A short story about one night, in which Kyungsoo is contemplating his life, and having a long conversation about life with his boyfriend; Jongin, or perhaps, Jongin's ghost.

✯Oneshot/ 3,700 Words. 
Fantasy➳ Drama

Polaris, designated α Ursae Minoris, commonly the North Star or Pole Star, is the brightest star in the constellation of Ursa Minor. Polaris stands almost motionless in the sky, and all the stars of the northern sky appear to rotate around it.

~~~~

“One letter change the word, Like one person change the world.”

After a long day of work, Kyungsoo went back home quite exhausted. He paused by the door, staring at the dark, cold and empty apartment. There was no one there but him, he wanted to make sure that he was alone, so he the lights and went to the kitchen to drink a glass of water.

“You know you don’t need to turn on the light to see me.” Said Jongin as he appeared from nowhere.

“I don’t want to see you,” Kyungsoo opened the medicine bottle and was about to take one, but Jongin stopped him. “Don’t... Don’t take it, you will get better, and you will slowly forget about me.”

“It’s anti-depression, you are nothing but a depression to me, so just disappear.”

“I make you depressed?” Jongin pouted.

“Yes,” Kyungsoo swallowed the pill and didn’t look at him.

“You eat these pills to forget me?”

“Yes, and I wish that you leave me alone so I can get over you, Jongin.”

“Why?”

“I’m not going to talk to you.”

“Why?”

“Because you are a ghost.”

“I’m not a ghost!!”

Kyungsoo brought his hands up and he tried to touch Jongin, but his hand got through him. “See, you aren’t real, I cannot even touch you.”

“Do you want to touch me?” Jongin smiled softly.

Kyungsoo shook his head, and took his jacket off, he went to the bedroom, Jongin followed him, he leaned towards the door and watched him change his clothes. “I miss you.” Said Jongin, looking down.

“And I don’t miss you, so leave.” 

Jongin approached him, he glared at Kyungsoo. “Repeat that again while looking into my eyes.”

Without hesitation, Kyungsoo uttered. “I don’t miss you.”

“You are so mean!” Jongin folded his arms before his chest, “is this why you haven’t visited me yet?”

“I don’t—“ Kyungsoo swallowed hard, “I don’t want to visit you, it only breaks my heart.” He looked away.

Jongin smiled, satisfied. “So, you still love me?”

“I have never stopped.” Kyungsoo sighed and sat at the edge of the bed, wearing his pajamas.

“Speak to me,” Jongin sat on his knees before Kyungsoo, “visit me.”

“You are dead Jongin.” Kyungsoo closed his eyes.

“I’m not dead!!” Jongin’s brows furrowed.

“Yes, you are, just admit it.” Kyungsoo pulled the blanket and covered himself.

Jongin’s exhaled. He stared at Kyungsoo as he held his phone for a minute, then put it on the nightstand.

He gazed at Jongin and rolled his eyes. “Why did you shut your mouth now, ha! Because I told you the truth!”

“It’s not the truth.” Jongin turned his face to the other side.

“Listen, I’m trying to move on with my life, you are here since the accident, you are not real, you are a ghost who is stalking me.”

“I just don’t want you to forget about me, and I’m not dead, don’t say it again.” Jongin gulped.

Kyungsoo raised his body and put his feet on the floor, his hands on the bed, his chin up, looking at the ceiling. “I got used to sleeping in this empty bed, and I got used to eating alone, and watching Tv alone. Being lonely doesn’t bother me anymore.”

“You are lonely without me, no one can change this feeling but me, no human can make you feel better but me.”

“And now, you are gone.”

“I’m here, Kyungsoo.”

“NO! YOU AREN’T HERE! YOU ARE ONLY A GHOST, LEAVE ME ALONE, PLEASE!” Kyungsoo lost his patience.

“Good! Get angry, scream, let it out and stop acting like you are a strong man, I know you are broken-hearted,” Jongin whispered, “don’t hide your feelings.”

Kyungsoo rubbed his face with his hands. “You know.. People tend to hide precious things; money, diamonds, secret files and etc, that's why they hide their feelings too. They appreciate their feelings.”

“You appreciate which feeling! Love?”

“Love doesn’t exist.” Kyungsoo waved his hands at Jongin’s face, “Love isn’t a feeling, it’s a state of mind, feelings aren’t in the heart, it's in the brain, just like the thoughts. And you are just a thought, It's a fact.”

“Then why they say it's in the heart?”

“I don't know.”

“Maybe because the heart is the dearest organ, so they use it as a place to store their feelings. Like a storage room or a box.” Jongin suggested.

“Are you saying the heart is just a box of feelings.”

“Yes.” Jongin shrugged.

Kyungsoo smiled and shook his head. “What a funny idea.”

“It is!” Jongin grinned, too happy to see Kyungsoo’s smile. He inhaled deeply, then exhaled. “I don’t want you to forget me.”

Kyungsoo’s heartbeat raced. “I cannot,. I’m trying for months, but I just can’t, I see a memory of you in every street, every scent and every small details, it hurts when you lose someone; who was your whole life, I still remember the plans we drew for our future, but sometimes, the future doesn’t exist, it just floated somewhere far away from us, just like how you floated away with the waves of time.”

“I’m still here.”

“You are a ghost.”

“Visit me, I miss you, I need you.”

“I cannot.”

“You don’t want to cry?”

Kyungsoo cleared his throat and smiled. “I’ve cried enough, I cannot cry anymore, my eyes ran out of tears.”

“I don’t want you to cry again,” Jongin put his hand on Kyungsoo’s cheek, but he couldn’t touch him, “your tears are so precious to me.”

“Then leave, seeing you make me miserable.” Kyungsoo’s expression was serious.

Jongin sighed and walked away. “Fine,” he went to the door and stood there, he turned around, “please, don’t cry, water makes the flowers bloom, so the tears too, it makes the pain bloom, crying doesn’t make you feel better.”

“They say the opposite.” Kyungsoo whispered, eyes blinking slowly.

“They don’t know anything,” Jongin slightly shook his head, “no one does.”

Kyungsoo lowered his head. “Maybe you are right!”

Jongin came back, he sat on the bed.

Kyungsoo sighed tiredly. “Go.”

“I don’t want to leave you.” Jongin declared.

“You already did.”

“Tell me, what’s the element of your heart?”

“Mine!” Kyungsoo smiled, “what a weird question?”

“Just tell me!”

“I guess—“ Kyungsoo smiled, “I guess it’s water.”

“Mine is fire, and only you who can handle me, put me down or let me burn, I’m burning inside, I want to see you, but you refuse to visit me.”

“Then burn, like the car you have burned with your accident.”

“You are so unbelievable! How cou—could you say this?”

“Thanks to you, now I don’t have a car.”

“Ya! Are you angry because I was with Taemin?”

Kyungsoo couldn’t look at Jongin. “Yes.”

“You know we are just friends!”

“You cannot be a friend with your ex.”

“Yes, I can.”

“You went to see him without telling me, and then he called me saying that you had an accident! And that’s it, that’s your end, you were with him and you just— I just cannot forgive you.”

“For being with him, or for leaving you? Although I haven’t left you yet, you left me.”

“Both,” Kyungsoo bit his lips, “how could you be so careless!”

“You know that I don’t love him, I love you,” Jongin took a deep breath, “I cannot love two people, I can only love you, I have one heart you know.”

They stayed silent for a minute.

Kyungsoo said after taking a deep breath. “In this universe, there are only two worlds, the Living world, and the dead world, so go back to your world and leave me alone!”

“I cannot leave, I live in your head, or maybe in your heart.”

Kyungsoo heaved a sigh. “Goodnight.” He lay down ready to sleep, but a phone call made him wake up and change his clothes. It was Jongin’s sister, she asked him to go and see her, Kyungsoo couldn’t refuse, he locked the apartment and wore his coat and his blue, wool scarf; It was snowing outside.

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Kyungsoo was wearing his coat, he stared at the mirror and announced. “I can't see your reflection in the mirror.”

“Me too, I cannot see me...” Jongin said with an anguished smile, “But I can only see my reflection in your eyes, that's why I will always look into your eyes, I can see myself there, So don't sleep, stay hurt, don't heal, think of me all the time.”

Kyungsoo's eyes fixed on his shoes. “That's all what I do an