◊◊◊◊◊

Saturday. Just them. A smile crept across her lips as she stared up at the ceiling. Still recalling the way Sehun appeared so nervous when he’d brought it up. Thinking of it made her feel giddy, like he was asking her out for the first time.

Namjoo retained her giggle. She didn’t want to wake Moowon up because of her nonsense. Ever since the night she and Daehwi fought Moowon wouldn’t sleep without her. He had cried so hard that night it took her hours to hush him. No more talks of his beloved dad and it made her sad for him.

A child needed his father. Never had she wanted to take something so precious from him. Then it had happened. Running her fingers through his hair she leaned over to kiss the roof of his head. If Moowon could always be cheery like Gunta she’d be less worried, but her son seemed to take after her. Maybe she had spent too much time wallowing over her past instead of focusing on the road ahead. Perhaps she was teaching Moowon all the wrong things in life.

Great, now she was feeling like an incompetent mother again. Moowon whimpered but didn’t wake up. Patting his back to soothe him Namjoo turned to snuggle with him. Hoping her son would have a bigger heart than her and learn to forgive his dad.

Daehwi called the following morning. Wanting to know if he could take them out.

She walked up to her ex-husband with Moowon tightly gripping her hand. She had managed to buy him an ice slushy, which kept him busy. A few yards away she spotted Daehwi staring off toward the green fields. He’d chosen a recreational park near the river today. Reasoning it was Sunday families would be out lazing around before the work week resumed.

He was dressed in casual slacks. Simple t-shirt. Still looking boyish for his age. And she thought Sehun looked mature whether he was in jeans or his dress shirt or dress pants. Always having an air about him that said he was a reliable man.

Namjoo shook the thoughts away as she turned attention to her son. “Moowon, look who’s here?”

Her son glanced at her then ahead. His expression contorted before clutching onto her leg spilling his slushy. It streaked down her jeans toward her shoes.

“No, mommy, no,” he whimpered hugging her. “Don’t wanna!”

“Moowon,” Namjoo tried consoling. “It’s just your daddy. Don’t you want to see your daddy?”

“Mommy, no!” he cried. “Mommy!”

She looked at Daehwi helpless. He took a step closer. Moowon cried louder attracting attention. Burying his face into the crook of her arm afraid. Namjoo rubbed his back before lifting him up.

“I don’t think today’s going to work,” Namjoo said.

“Ok, it’s fine.” Daehwi looked regrettable. His hand lifted to pat Moowon on the back but stopped. “Maybe in a few days he’ll feel better.”

“Yea.” She solemnly agreed. Moowon hiccupped into her shoulder as she turned to walk away. Wondering, again, how it had come to this.

◊◊◊◊◊

“Another fundraiser,” his mother mused washing the dishes. His mother had come over for brunch, but he thought it was more of an excuse because his father had gone golfing with his friends and she had nothing to do so why not nag her son? “It’s just her way of saying it’s a date.”

The way she so smugly smiled pleased bothered him. He chose not to argue.

“It must be one of those formal events if there’s going to be an auction,” his mother went on perkily. “Oh, I should help you find something nice to wear.” Looking at him more seriously, “Do you even have anything nice to wear?”

“Mom, I think I’m old enough to take care of my business myself.”

“Look at you.” Her eyes traced over his sweats.

“We should go shopping.” She shifted to look at him.

With his mother? No way.

“Please, mom,” Sehun begged. “It’s not a very formal event.”

“A fundraiser with an auction? You’re kidding me,” his mother scoffed. “You know who attends auctions? The rich!”

Another eyeroll from him.

“So you can bet there will be well-known businessmen there. Talking about that, you can network at the same time. Isn’t that great?!” she grinned.

Now she was just heading into that little fairyland of hers. Sehun couldn’t bear to listen anymore. He turned when his phone beeped and saw that it was a message from Namjoo. Tuning his mother out he picked his phone up.

“If you’re not busy today, is it all right if Gunta comes out to play with Moowon?”

His very first smile of the day climbed onto his face. He about typed in an answer when his mother interrupted, “Who are you talking to?”

Hiding his phone behind him he looked at his mother, heart tripping. “Uh…Joonseok. It’s about work.”

“On a weekend?” The woman frowned. “That’s absurd! Tell him no.”

“It’s important, mom,” Sehun excused. “I think I should head out, so you should go.”

“Nonsense. Who’s going to watch Gunta?”

“He can come with me,” Sehun continued. “It’s just a quick trip to the office.”

She continued frowning at him. Talking his ear off about being good to Saemi before she finally slipped into her shoes and left. Sehun waited a good five minutes before turning to Gunta, “Ok, buddy. You ready to go have some fun?”

◊◊◊◊◊

Namjoo was pushing Moowon on a swing at the children’s park when he arrived with Gunta. Letting go of his son’s hand Gunta dashed toward the pair. Squealing as Namjoo helped him onto the empty swing beside Moowon.

“I can push him,” Sehun said when he reached them. Noticing Moowon’s dry red eyes he wondered, “He ok?”

“Oh yea,” Namjoo replied. “He’s just having trouble approaching his dad again. I thought Gunta could cheer him up.”

“I’m sure he can,” he smiled. He hesitated before asking, “Is everything ok between the two of you?” Rather trying to say are you two back together? in a cowardly way.

“For the most part,” Namjoo answered.

Yes? No? He wanted to pry more but he had no bounds.

“About Saturday,” she started.

“Yes?” he abruptly turned to her and then blushed. “I…I mean, what about Saturday?”

“I was just wondering where it’s being held at,” Namjoo said.

“At the coex,” Sehun told. “There’ll be an auction, too.”

“So, no kids?” Namjoo wondered.

He went quiet at the question. He hadn’t inquired about it. Knowing he didn’t want Saemi meeting Gunta no kids sounded better. “Yea…”

As if due to a magnetic force their eyes slid toward each other. The throbbing of his heart intensified. Needing to say something he stupidly said, “It’s not a date.” Immediately clamping his mouth shut he wished he could slap himself.

Correcting himself direly, “I…I…I’m talking about Saemi. We…we’re not dating. Yea…that’s…that’s what I meant to say. We’re not dating.” Adding fiercely, “I’m not meeting her as a date Saturday.”

By now he wasn’t sure if he was hyperventilating. Was he holding his breath too hard? God, he was so stupid! Why was his brain not functioning? He just could never appear intelligent around her. Sehun wanted to shrivel up and melt.

“Mommy,” Moowon broke the impending quiet that was dooming him. “I wanna go play on the slide.”

“Ok.” Namjoo grabbed the swing to stop and let him run off. Gunta hurriedly chased after him leaving the two adults alone. Sehun felt his breathing pick up wondering how he’d amend the situation.

Silence drifted in and he prayed awkwardness would not be next. Namjoo pressed her lips together before glancing at him. Smiling daintily, “Ok, Sehun. I know.”

Relief burst through him like an erupting volcano. A tiny smile stole its way onto his face and he decided not to yap anymore for his own sake.

◊◊◊◊◊

Deciding jeans was too casual Namjoo threw on a dress she sometimes wore to work. She didn’t want to go to the fundraiser looking too glamorous but at least she wouldn’t be dressed down. Yurim agreed to take Moowon for a few hours, so Namjoo was hands free when she arrived at the coex. Neither she nor Sehun had agreed on a time to meet. Just that the doors would open at 6:00 and 6:30 was when she planned to arrive. If Sehun was already there she wasn’t aware.

Out of all the black heads she knew no one which didn’t help her feel any more out of place than she already was. Glancing at her phone she decided she’d stay no more than an hour just out of courtesy since she was already here. If she didn’t find Sehun it was all right too though she found herself hoping she’d see him.

The large stadium was decorated with all kinds of extravagant and exotic art hanging on the walls or plastered across partitions every quarter of the way. Everyone seemed so busy, caught up chatting or walking back and forth to gaze at the arts. Namjoo knew nothing about arts and crafts, so when she heard spectators mulling over texture and color schemes, she didn’t understand anything. Once again, feeling like she hadn’t been educated enough. Everyone here was out of her league.

No food for her to nibble on sadly. She wished she looked occupied, but she only had the security of her phone clutched in her hand. Afraid to put it away in her clutch because she didn’t know what to do. She was solo and felt like all eyes were on her. Feeling like she was the only student who had bombed her math exam while everyone else passed. That kind of insecurity hovered over her like a dark shadow.

“Do you like this piece?”

“Huh?” Namjoo turned to find an older man talking to her. She turned to look at the painting of a rural landscape.

“The colors blend really well,” he said. “If you look here, the artist intentionally roughened up the hillside and blurred the sky to make it realistic, but the grass here is softly shaded. Imagine you’re standing here and looking off into the distance.”

Namjoo nodded feeling confident that she had just gained a piece of knowledge for the night. “Yes, you’re right.”

The man grinned at her. “Are you here alone?”

Namjoo’s expression faltered before she turned to see Sehun walking up. “She’s my guest for the night.”

“I see. I’m sorry,” he apologized. “Enjoy your night.”

Namjoo watched him walk away now puzzled. She was here alone tonight, wasn’t she? So why did it feel like, from the back of her head, she expected their rendezvous tonight to be something else? If in fact, they weren’t Gunta’s father or Moowon’s mother he’d be the man who had just saved her from being hitched. Or putting a claim on her.

She looked up at Sehun feeling her heart pound harder. As foolish as it was a thought, she could honestly feel the world spinning under her feet. Her mind dizzy from euphoria. She should be embarrassed for thinking of these things, but honestly, she was glad. Happy.

Sehun was striking tonight. Not just casually. She could tell he had put some effort into his hair. Dabbed on cologne. The hint of it made her blood rush. He was even wearing a blazer to match his outfit. He looked strangely masculine and taller than she remembered. She hoped she didn’t look like an ugly duckling next to him.

“I was by the doors,” Sehun explained before she could ask. “I thought I’d see you come in, but there’s more people than I expected.”

“I guess they really got the word out,” Namjoo agreed looking around at the busy goers surrounding them.

“It’s less crowded over here,” he said leading her toward the back wall where few were gazing over the framed 24x36 posters. All photographs of different sceneries. Depicting different stories and people. Laughing, smiling, crying. Sharing love with family, their child, or simply walking through a gold field of wheat alone.

“I can see Gunta in that picture,” Namjoo said then caught Sehun's eyes. A tenderness s through her blood causing her cheeks to heat up. Fiddling with her hands, she asked, “So, who’s watching him tonight?”

“My mom,” Sehun answered.

“He’s lucky,” Namjoo mused enviously and wished he didn’t have to see this side of her. “Moowon has never met his grandparents.”

“I’m sorry.” He apologized.

“It’s ok,” Namjoo assured. Then apologized, “Sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin the mood.”

She looked toward the picture of the lone girl walking through the golden field to get a short breather. When she turned she found him looking at her somberly. The expression in his eyes were so soft, so gentle she felt her knees go weak. Warmth quavered through her. Accepting the fact that there was a quiet form of affection he was offering.

“You look pretty tonight,” Sehun told. Namjoo blushed ten times harder. Her gaze darted away then up to meet his eyes then away again.

“You look nice, too,” Namjoo complimented. Now she had done it. Her heart thudded so loud she could feel the ground shaking. Courageously allowing herself to glance at him. He shyly smiled when she did. So fuzzy inside Namjoo grinned, too.

“Sehun!” A voice called out.

Their brief moment was cut short when they turned to find Saemi walking toward them. Namjoo’s heart flunked when she neared, but she politely smiled anyway. Unlike her, Saemi was glamorously dressed. Her chiffon dress sparkled. Makeup done to match. Her hair looked like soft luxurious waves Namjoo wanted to touch. She was so femininely beautiful on a level Namjoo didn’t think she could ever match.

“You made it!” she beamed smiling so prettily Namjoo’s stomach flipped. Even her teeth were pure white. The envy she felt killed her inside. Obviously, Namjoo could see the hearts in her eyes fluttering for Sehun. Beside them she felt so small.

Namjoo took a step back to leave them be. Contrary to her intention, she caught Saemi’s attention. “Oh, hi!” she greeted kindly. Appearing flustered, “I’m sorry. I know we met before, but I don’t remember your name.”

“Namjoo,” she replied. “Moowon’s mom.”

“That’s right! Gunta’s friend’s mother,” she smiled so broadly Namjoo started wondering if hurt. Attention back to Sehun, “There are seats near the back of the room. We’re going to start the auction in an hour, so look around. I hope you stay until the end. I reserved a restaurant. I hope you didn’t forget.”

Namjoo peeked at Sehun curiously although a part of her heart sunk even lower. Now she really felt like an idiot for allowing herself to process the emotions she had earlier.

What the hell was she thinking? She was no woman. She was Moowon’s mother, who had come…

The thought dissipated when Saemi said to her, “Please stay for the auction, too. You don’t have to purchase anything, but I’d love it if you did.” Looking at her phone, “I have to go now.” Namjoo watched her touch Sehun’s arm, “I’ll see you later.”

She didn’t know what to think when Saemi walked away. She burned inside. Tried convincing herself there was no need to feel like she had been dropped. How foolish that was!

She felt angry with herself. Letting herself think that there were the slightest of feelings that existed between them. Exactly what had gone through her head? Maybe she was too upset with Daehwi she was allowing her head to get the best of her.

That it had been too long since she had felt the feelings of a man.

“Actually…” Sehun started.

Rebutting him, Namjoo cut him off, “Lets look around some more. I saw some really nice paintings that way.”

Steeling herself she pivoted to walk away. Chanting to herself to get it together. She wouldn’t be stupid. She wouldn’t be silly. Sehun had asked her to come to the fundraiser, so she had simply come. There was no other reason.

She mindlessly traveled the stadium and found a seat when the auction started. Feeling her mind wander off to nowhere else but the wallowing disappointment pulling her into its dark hole. Not interested in the pieces being sold even as she felt Sehun beside her.

It finally ended an hour and a half later. Namjoo just wanted to go home. Hug Moowon to sleep.

“I’ll walk you to your car,” Sehun offered as they filed out along with the dispersing crowd.

“It was interesting,” Namjoo said fiddling with her fingers again.

“I suppose,” he monotonously agreed. He sounded bored like he’d rather be elsewhere, but maybe it was just a work of her mind. Why, when Saemi was here?

“You don’t have to walk me all the way,” Namjoo stared up at him. Regretting it when their eyes met, and she felt hope jump to life inside her. Forcing it down she trudged on. Chiding herself she was just wishing for things that weren’t there.

“No, I want to,” Sehun insisted. Of course, it was the gentlemanly thing to do.

Neither said anything the entire rest of the walk. Finally reaching her car she turned around. “So,” she started, “you have a dinner date.”

He darted his eyes away. The way he always did.

“It must be a fancy restaurant,” Namjoo noted now realizing perhaps he had dressed up for it.

“I’m not really sure about that,” Sehun said.

They stood quietly, as if there were more things to be said. The both of them unable to move, because doing so meant bearing an unwanted hour.

Namjoo did what she always did anyway. “Enjoy your date.”

Sehun looked at her with dejected eyes. The organ in her chest throbbed for him.

“Have a good night, Namjoo,” he said. “Thanks, for coming out.”

She forced a smile and nodded. “Yea.” He looked at her, downcast. His shoulders becoming drearier the farther he walked away, like a miserable man headed off to war. She watched gloomily with yearning. Stricken with a heavy heart. Namjoo chastised herself. Forcing herself to get in her car. When she drove off, she peered into her rearview mirror hoping she might get a last glimpse of him.

***I hope the pacing wasn't rushed here :///