It is May—that time of the year when everything is pretty. The azure sky dotted with iridescent cotton candy clouds and flowers bloom under the afternoon sun. Animals leave their hiding spots, making the place more alive and vibrant. As I sit on the concrete steps outside my farmhouse, I’m thinking of you, Byun Baekhyun. 

I imagine your closed pair of eyes and slightly parted lips, sleeping underneath this same old Magnolia tree. The way you lay peacefully on my lap while I caressed your sharp jawline and swiped strands of hair away from your forehead.  As you slept, my hands found its way to yours, and I interlock it. It was insane how I can’t seem to stop smiling when I look at your serene yet ethereal face. I wished we could have stayed like this forever. 

But now, the very same spot is home to wildlife. I feel a pang of jealousy when I glance at a scurry of chipmunks scampering up the tree, with a mouthful of nuts in their expanded cheek pouches. Cottontails also leap out of their rabbit holes, scanning the area for prey. 

From a distance, I smile when a mother bird with worms pecked to its beak flies to her nest of chirping fledglings. She glides through the wind and perches on her nest. With patience and care, she deliberately inserts food down the fledglings’ throat. The chirping becomes softer almost instantly. The fledglings then stretch its diminutive body and hop onto the nest made of broken twigs, while the mother sticks its head, being vigilant for incoming predators. 

I am sure you are not pondering about me right now. We—you—broke up with me without rhyme or reason, but I wish to know how well you are coping with life. Are you suffering from sleepless nights? You used to get insomnia and would phone me up at night, while I put you to sleep with my terrible singing. Are you eating three meals a day? You used to complain about your professor assigning tonnes of homework, thus hadn’t had time to eat adequately. 

I’m still thinking about you—even at this very moment.

Exactly eight months ago, you brought me to a posh restaurant in the middle of a bustling city. You arrived in black sweatshirts which rendered me speechless as that was the clothing I’ve brought for you on our first anniversary. It was casual yet elegant which I vividly recalled praising myself for choosing an outfit that suits you perfectly. Then came your hair that caught my attention. It was sleek and striking like a charming prince that walked out from a fairytale book. 

We dined in private and a plethora of my favourite cuisines were served. We fed each other and had hearty conversations which caused laughter to reverberate around the room. When I thought the dinner was over, a bottle of grand champagne was served, and you almost spilt it all over your shirt when we had a love shot. We chuckled so much back then but everything fell apart afterwards.

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