On the Saturday before exams, the sun is shining brightly and Athena wonders if that means spring will be on the way soon. She is strolling around her block, trying her best to clear her head.

With finals coming up, and their college entrance exams, and the trial, Athena realized she needed to take a breather, a big one. She wasn't sure if a walk would help that much, with the cold weather and all, but she was kind of feeling better. Still, her thoughts stray to Felix and how she hasn't spoken to him since a week or so ago. The feelings she is trying to shake away all resurface at the thought and Athena groans. So much for a mind-clearing walk.

Just as Athena rounds the corner back onto her street, Felix appears. He's walking down the steps of his front porch when he notices her first. She is clearly distracted, eyes trained to the ground in front of her feet as she makes her way across the road.

Felix doesn't know what comes over him but he runs out towards the girl. They meet in the middle of the empty street, with Felix's hand slightly grasping her shoulder as he turns her focus to him.

"Uh, Felix?" Athena sputters out. "What are you doing?"

"Why are you avoiding me?" he replies instead.

Athena's mouth just opens slightly, as if she were about to say something but was also too shocked to do so. Felix pulls his hand back from her but keeps his gaze firmly planted on her. He wasn't going to leave without getting an answer from the girl.

"I wasn't... I haven't-"

"Please don't lie to me Athena. You've been avoiding me," Felix interrupts. His eyes shift to the side slightly as an embarrassed blush plasters across his cheeks. "I mean, I've been avoiding you too. Ever since we almost... you know, again."

The last part comes out as a whisper and both of them feel a buzz of warmth rush through them at the thought of their kiss.

"I just... I know that kiss meant something, okay? I know, at least for me, that it did and I don't want to pretend like this feeling, whatever it may be, isn't real."

Athena turns away from Felix. She wants to agree, because everything he's said is exactly how she feels, but she can't. She just can't.

"Felix, I don't want to talk about it," she mutters.

Felix shakes his head in disagreement and moves closer to her. "I can't do that Athena. Not when I know that you felt something too."

"Please, drop it Felix. I can't do this right now."

"Why? Why can't you? What is wrong with having feelings Athena?"

"There's nothing wrong with it Felix! Okay? Is that what you want to hear?" Athena exclaims, turning back to face him. "There's no shame in having feelings, I've been told enough to know that now."

"Then, why can't you accept that I might have feelings for you? I know last week I shouldn't have tried to push myself on you and I'm really sorry for that, I know that's why you've been avoiding me and-"

"It was- I wasn't avoiding you because I didn't want you to kiss me," Athena says softly.

Felix's eyes soften at her words and he pulls her closer to him, holding her hands like they were his lifeline. He tilts her chin up so she's facing him.

"Then why?" He asks.

Athena holds his gaze and isn't sure of what to do. She likes Felix, a lot, but it wasn't right. No matter what Dr. Kim said, or Felix or her friends, she didn't deserve this. Not yet, and maybe never. At this thought, Athena pulls away and distances them further.

"I want to be there for you Athena, please, I just want to help you."

She doesn't say anything and Felix releases a frustrated groan, running his fingers through his hair.

"Every time I get so close to thinking that you trust me, you shut me out. Every. Single. Time. Why do you do it Athena? Why are you so distant all the time, why won't you just let me in?"

"Because I'm a murderer!"

Silence falls over them. Athena has tears beginning to form at the corners of her eyes and she shuts them, trying her best to blink them away.

"What?"

"I killed him Felix. I killed Hwang Hyunjin."

"Athena," Felix starts, walking toward her. "That's not true."

"You weren't even here! How would you know anything?" Athena's voice had risen but she didn't even care. Her emotions were running at an all time high and she needed to get away. 

"I killed him Felix. I watched him die right in front of me and didn't do a thing. I just watched him fall, lifelessly. And so I don't deserve what ever feelings you have for me, okay? That's just it."

"Athena..." but Felix trails off, unsure of if anything he could say would change her mind.

"I need to go."

Athena runs off in the direction of her house, leaving Felix alone in the road.

~~~

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