I sighed out loud, catching Wonwoo's attention while we sat in front of each other in the cafe where I frequently went to, Jieun eonnie's workplace. 

Today we decided to go together because I was a little behind with my subject on cell biology. Wonwoo was good at that, so we talked about him helping me on that. 

I was too out of it lately with constant 3 all nighters because I was composing lyrics and new melodies. I'm quite the perfectionist when it comes to my artistry so...just imagine how much time I put into that. 

Wonwoo quietly closed his notebook that he was showing me, complete with all his keywords, and brief explanations written on small pieces of sticky notes. "I think we're done for the day." He said, pulling his notebook to him when I slammed my hand on top of the material to stop him. 

"We just started." I argued. He smiled softly, lifting my hand off of his notebook and putting that to the side instead. "You're obviously tired. You should rest instead." He said. I softened at his concern. "But I'm really fine. And I need to learn that stuff in less than 48 hours so, let's just get on with it. Please?" I asked, as convincing as I could. 

For the record,  I am in fact tired and I have this strong urge of wanting to kill myself already just to get away from all this school stuff. But this is my choice therefore,  I need to be responsible and not kill myself. 

"3-hour break, then we continue. Deal?" He asked, stretching out his hand for me to shake. I stared at it for a while, before I slowly extended my hand and shook his.  "Fine. Then we go back to whatever that is." I said, wiggling my finger around the notebook which made him laugh. 

"how come you're free today?" I asked, realizing that when I asked him to help me he immediately said okay. "I'm free for the whole morning. My brother is taking over my shift today because I won a favor from him."  He said, casually stirring his drink with his straw. He had a book on his other hand while I crossed my arms on the table and laid my head there. 

"What's the bet?" I asked like a curious child. "That he was a bad drinker compared to me." He chuckled. "We did shots and chugged beer one weeknight and he totally passed out. I only reminded him of the bet the next day."  He said, still laughing a little. I smiled at this. It feels like it's been so long since I saw him smile around me. He's become such a precious friend to me now I don't even know how this happened. 

"Knowing you. You probably took a video of him." I chuckled back which made him gap in shock and raise his thumb. "Bingo." He gasped. "But for my brother's sake, I will not reveal his drunken side." He said, which made me nod instantaneously. 

"You know. I never imagined you to be the bookish type of guy." I suddenly said. He looked at me with a surprised look. Closing his book, he placed it on the table then looked at me. "What do I look like then?" He asked. I scrunched my nose and thought hard. "Hmm. A cat?" he laughed at this. 

"I meant what kind of person."  He said grinning. Oh. "A socialite." I said. "Someone who goes to fancy parties and blends well with people."  I answered. It was my first impression of him. But later on did I find out that he wasn't actually the first one who approaches people. Rather it was the opposite. People would always try to befriend him and he didn't mind. 

"You still think of me that way?" He asked, now giving me his full attention. I shook my head no which made him giggle. Yes, a giggle. "You're like a girl." I said to him. Laughing out loud, I covered my mouth at his reaction. A glare and a raised brow. "That's not a nice thing to say to someone who has a crush on you." He said, tapping his book on my head as punishment. 

"Aye." I whined. "Why are you bringing that up?" I asked. He merely shrugged his shoulders while clasping his hands, placing those on the table while we talked." So, you still think of me as a party boy?" he asked again. I smiled at him, teasing him. "do you?" He asked, pushing my forehead when I just kept staring at him. 

"No. I think you're quite normal."  I answered.  Most of my first impressions on people always go wrong, so this isn't the first time I misjudged someone. "And you? What was your first impression of me?" I asked him. 

"That you were rude and cold." He answered without hesitation. I chuckled.  "Not shocking, but go on." I said, encouraging him. "You had eyes that looked like you were ready to kill anyone who dare came to talk to you." He laughed. I kind of agree. I do have that look. And it's also not very often that I show emotion on my face. It's more of...a vibe. 

"and it also seemed like you weren't the type to make friends." He added. Woap. Spot on. I have to hand it to him, he's pretty good at reading people. " You're really observant." I complimented him. He bowed his head and whispered a thanks, laughing from embarrassment after.  

"If you thought of me that way. How come you had a crush on me?" I dare ask him. This feels strange. Asking a person who is not my boyfriend how he came to...like me.  Even I could tell that I had a bad first impression but nevertheless, he kept track of me through all these years. It's a wonder, really.

"The first time I saw you was at the freshman party. some of my female friends thought you looked cold, and everyone was afraid to approach you. I don't know if I should be telling you this though..."  He suddenly started telling the story with suspense. I grunted out loud. "You don't tell a story then suddenly stop midway okay. You just don't."  I whined to him. 

"Okay. Okay. But don't tell anyone I told you this." I vigorously nodded at his warning. Just tell me already. Ugh. "They made the guys talk to you out of curiosity, betting that you would shrug off the others but not me."  He said. Huh. It feels crappy to be bet on, but this happened years ago. So...whatever. But wow that confident booster he got from his friends. How highly. 

"The first one to approach you was Jeonghan sunbae." "The one with a pretty face?" I asked, trying to recall the night we first met. he laughed but nodded as a yes. "Yeah. Him. You guys talked for a while, which surprised us. So after that-" "Two more people came to where I was sitting." I finished his sentence. I remember because it was weird. For me anyway. I didn't expect people to come up to me. Let alone guys. 

And when they did, I was really relieved. Someone was actually talking to me and I could actually talk to them back. They kept the conversation going of course. "But you weren't one of them." I pointed out. "We agreed that if Jeonghan failed, another would go next, then another  then another. If they all failed, then-" "Then you." I said. 

He stared at me, confused while I laughed my off. "you guys must've been so disappointed when I talked to Jeonghan sunbae." I said in between laughs. "We kinda were." He laughed as well. "That's why I never got the chance to talk to you. And you weren't my type back then." He said. 

"then, how did...you start liking me?" I asked cautiously and as normal as I could possibly ask it. "I became interested. Because I was wrong when I thought you were a snob."  He smirked. Oohhh. Stop smiling. Why is he smiling like that? "It was the first time I had a wrong impression of someone. And it really got me thinking." he added. 

I think this isn't the first time he established just what he likes about me. But still. Every time we talk about this infatuation thing he has, I still can't get used to it. He likes me, I like someone else, that someone else likes me back. It should be as simple as cutting Wonwoo from my life. But why can't I do that? 

He's become one of my dearest friends? Uhmm. Yeah. He did. But how can we all move past this when we're all hanging out together? 

Who's to blame though? Didn't you make this friendship thing up? I asked myself. If only I could turn back time...

And that was that we soon got back to our little study session. A few hours more then we were both off and back at school. Where he had to go back and fix a few things for his graduation application and me to my classes for my music major. 

I met up with a few people I met from my class. They were all younger than me. And I stood out because we'll word got around that I was competing for our school pageant. And because I'm older than they are. 

"Eonnie, what time do you practice for the pageant?" Jane, an energetic young lady who sat beside me in Music 101, asked. "Around 3?" I answered,  not quite sure of the time. "I'm not sure if they rescheduled it. Why do you ask?" I smiled at her. She looked at me with hesitation and blushing cheeks. She looks nervous...

"Can we watch?" she whispered, pointing to another female friend of hers, Yura. I nodded. Our practice space is open to anyone. Just that..." You can't take videos or pictures during practice." I warned. Again, I can't believe they take this pageant thing so seriously. I haven't even seen Lucas during practice. He only went once and so far we had 4. I'm also starting to worry about our talent portion.  Should I just ask for them to replace Lucas? 

"How about during break time and after?" Yura asked. Ohh. About the pictures and videos. "It's allowed."  I answered which made her cheer together with Jane. "Why are you giggling?" I asked them. "Your partner is really cute."  Jane grinned. How cute. 

"Lucas? He's also not always there." I said to them. They tilted their heads. "Lucas? It isn't Haesung sunbae?" Yura asked, looking utterly confused and shocked. Haesung? As in "Wonwoo sunbae?" I asked them. Yura blinked her eyes, then she momentarily went through her phone then showed me a picture of, you guessed it right. Jeon Wonwoo. 

"What?!" I asked them, almost shouting. Good thing there were only a few of us yet inside the room. "I was just with him. How come he didn't tell me?" I asked out loud. Quickly unlocking my phone, I texted Wonwoo and asked him if he took the pageant thing. 

"It was a last minute deal. Lucas backed out yesterday and they forced me to join in. They told me on my way to class today. How'd you find out?" He asked. Oh. So this was just all new news. Wow. These girls are fast. "I just got a text too. Anyway, I'll see you later then." "See ya~"

"You're close with Haesung sunbae?" Yura asked with awe. "Yeah. Why?" I asked back. They're such curious kids. Figures, Wonwoo is THE man in our department so it shouldn't really be shocking. "Then... Do you know what's his type?" Jane giggled. 

I stared at them blankly. Should I tell them? Or should I not? Suddenly, Yura gasped. "Oh my God!" She squealed.  "You're her!" She said, pointing at me. "You're the one he likes, C.E.!" She said again, in her loud and shocked voice.  I coughed out loud and tried to laugh it off. 

"What? No.." I tried... But what kind of code