Summary: Chanyeol's a gangster and he protects Baekhyun from a snake.

Chanyeol's ready for that stupid trip days before it even happens. Baekhyun keeps nagging him about getting packed early because the runt doesn't know that the gangster already did it.

"Did you pack a blanket? I hear it gets cold!Brrr!" Baekhyun pretends to shiver in front of the gang. They're inside a mall, shopping for things they need for the trip. "But if you want, we could share a bed and cuddle up! I'm okay with that!"

Chanyeol rolls his eyes. 

He makes a mental note to bring a thin blanket.

"This isn't a couples retreat," Jongin says, reminding the little boss. "No cuddling!"

"Everyone knows this trip's a joke. It's where everyone loses their ity," Sehun snorts. "I gotta stop by the convenience store to grab some condoms."

"Oh! Yes," Baekhyun nods. "I almost forgot the condoms!"

Jongin agrees. "The condoms!"

The condoms? 

Chanyeol gapes as the three continue saying "Condoms!" openly in the mall.

Frowning, Chanyeol looks down at Baekhyun's bubbly face. "What the hell do you need condoms for?"

Baekhyun jutted out his bottom lip. "I mean... We should be prepared!"

"It's not gonna happen." Looking at the other two, Chanyeol glares at them until he can see them sinking back into their place. "And you two, shut the up and quit ing around! Stop having with random es and go find a damn hobby to be committed to!"

Baekhyun had tuned out seconds ago but interrupts Chanyeol immediately after his speech to point out a store that specializes in outdoor goods. "Oooh, let's go in there! Maybe they'll have some booties!"

Kai laughs, nudges Sehun by the arm. "Booties."

They're watching Kitchen Nightmares, but Baekhyun's on the floor, busy folding clothes inside his duffle bag and trying to figure out which pajamas to take. It's a difficult decision but he ends up choosing to pack the one with llama prints all over it. 

Just as Gordon Ramsay's  screaming "It's raw!" at the restaurant owner, Baekhyun's mother calls him from downstairs to help fix the dining table (Chanyeol's staying for dinner again).

"Be right back!" Baekhyun tells the gangster sitting on his bed before running off. 

As he's waiting, Chanyeol's eyes look around the runt's room. To his surprise, it was like he already knew the place inside and out... 

He's been there too many times.

Throwing his head back, he leans against the wall, staring up at the ceiling. For a few minutes, he wonders what the he's doing until he hears Baekhyun's cellphone ringing.

Glancing down, Chanyeol can see the thing buzzing at the end of the bed where Baekhyun had left it. Curious, he leans over and grabs the phone, which ends up making his kind of mad.

[ From: Junmyeonnieeeee ] (Why the did he have to have so many e's at the end of his stupid name?)

Baby

Chanyeol cracks.

I shouldn't have tried to kidnap you.

Quickly, Chanyeol checks to see if Baekhyun was back. When the coast seems clear, he goes back to reading the pathetic text.

Just to let you know, my school's one camp site over from yours. Come by my tent sometime. Let's cuddle.

Putting the phone down, Chanyeol fumes more than Gordon. What the hell was Junmyeon doing still texting the runt? 

He waits for about a minute before the phone rings again.

[ From:  Junmyeonnieeeee ]

We can   („ಡωಡ„)

Chanyeol's lips draw into a thin, unamused line.

The cellphone rings again.

[ From: Junmyeonnieeeee ] 

Without a if you wanna feel my fat snake--

Skipping back inside his room, Baekhyun stops next to the TV when he realizes that Chanyeol's looking at his phone. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Chanyeol responds, trying to keep himself from growling out his words as he goes to Baekhyun's contact book and blocks Junmyeonnieeeee. 

"What're you doing on my phone?" Baekhyun asks, putting his knee on the bed, trying to see what chanyeol's doing. "You won't find any of my nudies on there."

Chanyeol stops what he's doing and looks up at the big, brown eyes staring at him, inches away. "I wasn't looking for your nudies."

"Mhmmm." The unconvinced hum annoys Chanyeol. "If you say so."

Rolling his eyes, Chanyeol hands back the phone. "Here. Junmyeonnie wants to you to feel his fat snake," he says, mockingly.

Confused, Baekhyun turns his eyes to his phone. "Fat snake?" he mutters. It takes a few moments but it doesn't take long for him to realize what the gangster meant. "Oh, no! That's not good."

"What's not good?"

"Junmyeonnie's still heartbroken..." Baekhyun says, nodding to himself. "I should tell him."

[ To: Junmyeonieeeee ]

Junmyeonnie, thank you but I have Chanyeol to cuddle and I really like him. I think we'll kiss soon. Please move on.

PS: I didn't know you had a snake! Show me pics of it sometime!

He tries to send the message, but his phone keeps telling him there's an error. Frustrated, he shows the screen to Chanyeol. 

"Something's wrong with my phone, Yeol."

Chanyeol scans the message before snorting. "Maybe you just have signal."

"Maybe..." Shrugging, Baekhyun puts the phone aside as he crawls closer to the giant. "Oh, well! I'll send it later."

a/n: lol hope yall enjoy dis update ANYWAYS lol

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