Baekhyun realized, painfully, that even though it hurt like hell, life wouldn't stop just to let him breathe. Actually, the more it hurt, the faster life was passing by, spraying salted water on his open wounds, laughing at his stupidity.

The Universe liked to hurt him, and the final blow came a few months later, when Baekhyun thought he was actually going to be okay. 

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Between the moment of his break up, and the final blow, Baekhyun met another girl, on Facebook as well. She was friend with Hyun-seok, and added him without saying anything. Baekhyun asked why, and she only said that since he was Hyun-Seok's best friend, he probably was really funny as well. He didn't really know if that was a good reason to add someone on Facebook, but it didn't really matter, and they started talking anyway.

Ha-Neul was a nice girl. She was older than him. She liked the same music as Shinsoo, and Baekhyun was happy about it because it felt like Shinsoo was still there, just a little bit. She was funny, carefree, and she would text him a lot. Baekhyun would always answer, no matter what she said. 

Ha-Neul, unlike Shinsoo, lived about half an hour away from here. She wanted to see him, because they had loads of fun when they talked by text messages. Baekhyun said yes, because why not ? Ha-Neul said something along the lines of " I will probably kiss you when I'll see you ". Baekhyun laughed and answered with an " I bet you won't ". Ha-Neul playfully said " You'll see ", and Baekhyun never thought it was a serious conversation. 

On a Wednesday afternoon, she took the bus, and arrived at Baekhyun's town around 2pm. Baekhyun was waiting for her with Hyun-Seok at their usual hang out place, in front of the city hall. he asked his best friend to come, because he felt awkward meeting someone he've never seen before. Hyun-Seok said yes, because he wasn't the shy type, and he knew her before Baekhyun did. 

Hyun-Seok said hi to her, and then it was Baekhyun's turn. They smiled shyly (or maybe it was just him) and the three of them decided to walk to the park behind the city hall. There was a playground, and they climbed on the top of the slide, where a little wooden house usually welcomed the children. Ha-Neul was looking at him with a smile, and Baekhyun was looking at Hyun-Seok because he didn't really what to do. His best friend pull out his phone form his pocket, and Ha-Neul started to talk.

" We have a bet, Baekhyun "

" ..We do "

Baekhyun wasn't expecting that, it was all a joke to him.

" What's the bet ? "

Hyun-Seok already knew about it, because he saw the texts Baekhyun had in his phone.

" I said I was going to kiss him. He said I wouldn't. "

Hyun-Seok smiled, looking up at Baekhyun, and opened the camera on his phone.

" Ok, let's see that. I'll take a picture to prove that you really did it. "

Ha-Neul didn't seem to feel the least embarassed. She sat down, pulling Baekhyun with her, and she looked at him.

Baekhyun wasn't sure what was going to happen. He didn't think Ha-Neul was actually going to kiss him. People didn't do that, did they ?

But apparently they did, and a few seconds later, Ha-Neul made him turn around, and pecked his lips.

Baekhyun wasn't expecting for his first kiss to be like this. 

Also, Hyun-Seok was a piece of , Baekhyun thought.

" Wait a minute ! We can't see anything on that picture ! "

" We can't ? " Ha-Neul asked.

" Nope ! Gotta take another one ! You ready ? "

Ha-Neul nodded, smiled, and looked at Baekhyun once again. Baekhyun blinked a few times, and finally leaned in to peck her lips. 

It felt awkward, honestly, because Baekhyun had a weird smile on his face, his eyes half open, and he didn't know where to put his hands. Also because they didn't move. They were there, lips against lips, waiting for Hyun-Seok to take the picture, and once that was done, they pulled appart and Ha-Neul smiled to him. 

Baekhyun would always remember his first kiss. 

It didn't mean it was a good one. 

Hyun-Seok, Ha-Neul and Baekhyun spent the entire afternoon, joking, laughing, and having fun. It was actually a pretty good day. Under the sun, and out with friends, Baekhyun, for the first time in months, actually felt good. 

At the end of the day, they were waiting for Ha-Neul's bus. Hyun-seok was talking, and they were listening to him. The bus arrived shortly after Hyun-Seok stopped talking, and Ha-Neul told him goodbye before looking at Baekhyun. 

He smiled to her, saying goodbye and see you soon, and Ha-Neul smiled back. He wasn't expected her to grab his face and kiss him square on the lips once again, but she did, and without saying anything, she climbed on the bus, and she left. 

Hyun-Seok laughed at Baekhyun's face. 

__

A few weeks after that day, Ha-Neul asked him on Facebook if he would be her boyfriend.

Maybe, at any other time, Baekhyun would have said yes. But Baekhyun said no. He couldn't be with her. Not when he was still in love with Shinsoo. Not when his heart wasn't open to anyone else. Not when Ha-Neul deserved better.

They slowly drifted appart after that day, but Baekhyun knew he made the good choice.

__

Hyun-Seok did not agree with him.

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The final blow, came months after that, at the end of the school day, in the bus taking them back home. 

Well, it actually was a slow final blow, because it started during the afternoon, when they were waiting in the hallways for their teacher, before entering the classroom. Or maybe it started even before that, when Baekhyun wasn't actually paying attention. Maybe it started a few days earlier. Maybe a few weeks. Maybe a few months. There was no good answer, but what happened that afternoon was the last straw. 

Baekhyun was used to it, hearing the guys from his class talking about him, and saying he was an ugly fat cow. They weren't reallly imaginative, Baekhyun thought sometimes. 

Baekhyun would never say anything when they talked about him. First, because he had that image of the strong guy that nothing can affect, and Baekhyun didn't want people to see he was hurt. Second, because it didn't really matter to him, that they would talk like that. As long as it wans't about his friends, he was okay. 

When they talked about Hyun-Seok, Baekhyun would say something. When a girl talked about how jongdae would probably the hottest guy in their class, if he started to wear diffrent clothes, Baekhyun said something. But when it was about him, he didn't really care. He endured worse, a few insults like that weren't much.

He was used to it and he never said anything. But Hyun-Seok opened his mouth, and Baekhyun looked at him, his heart falling at his feet. 

It wasn't the first time, but Baekhyun always found excuses for him. 

Maybe he didn't hear properly.

Maybe he was laughing at something else.

Maybe he was thinking about something.

Baekhyun didn't want to think that his best friend would laugh about something like that. He didn't want to think that his best friend would laugh at him, instead of laughing with him.

But Hyun-Seok did. Baekhyun couldn't really ignore it anymore. Not when Jongdae was looking at him like that, almost saying sorry with his eyes because of Hyun-Seok's behavior. Jongdae didn't do anything, but still felt guilty. Baekhyun couldn't ignore it anymore, and all the laughs came back at once, punching him in the guts, telling him to accept the truth. 

Baekhyun didn't say anything to Hyun-Seok, because he didn't know what to say. So instead of starting a fight, he talked about something else. Hyun-Seok asked him something about Jongin, and Baekhyun answered. Jongdae looked at him, and Baekhyun knew that he understood. 

__

They were waiting for the bus, when Baekhyun started talking about Jongin again because of the text the latter had just sent to him. He didn't get it, why suddenly Hyun-Seok sighed deeply, and started screaming at him. He didn't get it because as far as he knew, Baekhyun stopped talking about Jongin all the time. After Hyun-Seok's message on Facebook, Baekhyun had been careful, sometimes asking Jongdae to tell him if he was talking about his new friend too much. Jongdae never said anything, because Baekhyun wasn't talking the one talking about Jongin. Hyun-Seok was. Asking question, making comparisons, being curious. Baekhyun answered, but he never elaborated. Hyun-Seok was the one always mentionning Jongin, without even knowing him. So when Hyun-Seok told him to stop, Baekhyun didn't understand, and after what happened earlier, he didn't even want to calm him down. Baekhyun climbed on the bus, followed by Jongdae, and they both sat down at the very end, not looking at Hyun-Seok sitting a few seats in front of them. 

__

Baekhyun pulled out his phone when he felt it vibrating against his thigh. He unlocked it to see a text message from Hyun-Seok. Lookin up to see Jongdae watching him, he showed him the notification, before opening the message.

Once again, Baekhyun felt like Hyun-Seok and him were in a romantic relationship. One that was ending, at that very moment. 

" You and I are done. I'm tired of always being second. Always having to hear about Jongin. Don't even talk to me ever again. I'm done. With you and Jongdae both. "

Honestly, Baekhyun thought it was a dumb text. He was tired and he didn't want to deal with it. He wasn't sure if he was actually the one at fault, or if it was Hyun-Seok. At that very moment, all he wanted to do was be home and sleep. 

The fact that Hyun-Seok ended his relationship with Jongdae as well didn't affect the later. Jongdae and Hyun-Seok knew each other a long time. They met during the first year of middle school, but Jongdae never felt like he was important to Hyun-Seok. Truth was, Hyun-Seok would often act friendly towards Jongdae when he had no one else, but as soon as he had new friends, Jongdae was forgotten. Jongdae never said anything, because he hated confrontation, but that message was actually good news to him. He felt lighter, all of the sudden.

__

They didn't talk, for a few days. Maybe a week, maybe a bit more.

Baekhyun told everything to Jongin, and Jongin felt bad. He said he was sorry. He didn't want to cause any troubles, he didn't want Baekhyun to lose his best friend. Baekhyun told him he didn't have to be sorry. Jongin did not do anything. Jongin was nice. Jongin was a good guy.

Jongdae was sleeping at his place, on a Friday night, when the house phone started ringing. Mama answered it, asking who it was, and turning to Baekhyun because it was Hyun-Seok. Jongdae looked at him, frowning, and Baekhyun grabbed the phone, running upstairs with Jongdae, to be alone in his room. He answered, cold and distant. 

" What ? "

Hyun-Seok was crying. It was painful to hear. Baekhyun felt like his heart was being torn, ripped. He hated it. He hated the fact that Hyun-Seok wasn't happy. Wasn't smiling, or laughing. Baekhyun felt guilty. Baekhyun felt like he was a piece of for making him feel like that. 

But Hyun-Seok. Hyun-Seok did things he couldn't forgive. Nor forget.

Hyun-Seok, since that very last time they talked to each other, said things about Baekhyun's life, Baekhyun's brothers, Baekhyun's nightmares, to some people in their class. There were things, that Baekhyun never said to anyone, except Hyun-Seok. Personnal. Important. Tragic. Disgusting. Depressing. Secret. And Hyun-Seok opened his mouth, babbling about it to the worst people.

So yes, Baekhyun hated himself for making Hyun-Seok cry, but when his best friend asked him to forgive him, Baekhyun just couldn't.

" I'm done with you, Hyun-Seok. I've forgiven too many times before. I'm tired of always having to forgive you. It was the last time Hyun-Seok. "

Hyun-Seok cried harder. He said he could understand. He said he didn't want to hurt him. He said he wouldn't be mad at Baekhyun. And he asked for Jongdae. Baekhyun asked him how he knew Jongdae was there, and Hyun-Seok told him he called at Jongdae's place, and his mom told him. Baekhyun blinked, and looked at his friend, sitting on his bed, frantically shaking his head no, his hands moving fast in front of him, and he understood.

" Jongdae doesn't want to talk to you."

The last blow ended just like that. Over the phone, Jongdae watching him ending everything with his best friend, and Hyun-Seok crying loudly on the other side of the handset. 

High school was fun.