◊◊◊◊◊

Butterflies were dancing. Their wings flittering over a colorful garden of flowers. Sunrays were beating through the gaps of leaves. The greens weaving back and forth in midair as airy wind brushed past. Laughter resonated on the beach in front of the cascading blue waves. Each time it hit shore causing a thrill of happy shrieks. A sand castle quickly dissolved, but it didn’t matter because it could be built again.

A joyful world where smiles existed. A beautiful world where love sparkled endlessly. Sehun felt like he was floating among them as his senses came to that morning. Blanketed in dreamy warmth. Feeling so light and free. Fully rested for the first time. And he didn’t want to wake up.

He could smell the scent of Namjoo’s hair. Feel the soft texture of the fine strands. Her shoulder angled into his arm. Everything about her was soft and made his heart swoon. In the middle of the night she had turned away from him to sleep on her side. Drawing her legs away from his because it had gotten too warm. An hour later he had drowsily moved over to hug her and it was where he had stayed for the rest of the night.

She was still sleeping. Her head deep in the pillow never minding him. A smile crept onto his face and he buried his face further into her nape, because he liked her so much. This right now was so perfect. With her. Beside her. In her house. In her bed. He wanted to stay like this for the entire day.

The sun was streaking through her blue curtain. To him, it felt as if God was shining a light on them. Telling him he deserved this. This was their moment. Enjoy it. God would bless him. Not that he was religious, but he did hope all the luck in the world was on their side. Namjoo would stay with him for a long time. Everything would work out.

He hugged her more securely. Listening to his heart beat against her back. Curling his legs up behind her knees. Praying the children would sleep longer and not creep into the room to ruin the moment.

As he lay there with happiness combusting through him, he wondered what he could do for her later in the day. Surprise her with a home cooked dinner? He wanted to do something romantic. Would candles do the work? Maybe they could set a date to spend the night together again. He knew Gunta would love another sleepover with Moowon. Sehun internally giggled.

Namjoo finally moved. Her hair brushed his face. Her head moved back forcing him to dodge in order to save his nose from possibly breaking. His hand slid across her belly then back again to holding her.

Darn her mental clock. Slightly rising she glanced over her shoulder at him. “What, you’re up?”

“No, I just woke up,” Sehun lied with the shake of his head. “What time is it?”

Namjoo groaned before dropping her head back into the pillow giving him the opportunity to bury his face into her nape again. “Don’t get up yet,” he said.

“Five minutes,” Namjoo sleepily grumbled.

That, he could do.

Taking this to his advantage, he lay there with a smile. Absorbing the heat of her body. Thinking again of how much he liked her.

Namjoo did wake up five minutes later. Leaving him lying there while she went to freshen up. After a minute he gave up and left her bedroom. Poking his head into Moowon’s room to find the boys still asleep. Closing the door, he backed out and turned around to walk into the kitchen. Wondering what Namjoo had in her fridge and what she planned to make for breakfast. He first spotted sausages and eggs.

“What are you doing?” Namjoo asked a few minutes later.

“I was going to make breakfast,” he told pointing to the pan on the stove. “Moowon likes octopus sausages, right?”

Namjoo shot him an amused smile. “Are you trying to kiss up to him?”

“We’ve been on better terms lately,” Sehun told. And it was something he was proud of. The way into Namjoo’s heart was through her son. He would fight his way for it.

Namjoo hit his arm playfully. “I’ll start on eggs. Go wash up.”

“You don’t like my morning breath?” he teased opening his mouth and exhaling.

She shrieked and dodged. “Sehun!”

He laughed as he walked off. Halfway through breakfast preparation Moowon woke up and then Gunta. Still sleepy he wrapped his arms around Sehun’s legs and leaned into him with all his weight.

Dropping the spatula, he picked Gunta up, “Come on. Lets go wash your face.” and walked off toward the bathroom. When he returned Namjoo had already plated the octopus sausages and Moowon was seated at the table with a cup of juice. Suddenly energetic, Gunta raced over calling, “Me, too! Me, too!”

Grabbing a cup and opening the fridge, Namjoo poured him some juice. “Here you go. Sit down, we’re going to eat.”

“Where do I sit, mom?” Sehun asked to receive a small glare in return. Laughing to himself he sat down beside Gunta. Touching his head affectionately. Moowon already had a fork stabbed into one of the sausages and was chewing half of it.

“Is it good?” Sehun asked. Moowon quietly nodded, which pleased him. Proudly, he exclaimed, “I made that.”

Moowon’s chewing movements slowed before he muttered in the quietest voice possible, “Thank you.”

“Anytime,” Sehun said smiling broadly. He shot Namjoo a broad grin when she joined them for breakfast. Once more their feet mingled underneath the table as they devoured their meal. He brushed her ankles teasingly relishing in how this morning was godsend.

When he finally left with Gunta he felt like a school boy who had just aced all his exams. The glee surging through him made him want to skip all the way home. Instead, he held Gunta’s hand singing a child’s tune with him as they walked down the hallway toward his apartment. Looking at each other, smiling the entire way.

Until he saw Joomi standing in front of his doorway with a bag of goodies.

Noticing them she screeched, “Gunta!”

“Auntie Mi-Mi?” Gunta paused beside him then letting go of his hand scurried forward. Sehun’s heart tightened displeased. Since he had to get changed for work, he trudged forward.

“Would you stop buying him toys?” Sehun said opening the door.

Handing Gunta his toy she urged him off. “Why, cheer up, Sehun,” Joomi said in a tone of mockery, “doesn’t your girlfriend buy him toys?”

He narrowed his eyes at her. He snapped, “What do you want?”

“I’m not here for you,” she said matter of factly. “I missed Gunta, so I came to visit him. Can I not? The only person Yanghwa trusted him with was me, remember?”

The air pressure around him intensified.

Ignoring him she went on, “The person who helped arrange her funeral was me when her parents were so far away. I was the one who helped with Gunta in that time. You haven’t forgotten, have you?”

“Shut up,” he demanded.

He didn’t want to hear about it. He didn’t want to think back to the time that had been hardest for him.

“So, does she know about her?” Joomi asked.

Fury flashed through his gaze.

LEAVE ME ALONE!!!! he wanted to scream, but he didn’t. If he let her tick him off, he was afraid his bad side would come out.

“Does she know that there’s only one woman you love and that’s why you’ve never looked at me?” Joomi asked.

His jaw tensed.

“I was just thinking these past few weeks,” Joomi crossed her arms, her eyes scourged his home, “can you really have feelings for anyone else? Does this woman deserve to be led on by you? She knows nothing about you. It’s been years since Yanghwa passed away and you haven’t gotten rid of a trace of her. Gunta’s best friend’s mother, does she know? Does she want to be second place to the only woman in your heart?”

Having had enough of her meandering talk, he flung the door open. His heart was insanely pounding. She was roiling him up, and the end picture wouldn’t be pretty. And he didn’t want to weigh all these things in his life. Not now.

Staring hard at the floor he coldly ordered, “Leave, Joomi.”

She coolly gave him a once over. Taking a stride toward the exit, she comforted, “Don’t be too vulnerable, Sehun. You’ve never needed anyone else.”

He slammed the door in a bout of rage. Gunta abruptly looked at him surprised. Apologetic, he said, “Go get dressed.” Immediately obeying, Gunta dropped his new toy and dashed off into his room.

A swirl of ravaging sadness and anger tore through him. The emotions mixing so inexplicably that his heart twisted and squeezed itself. The anguish made him want to drop to his knees. He felt so weak, so abandoned. He was upset and he was broken.

It was true. The bookshelf was Yanghwa’s. Majority of the cooking tools belonged to her. The furniture had all been chosen by her when they married. She had decorated and designed their place into the cozy home it was today. Everything here spelled his wife’s name. All the leftovers here were hers alone.

◊◊◊◊◊

“Aunty!” Gunta screamed as he ran toward her. Namjoo shut the door to her car just in time before Sehun’s son whammed into her legs. Arms hugging her tightly.

She laughed happily, “Hello, again.”

“Moowonie?” he looked up at her with his innocent eyes.

“I’ll get him down in a second. Can you let me go?” she asked. Stepping aside to give her room she unbuckled Moowon and helped him down.

“Hand, hand,” Gunta beckoned for her hand. His other hand was already linked with Moowon’s.

“Where’s your daddy?” Namjoo wondered. Gunta averted his eyes before looking at her as if he’d been caught in trouble that morning. As they walked around the car, she spotted Sehun heading toward them with a slow gait. Strangely he looked famished, but he smiled upon seeing her.

“Didn’t sleep well?” she asked. He had looked energetic that morning, why did he suddenly look overwhelmed with exhaustion? Maybe it had been a bad idea sleeping together.

“I did,” he told banishing her doubts. So, it wasn’t anything she’d done.

“You look tired all of a sudden,” Namjoo noted when they arrived at the front doors.

“Well, look at you all coming together,” Mrs. Lee greeted brightly. “Hello, Moowon and Gunta!”

“Hello,” the boys greeted in unison. Letting go of her hand Gunta first raced inside without letting Sehun give him a hug. Contrary to him, Moowon turned to squeeze her legs.

“I’ll pick you up later,” Namjoo promised bending down to fixate his shirt.

“Ok, mommy.”

“Love you. Be good and have fun.” Namjoo squeezed his cheek and patted his bottom as he ran inside. Looking at Mrs. Lee, “Thanks for looking after the boys.” then she caught herself and just smiled in the process before turning around to head back into the parking lot.

The boys, she chided herself, as if Gunta was also her son. She shouldn’t have said that. She wasn’t that involved in his life. Why should she when she never really loved him before he arrived in the world?

Namjoo’s attention came to when Sehun slid his hand through hers. Glancing up to see him eased the trouble in her heart. At the same time, she was a little guilty. When they arrived at her car, he drew her into a tight, desperate hug. Surprising her because they had only been apart for an hour. His arms were around her so securely, as if in the following second their fairytale would come to an end.

Snuggling into his shoulder she grasped onto his arms and released him when he finally let go. Curious, she asked, “What?”

The strange emptiness in his eyes earlier turned into hearts. Sounding more energetic like Gunta, he said, “You’re just so cute I want to put you in my pocket.”

She burst out laughing. “Stop being cheesy.”

A low laugh rumbled in his throat. Her heart skipped a beat upon hearing it. Skipping even more deliriously when he brushed his thumb across the back of her hand.

“Lunch?” he asked.

Hope swung through her, but she had to turn him down. “I’m seeing Daehwi for lunch.”

Sehun blinked taken aback by the news. “You’re seeing him?”

“Just…” Namjoo’s eyes dashed to the side. “He wanted to talk, and you know…it’s been a rough journey for us to get where we are. And he and Moowon…”

She was making a bunch of excuses and wished she could stop herself from telling him jargon. Thankfully, Sehun said, “It’s fine.”

Though he didn’t really sound fine with it.

To lighten matters, she promised, “We can have dinner. Sounds good?”

“I’ll cook,” Sehun added. “I’ll add candles, too.”

Namjoo almost frowned. “No candles. I don’t want the kids knocking it down and burning your or my place down.”

“My place,” he indicated.

Namjoo blinked and averted her eyes. Thinking once more of Sehun’s bedroom. Yanghwa’s picture.

“What?” he wondered at her silence. “Is it not a good idea?”

“No,” she shook her head. How could she say no when he was looking forward to it? She didn’t want to turn him down and make this into one of her pull away episodes again.

They were good. Their relationship was on a steady rock right now. She didn’t want to be the reason for it to tilt.

“I’ll see you at five then,” Sehun confirmed. Giving her a quick kiss, he bid farewell, “Have a good day at work.”

They had a date for dinner, but Namjoo blanked the entire day. Sehun called her before lunch. Told her he was going out with his co-workers for seafood and not to be jealous. He hung up after making her laugh. When Namjoo hung up she wished she could still laugh.

Pulling the heavy glass door open she stepped into the fusion food restaurant. Daehwi said they could sit somewhere private in one of the gala rooms. He had called first and wanted to talk privately. Having collected his thoughts after she’d called him the other day. He felt he should have the right to reason his views, and she agreed.

Namjoo gave thanks to the waiter who led her toward the room. Once he disappeared down the hallway, she pulled the door open spotting Daehwi sitting in front of her at a rectangular table. A big plate of food with side dishes speckled the center of the table. On the other side of the table was a matching plate. Beyond him an oval window graced the room with beautiful sunlight.

“I ordered,” Daehwi said as way of greeting when she closed the door. “Just come eat. You’re on a timed schedule?”

“I can take an hour off,” Namjoo said pulling her purse off as she settled into her seat. Glancing at the various foods, she commented, “This is a lot.”

“On what I saved after selling the house, I think I can afford it,” Daehwi assured. “I’ll also give you the child support for this month.”

Namjoo looked away unsure if she should let guilt wiggle its way into her heart. She had gone after him so menacingly that the battle of swords and steel would never be forgotten. They were divorced but they were trying to make it work out – she was, because she was the bigger denominal in the relationship. Wasn’t that why she was deciding to trust him with her worries?

“Eat up,” Daehwi urged as he greedily devoured a spoonful.

Like a small child finally invited to the dinner table after being scolded, she timidly picked up her soon and began helping herself.

“What’s wrong with you?” Daehwi asked. Leaning forward he placed more food onto her plate filling it to the brim. “Eat all of it. You have to eat all of it.”

Namjoo bit her lower lip suddenly overwhelmed with what she couldn’t put into words. Because it was Daehwi. Because she had fallen in love with him at such a young age, it felt like he was the only one she could rely on still. Strangely after hating him for so long. Because Daehwi knew her inside out, he would understand; she could believe that.

“If you have a picture of a woman by your bed, it must mean she’s important, right?” Namjoo asked.

Daehwi frowned at her. “What the hell are you talking about?”

“Right?” Namjoo asked again. “It means, you can’t forget her.”

Daehwi observed her for a while then put his food down. Unable to swallow it now. He sighed, “Doesn’t it seem obvious?”

Namjoo’s heart dropped. Her gaze dropped. Her spoon dropped.

“Is this about him again?” Daehwi asked. When she didn’t reply, he went on, “So you sold your body. To him and his wife, to give them their son. And you’re sleeping with him, too.” Leaning back into his seat, he weaved his fingers up through his hair. “Wow!” In spiteful vengeance, he snapped, “You really gave him everything. Aren’t you worth more than that, Namjoo?”

“I know I’m stupid,” Namjoo blasted remorseful.

He sighed loudly enough for her to hear again. “You’re jealous over a dead woman?”

Namjoo looked up at him surprised that he knew.

“He told me,” Daehwi informed, “when we talked once.”

“He hasn’t told me about her,” Namjoo lowered her voice.

“Why do you care?”

“Because,” Namjoo fumbled for words, “if he cares about me, he’d share his story with me. Don’t you think?”

Daehwi blinked. “I don’t know.”

“Wouldn’t you?” Namjoo probed, hoping for him to tell her he would. “Tell a woman about me and Moowon if you ever found someone else?”

“Well,” Daehwi mumbled, “I would, but then I don’t want anyone else.” He inhaled and leaned forward, “Why don’t you just ask him?”

“I want to,” Namjoo told. “I’ve wanted to ask, but I can’t say anything each time I see that happy smile on his face. He said he likes me, Daehwi.”

“Why are we talking about this?” Daehwi wondered. “I thought we were going to talk about how you should have never done that surrogate work.”

She didn’t hear a thing. She needed someone to encourage her with her relationship issues that were becoming more realistic by the day. “Do you think he can love me?”

***I think I said this in the oneshot, love comes in all forms; giving someone a comforting hug, listening to someone's troubles, telling a friend to call you when they make it back home, telling a loved one to wear their seatbelt, praying with or for someone, respecting a person's space when they need it etc. So the way Sehun loves Namjoo is unique, but also does he love her really? 

***Anyway, I received a realllllllllly pretttttyyyyy Christmas gift from PEARLLIN <333333333 Sending you lots of love!!! Thanks so much! As a special to you I'll use this poster for three more chapters. This is such a wonderful gift and credits to ANN1914 for the beautiful poster! I appreciate it so much! The poster is so pretty, I love the merge of colors and the bokeh!

***This is my last update till next week. Happy New Year everyone! Stay warm! And if you're drinking, drink safe!