Second, they said that to love is, “Share without pretending.”

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“Hyung, I won’t be at home today, I will be staying in the hospital. There was-” I stopped mid sentence because I know he himself also busy with his production team.

“There was what Youngjae? Have you had your meal?” Jaebeom hyung asked.

It taken me back for awhile but I believed that he asked me only for formality, to shown that he was still interest in what I did, “I had breakfast this morning, I need to go. Bye.” I hang up.

I stared at my phone for a long time, the picture on my homescreen, the one we took on the first day after we move to Paris, the one that he had his arms wrapped around me and his chin on my shoulder, the one he hug me from behind and demanded me to took a photo on the first day and the beginning of us finally living together. The one that he had the big grinned on his face, the one than I was too shy that I covered half of my face with one of my hand and the other on the top of his hand on my stomach.

I opened the message he sent me a while ago. Bitter sweet smile on my face.

From: Mine ❤️

Babe, I am home.

What time will you finish your work?

I want to cook something for dinner, you have something in mind?

Take care love, I miss you.

Come home soon.

I sighed, I remembered that day clearly. I called him right after I read his message, told him that I missed his kimchi stew. When I got home that day, he cooked a lot, not only kimchi stew but other type of korean food as well. He said if I asked for Korean food it means that I missed home. He said he want to made it better by fed me with Korean food.

I scrolled to the next message.

Friday, 04.37pm

From: Mine ❤️

Babe, I am sorry bothering you I know you are busy right now.

But I forget to asked you this morning.

What time will you finish your work? I will pick you up.

Call me when you finish.

I love you ❤️

That day was the day that I won’t forget either. He prepared a birthday surprise for me, he booked a romantic dinner for both of us in one of the restaurant I told him we should visit next time. He booked the table that close to the beach, but eventually that day was raining and all his surprise was ruined. He was so sad but I couldn’t stop laughing. He said he decorated the table by himself, he ordered my favorite dishes, but it ruined because of the stupid rain.

He was slucking that day, so I pulled him into a tight hug and patted him on the back, told him it was ok. That his efforts was more important even it ruined by rain. The Jaebeom hyung that I know was totally different from Jaebeom hyung that others know. He was much more cuter than he admitted, he was much more childish than he thought, he was the most romantic lover I could ever asked.

I closed my eyes, remembering those good moments, those sweet talk, those naughty whispers, those times his arms warped around me during his sleep and never letting me go even it was too hot, those times when he won’t let me go because he said he miss me so much, those times the word ‘I love you’ was apart of our daily life.

I tried my best to holding back the tears, so I slid my phone to my lab coat. I walked to the reception to got the next operation scheduled. I looked at the couple in front of me with his daughter. I sighed, he loved kids, every time we went to the park he always had that stupid smile and said that one day he want kids, when we ready. I closed my eyes and the picture of Jaebeom hyung crossed my mind.

I missed that moment, the moment that made me feels like I was his whole world, the moment when he looked at me in the eyes, the moment he pecked my cheek and told me that my whole face was red who’s face won’t turn red if his lover told them that he was ier right?

I remember that day he called me from his studio just because he missed my voice. I missed him, I missed my Jaebeom hyung.

They said that, “Love only grows by sharing. You can only have more for yourself by giving it away to others.”