*Jane POV*

 

I never get enough sleep this days. My eyes swollen and I can clearly see myself becoming thinner in the mirror.

Days of crying.

I thought I'll be fine, Daisy will just be another chapter but as days go by, the more I miss and long for her.

Hyebin told me Daisy was already out, she said Daisy feels like dying in there if she stays in the hospital. That woman can still joke about death, I hate her.

I look at myself for the last time in the mirror. Concealer did it's job pretty well. I hope it can also hide the pain.

 

"The car is ready Miss" I nod.

 

My heart race when I saw Daisy's house and we stop. Her parents welcome me with a warm hug and her mother have been whispering how glad she is for seeing me again.

"She's in her room with Yuto."

 

Yuto? That guy really knows how to make a role for himself. Dammit.

 

I silently open the door and hear them laughing.

I saw a children's book on Yuto's hand and he was reading it. Daisy would laugh everytime Yuto changes his voice to match the character.

They don't seem to notice me so I faked a cough.

Good. Finally I have their attention now.

Daisy sit straight up from lying and look at me. She turn her gaze to Yuto.

"Can you please leave us for awhile oppa." Yuto look at me then to Daisy.

Just leave already!

Yuto nods, put the book down to it's shelf and pat Daisy's head.

Daisy smiled. What the is that?

 

"I can see you two becomes so close." I bitterly said as I sat down at her bed next to her.

"That's so sweet."

"We're friends."

"Yeah right. Friends"

 

"Why are you here?" She intently look at me. God, I miss her so much.

"I still love you." I think I made her aggravated. She glare at me.

"Still?! After being gone for days, you'll show you're face and tell me you STILL love me? Damn Jane, that's really savage of you."

Okay.. she's raging!

I reach for her hand but she shove my arms away. Geez.

"Calm down, Daisy. You're heart."

"S-stop joking around."  Her voice broke and I can see she's holding back her tears.

 

I force myself to her and hug her. She hit me but when I wrap my arms around her frame, she stop.

God I really miss her and it feels so good holding her right now.

 

"Let go.."

"Stop fighting back, I know you miss me too."

"You're so full of yourself!" I smile breaking the hug and look at her. I cup her cheeks wiping away the tears.

 

"I just realize after not seeing you for days that I love you even more today."

 

"And it's getting stronger everyday Daisy, what should I do? I am so inlove with you."

 

She look away, I chase for her gaze and when she was still avoiding my eyes, I made her look at me by holding her chin softly.

 

"I'm sick Jane. I will not live long. That's why you can't love me."

"I don't care."

She look at me questionably.

"You won't die."

She roll her eyes like I just said the most stupid phrase ever.

No. I wouldn't allow that! I will do everything in my power to make her live longer.

"You're talking nonsense." She scoffs.

"Don't give me false hopes Jane. I already accepted my fate. I don't want to drag you with me and hurt you so please.. I promise I will understand." 

I hit her head lightly. She didn't react instead she look at me weirdly.

God. She's so pretty.

She's so pretty and I want to make her happy.

I want to see her smile and be the reason behind it, I want to hear her laugh everyday. I want her on my side.

I love her.

 

"I hope you know that I am stubborn Miss Yoo. Even if you push me away or avoid me to the extent, it will all be futile. I told you I love you and I will love you until the world ends."

 

Her eyes water and she look away. But I hold her chin and make her look at me again.

I will make her happy.

I smiled.

 

"So, you're Mom told me you like me so much." I tried to lighten the mood between us but Daisy pushed me. What?

"She didn't." I flaunt my I'm serious face. She suddenly yell and hide in her blanket.

 

Haha look at this adorable woman feeling shy. I slowly took off the blanket.

"Please don't look at me like that." She said while pushing me away and avoiding my gaze.

"Is this how you say you miss me too, by being mean?" I fake sulking. God, I am becoming a big baby. Look what love makes you do.

"Seriously Jane, since when did you learn to sulk?"

"Since when did you and Yuto became so close like that."

"I told you we're friends!"

"Psh."

"Stop sulking will you!"

"I will if Yu-" *tsup*

My eyes widen. Oh my god, it works!

I mean I am only expecting she will coo me but getting a kiss? On the lips? Holy poly!

 

She holds her chest and I panick but she smile sweetly at me.

"I-i'm fine. And can you please stop talking about Yuto."

I kiss her hands and put it into my chest. I smile and look at her straight in the eyes.

"Thank you for letting me love you." I almost tear right there. I am forcing myself not to breakdown infront of her.

Before I came here, I told myself not to cry.

Cause from today onwards, I vow to love her and make her happy. I will be her strength when she's weak, her shelter and refuge. I will protect her and I will always be here for her.

I will love her with my all.

 

"Who told you I accepted it?"

Come on, stop playing push and pull already.

I roll my eyes when I feel her warm hands on my cheeks and slowly, slowly her lips meet mine.

I can feel her controlling her breath, I let her adjust and when she's fine, I kissed her back to the rhythm we both created.

We smile and stare at each other.

"This is the best birthday gift ever." I mumbled and she was taken a back.

"It's your birthday?"

"Hhmmm."

"Why didn't you tell me Jane. I should've prepared somethi-"

"Ssshh.. I already said it. You're "yes" is the best present ever."

She hug me but only for a short time, she's still breathing heavily.

"Happy Birthday and fine. I love you Sung Jiyeon."

********

Daisy and I cherished the days our palms still hold.

One weekend, we visited a theme-park. She said it was her childhood dream to be in a park and ride the rides.

She keeps on pointing the scary rides and make me ride it. God!

Didn't know loving her could put my life into this much risk! She must be so lucky I love her. Lol. But really, I am lucky too. Just seeing her reaction and laughing at me, it's priceless. And worth it.

The Merry-Go-Round is my favorite ride of them all. Because I rode it with her.

 

"Babe...." she broke the kiss, panting.

I smile at her and meet our foreheads together. Damn, I am melting under her stare.

"I used to be in the counter, why am I in between the shelves now again?"

I snuggle at her neck. I am sitting at the floor in between the shelves and she's on top of me, sitting in my lap.

"Because you love me." I give her a chaste kiss again. She gasp. Oh , I must've surprised her.

 

She saw my worry so she peck at my lips.

"Don't worry. It's just.. you always make me breathless."

She caress my hair and stare at me lovingly.

 

Oh I love her so much. I want to shout it to the world, I want the whole world to know how much I love her. God please...

How is it possible to love someone this much?

 

"Jane. You are the air I would kill to breathe."

"You have a for song lyrics."

She hit me and chuckle.

"Come on you little.. ugh. I'm trying to be romantic here!"

 

I pull her closer and hug her, resting my head in her chest.

I need to do this, I need to crack a joke because I feel like my tears are falling.

 

"Romantic or not, I still love you."

"Cheesy." I chuckle lightly.

 

Silence passed, I was still hugging her but not too tight.

 

I skipped school today and I'm sure you already how mad she is. But she loves me so...

"Jane, I have good news."

"What is it?"

She's playing with my hair and it's very comforting.

 

"They've found a donor. And it matched."

I broke the hug and look up to her. Her smile. Can I keep her smile?

"But it's still risky so-"

"Sssshhhh. You'll be fine. We'll make it."

I assured and she nods.

I feel like crying.

I can clearly remember going home with a heavy heart.

We are together in her house when suddenly she got an attack again and was rushed to the hospital.

I was so scared then. I keep on rubbing my palms, praying she'll be fine.

"Breathe baby please. Breathe for me. Breathe Daisy. I need you, please breath.

I just keep on whispering and praying it would help. I feel so useless then, I have everything but I cannot help the one  person who makes me appreciate everything that I have.

 

When I came home, I just breakdown. I let it all out. The pain, the fear, the rage, the loneliness. It all just came together and I snapped, breaking down.

 

My father came to me and told me about a transplant and that they found one in States, they're just waiting for the results to be matched.

I was so surprise, I don't know what to feel.

 

He told me he got worried, hearing me muffling my cries almost every night. He asks my friends and there, he know about Daisy's case and he wants to help too.

I was so happy. I hug and cry in his arms. It remained anonymous to Daisy though, only her parents know and they're so thankful.

"When will it be?"

"The day after tomorrow."

"Oh. Thats so soon." Honestly I am scared too. Alot of what-if's were running in my mind and I don't know.. it got me scared but I know she can do it. We'll be fine.

"They said I am in the best condition these days and I am more than ready for it. Well, I know I'm so fine because of you. It's because I have you."

How? How can I resist  this woman? How can I possibly lessen my love for her when everyday it just get stronger and stronger.

I love her so damn much!

"But promise me Jane, that whatever happens. You'll be strong and happy."

"Daisy I told you not to talk about thin-"

"Just promise me please."

"Well I will do that if you're here so."

"Jane!"

"Daisy please... if something I feared happen, you cannot expect me to be happy with that. So if you want me to be happy, you need to make it!"

"Jane.."

"You are my happiness and my everything now. I want you here with me and  I don't want anything else more than that. I love you so much so please... stop asking me to still be the same without you."

"Oh Jane.."

"Ssshh.. stop arguing and  just kiss me."

*******

 

"Are you ready sweetie?" I nod.

Today is the day. Daisy will be fine, she'll make it.

My mother hold my hand while my father walk us to Daisy's family.

She smile when she saw me. Like I am the only one she's waiting before she enters that door.

She also wave at my friends behind me.

"Wow Song Jiyeon, you never fail to make my heart skip a beat."

They all laughed. How can she still be this cheerful when I feel like dying just by letting her enter that door.

I kiss her softly and hug her for awhile. She's paler than yesterday but still the same beautiful as ever.

"You'll be fine right?"

She nods. "I'm strong, remember stubborn?"

"You know that I love you, right?" My tears falls.

"And how lucky I am to have you. You make me happy and dammit. Daisy you're my everything, I love you so much."

She hit my forehead and wipe my tears away. I heard her chuckle.

"Dummy, why are you crying, I'm not going anywhere."

"P-promise me you'll comeback."

"Wait for me here, Jane." She smile.

"I love you so much Daisy."

"I love you too."

***********

"Happy Birthday Strawberry!"

"Happy Birthday Jiyeon!"

"Happiest Birthday to the most beautiful unnie in the world!"

"Happy Birthday bro."


"Jane unnie, Happy Birthday. Be happy and I wish you all the best."

"Happy Birthday strawberry Jane. Here have a blast!"

Her phone keeps on vibrating, receiving alot of greetings, memes, emoticons and messages since the clock hit 12.

Her friends didn't sleep and wait for her birthday, she receive alot of love from them.

But strangely, Jane found herself crying in the middle of her pitch black room at dawn.

It's 3 am and the sky outside was dark, heavy rain was falling.

Jane wants to know why her heart is aching, until her feet walk her to the coat hanging in her dresser.

I must have loved you alot. It hurts like hell.

Unconsciously, she wore the coat.

Jane misses her. She wants to feel her warmth, her embrace, her kisses.

But the day come, the day she feared. Daisy disappeared. A day so sad even the sky cried.

Jane wants the pain to go away, she wants to heal but as the day passes by, her strength to bear it all left her.

She open the front door and the cold wind and gushing rain surprised her.

One step, two step, three step and Jane found herself running. In the middle of the rain, in the middle of the dark, while her tears continue to fall.

Why? Why did you disappear when I can clearly remember you like this? When I love you this much!

That even if I shout your name, time won't still bring you back to me.

Why did you become my sadness? Why can't I forget you Daisy?

She stumble and falls to the ground but she didnt bother getting up and remain there, weak, lying, hurting.

Jane wish that just like the first day they met, Daisy will come to her when she's so wet and cold.

Daisy.

She longed for her, she yearn for her.

Days when rain falls, she miss her the most. The rainy sky, it saddens her so much.

Baby I want to go to you, I want to see you. I want to find and be with you. I miss you so much Daisy, how can I live with this pain?

I need you here.

Cause until now, I am still waiting for the day I will see you again.

 

 

You told me to wait. I did.


But you never came back.
 

Jane hold her chest and lie down facing the sky, rain was falling directly to her but she didn't care. She even thinks this is good, it's making her numb.

Before darkness succumb her, Jane whispered staring at the sky.

"Happy Anniversary, Daisy. I love you so much.