They said to love is, "Give without sparing."

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“Hyung, what time you will be home tomorrow?” I said as I rubbed the towel to my hair.

“I am not sure, tomorrow we have a meeting that starts quiet late, so it probably will finish late as well.”

“So you won’t be able to come home earlier? I thought that I will reserve a table for us to celebrate our anniversary.”

He looked up from his laptop amd stared at me, “Don’t waste money on something like that, we can just have something at home. You know I am busy on the weekdays. Don’t you have work as well tomorrow?”

“I do,” I said stop rubbing my hair, I walked to him, “I supposed to be working tomorrow, but I asked for a day off. I asked for a day off especially because tomorrow is our 5th anniversary,” I smiled at him, he looked at me confused. “I do have work but I want to spend the day with you, but seems like it’s useless.” the tears started falling down.

“Don’t cry. You know I am busy on weekdays, if you want we can do it on weekend, you can book a table at whatever restaurant you want,” he said, wiping my tears. “You know I don’t like it when you cry, babe.”

“So stop saying that if you want you can do this if you want you can do that! Am I the only one in this in this relationship!” I said pushing his chest, “you said you hated it if I am crying. So stop hurting me!” I said keep pushing his chest.

Our anniversary is the day I looked forward the most besides his birthday, the day I looked forward because we treasured it the most in the past. The anniversary I used to know is the one he will take a day off if it was the weekday, no matter what. The anniversary I used to know is the one that we will have our lunch at the restaurant we both choose. The anniversary I used to know is the one that he will bring me a bouquet of red rose which symbolizes deep emotions of admiration, love, and desire. The anniversary I used to know is the one we will spend the night holding each other, heated kisses, low moan, and name calling when we released.

The first anniversary until our 4th year was totally different from our 5th year anniversary. There were no, let us celebrate it together promise. There were no kisses, there was no skin against skin, there was no pleasure moan, there even no sleeping holding each other at all on our 5th year anniversary.

To be honest, the thought of giving up crossed my mind several times. The thought of letting him go did come to my mind a lot of time. The thought that maybe if we break it off it won’t hurt us deeper.

But the thought of living without him, the thought of waking up without him, just the thought of without him by my side hurts me more than anything.

They said that, “It’s not how much we give, but how much love we put into giving.”