A/N: Ready? This chapter is quite long and quite painful. I've separated it into two parts. You can read the first part and take a break then continue later.

Next will be the last chapter.

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• Chapter 56 •

Previously, 
 

"I'm sorry" The man sigh.
 

"Its either give her the surgery first that may save her life, but you're going to lose your daughter, or your daughter can be saved but you'll lose your wife."
 

"The mother is unconscious. Since you're the only guardian, we need your words" The doctor added.
 

Chaeyoung loss the colour from his face. It is as if his heart has suddenly stopped beating and all the blood has run down into his boots. He sways for just a moment before the doctor caught him and lowers him to the chair. Chaeyoung let out a heavy lump of air, a heaviness, an unyielding sorrow.
 

"Save her........"
 

"The baby"



 

• Chapter 57•

|Part I|
 

A voice echo through the empty hallway. Chaeyoung turns his head to the side, finding the source of the voice that interrupted his sentence then watch as Tzuyu marching towards him. The younger just finished filling needed paper in the hospital's office and rush to the surgery room. His pounding heart stops as he heard the doctor's explanation and quickly jump into the scene and all eyes are on him.
 

"The baby. Save the baby Hyung, that's what Mina noona wished for." Tzuyu sighed, standing next to Chaeyoung. He put his palm on his brother's shoulder, gripping it as he forces himself to brings up the truth. Knowing fully it's the worst choice you'll ever give to a man, to a father.
 

Chaeyoung shut his eyes momentarily. There are two people fighting at each other, both defending their sides and two paths. Right and left. Choices cannot be undone and he knows once the road has been trodden, it shall disappear. And everything is happening inside his mind. He's basically standing in the edge of a cliff surrounded by a pack of wolves and under him is the stillness ocean that is murderous, staying or jumping off wouldn't mean much because both bring the same outcome, effect to him, both are killing him. Then, should he let Mina's decision be the determinant? Or is it so wrong to be selfish?
 

Chaeyoung heaves a deep sigh, bringing him back to reality. He has always had the answer when it comes to priority. H has always known but it doesn't mean the love he has for the other is much lesser, he will lose a part of his soul and it is irreplaceable. He takes a quiet moment to ask for forgiveness and pray. Having what the doctor had said to him giving him a clear view of what his final words will be. Child is a gift, a pure soul and it may be only his imagination but the time his eyes flutter open, a single white light penetrating the place coming from the end of the hallway and in it, stands a small little girl with two ponytails, wearing the beanie her grandmother had knitted and a pink winter mittens her mother had made for her and those little hands are waving at him.
 

A faint smile formed against Chaeyoung's lips causing his eyes to crease as he let an effortless tear to escaped.
 

"Save my wife," He decides.
 

The doctor nods "I suppose what I had said becomes a contributing factor. It's about quality of life and survival chances. That's a wise decision. I'll try my best" He gives an assurance smile and quickly walks away. The automatic sliding door open and he disappears inside along with nurses who comes running while pushing a trolley containing boxes. Chaeyoung knows what it is, blood bags.
 

"W-wait, Hyung! Mina noona didn't want this! You heard her don't you?" Tzuyu exclaims, staring straight at his brother who's wordlessly eyeing the trolley that passes by them.
 

Chaeyoung pulls his eyes from the highly polished linoleum floor to catch a glimpse of the surgery room then turns to his younger brother. He feels so suffocated, so heavy as if the weight of the world is resting on his shoulder and there's nothing he could do about it but let the weight slowly crushes him. He knows what he has sacrificed and how the hole in his heart is the shape of the one he has lost that makes he feel the need to wipe away any non-existent tears that he wants to form but can't. And so there he is, sitting with his legs buckled, bleary-eyed and wet traces on his cheeks.
 

"Hyung" Tzuyu calls out, sitting next to Chaeyoung. The moment he sees his brother's hollow eyes, his heart breaks. He sighs and pulls Chaeyoung's limp body into a hug. They had been in this exact situation before and he couldn't possibly imagine everything Chaeyoung has gone through. His brother was the one who found their mother lying on the ground, breathless then telephoned the ambulance. Soon enough, Tzuyu returned from playing with his friends, too little to understand and only followed Chaeyoung boarding the ambulance. Before his father could arrive from work to the hospital, his mother slipped away to heaven.
 

Table death. She left them while she was under surgery while the two boys waiting outside, hoping to see their mother's smile again. At that time, it was Chaeyoung who had his arms wrapped around his little brother to assure him but now in the present, Tzuyu wonder how his brother has changed from someone who's bright to a man with despair.
 

Tzuyu tightens his hug when he feels his brother isn't responding, he seems lost and dead. He tries to lift his brother's body and slowly tap his shoulder. "Hyung, please. You worried me." His voice cracks as he grips Chaeyoung's arms and breaks the hug. Gazing into his brother's eyes, he says,
 

"Be strong and do not weep. Thinks of all the good time and be happy. I'll be watching over you keeping you out of harms. I've loved you all so dearly."
 

Chaeyoung raises his head, that words had soothed his ears that day. He still can hear it, playing inside his head.
 

"Mom's last words to us. We shouldn't disappoint her. Be strong Hyung. Everything will be fine. Your little brother promised" Tzuyu smiles and guide Chaeyoung's head and lay it on his shoulder. Rubbing his brother's back, he stares at the landscape of the operating theatres.







 

*  *  *  *

The walls have white wallpaper with a flower design pressed in it. On three of the walls hangs pictures of what seems to be endless fields of wildflowers. She has gained her consciousness and lay there quietly
She keeps her eyes closed, matching her breaths to the beeping of the machines that surrounded the bed, the only indications of her heartbeat, her existence. She can't feel her legs, the numbness has swollen her entire body. Curiosity slowly pried open her swollen eyes to meet a dismal view of a magnolia coloured room, the door is a navy blue.
 

She could still smell the plastic from the tubes that are in her nose and throat. She looks around, next to her bed stands a one-drawer nightstand and on top is a pink pitcher and cup filled with water and crushed ice. Judging by the IV she's hooked up to, she supposes she's in a hospital.
 

No one is inside the room. Realization comes hitting her mind as she quickly brings her hand and caresses her bump. It turns to a fist, gripping the patient's gown when she only feels her flat stomach. Before she calls for a name in desperation to know what had happened, the door opens revealing her sisters. For a moment, they stay glued at the frame door. It's the look they give her that disturbing enough. A look of sorrow, pity.
 

Her voice is scratchy like a pinecone and quiet like the sky before a storm, hurting her parched throat whenever she tries to speak. Despite the inability, she forces herself to form words.
 

"Unnie....wha-what--" She coughs and gulps before continuing as her sister has already sat on the chair next to the bed.
 

"Shh, it's--Just...take some rest. Mom and dad will be here in any second. Don't think about anything, for now, Mina." Sana assures, caressing the younger's cheeks while Momo is standing not far behind the oldest. Momo avoids Mina's gaze as her eyes never leave the floor. Mina isn't that oblivious to feels the tension, the dark aura surrounding them.
 

"Is..everything alright? Where is she? my daughter" No one answers her doubts and let her questions hanging in the air. Sana opens in hopes to say anything, anything to calm the youngest but she couldn't think of any. Mina eyed them suspiciously and wince as an axe buries itself inside her head. Her head hurts. She could only think of one person, someone that can answer her.
 

"Chaeyoungie" She calls out.
 

Sana who catches the almost not audible voice, slowly nods and about to stands when once again the door creaks open, catching everyone's attention. Stands a guy with a dried patch of brown that has wicked into the hem of his cream sweater and his white trousers. The man heaves a deep breath and rubs his face before he completely enters. Sana and Momo take it as a cue for them to leaves and give space and time for both the younger. When they walk past the guy, they give him a faint smile as Sana catches his hand and squeezes it before closing the door.
 

"Chaeyoungie, what happened? Our baby is she fine?...Is the baby in the incubator? Ahh yes, she must be...." Mina trails off and holds the guys' hands as he sits on the edge of the bed. She's expecting his greeting smile, but none comes. Instead, his mouth remains an uncharacteristic grim line amid his stubble. She brushes it off when a thought crossing her mind. Desperately with a hint of excitement, she asks for something he couldn't fulfil.
 

"Can you bring me there? Don't worry I'm strong enough for some short walk. I just....want to see her"
 

Chaeyoung stares quietly at her. Does the truth imprison us, or does it set us free? One thing we know for sure, the truth can hurt. Wounded us deeply and stubbornly linger for weeks, months, years or forever depends on how greater the pain it brings and how much it means to us. He doesn't know whether he should tell a twisted lie only until she's healed enough, until she's ready to accept it or should now be the time?
 

"Chaeyoungie?"
 

The guy snaps out of his trains of thought when he just stares blankly into nothing. He looks at her, sooner or later she'll find out. The lie comes with expectation. Expectation comes with hope. And hope is a promise that smiles and laughter are just around the corner. He doesn't want that, to light up a candle in her dark world only to harshly blows it away, snatching all hope she has build. For the better, pure truth is what she needs the most.
 

"I'm sorry," He started, succeeds to suppress his bursts of emotions as the pain inside moving like ocean waves just to speak his mind.
 

"Chaeyoungie.....is everything alr--"
 

"She's not here" He cut in. He scoots closer and grasps the girl's hand. Pushing himself, it becomes harder and harder to tell the truth when he himself is still not entirely accept the harshness of reality. "Our daughter is no longer here, Mina"
 

Mina pushes herself to sits up straight and looks at him with borrowed eyes, her expression giving away all of her thoughts. She's confused, doubting, suspicious.
 

"What do you mean by that?" Her tone changed drastically into fear and slight panic.
 

"She's gone. We...I lost her" His voice trails away as remorse hit him like a sledgehammer. He lowers his gaze then back to the ordinary orbs that are looking at him intently.
 

Mina watches as the guy shows no sign of retreating his words but stares deeply into hers. She suddenly freed her hand from his grips and slips out of bed then stands up, only to wobbling slightly before she holds the bed's rail for support. She recklessly takes off the tubes that are going on her nose, pulls out the IV tapes on her wrist and other wires and tubes attached to her body. Ignoring Chaeyoung's protest, she let her bare feet froze by the black and white checkered tile as she rushes towards the door.
 

"Mina, stop! What--" Chaeyoung tries to stop her frantic sudden behaviour in concern of her health. He catches her wrist and stands before her, stopping the girl from walking any further.
 

"Don't block my way. I will see her by myself" She breathes out, shoving the guy aside but Chaeyoung stands firmly resolution to not give in to her tempestuous voice and wraps his arms around her when she starts to be more aggressive. Trapped, Mina pushes him by the shoulder, each force becomes more and more stronger as time goes by causing Chaeyoung to staggered backwards.
 

"Don't lie to me! I'm going to the nursery" She moves as if some inexperienced person is controlling them remotely. Her brown eyes become watery as she slowly escapes from the shocked and bewildered state "Chaeyoung! Let me go!" Mina's voice raises an octave as she vents her emotions and frustration, hitting him on the chest. Her body rack with sobs as it hangs limp against Chaeyoung's while the guy supports her body and lift her up from falling to the ground as if her every muscle giving into gravity.
 

Chaeyoung who's numb to pain hurriedly embraces the brunette. At first, she is stiff but then she melts into his body, her arms limp, dangling like a doll. Without being aware of it Chaeyoung left-hand rises to her back. Then she begins to cry hysterically wetting his shirt.
 

It's more than crying, it's the kids of desolate sobbing that comes from a person drained of all hope. After her energy constantly drained out of her, the level of tiredness and weakness equates to insanity like her spirit temporarily dislocated. She sinks into his arms as what only left behind is raw emptiness that nibbles at her inside like a hungry rat. Her irises are threads scarlet and her eyeballs leave heavy in their sockets. Only muffles sobs fillings the room, and if it's not because of that small sounds Chaeyoung probably will though she has fainted.
 

Struggling to keep his tears silent, Chaeyoung looks to the glassy window up to the watery skies and heaven beyond. He has to believe his baby is safe up there, comfortable and warm. To look down would be to imagine small bean cold in a box, bereft of his cuddles and goodnight kisses.
 

"H-how..." She begins in a hushed tone, Her breaths are uneven and hitched occasionally."I am here, alive so she should have survived, why? Why didn't......."
 

Mina stops midway and pulls away from his embrace. Her eyes stared hard with an intensity that tightens Chaeyoung 's chest.
 

"You...you saved me?" Her voice cracks as she utters the question she's not willing to hear the answer.
 

"I...I'm sorry"
 

She can feel the hot tears already welling up in her eyes by the revelation. Another piece of her died, another strand of connection between them breaks and it's what she feared the most, it's the most valuable pieces worth her whole heart, her whole life more than anything.
 

"How could you...." She walks backwards and tightly clenches the bed rail, staying away from him but her fiery stare never once leaves the guy. So lost in that moment and the torment her brain is in. "She's just a little girl! Your own daughter!!" She spits out. It's too much. The emotions are too many to handle at once, the intensity is too high, she cannot remains purely rational.
 

Until the emotion subsides, it's virtually impossible to access reasoning centres of the brain to have a logical conversation and thus argument and confrontation based on anger, frustration and sarcasm are inevitable. And Chaeyoung knows it. To have a heated conversation now is dangerous as they'll hurt each other in the hurricane of harsh and horsed insult. Though he himself is drowned by sadness and grief, he tries to suppress the emotions as he knows he deserves the resentment and retort from the girl so he chooses to stay silent.
 

But his silence is unacceptable by the brunette. Her fist on the bed's rail tightens as she gazes him. Burning rage hissed through her body like deathly poison. She shakes her head slightly, how come the deep love she has for him always be the causes of the greatest pain he gives to her. How many more she has to sacrifice, the pain she has to endure, the chances she has to give.
 

"Why....why are you keep disappointing me?" Her voice lowered.
 

"Part of a life that isn't lived, but survived, endured the torment and grief. Knowing my daughter could be alive, breathing, growing if it's not because of me! To carry the burden of guilt throughout my life will drain me, it will torture me every single minute. I rather die than live like that Chaeyoung ah" She pleads. Streaming tears cleansed her red cheeks. Few droplets remain, forgetting their way as the path are sweep from beneath them, consequently