Being in love didn't really change anything in Baekhyun's life, he was still the same idiot who never once said anything about his friend's forearms, and who was obsessed with a certain band.

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On a really sunny day, in April, Jongdae didn't really had any other choice than to take off his jacket. 

Maybe, indeed, Baekhyun was the kind of idiot who couldn't see things when they were just in front of his nose, but that day, it just all started to make sense in his head.

It didn't take more than a few seconds to realize how Jongdae's scars were identical to Mama's.

It didn't take more than a few seconds, to understand that Mama's life had been hard before he was born.

Before he even was existing.

Before any of his siblings were alive. 

Mama didn't want to talk about it, when Baekhyun asked.

Mama didn't want to talk about the scars.

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Baekhyun learned, later, that when she was younger, Mama was living in the streets, with her three other children.

Baekhyun had a big sister, and two brothers. Apparently.

And Mama haven't seen them since the younger was three years old.

Mama was living in the streets, and they took her babies away.

Baekhyun, from his thirteen years old's perspective could understand why.

He didn't understand though, why they left Mama in the streets. 

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Maybe knowing how Mama was suffering on the inside, made Baekhyun realized that he didn't got it as bad as he thought.

Or maybe it made him wonder if he was the problem, as it seemed like every person around him were hurting themselves, in a way.

It felt selfish to think that everything was his fault, because the world didn't revolve around him.

And it felt wrong to think that he wasn't at fault 'cause who was he to say that he wasn't a problem ?

Baekhyun was lost. 

Seemed like demons were hard to kill.

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Baekhyun didn't want to make Jongdae uncomfortable. He didn't want to ask why. Or when it did start. He didn't want to be the one to make him break down and cry.

Baekhyun just let him know that he knew about the blade.

And Jongdae, after a few weeks, was talking about his life like Baekhyun was his best friend.

Jongdae never hid in the bathroom again.

Not until he was 17.

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Jongdae and Baekhyun never once stopped talking about their common interests. They never once stopped writing fanfictions together, and they never once stopped listening to the same music.

As time was running, Baekhyun and Jongdae grew closer, and they started to hang out with a guy from their class, Minhyuk.

Soon, the three boys would never be seen one without the other, and Baekhyun, sometimes, almost forgot that he was in pain.

Almost. Until he would go home, and would be alone again.

Then Jongdae would chat with him online, and everything would be kind of okay again. 

Baekhyun's life was easy, if you asked him.

He was happy, kind of (he wasn't sure what happiness felt like), when he was around people, and he was sad, depressed, and on the verge of giving up, when he was alone. 

Then there was their music, it felt like oxygen was feeling up his lungs, and he would often fall asleep, his phone blasting up the lyrics that made him stay.

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No one never asked Baekhyun if he was okay, because Baekhyun was always smiling.

Always laughing.

Always joking.

Truth be told, Baekhyun was the funny guy of the group.

Jongdae was the pretty one.

Minhyuk was the smart one.

Still, Baekhyun wasn't stupid.

Working, homeworks, studying. He just never really knew how to do that. Baekhyun would just come home, and write. Chat with Jongdae, and write. Be in school, and write.

Baekhyun wrote. It's all he could do.

Baekhyun, from his overweight body, red cheeks, and round face, never thought he was ugly. He never really thought he was handsome either.

Then came middle school, and it just kind of doomed on him, that he was not what people would call beautiful.

Fat, yes.

Big, yes.

Disgusting, yes.

But beautiful, it never happened.

It was painful, to hear it. 

It was also painful to not be able to wear the clothes he liked.

And it was painful to know that Mee Na would never looked at him like that.

But Baekhyun wouldn't say anything about it. And just like when he was a baby; pain would crush him, and he would never cry. It was just easier this way, he thought.

It was even easier to pretend that what people said didn't affect him one bit.

And just like that, Baekhyun became the strong one.

The one who didn't care.

Who didn't give a .

And the one who had enough self confidence that no one could break him down.

Baekhyun never once said he loved himself.

He would joke, saying people were jealous.

He would say he didn't give a about what they would think.

He never said he loved himself.

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Baekhyun broke down more than a couple of times. Not that anyone cared. (Not that anyone knew. Know.).

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No one ever asked Baekhyun if he was okay, and so Baekhyun started asking everyone around him if they were.

He knew how to hide the pain. He possibly couldn't be the only one.

He knew what it was like to feel useless. He didn't want anyone else to feel that way.

They never asked him.

Baekhyun would ask them.

Several times a day. Just to be sure.

Just in case.