o26

Stay

Jinqiong had no idea what happened. Or, more accurately, she did, theoretically, but it was still awfully disconcerting to be in one place and then another in less than the blink of an eye. All she remembered was a flash of light, which she was quick enough to turn away from, and then somehow, they were in a completely different place altogether, Junsu’s ships nowhere in sight and the sea around them…

Oh God.

Jongdae had told her about Hell’s Gate—not in detail, but enough for her to get a good idea of what it was like—but it was impossible to truly conceptualize without actually being there. And now that she was, Jinqiong could only stare.

The only words that came to mind were colorless and lifeless, though she supposed that summed up Hell’s Gate pretty well. The sky was an empty shade of grey that was too unnatural to be simply cloudy, as if somehow, ashes had been sprinkled into the sky, covering everything. Then, reflecting the color of the sky was the sea, stretching on for what felt like forever.

Jinqiong swallowed thickly, head pounding. The crew was beginning to pick themselves up, too, and quiet murmuring swept through everyone, as if they couldn’t bring themselves to break the strange silence of Hell’s Gate.

They had made it. And it felt so wrong that Jinqiong almost wished they had turned back earlier, because the endless grey, the dead sea, the fact that the brown wood of the ship and the clothing they wore were the only splashes of color—it was wrong.

Still, even amidst the sea of grim expressions, the crew gathered around their captain. Baekhyun was clutching Hei’s hand, both looking absolutely exhausted from the use of their power. The ship was moving forward, some wind catching in the masts, and they seemed to draw a collective breath.

Baekhyun broke the silence. “I’m going to assign shifts,” he said. “It’s three hours each, and I want at least two people on the helm at all times. Yoona installed an alarm on the ship, so if there’s an attack you can’t handle, don’t, for God’s sake, don’t send someone down to get the rest of the crew—just hit the lever. It’ll sound in the mess hall and below deck.”

Jongin frowned. “Why weren’t we told of this before?”

“You would’ve sounded it for fun before,” Baekhyun retorted drily.

Jongin considered. “Guilty as charged.”

An eye-roll, then his face was back to seriousness. “Chanyeol, Jongin and Kyungsoo take one shift. Luhan and Yixing take one. Junmyeon, you and Jinqiong.” He paused. “Jongdae, you’re with me for three hours so you can run through everything you’ve found about Lee Taeyong with me. Then you’re going to rest.”

Jongdae gave a mock salute. “Yes, Captain,” he said, then added as an afterthought, “you can’t make me sleep, though.”

Out of everyone, Junmyeon was probably the best option. She had no idea how to steer the ship, which she supposed she could learn, and if anywhere were going to teach her, he was probably the only person she could accept doing so. Junmyeon met her gaze, then, as if he was reading her mind, he smiled (or as much as Kim Junmyeon could smile). “I can teach you how to steer,” he said.

Jinqiong pursed her lips. “I was hoping you’d do all the steering,” she joked.

“Yuxuan,” Baekhyun suddenly remembered, before turning to the girl. “We have enough supplies, right?”

Yuxuan nodded. “Kyungsoo has been helping me make some balms, but I should probably make more for general injuries.”

“Hei can help with that,” he said.

Hei looked like she was going to protest, but then thought better of it and gave Yuxuan a small smile. “Sounds good.”

Judging from their previous conversation, it probably wasn’t a matter of sounds good to Hei, but she didn’t say anything else.

“We’ll figure out the sectors,” Baekhyun decided. “Chanyeol, Jongin and Kyungsoo, you’re on first shift. The rest of you are dismissed.”

***

There was still another six hours until her shift, and before they had entered the gates, it had been nearing night outside, so Jinqiong figured that it would be smartest to get rest before she had to wake up. She needed to replenish energy, after all, from using her power to shield the ship, and needed that energy in case they needed to fight.

Casting one more glance at the god-awful sea, she headed for below deck, exhausted.

A couple minutes later, she had the blankets pulled up to her chin and was staring fruitlessly at the ceiling, sleep refusing to come. Perhaps it was Hell’s Gate itself; while the rest of the crew (minus Yuxuan) had been there before, she hadn’t, and she was awfully unaccustomed to the greyness, the wrongness of Hell’s Gate. They weren’t in the world anymore, but a separate dimension, one overflowing with the most malicious magic in the world. That was unsettling enough, but then there were Hei’s words echoing through her head. What’s with you and Jongdae?

Nothing, Jinqiong answered.

He cares about you. A lot.

He’s stupid for that, then.

The more she thought about it, the more awake she felt, until she was glaring at the ceiling and so antsy she couldn’t even shut her eyes. Another minute trapped in the darkness of her room and it suddenly felt overwhelming, and Jinqiong kicked off her blankets, figuring that if she couldn’t replenish energy by sleeping, she might as well do so through food.

She opened the door to see Kim Jongdae with one hand raised, poised to knock.

Biting back a curse, she swallowed her shock and raised an eyebrow at him. “What?”

At least he looked slightly sheepish. “Aren’t you hungry?” he asked.

He cares about you. A lot.

Two weeks ago, Jinqiong might’ve called Hei’s bluff for that. Kim Jongdae? He cared more about his stupid books than he would care about her.

But now, she wasn’t so sure. And Jinqiong was almost convinced she’d rather go back to when both of them could argue with each other and she could go on her day being mad at him, because that was the easiest way to tell herself she didn’t feel anything. It was too late for that, though, because the first thing she thought was that he looked good in the light of the lantern, hair slightly tousled, face angular in the sharp light.

Then, he cocked his head. “Well?” he probed.

Jinqiong nearly slapped herself. “No,” she blurted before she could register his question and the fact that she had left her room to get food.

“Lie,” Jongdae replied breezily. “Seriously, you’re so bad at this.”

Jinqiong opted for scowling at him, but secretly grateful for the company, stepped out of her room and closed the door. Even if it were Kim Jongdae, any sort of company seemed good. Hell’s Gate threw her off too much, and the thought of sleeping alone in a dark room—she wouldn’t be surprised to wake up while being strangled to death by some sort of monster. So, she justified, even if it were Jongdae…

But even as she told herself that, she knew the reality was that the more time she spent with him, the more attached she’d be. She didn’t want close friends. Didn’t want a friend. And certainly, didn’t want anything more than that.

Except part of her did, and had ever since she’d watched Song Hei latch an arm around Baekhyun, laughing about some shared secret, in their small, cozy house when she and Jongdae had first come. Jongdae had taunted her about it then, and she had adamantly denied, but she wanted that. Even then, and perhaps before.

Instead of going to the mess hall like she thought Jongdae would be doing, he turned around and pushed the door of his own room open, just beside hers. Jinqiong frowned, but didn’t question when he stepped inside. It was better than the mess hall, she decided, where so many people were.

“Don’t tell anyone,” Jongdae said, “but I have a stash of food in my room.”

Jinqiong raised an eyebrow again. “Oh, I’m going to tell Byun Baekhyun.”

“You wouldn’t talk to Byun Baekhyun willingly,” Jongdae grumbled. “It’s distracting to go to the mess hall because I’m hungry and have to grab something from the cellar. Breaks my train of thought. And I can’t concentrate if I’m too hungry, so I found a solution.”

He kicked the door of this room closed as soon as she stepped inside, then grinned at her. “You should’ve done the same, if you’re so keen on avoiding the crew.”

She sat down on the edge of his bed, all of a sudden jittery again, because this was Jongdae, and she had told herself that distance was probably what would fix the fact that she was going to leave permanently after this, and sitting in his room waiting for him to give her food wasn’t exactly putting distance between them.

She didn’t move, though, and from one of the drawers under his desk, Jongdae dug out a plum and a piece of bread and handed them to her.

Jinqiong shook her head. “How much food do you have?”

“That’s a secret.”

She took the plum and the bread, then realized there was a gnawing hunger in her stomach. She hadn’t eaten since that morning, but with everything that had happened, hadn’t remembered to.

Jongdae spun his chair around so he was facing her. “How are you feeling?”

He cares about you. A lot.

Jinqiong shook away Hei’s words. Then it’ll be his problem if he gets hurt when I leave, she thought angrily, then replied a bit snappishly, “What do you mean?”

He tilted his head, not the least bit fazed by her tone. “You used your power quite a lot back there.”

Jinqiong shrugged. “It wasn’t as bad as Hei. She did much more than I did.”

“You’re tired,” Jongdae observed.

“Thanks,” she shot back drily as she finished the piece of bread, moving onto the plum. “You noticed.”

“Yeah, it’s my power.” Jongdae fixed her with a stare. “You need to rest after this.”

“I know.”

“Since you have a shift with my brother in six hours.”

Jinqiong glanced at him. “I’m well aware.”

Jongdae looked like he wanted to say something, but then shook his head and turned around to his desk, pulling out one of his books. Jinqiong took his silence as an opportunity to take a bite of the plum, then winced at how sour it was. It hadn’t ripened properly, and definitely didn’t do so in the time it had spent in Jongdae’s desk. Still, it was food and she was famished, and she finished in less than a minute.

She was about to get up and leave when Jongdae spoke up again. “Do you know what sectors we can go through?” he asked.

Jinqiong blinked, then settled back down on the mattress. “Well, I’m told to avoid the first sector and the third sector at all costs, and apparently the second too. Which means there’s only the fifth sector—the one with monsters—is the only one we can pass through, unless we’re going to venture into the fourth and the sixth. Am I right?”

Jongdae nodded, looking mildly impressed. “You remembered.”

“It came with the occupation,” she said. It was supposed to be a joke, but her voice sounded darker than she meant it to be as other memories bubbled up. I used to get punished for every minor detail I missed.

To her relief, Jongdae seemed able to tell that she wasn’t keen on delving deeper into the topic, because he nodded. “We’re in the third sector right now,” he told her. “Hell’s Gate doesn’t really have a proper night-day cycle, but usually you can tell when it’s slightly brighter outside, which means the sector’s danger is less… intense, I guess. There’s a narrow strip of the third sector we have to get through before we can reach the fifth, but… it should be fine. The only problem is that we can’t really reach the central island by the fifth sector alone–even if we could, it would take too long—so we need something else to go through.”

“The third sector is the one that turned you all against each other, right?”

“Not before it slammed some doors on our fingers.” Jongdae scrubbed a hand over his face. “God, I can’t believe I’m back in this place.”

“You wanted to come here,” Jinqiong told him drily.

“I know,” he muttered, then raised his eyes towards her when she yawned. “Get some rest before your shift. We’ll be well into the fifth sector by then, so you’ll need all your energy to fight.”

“You look exhausted too.”

She regretted the words the moment they came out, because Jongdae gave her one of his excruciatingly painful grins. “Are you worried about me?” he teased.

Teased. Not taunted. She really needed sleep. They all did. Until Jongdae was back to normal, all sharp tongue and scowls and short temper. 

“I’m not,” Jinqiong told him pointedly.

He grinned in a way that obviously said you’re lying without even needing the words. Jinqiong groaned. “You’re insufferable,” she told him as she stood up, then asked as an afterthought, “Nothing will attack me in my cabin, right?”

Jongdae managed to wipe the grin off his face. Which was a good thing, because Jinqiong would’ve done it for him if he had kept it up. “I’m not sure,” he replied. “Honestly, I didn’t sleep that much in Hell’s Gate. It didn’t feel safe to close my eyes.”

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