look like now. Maybe Mark doesn’t even talk anymore and speaks by clicking his mouse instead.”

Jinyoung’s laugh chimed through the rustles of the leaves, and it somehow soothed Jaebum to find that the way he laughed didn’t change at all. “What about you, Jinyoung? What brings you here?,” he asked.

“I’m teaching kindergarteners, but I’m on break right now. I’ve been wanting to go travelling, that’s why I’m here.”

Jaebum chuckled. “You’ve chose a perfect job for yourself, Jinyoung. I can totally see you reading pictured book, scaring kids with your witch impersonation.”

“I don’t!” Jinyoung yelled, before adding hesitantly, “well, maybe a few times. But that’s it.”

His laughter exploded, followed by Jinyoung. They let it slowly dispersed into the air, listening as the nature hummed its melody. The cat had already ran to somewhere again, yet none of them made a move to go after her. He missed sitting side by side with the other like that, and he wanted to savor it as long as he can. He stole a glance or two at Jinyoung, admiring the imperishable beauty of the man beside him, causing his heart flutter. He felt like a teenager all over again, idling away on the rooftop of their school, separated from the outside world. Well, he indeed was one the day before according to his memories, and he was still trapped in his teenage love.

“Just like when we were still in high school, no?” Jinyoung asked suddenly, shocking him frozen. Did Jinyoung just read his mind? Did he caught him looking?

“Back then, we used to hang out on the rooftop together, just like this,” Jinyoung continued, and he held back a sigh of relief. “Sometimes others would come too, but mostly it was only the two of us. I really miss those days. Don’t you?”

“Yeah, I guess,” he looked up, letting his mind wandering between the clouds, fantasizing what would have happened if that accident never exist. How would Jinyoung ade the white canvas with colors painted by the tip of his brush? How much of his feelings would overflow in every of it? What would Jinyoung think about his painting? Would he saw the truth even before he confessed? Would he managed to speak out his feelings at last, and how would he react to it? But ‘if’ didn’t happen, so there they were, no painting, merely old friend.

“Do you still remember our promise? The one we made there before you went away?” Jinyoung asked, and his heart almost stopped again. Was he really not reading his mind?

“You asked me to be your model, and you said there was something you wanted to say after the competition. And you’re right, it tickled my curiosity like an itch I can’t scratch. What was it?”

“Hmm, what was it again? It’s been so long, I totally forget,” was the lie that rolled off of his tongue, replacing the three word that was stuck on his throat. How could he say that? It was already too late. Back then, he was the one closest to the other, and he was confident he could make him return his feelings. But the Jinyoung in front of him was someone who had matured throughout the years they were away from each other and met many people he didn’t know, no longer the Jinyoung who would come to his class every recess to go to the cafeteria together. And although there was a slight chance the other would accept him, he didn’t have the heart to make him deal with his condition. He wasn’t someone capable of making him happy anymore. Staying by his side would only hurt him, and he hated it even more than him himself getting hurt.

“Is that so? Not that important then. It’s so disappointing,” Jinyoung said, “guess an artist of your caliber won’t be interested in painting someone ordinary like me anymore.”

Confusion pulled his eyebrows into a frown. “What do you mean?”

“You’re JB, right?”

It wasn’t even actually a question. There was no trace uncertainty in his firm eyes. It took Jaebum a second to remember that it was indeed his alias according to the journal. But didn’t it said that no one knew his real identity? Then how come Jinyoung knew about that? Maybe he looked dumb in his perplexity because Jinyoung laughed as he saw his face.

“Oh my, it’s been a while since I saw that face. It’s still as hilarious as ever,” Jinyoung said in between his laughter.

“But how? How do you know that I am JB? I thought no one knows about it?”

“I’ve been a fan of your works since even before I knew you, it’s not hard for me to recognize your style anywhere. And it’s not like your handwriting has changed either. I saw a painting signed as JB at an exhibition, and I knew right away it’s yours.”

Jaebum opened his mouth only to close it again, unable to find any words to say. His heart was pounding against his ribcage with hope of something he knew he shouldn’t have. At that moment, he only wanted to hold the man beside him and scream his love at the top of his lungs. He stood up abruptly, feeling Jinyoung’s confused look toward him.

“I have to go,” he said, not meeting the other’s eyes. If he did, he wouldn’t be able to leave, and there was no telling what he might do if he stayed longer. “Bye.”

“Wait,” there was a hand around his wrist, preventing him from going. Jinyoung’s face entered his sight, and he was once again trapped in his eyes, just like he used to be back then.

“Will you come here again tomorrow? I want to see you again before I went back to Seoul the day after.”

As if he was hypnotized, he almost nodded. He wanted with his whole being to go along with Jinyoung’s wish, forgetting all reasons. He shook his head off from the spell, reminding himself of what was taken away from him. He no longer had tomorrow. He would forget everything. No matter what he wrote inside his journal, there were still limits to that. There would be things missing,  and Jinyoung would notice.

“I don’t think I can. I’m sorry.” It broke Jaebum’s heart to say that, and to see Jinyoung’s face fell in disappointment. However, smile returned to his face again in a flash it felt like the disappointment he saw was only his imagination.

“Even just a little bit is alright, if you’re busy. Just come whenever you can, and I’ll be here. Okay?”

“But…”

“I’ll wait until you come. See you tomorrow.”

Jinyoung left with a smile, not giving him a chance to refuse. He couldn’t remember how he got home, too occupied with the thoughts of the man. And when the night came, with the blank pages of his journal opened before him and a pen in his hand, he couldn’t write anything. His feelings was too overwhelming for him to describe, and too many things he wanted to remember that couldn’t be kept by mere words. Like how different and similar Jinyoung was to the one inside his memories, how his voice got deeper, how he still laughed the same, everything. So he put down his pen and closed the journal.

Just one more day, he decided. If he stayed the night awake, he could live for one more day. He could keep the day’s memories for one more day. He hang onto those feelings he had that day for one more day. So instead of laying on his bed he sat in front of a blank canvas, moving his brush tirelessly with a cup of americano beside him. After the sun dethroned the moon and his third cup was empty, the imagery of cherry blossom trees, a big stone, and the back profile of a black haired man sitting on it spread across the canvas. The scene he would forget, a place he could no longer reach, as soon as he fell asleep.

__________________________________________

Song: We the Kings - Sad Song

Greeting you again with a new chapter! Sorry though, it seems I'm not able to write long chapters for this story at all, I don't even know why. Usually when I wrote a chapter it would be more than 2.5k or 3k words, but somehow for this story I couldn't even reach 2k T_T Anyway, hope you still enjoy this chapter :D

Oh, and thanks for appreciating my story!