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These days the world seemed to revolve around him and Namjoo. He saw her in the mornings and again at lunch. One more time for dinner when she brought Moowon over to play with Gunta. Sometimes they kissed when they thought the kids weren’t looking. And they talked before bed. Whether it be five minutes or an hour long he took joy in her voice. Knowing she had chosen him made him giddy all over.

“Daddy, Moowonie sleepava,” Gunta had said one afternoon after daycare. He was talking a lot more these days. Mispronouncing some words and surprisingly, correctly saying others. Where he had heard the concept of a sleepover from Sehun wasn’t sure.

Moowon could sleepover but he wasn’t sure how much of him the boy could tolerate. During the time spent together Moowon seemed to look at him less and less. Saying a few short words when Namjoo was around. One time, Sehun had bought ice cream for the boys expecting Moowon to reject his offer, because Namjoo wasn’t there but he had taken it with a polite thank you. Sehun took that as progress.

Eventually, Moowon could warm up to him. He was definitely sure he could win the boy’s heart. And Namjoo was on his side.

◊◊◊◊◊

“My turn! My turn!” Gunta called out bobbing from where he sat. Moowon moved over to trade spots with him to let him run his car through the race tracks Sehun had bought for the boys to play with. Namjoo disapproved, but it was keeping the boys busy in the living room. The plus side was that they were enjoying themselves too much to bother with them.

Toys littered the space in front of the television. The bins Namjoo used to keep the toys in were sprawled around in disarray. A children’s show was running on the television quietly blaring in the background. Dismissed now because he and Gunta had come over.

“If you’re not watching the TV, turn it off Moowon,” Namjoo said from the kitchen where she was throwing their dinner into the pot on the stove.

“I watching!” Moowon shouted back, but Sehun saw that his eyes were too busy watching Gunta’s car shoot across the plastic tracks. They let out a shriek before quickly gathering the toy car to go another round.

Heaving an irate sigh Namjoo peered into the living room then turned to him with a glare flaring in her eyes.

“What?” he shrugged. “They’re having fun.”

“I told you to buy anything but toys,” she grumbled in reminder.

She did, but when they got to the store Gunta had begged for it. Sehun had had no choice knowing Moowon would love it, too. And if he did that meant another point for him.

He and Namjoo had been seeing each other for a month and a half now. He felt they were making it work on their own terms. Including their kids with whatever they did, wherever they went on dates. He liked the way they bonded, because Gunta liked Moowon and Moowon liked Gunta. They were inseparable playmates, like brothers per Mrs. Lee’s words.

So, after daycare he’d go home to grab some spare clothes for Gunta in case he dirtied himself and drive over to Namjoo’s. Other times she came over with Moowon, who was still a bit distant with him. But again, Sehun believed he was getting there.

“Do you need me to help?” he asked.

“Go find me the salt and get the plates ready,” Namjoo ordered.

He did as directed. When she began plating the dishes he called over for the boys.

“K…” Gunta monotonously replied too engrossed with the new toy.

“Gunta!” Sehun called again. His son’s head sprang up to attention with a small pout. Sehun heard the toy car shoot across the tracks again and sighed. Walking away from the table toward the boys he picked Gunta up. Flipping him over in the air into his other arm and listening to him shriek giddily. Moowon gave him a peek before shooting up to his feet and running to his mother.

“Go sit down,” Namjoo softly said touching Moowon’s head.

When Gunta saw Namjoo putting food onto Moowon’s plate he loudly chanted, “Auntay, me too! Me too!”

He and Namjoo shared a smile as she put food on his plate. It was things like this that made his heart warm and thankful. Namjoo wasn’t biased between his or her son. If she got a treat for Moowon she didn’t forget to do the same for Gunta. To make him feel included. If she was reading a book to Moowon she’d let Gunta climb onto her lap. Share with him some of the affection Moowon received.

After they cleaned up, they walked the boys to the park to let them run off their energy. Hoping to have some time alone when they napped later. The sun was still high. Still very warm out. Children of Namjoo’s neighbors occupied the playground. Those who knew each other were grouped together chatting about upcoming community events. Since Namjoo was a single working mother she didn’t have the time to be included, so she stood with him. Discreetly holding hands behind their backs in case Moowon looked over.

“You don’t want to go say hi?” he asked looking in the direction of the ladies.

“I’m good,” Namjoo replied then added daringly, “but if you want to go chat with them, go ahead.”

“No, I’m ok.”

“You’re so sure about that,” Namjoo gave him the side-eye. “I see they’ve been checking you out since we arrived.”

He couldn’t help but scoff. Leaning closer to say, “You’re prettier.”

She elbowed him with a roll of her eyes that had him cheerily laughing. Continuing to stand together away from the patch of her neighbors, they bathed in the silence. Under the warm sunlight with the air at their backs. Her soft hand in his. His grip secure around her fingers. Relishing in the fact that they were doing so well.

Happy with each other. Satisfied with their simplistic mode of life. Feeling as if he had picked up a star along the road and it was blessing him with a life worth living. Letting him experience happiness at its height once more.

He wanted to keep nurturing this emotion of love. Cradle it closely and see where it could take him.

If what they were doing could amount to love, he wanted to appreciate the beauty of it. He’d never apologize for his feelings. He’d remember to be thankful for Namjoo each day. For every hour she was in his life he’d be grateful.

“Moowon’s father hasn’t come by?” Sehun wondered.

“Daehwi?” Namjoo asked surprised he was asking. The last they had spoken of him was when Namjoo told him her ex was working on a project outside of town.

“Does Moowon have another father I don’t know about then?” Sehun joked.

Namjoo scoffed and made a face. “You’re so funny.” Turning away she said, “No, but I think Moowon misses him.”

Sehun stared off into the playground. Watched Namjoo’s son go down the slide with a screech then dash toward the spiral stairs to do it again. If Moowon made up with his dad what would it be like if Daehwi become involved in Namjoo’s life? Would he still matter to them then?

“He always liked his dad,” Namjoo reminisced unaware of his thoughts. Tuning into her memory she recalled, “Moowon always ran off whenever Daehwi appeared. He wasn’t always glued to me. I wonder if he misses those days with his dad.”

Sehun watched Namjoo’s eyes shine solemnly at the talk of her son and ex. The happier days.

Those were their days.

She looked up at him with a smile cradling her lips, which soon disappeared. “What?”

“Nothing.” He lied.

If Daehwi came back and Moowon wanted him, would Namjoo still want him? The love she had for her son was like the sun to the blue sky. So relevant. So obvious. Anyone could see it even from the other side of the world. She would do anything for him.

When they returned to the apartment and put the kids to sleep, he kissed her hard after they settled down to watch a sitcom rerun. Being affectionate was one thing in their relationship, but this time he kissed her a lot harder. With a lot more desperation, because he was afraid of the future.

He was afraid of Daehwi.

Namjoo clung onto his shoulders, breathed into his mouth. Finally moving back with an exhale. “Whoa…” came out of .

He stared at her. Heart pounding. “What are you wearing?”

“What?” she asked confused.

He touched his lips. “I taste peppermint.”

A smile sprung into her lips. Namjoo reached into her pocket to show him a chapstick. “This?”

“I want to see it. Give it to me.” He reached out to swipe it, but Namjoo moved faster.

“No!” she exclaimed giggling when he tried again.

“Let me see it,” he said leaning forward to reach behind her back where she was hiding it. Then she rasied her arm arching back. Laughing and trying to push him away as he closed in trying to snatch it. Playing with and teasing her, but also curious because he liked the taste of it on her lips. Then he toppled over her and could feel her heart racing against her .

When Namjoo first chased after him to tell him not to go to Saemi he had been elated, relieved. Under a mutual but unsaid oath they had started their relationship slowly, carefully. Walking on cautious grounds because this was the first time for the both of them after a committed union with others. Taking their sweet time, because they weren’t just two consenting adults in a relationship. They had children they both prioritized.

Being aware that taking their time was more worth it rather than rushing into sharing a bed or pulling out a ring. But he felt her soft body under him and it ignited a deep fire in him. Now thinking it didn’t matter.

The things about being careful. Taking their sweet time. Enjoying the other’s company. In a relationship love came in all forms. It could be holding hands. A simple hug. A kiss. Becoming one.

Time did not equate to anything.

Time never solved anything.

How long you knew someone didn’t matter in the end.

Time only mattered when something died. When something new started.

The present was about them, and he would take that.

Forgetting the chapstick he kissed Namjoo. Touched the hair that fanned prettily around her head. Brushed her jaw and let his hand slide down to touch her neck. Soak in the soft texture of her creamy skin. Kiss her harder when she moved up into him and felt her delicate fingers touch his back. Their bellies seared. He touched the hem of her shirt. Dove his hand under to feel her skin and burn some more.

Desperation coasted through him willing away his self control. He wanted to touch her. Explore her in all places. Ravage her soul. Sehun tasted the heat of her breath. The want of her tongue. Imagined her legs around him as he pounded into her.

They scrambled away from each other upon the creak of the door. Heat flushed up into his face as Gunta rubbed his eyes. Sehun struggled to calm himself as Gunta called out for him.

He was a little freaked. A little panicked over what just happened.

It had happened so suddenly. The feeling had come on so strong.

He hadn’t felt anything like that…since forever.

The man that had been so desperate didn’t feel like him.

◊◊◊◊◊

Moowon woke up shortly. More like because she went to wake him up after Gunta did just so she had something else to do.

Sehun didn’t stay long. They awkwardly said goodbye to each other before she closed the door and went to take a shower. Let the water purify her thoughts even though she could still feel Sehun’s fingers tracing her skin temptingly.

She didn’t know what had happened or why it even did. They kissed a lot and it always gave her butterflies, but she honestly hadn’t thought about going all the way with him. Sehun was handsome. Tall. A lot of woman would pine after him. She didn’t doubt that. Anyone person would want him. Once. Even though they were in a consensual relationship she just hadn’t thought about it.

Sleeping together wasn’t a topic in their relationship. They always talked about Moowon or Gunta. Sometimes Daehwi.

Thinking about it made Namjoo more embarrassed now. To have let it happen. She should have just pushed him off, but then she had thought about it as he crushed her. Wondering about his strong, manly body on top and making love to her.

Namjoo shook her head to wake up. She couldn’t be having these thoughts. She already had Moowon.

She was a mom she chided herself. She was a single mom and it was a lot of work. She had to be responsible. She couldn’t be having just because it had been too long.

Don’t be stupid she scolded herself.

But there was this other part of her. She did want to be a woman. She did want to let loose. Feel like she deserved to be touched and wanted.

Namjoo struggled with these conflicted thoughts. Too aware of the consequences of sleeping with a man. Letting him deeper into her life. Of letting her feelings take control. She was supposed to be smart after Daehwi.

Remember, she told herself, how he left her. How she had suffered alone with her son.

But all men are different…

Pulling her knees up to her chest she buried her face into her hands. She could want Sehun, but after that what?

It was suddenly becoming more real. The future and what he could become in it. Realizing now she had brushed it off too lightly. She shouldn’t have. She should have weighed everything possible, so that today she wouldn’t have been foolish.

Because Sehun wasn’t a simple fling. She wanted to be serious with him. That was why it mattered so much what he could become to her in her life. Why she wanted Moowon to get along with him. Accept him as he is. They could become picture perfect. Her. Sehun. Moowon. Gunta.

They could.

Namjoo’s head shot up when her phone went off. She jumped for it worried Moowon would wake. After showering she had soothed him back to bed and was now sitting with the lights off. Stuck in her own distasteful thoughts.

Worrying about every single factor in her life.

“Were you sleeping?” it was Sehun.

“No.” She pinched the blanket between her fingers needing to do something.

There was a second of silence and she wondered if he may have called on mistake. “I wondered for a while if I should call.”

She didn’t know what to say. All she managed was, “Oh…”

He sounded guilty making her feel worse. She felt ashamed for some reason, because she had urged him on earlier. To kiss her more. Touch her more. They might have even had on her couch if Gunta hadn’t woken up.

If it had happened like that, she wouldn’t be happy.

Being hot headed and easily swayed by such emotions weren’t what they were like.

“I’m sorry about earlier.” Sehun remorsefully apologized.

“Me, too.” Namjoo quietly said. Glad he felt the same. Curious if he had been having the same thoughts.

“I actually don’t know what got into me,” Sehun told. “I’m not like that. You know that, right?”

Namjoo couldn’t help but smile because he was being cute. Assuring her he wanted more in a relationship than just to sleep with her. She knew he was a sincere person. From the way he loved Gunta she saw how gentle he was. That life to him was worth more than just being accompanied nightly by a woman.

Still, she teased, “Are you sure?”

“I said I’m not!” he retaliated. She tried not to giggle too loudly.

“I aceept your answer then, Gunta’s dad,” Namjoo further teased.

“I’ll let you have the last laugh. Just this once,” Sehun mumbled.

She smiled thinking if he was here talking with her, she’d hug him. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Sehun.”

“Will you dream about me?” he asked. She imagined he was grinning.

“You dream about me first,” Namjoo said.

They ended up prolonging the conversation for another five minutes. At ease now Namjoo sank into her pillow and finally fell asleep.

When she saw Sehun in the morning they were less awkward with each other than she thought they’d be. They were all smiles. In their own world as they walked Moowon and Gunta up to the daycare.

Contrary to yesterday, Namjoo felt ten times more attracted to him. The feeling coming to her strangely. Hitting her from out of nowhere. Today, she was seeing Sehun in a different light. Not because the sun was too bright. She could assure herself of that.

Noticing he really did ooze manly charm. Looking firm and tall. Sturdy underneath his clothes. He was fit and masculine. His shoulders were superbly broad. She imagined the strength in his arms; the muscles she might feel when she touched him. The thought made her temperature rise. Suddenly she thought of the empire of muscles in his back. Thinking once more she had seen him topless before.

Namjoo’s heart raced. She shouldn’t be thinking these things, but she was. Her eyes traced his body over one more time to her satisfaction. He was really so unbelievably handsome. How come she hadn’t realized that before?

A tingle spread through her body. She turned away from him to stop herself from staring. What was wrong with her?

“Namjoo,” Sehun called. “Namjoo, did you hear me?”

“Huh? What?” she abruptly turned to him hoping her face wasn’t red.

“I was wondering if Moowon would be ok sleeping over,” he said. “Gunta was asking about it.” He blinked and she wondered if her face had really turned red. She was ready to flee because she was freaking out.  

She was suddenly feeling ually attracted to him.

***hehehe because it's been so long since they've dated they're not really certain if they're being impulsive or if it's really them being honest about their desires