"Hold me close through the night.

Don't let me go, we'll be alright.

Touch my soul and hold it tight.

I've been waiting all my life."

— I Was Made For Loving You, Tori Kelly ft. Ed Sheeran

+++++

Seo Joohyun, keep calm. You've been in the industry for almost ten years, you can do this. It's only a minute broadcast. Calm your nerves. She mumbled to herself while looking at the mirror in front of her.

It was her solo debut, and the heavens must have pulled some strings. He was performing the same day and she needed to interview him about his second newly released album. It would've been better if one of her unnies was with her.

Her heart was beating rapidly, her emotions were churning inside her, and her mind was in disarray. She would be seeing him again after a year—a year after she ended their relationship on the phone.

Label mates from her own agency had given her a cold shoulder when they learned about the break up. He treated them like his own family, and even made lots of friends. He established a good relationship with her unnies and oppas (especially Super Junior) even to the sunbaes that's why they were more than disappointed when they found out that she ended their relationship over the phone. She remembered what her Taeyeon unnie told her, "It's okay if you want to break up with him whatever your reason is, but do it properly. We expected a lot from you. We're very disappointed, maknae."

Just because of another scandal with his drama co-star. Just because her reservations have once again caught up with her.

If she had only been undaunted and didn't let it get to her head. But what could she do? She is still a woman with a lot of insecurities and fears and she loathes herself for doubting him after all the endless loyalty, assurance, dedication and love he'd given her over the years they've been together since the show ended.

She first met him at a reality show when she was only twenty and he was twenty-two. She was from the legendary girl group, while he was still the struggling rookie. She was new to relationships, while he had a fair share of girlfriends. Their first meeting was awkward but gradually became comfortable—communication had been easier and natural.

She knew she had fallen when he pulled that stupid push-pull method on her for a month. She wanted to call him to ask why but it was not in her nature to call a guy first. She was a girl who never had the pleasure to fall in love. She's young, and so pure and innocent.

Until he came into her life.

He never gave her any reason to believe that he couldn't be trusted. She almost wanted him to tell her a lie because what they had back then was starting to feel like it was too good to be true. He was amazing, sweet and different. He had a loving unique personality, great sense of humor, and a smart thoughtful mind. He was honest, loyal, compassionate and respectful. He was a wonderful person to her—he'd been good to her, cared for her, accepted her and loved her. He's like a puzzle piece that didn't fit the rest of the puzzle but just right for only her. He felt like home.

He could be a spoiled brat whenever he felt like it. He sulked and whined into the corner when he couldn't eat hamburgers because she would incessantly scold him. Or when she refused to kiss him because he tasted like coffee. He's acts like a five-year-old most of the time and loved to play around with anyone especially when he was with his brothers. They were another side of him that she loved and embraced. He was the best person for her—her crooked kind of perfect.

That was why she was still afraid all this time. She thought finding someone like him couldn't be that easy. He was the first guy who she opened up to—the first guy who wanted to know every single piece of her. Layer by layer he unraveled underneath the Seohyun that the public knew. Her shell had become so thick over the years to where she wasn't sure if anyone could get through to her. But he did it in one fell swoop, and he made it look extremely easy. He'd successfully broken the wall that she built around herself, and she was never the same girl again.

She was pulled back in reality when she heard a knock on her dressing room. It was one of the staffs, "Seohyun-ssi, ten minutes and you're up."

"Yes, I'll be out."

She glanced at the mirror one last time and wanted to give herself a pat on the shoulder for not breaking down into tears. She fixed her hair, smiled at her reflection and stepped out of the room.

Her peripheral caught a familiar figure. He was talking to the other artists until he turned at her direction. His smile faded, and he just stood there looking at her. She stopped on her tracks involuntarily and once again got lost in his dark chocolate brown eyes. She felt her heart dropped and willed herself not to widen her eyes in shock when he smiled at her.

How can he smile at her like that after what happened to them? After she just threw away the almost six years they shared together because she was having reservations?

Maybe he moved on. I don't know what can happen in a year. Maybe he has someone who is not afraid to be with him as I am. Someone who can trust and love him without doubts. He deserves it. He deserves to be happy.

She knew he was staring at her while she was performing her hit single Mirage—the result of her longing for him after the break up. The song was blithesome in the original recording, but she arranged it in a way that she could perform with an acoustic guitar. She still wanted him to come back to her—it was selfish of her to even think about it but already accepted that it was now impossible.

And then it was his turn to hit off the stage. She watched silently as his fingers glide on the piano keys. He didn't perform the title track he used to sing in other music shows. Instead, it was another track in his album that was written in another language. Her heart skipped a beat when he looked at her direction while blurting the words, "'Cause I was made for loving you" ending his performance.

The short interview ended well albeit she could feel his stare whenever she looked at the camera. She couldn't look at his eyes for too long, or he might see through her soul. He always had this ‘ability’ that whenever he looked into her eyes, he could read whatever was going through her mind and that was the one thing she didn’t want to happen. Not now.

She was about to turn the knob of her dressing room after thanking the staffs when a hand wrapped around her wrist and pulled her to one of the empty rooms at the end of the hallway. The guy locked the door when they entered and turned to look at her.

"Why did you bring me here? I need to go back." She tried to get to the door but he didn't let her. He wouldn't let this girl run away from him again.

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