Every part in highschool, every nook and cranny, is all just a bunch of drama. In Lisa's life, things could have gone a different way but no, her bestfriend had to ruin it all. She was no longer grateful of her presence, her name in her contact list, her voice when she only whispered. Everything about Jennie Kim, her bestfriend since elementary was now so wrong to her. Of course, Jennie Kim is pretty, that was a bonus. Jennie Kim was just found out to be straight out mean, something that betrayed Lisa.

 

His arm slumped around her shoulders and brought her close. Close enough till their heads bumped since Lisa was a bit tall and his breath blew one of her loose hair strands. She couldn't help but giggle at the thought of being held this close by someone. Someone she'd been dreaming to have to herself since her first year in highschool. Dreams do come true, she thought to herself, bringing her hand onto his chest and feeling his warmth. That's why it's every person's job to protect that dream. 

 

But what would that mean for Jennie? 

 

"You smell nice." He broke the silence and folded his arm that was around her to tickle the side of her head. A grin carved in his face when he received Lisa rubbing her cheek against his hand. "What are you thinking about..." 

 

She swore she heard him say 'baby'. They were just mere words but they were sweet enough to make her close her eyes. In her head, she wanted to disappear with him. She wanted to run into a world that focused on only the two of them. There would be no one standing in between them. But that would mean no one else would stand beside her. Where Jennie should be. "Her." 

 

He continued to play with her hair, finding an angle to see the best of her beauty. But she was beautiful all over and he was confused where to look at. He looked at her glowing skin, her puffy nose, her silky hair, her eyes that were the most beautiful windows to the soul he had ever seen. He was blessed to have her. "She doesn't matter to me." 

 

She laughed and looked at his lips for a while then back to his small but attentive eyes. "She's beautiful." Lisa whispered before zipping her lips tight, fighting herself to say her next line. "She'll steal everything from me." 

 

"No she won't." Bobby chuckled, leaning into her face while rubbing his thumb on her soft, soft cheek. His voice was soft, low, secretive and Lisa loved to listen to it. She had him now, all of him. Jennie Kim can't steal it from her. "I mean, I wouldn't get why she would like me though. She hardly knows me plus I'm always hanging out with Irene or Seulgi so, if understanding girl logic, wouldn't that-" 

 

"Yes, if understanding girl logic, that would be totally unattractive." Lisa rolled her eyes on him and got off his chest sharply. She stood on the tip of her alertness as Bobby spoke. Yes, it is true that he hangs out with Irene and Seulgi a lot. But did he just have to state that? It was the one thing that annoyed Lisa so much since day one, seeing bobby with Irene and Seulgi. It pulled her down, made her feel like the last car in a race. She hated how he stated it when she was all his now. 

 

"Anyways, she's my bestfriend since elementary so I'm not going to give up 10 years of friendship." Reluctantly, Bobby sighed as Lisa lifted herself off of his lap. His warmth retreated from her body and Lisa felt cold but strong. "I'll fix everything, okay? But she's not gonna have you." She said sternly. 

 

He looked up at her and gave her a wanting look in his eyes that pleaded like a child. He started to crawl towards her, his legs almost unfolded and his arms stretched to meet the soft surface of her legs. The sight sent waves of relief on Lisa. Her love at first sight, crush through out the entire high school was crawling towards her like he needed her. Lisa knew, no one had ever seen him like this and no one has ever felt the sensation of being kissed by him on the knees. Bobby was all hers. 

 

~

 

A quiet environment like the library was the perfect dwelling place for a certain girl in school. Her favorite spot in the study haven was by the window that viewed the school's track and mini field. She loved that spot because, according to what her friends say, she looked mysterious and gentle. Especially when she crosses her legs and leans on one arm on the table, Lisa would always comment on her that she's beautiful. 

 

But Jennie knew there was no other meaning behind the compliments. There were times she'd blush, stammer, giggle but in the end of the day, Lisa wasn't hers. She had first met her trying to escape two bullies who were chasing her next to the playground swing. At that time, Jennie's small eyes saw everything in Lisa and as if it were lamplight attracting a critter, Jennie has always stood up for her from that day on. In that chair, the same question haunted her mercilessly every minute yet Jennie chosed to be courageous to face an answer. Lisa is standing up against her, so what should she do? 

 

It all started with silence, Jennie thought. She loved silence, she loved how it can be deafening at the same time, convenient for her busy mind. Perhaps Jennie has just stayed too silent all these years. It was normal for every school girl to have a crush and unsurprisingly, Lisa had had her eyes on a particular boy for a long time, all of which Jennie was aware of. She clearly knew that Lisa knew nothing of the guy except of his favorite color, clothing brand, favorite food, hobby, passion. And so what, what was she gonna do with that information? 

 

Jennie was dumbfounded but wasn't belittling Lisa for her "shallow" thinking. She just wished Lisa knew the other truth her heart held. That she wished Lisa knew she loved her. It was never the same for Jennie anymore ever since Lisa stepped into her life. She gave her moments when they'd cry, laugh, just talk and still have a great time, she gave Jennie colour. And for that, Jennie is obssessed with the younger girl more than anyone. 

 

The moment Lisa came to her today with the news with Bobby, Jennie's world was a shattered glass. Silent for years, waiting, hoping, praying, and someone else takes her spot. "I love Bobby too." She said softly. In her head, Jennie was at war with herself. So many loopholes kept grabbing at her that she was confused at which direction should her thinking go. Loving Bobby, that would never happen for her even if he was a nice and sweet guy. It had nothing to do with gender either. Jennie was just.. gay for Lisa. Having kept silent for years, she decided she wouldn't back down without a fight. There can be more to her life than just a dead end. And even if it risks her friendship with Lisa, so be it. At least, she thought, 'I have done something brave for you even though I failed trying.' 

 

And that was it. End of discussion with herself. She is to compete with Bobby for Lisa even if that meant lying to herself that she loved him. 

 

~

 

"Hey." The charm chimed through the room before a rushed powerful swing of the door. Jennie's eyes focused first on her stainless barista tag on her uniform as her mind thought of her tardy colleague at work known as Chaeyoung. After a quick rub from her handkerchief, she looked up the counter, ready to face Chae with an exhausted smile but was surprised to see a different face in the room. 

 

"Lisa?" Jennie blinked twice from disbelief. "Store is closed. The sign on the window has been hanging for the past half hour?" She said while grabbing the straw container and putting it elsewhere to whipe the counter. This was her chance, she thought. But Jennie wasn't one of those quick thinkers who still knew what to do if things didn't go out as planned. Her plan was to make a call to Lisa after she arrived home for the notebook she forgot to return. 

 

"I know. I just want to talk to you." Lisa replied whilst walking to the high seated stools by the window and grabbed them by the legs. Jennie watched in confusion as the younger girl dragged the stool till it was right in front of the counter she was cleaning and took a seat. Only then, Jennie noticed the red and teary eyes Lisa carried. "Listen," 

 

Jennie gave her full attention. 

 

"I dont want you gone, okay? You've been with me since elementary and it's hard to let go of you. So I just came here to say that…" Lisa cut herself off as her mind searched for more words she could use. By this body language, Jennie could already conclude that the younger came here without properly rehearsing her lines mentally. "That I still want to be friends with you even if we both like the same guy. And that I hope we can come to an understanding about this because Bobby loves me too and I-"

 

"And you want me to get out of the circle?" Jennie interrupted, now holding her straw container and wiping it clean of hand marks. Her eyes were fixated on Lisa's that were going all over the place. For a moment, Jennie thought she was talking to a child because of Lisa's tone and never ending statements. 

 

"Well yes, but not completely. I mean, I still want you as my friend and Bobby would even like to befriend you so I hope there's no bitter feelings for you right now, I just -" 

 

"Want to be happy with him?" 

 

"Yes! Thank you for the help, geez, you still know how to read my mind." Lisa exclaimed, her hands dropping from playing with her hair to the side of her legs. Her heart felt like it had gone through some exercise in PE classes for but she knew her bestfriend wouldn't mind. "So please… I don't mean to ruin your dreams okay? You'll find another guy, one who's sweet and gentle too. Just not Bobby, please." She paused and tilted her head to look at Jennie's reaction, worried but hopeful. "Please, Jennie..? for me and this friendship?" She smiled cautiously. 

 

Jennie paused from cleaning and laid her cloth on the counter. Her eyes passed on Chae's salary envelope and she remembered how she didn't receive hers yet, which triggered the frustration already building up. Why did Lisa have to come now when it was closing time already and she didn't even have the money to be in the mood. Now Lisa can't stop blabbering her emotions in front of her and this wasn't part of the plan she made in the library. What was she gonna do now? 

 

Her brain felt drained and controlled her to turn around where her bag was next to the microwave. she said nothing in return as she rummaged through her bag for a hair tie and brush and proceeded to groom herself behind the counter while Lisa wad waiting. 

 

"Oh come on, Jennie… at least look at me?" Lisa whined while leaning forward and grabbing the counter Jennie just cleaned for support. 

 

After tying her hair up into a simple ponytail, Jennie fixed the contents of her bags again and pulled her cellphone out. She turned around to untie her apron and fold them neatly before putting it in a paper bag. Her eyes were cold when they met with Lisa's. 'Why can't I have you?' Jennie begged mentally. "Store is closed and all employees are supposed to leave at 8:30. We can talk at another time." 

 

~

 

"S-So I…" A stammering, high pitched voice sounded in front of the mysterious girl Jennie sitting in the library again. As usual, Jennie crossed her legs and leaned her head on one side of her hand. She tilted sideways to pay full attention to the girl. "I was late yesterday and I came here to apologize." The girl bowed. 

 

"No need, Chae." Jennie nodded her head before getting a blush of embarassment. Chae was a really kind girl at work and hearing her talk sweetly with the customers was one of Jennie's favorite parts of working. She was jealous how Chae got her paycheck first but she couldn't bare the thought of her quitting work because of Jennie's selfish doing. So she fished out the white envelope from yesterday. "It's alright, I covered for you. Here's your paycheck." 

 

The other girl's eyes sparkled like a childs and her lips grew into a huge smile. Jennie also observed how her cheeks puffed out cutely whilst Chae's muscles carved a smile on her face. She had to admit, Chae was one hella cute girl. "Thank you so much, Jennie! Thank you thank you, I love you!" She squealed. 

 

Attention was drawn to their table as Chaeyoung kept blabbering gratification. Jennie kept nodding and saying it was okay until it just couldn't be helped and just asked Chae politely to keep quiet in the library. Her heart warmed at the sight of an embarassed Chaeyoung in front of her. Not onlt did her cheeks puff out, but they have gotten red too. 

 

After nodding bye at her colleague and also classmate in physics class, to Jennie's surprise, another figure replaced the spot where Chaeyoung stood. And this time, as Jennie scanned from bottom to top, she could already conclude the identity of the figure without even speaking yet. "Let me explain." 

 

"Lisa-" 

 

"Shhh." She cut off. The younger girl placed her denim jacket around the chair behind her and quickly took a seat across Jennie, hoping that the other girl would be forced to pay attention to her. "You're…" 

 

Jennie widened her eyes in anticipation. 

 

"You're in love with that girl!" Lisa exclaimed almost too loudly, earning a warning from the librarian's service bell. Jennie blinked twice and processed the statement Lisa had said a while ago. The problem with Lisa sometimes, was that some things could go unexpected at the most unexpected times. But that was fine, that was why Jennie loved her. But not Chae!

 

"W-What?" Jennie gasped in confusion and denial. 

 

Lisa squirmed in place and clapped. "You're not in love with Bobby are you? You just lied to me about that part so you could keep your secret relationship from me so we'll still be friends." 

 

"…" 

 

"..Right?" Lisa smiled nervously in her seat, crossing her legs as well and her foot bumping against Jennie's. 

 

Jennie let out a sigh before composing a proper answer. "You're right on the Bobby part." She said quietly, wanting to maintain the silence and secrecy of the place. Her words always echoed in her head everytime she just said something. This time, she just realized the situation she's just jumped into by her line but decided to swallow the nervousness down. She decided yesterday that she would compete for Lisa. And she had to do that. If not now, then when? "I'm in love with you." There, she said it. 

 

And just like that, all the things she had been keeping for so many years were gone, let go, free amd heard by the person she kept them from. But now, Lisa was gone too. Off walking towards the door, not even caring to pick up her jacket she left. And Jennie feared defeat. 

 

~

 

She walked briskly on the dry grass which made crunchy noises below her feet. Her eyes were fixed on a glowing patch of yellow in the dark of the night out in the mini field. Like the matter of life and death, Jennie forced herself to find the strength to spring forward again, chasing Lisa whilst carrying her bulky jacket. But it was like Lisa also paid attention to when Jennie would spring forward so she can move faster in her pace as well. 'No,' Jennie thought. 'I've said it this time. I'm not gonna leave you alone anymore.'

 

"Lisa!" She screamed. 

 

The younger girl froze at a distance between her bestfriend. Her shoulders were shaking, accompanied by the sound of whimpering and crying. Just from this view, it was enough to break Jennie's heart. Seeing Lisa like this, cold, crying, hurt, and umable to move. Jennie wanted to be the person who would resolve everything for her. 

 

"Lisa, please... Look at me first." Jennie said before a patch of hair flew into her face by the wind. When she tucked the hair back, Lisa finally turned her torso to the right and Jennie was met with the saddest looking eyes in her life. "Lisa, please, let me explain." 

 

Lisa kept trying her best to minimize her crying. Everytime Jennie stepped forward, she would too. Everytime Jennie extended her arm toward her as if asking for something to lean on while catching her breath, Lisa would lean away. She acted like she was totally betraued on.  

 

"For all my life, Lisa, you have been the only one who took that special reserved seat in my heart." Jennie panted. "Look… I know you aren't ready for a confession like this. But please, Lisa, I've been keeping it for years since we were in elementary and juniors. I don't like you, I love you… and I'm willing to do anything for you." 

 

Lisa watched quietly, still moving farther away while Jennie moved. "The reason why I fell for you is…. You aren't like everyone else. You're caring, kind, sweet, gentle, there are so many people like that in the world. But I'm in love with you because… You were the only one who changed my life." 

 

"Bobby changes my life." Lisa replied, sorrow evident in her tone. Her heart pumped a thousand times each minute but she couldn't tell why. Was she afraid? Afraid to trust Jennie and still be with her? This was completely different from the lie that Jennie made just to conceal her feelings. Lisa was afraid at how serious Jennie was. "I don't like you in that way. We're bestfriends, we shouldn't be lovers. There's a difference." 

 

"Bobby has only been with you for like a week, I've spent half of my entire life with you. I know you more than he knows you. I've loved you for years and it just keeps growing and growing and what about Bobby? He bumps into you in the hallway and suddenly wants to-" 

 

"Don't badmouth about him just because you're jealous!" Her frustration roared. She paused for a moment while still crying and trying to keep her heart to calm. "Bobby is my boyfriend and that's that. You're my bestfriend and you're supposed to be happy for me for having someone who could take care of me." 

 

"But I can't watch you be someone else's." Jennie bit her lip, struggling to compose herself. Her voice started to break after she realized she'd lose from crying. A tear shed from her eyes without even blinking. "I can't… see you and think of you in someone else's arms. It will hurt so much, I'm sorry but I can't do that for you. I love you too much-" 

 

"Yes you can." Lisa finally walked to her and cupped her cheeks with both hands. Her thumbs rubbed each cheek gently while her eyes looked for any signs of agreement in Jennie's face. But she found none. "You'll get over it someday. And we can still hang out together or go on dates together. We can act like the old times." 

 

Lisa received a slap on her face that stung her cheek. The place where Bobby would caress his hand on, was violated by Jennie. By this, Lisa removed her hands from Jennie's face and moved them to her shoulders, keeping her still before letting her emotions out once again. "What is your problem with me!? Why can't you just be the bestfriend I've always wanted? Aren't you happy that I'm happy?" 

 

"N-No, not really.." she whimpered. 

 

Lisa stared for a moment. She expected a yes in reply. What did that mean when Jennie said no? Had she lost her already? She gulped down her words and brought her hand up. Swiftly, she striked at Jennie's cheek, making it sting with redness. "Some best friend you are." Without delay, her anger inside her provoked her to push the gal onto the ground. She didn't take any time to see the other girl's reaction as she sped off into the building, her heart carrying a big hole in it already. 

 

She cried while running, and it was exhausting for her lungs. She stopped once she was near the street, where she thought she could be out of sight from Jennie. But she tried her best not to think about her so much as she only made her cry endlessly. She fished for her phone from her pocket and dialed a number. "Bobby? Can you hear me?" She asked frantically. 

 

"Yes. What's wrong?" 

 

"Listen, I need you right now. Bring your truck please. I can't stay anywhere near here, Bobby, I just want to be with you. Please come and pick me up, please, as soon as possible." 

 

"Wait wait wait, I'm at the bar with friends I can't just skip this one out, Lisa." He reasoned. "What's wrong? You sound like you're crying." 

 

"That's because I am, Bobby, and I need you." She begged. "I can't anymore. Please don't leave me, you're all I have that's left." 

 

"I can't Lisa, I'm sorry. I promised my friends this night. I'm so sorry. I'll pick you up after okay? Where are you?" 

 

~ 

 

Her legs were finally able to come to a stop after an unending walk. She threw her bag on the table, her body language tense and sharp. The one sitting across from her broke the silence and stood up, slamming his hands on the table. But she stood strong with her words and her tears and let the chaotic room take her. 

 

~ 

 

Mysteriously, as if on purpose, the figure she just saw a while ago had disappeared. There was no one sitting in the chair that she always used. Which was funny because her chair used to be always reserved for her. She cursed herself mentally. Of course Jennie meant to do that, sit on her chair. The girl probably did that as a way of telling Lisa there wasn't an invitation to sit with her. But who knows, maybe Jennie thought of something else. And Lisa clung to that hope. 

 

She exited the library, walking briskly to avoid Bobby's friends around the corner. Wherever his friends were, that's where he was, Lisa thought. Several days ago, they had a fight that Lisa was sure to never forget. Since then, all thoughts about Bobby were contaminated in her head. Though there wasn't an official break up between them, they just started talking less and texting was a rare phenomenon. This enabled time for Lisa to think on her past. 

 

Now that she had thought about it, things did start to make sense the way Jennie said it and Lisa began to realize a few things. One, she had chosen a guy whom she only saw one side of him. Two, she literallu chose that guy over her bestfriend for 10 years. Three, Bobby was sweet but wasn't he the bestfriend material for Lisa? 

 

The definiton of a best friend, Lisa thought, is someone who knows you inside and out, loves you inside and out, cries for you and cries with you, laughs with you but not at you. What was the difference between Bobby and Jennie that made Lisa's heart skip a beat? That was right, Lisa thought to herself. Jennie has showed her her true colors for the past years. Come to think of it, Lisa had been paying less and less attention to Jennie since Bobby stepped into her life. 

 

Wasn't that neglect for the person who has been with her since childhood? If so, doesn't that mean her love for Bobby was stronger? So strong, that it replaced Jennie's in a blink of an eye. But now, here they are, broken and apart and yet Lisa's heart is thumping wildly like a rabbit. Her breath got stuck in as the answer finally came. After years, it finally came and the beauty of that realiziation hit her. 'I'm excited to love Jennie Kim again.' She thought. 'I've always have.'  

 

~ 

 

Her pants were audible from the second floor as her legs raced to carry her outside. She cursed herself mentally again after realizing she forgot her bag at the library's baggage claim. But it was too late to come back for it now as Lisa started to walk towards the nearby coffee shop. The sign said "Closed" but Lisa walked in anyways. 

 

As usual, the wind charm chimed as the door opened and Lisa swung it back hastily. She heard the sound of laughter before the whole shop broke into silence. As she turned to the counter, two pairs of eyes stared back at her. Both were familiar and Lisa fought with herself to stay composed and not jump into any conclusions. 

 

"Jennie." Lisa nodded and walked slowly to the counter. Said girl blinked a few times at her colleague she was just laughing with before passing the mug she was cleaning to her. 

 

"Yes?" She asked whilst untangling her bun. 

 

For a moment, Lisa couldn't speak as her eyes focused on the smile plastered on Jennie's face obviously from her fellow worker. By that thought, Lisa entertained a hint of jealousy and possessiveness that tore her mind off the subject. Only after a repetition of Jennie's voice was she able to snap back to reality. "Um.. I want to talk to you." Lisa replied. 

 

Jennie's eyes grew big and let out a quiet but audbile "oh" before replying. "Can we talk about it later? We're busy closing up shop." She said, looking at her colleague who only smiled at the two of them from behind the counter. 

 

Lisa's eyebrows grew thick and glared at the smaller girl but not long enough so she could be noticed. "It has to be now, please." 

 

Jennie sighed. "Can it be later? There's really a lot of stuff we have to do right now." She looked at Lisa with a troubled expression. 

 

Lisa could only glare in response to her statement which made the smallest girl of the three rather uncomfortable. She spoke up, but softly to be polite. "Umm.. I can take the rest of the work in the back for you, Jennie." 

 

"What? But you'll need someone else to help csrry those boxes around." Jennie replied worriedly. 

 

"Yes but you covered for me last time when I was late so this would just be returning the favor." Chae smiled sweetly. After receiving a nod from her colleague, she bowed slightly at both of them to excuse herself to the back of the shop. 

 

As the door to the personnel areas closed, Lisa was all out desperate. "Look, I'm sorry for when I pushed you on the ground, I didn't mean it! I wasn't thinking straight back there but now I am and now I realized the mistake I've made."

 

"…you do..?" Jennie flashed an even more confused face and even though the blabbering of the younger girl confused her, the topic grabbed her attention vigorously. In her head, she dread if Lisa would mention Bobby's name with a hint of affection. It was hard enough not to see her bestfriend for weeks after their huge fight. And shutting her feelings out again was the epitome of complete misery. Her heart felt endangered with Lisa but nevertheless, she still listened to the younger.

 

"Yes! I'm so sorry I've been hurting you these past years and I'm so sorry for neglecting you, Jennie. Thing is, you're important to me. You always have been. And it hurt seeing you sit on my chair in our favorite spot in the library." Lisa's eyes watered.

 

Jennie's eyes opened wider as she recalled how she had purposefully sat on Lisa's chair. It brought discomfort to her as she was not used to it but resorting to means like those was what Jennie thought she should do to keep her heart guarded. And now her heart seems wary and unstable again. She wished that Lisa would get to the point so she could stop dying slowly inside. 

 

"What I'm trying to say is," she paused as a tear shed without blinking. "I realized I've been in love with you all this time. You're the only person who knows me in and out like the back of their hand, you're always silently waiting because you selflessly set your priorities on me. You've never intended to hurt me and for that, you lied. To yourself and to me. But that's okay now, Jennie, I get it." 

 

Chaeyoung was currently humming the tune of her favorite song whilst arranging the boxes in the back. Her mind drifted off to the chorus just before she got distracted by the noise of a heavy object hit the floor from outside. Cautiously, she set the last box on a chair and peeked out of the door. 

 

Her cheeks were decorated with a light red blush as her mind processed the image of two girls kissing right in front of her. And one girl was on her knees on the counter while the other grabbed on her neck to pull her down. Her eyes felt like they twitched as it picked up the sound of yucky smooching and tongue dancing. She quickly hid back in the room and fished a white envelope, placing them next to the menu sets. "J-Jennie, don't forget your salary, it's here in the envelope. I have to go home now, everything is arranged and prepared for tomorrow, see ya bye!"

 

Almost too quickly, Chae got out of the personnel's area with her bag and her uniform still on. The girl was holding her hand to her face which covered and her cheeks. Before Jennie could say anything between the kisses Lisa made all over her, Chae had already caused the door charm to chime and headed out. "What was that about?" She managed to ask herself as Lisa took a break from kissing her lips. 

 

"Nevermind that, maybe she wanted to give us our alone time." Lisa replied, busily kissing her cheek while pulling the back of Jennie's head closer to her. Her kiss was intoxicating and they felt like hot burns on Jennie's skin which the other girl loved. Jennie gladly complied to Lisa's body language and leand closer to her, landing her lips on Lisa's and finally pulling away when their breath was gone. 

 

"You… make me happy.. so much.." she panted. 

"

And what about… Bobby..?" Jennie panted back, dying for the answer. 

 

"He's the definition of a best friend to me.." Lisa replied and kissed her lover again.