After he had the talk with Kibum he felt their relationship become stronger. He wanted to do even more for Kibum. Prove to him that he was changing for the better. They spent more time together with Jonghyun being even more attentive and affectionate with Kibum. And Kibum opening up to him more and more everyday about some of his insecurities with his condition. 

He took note of everything he said including how one of Kibum's worse fears was falling. Since he wasn't able to see he couldn't determine how long or how hard the fall would be. He said it was one of the most scariest thing for him as a child since he had a horrifying experience with one. 

He told him about how when walking down a flight of stairs in his home he missed a step and tripped causing him to fall down the whole flight. He ended up at the hospital with a few bruises and broken ankle, but the fall scared him so bad he refused at one point to climb any stairs or go anywhere that didn't have a flat surface. 

If he even tripped or felt the possible of falling he would get anxiety attacks. At that point his family moved to another home with only one floor instead of two. He eventually lessened his fear of falling but it never completely left him.

But Jonghyun became a witness one day to one of his panic attacks after an incident.

I️t It was just a regular outing for the two one day. Jonghyun wanted to go out to the mall and dragged his boyfriend along with him. He got what he came for (along with a few surprises for Kibum) and just decided to walk around at a near by park for a bit with Kibum.

was the beginning of winter so they were bundled up in scarves and big jackets. The cold weather was causing their cheeks and noses to turn red. But in Jonghyun’s opinion it was absolutely adorable on Kibum. But because of his heightened senses Kibum was really cold and shivered a lot more than Jonghyun. He suggested they go home but Kibum said he wanted to spend this time with just the two of them for a little while longer.

“Baby your shivering so bad, let’s go home.” Jonghyun said bringing Kibum closer to him. He held his cane in his opposite hand.

“I’m fine Jjong~stop saying that.” Kibum sang.

Jonghyun huffed. Even through this gloves he could feel how cold Kibum’s hands were.

“Besides this gives me more time for me to convince you to tell me what you got me.” He smirked.

“I told you it’s a secret~”

Kibum laughed and playfully squeezed Jonghyun’s arm.

They continued making small talk and enjoying each other’s presecence like they often did. Jonghyun was so busy staring at Kibum as he talked that he failed to noticed the ground. The sidewalk was risen up between one of the cracks, but he realized this too late as Kibum tripped over it almost causing him to fall. Jonghyun became hyper aware and  was quick enough to grab before he tipped over too far and fell flat on his face.

The sudden drop caused Kibum to let out a scream and he frantically clutches onto Jonghyun’s biceps tightly. Kibum was breathing heavily and his heart beat quickened.

“Kibum? Kibum! It’s okay, I’ve got you!” Jonghyun said trying to gain his attention. He was holding him close by his waist as Kibum kept whipping his head around as if he was trying to find the source of his fall.

“W-what was that?! Why d-did I fall?” 

He was so in shock that he had a few tears escape his eyes.

Jonghyun tried to wipe them away but Kibum flinched away. His senses were heightened and he was alert and hyper aware now.

He started breathing more heavily, he was starting to hyperventilate.

“Kibum calm down. It’s okay baby, I’m not gonna let you go.”

Jonghyun said caressing his back.

But Kibum wasn’t listening.

“No...” Kibum chanted lowly.

“Kibum-“

Jonghyun paused as he watched him release more tears.

Kibum was definitely having a panic attack and he needed to calm him down immediately.

“I’m going to sit you down at a bench Bummie, okay?” He said calmly.

“Follow me-“

“Wait! My cane! Give me my cane please...”

Kibum said keeping his legs still when Jonghyun tried to move him.

Jonghyun had grown accustomed to holding his cane whenever they went out together. He had it settled in the hand that     wasn’t holding Kibum’s hand. 

He frowned slightly at the fact that Kibum didn’t trust him in that moment to lead him over to a bench. But he understood that he was panicking at the moment.

He gave him his cane and still held his hand as Kibum still tapped around with the cane.

Once he sat him down he nealed in front of him. He grabbed both of his his hands and them with his thumb. Kibum was still breathing hard and had his eyes closed shut.

“Breathe Bummie, breathe.” He said to him calmly.

People were walking by and looked concerned but Jonghyun gave them a small smile or head nod to let them know they were fine.

Kibum’s tears had dried on his rosey cheeks, but his eyes were still red rimmed.

“Talk to me Bummie.” He said.

He had never helped someone through a panick attack, he wasn’t sure exactly what to do.

“What are you thinking about? Talk to me.” He tried again when he didn’t get a response.

“M-me...” Kibum chokes out.

“You?” 

“Me f-falling...w-when I was l-little...d-down the stairs...”

Jonghyun nodded. He kissed Kibum’s cold palms. He hummed against letting him know he wanted him to continue.

“I was scared...I w-was going to fall like that a-again...I hadn’t fallen or tripped l-like that in a while...” Kibum hiccuped.

“I’m sorry...” Kibum whispered and this made him start crying again.

“What? No, no, no. Don’t apologize baby, I’m the one who should apologize. I wasn’t paying enough attention to our surroundings.” He said ashamed. 

“I-i just don’t like the floating feeling...of falling...” Kibum said.

Jonghyun hummed understanding his words. It must be scary to fall and not know what it was that caused it and where you were falling and how hard you would fall.

“I won’t let you fall again, as long as your in my care.” 

Kibum gave a small smile at that and Jonghyun could see him visibly relax more.

Kibum’s breathing started to slow down and he closed his eyes. Jonghyun kept encouraging him to get his breathing back  normally by whispering sweet words.

Kibum took his hands from Jonghyun grasps, which caused a brief moment of sadness in Jonghyun until he saw he lifted up his hands towards him signaling he wanted a hug.

Jonghyun gladly raised up to sit next to his boyfriend and ingulf him in a warm hug.

Kibum squeezed him tightly as Jonghyun caressed his back.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry.” Jonghyun whispered in his ears.

“C-can we go back to my place?” Kibum asked tentatively.

“Of course.”

#%#

The couple had been dating for a couple of months now (at the amazement of Minho he never ceased to tell Jonghyun how surprised and proud of him he was for keeping someone this long).

Jonghyun was spending the night with Kibum. It wasn’t their first night spent together, Jonghyun had staying over several times over the part few months upon Kibum’s request. 

Jonghyun had often invited him over to his place but he realized it was safer to be at Kibum’s since he knew the layout better and could move around easier since he was somewhere familiar.

They were both laying in bed relaxing after work. They wanted to just have a nice quiet and relaxing evening. They were in Kibum’s bed. Jonghyun was laying against the bed post with his laptop on the side watching a movie as Kibum laid his head on his chest and listening to the sounds of the movie and his boyfriends heartbeat.

Kibum had his arms wrapped around Jonghyun’s torso as he laid against him with a small smile on his face and Jonghyun’s free hand played with Kibum’s hair.

Kibum was starting to slowly fall asleep when Jonghyun’s phone started to ring. 

At this Jonghyun stopped playing with Kibum’s hair and he stiffened a little.

Based off his reaction Kibum figured Jonghyun would leave. Kibum sighed and lifted himself off of him. Without saying anything Jonghyun got up out of the bed and took his phone with him.

Kibum pouted.

The past few weeks Jonghyun had been getting some mysterious calls and wouldn’t tell Jonghyun the truth about who was calling.

Kibum knew he was lying because he could hear the slight change in his voice, it wavered and got a little higher when he lied. Kibum was able to tell because of his heightened hearing and based off of other  times Jonghyun had lied.

The couple didn’t fight much but this sometimes set Kibum off.

He knew Jonghyun was lying and Jonghyun just wouldn’t acknowledge it.

It was about ten minutes before Jonghyun came back. 

Jonghyun cleared his throat and settled himself back in the bed. He tried to pull Kibum close to him again so they could cuddle but Kibum resisted.

“Another important phone call you can’t tell me about?” Kibum said.

Kibum could practically hear Jonghyun roll his eyes.

“Yes, Kibum.”

They sat in silence for a while, Jonghyun started up the movie again when he realized Kibum wasn’t going to cuddle with him.

He was getting nervous. 

Kibum was scowling and had his arms crossed.Jonghyun was lying through his teeth. And he absolutely hated that.

“How long are you going to lie to me Jonghyun?” The silence was broken.

“Kibum,” Jonghyun whined.

“I told you its just some business at work I need to take care of.” 

“You always talk about your work with me, but when you get these secretive phone calls about ‘work’ you act all weird. And they always call you at night, it just seems strange to me.”

Jonghyun rubbed his forehead with his pointer finger and thumb and groaned.

“How many times are we going to have this argument, baby?” He pleaded.

“Don’t baby me. I hate when you lie to me.”

“I’m not-“

“I swear if you tell me your not lying I’ll call Jinki to kick you out.”

If there’s one thing that can piss Jonghyun off, it’s the mention of Jinki.

And threatening him with Jinki is no better.

“Wow. No need to call your savior, I’ll just go.” Jonghyun said getting up.

“Fine.” Kibum didn’t even try to keep him there. He was annoyed and fed up.

Jonghyun got out of bed and grabbed his lap top and his clothes. As he started putting on his pants he saw Kibum slowly start to lay down and get himself comfortable under the covers, but what made him pause in his actions was the sad look on Kibum’s face that he probably didn’t realize he was making.

He immediately regretted his words not seeing a reason to leave, he was just getting defensive.

He hated arguing with him.

It always left him feeling like afterwards. 

He usually never cared when his partners got mad at him, even going as far as to do certain things he knew would piss them off on purpose so he could get the fact of him not giving two s about the