◊◊◊◊◊

“We’ll develop a pond here. I talked to the wildlife restorative services and they’ve ok’d our plan,” Joonseok explained. Moving his pen in a circular motion around the map he’d drawn up he further explained, “And over here are where the trees will grow. It’s been reduced to 15 acres, so we should make good use of it. We’re getting dirt donated…”

His voice faded in and out of Sehun’s ears. Dirt he thought. He wanted to bury himself in dirt. How many times was he going to embarrass himself by saying the wrong things in front of Namjoo before he fizzled. He sighed. Other than receiving her short reply through text he felt like such a horrendous loser.

“What? Is my idea not good?” Joonseok looked at him.

“What?” Attention coming to Sehun blinked. “No, no. Not you. Of course not.”

Joonseok crossed his arms. “You need a minute?”

“A break sounds good,” Sehun agreed and immediately stood up to leave their office. Heading down the hallway with his empty tumbler he stopped by the water fountain to refill his water.

Now he had to call Saemi because he’d already made his appointment to drop Gunta off at Namjoo’s. There had to be an excuse for there to be a reason. He didn’t really understand what was going through his head anymore.

Maybe he was letting Joomi get to him. She had talked so much nonsense when she last visited. Assuming he wanted to have fun time with Namjoo while their kids slept. He should have slammed her for it. Namjoo wasn’t that kind of person. He wasn’t that kind of person. They weren’t irresponsible or the kinds of people who put their desires before their children.

And…Namjoo was trying to work things out with her ex.

Sehun jumped back when the water started splattering. Realizing too late that his tumbler was already full. Groaning under his breath he shook the water off cursing himself. What the hell was he thinking anyway? He was just Gunta’s father. And he had a date with Saemi.

He did call her after work to arrange the date. Yes, I’d love to she’d said. The deal was locked. He’d just purposely made his weekend worse. A loser he was indeed. Then he arrived at the daycare after work. The kids were having free time. Screeching like wild monkeys as Mrs. Lee greeted him. Praising Gunta for being so social and friendly, good traits for a child his age.

“And Moowon?” Sehun asked. “How’s he doing?”

“Oh? Moowon?” Mrs. Lee’s eyes glimmered with a nod. “He’s great. Quite energetic and super adorable. He also gets along with everyone.”

So Moowon gets along with everyone. Sehun sunk that in while also reminiscing the many ways the child stared at him with trepidation. Maybe it was just him Moowon didn’t like.

Why?

“At his age he is very smart. I actually think Gunta relies on him almost like they’re brothers. Oh, speaking about Moowon. I see his mother.” At this Sehun quickly turned around and unbeknownst to him he fully shifted to see her.

Not her ex today.

Not her ex.

Not today.

A smile popped onto his face. Out of his control. Without even thinking. Their eyes locked a moment longer enticing his heart to race. They’d just seen each other that morning and he was feeling like Santa had just granted one of his wishes. A little stupid but he couldn’t help feeling jolly. Then he caught himself and bit his lower lip to stop. What the hell was he doing? Grinning like a fool?

He was such a loser.

He was just Gunta’s dad.

Namjoo was trying to work things out with her ex.

They weren’t even friends. Just parents trading favors because their sons had become best friends.

“H…hi,” he greeted as she walked up, “I’m picking Gunta up.”

From the side Mrs. Lee looked at them with a grin. Namjoo just looked at him with an obvious smile to assure him of his stupidity. He wished for a shovel to bury himself.

God, he was doing it again.

To help, Mrs. Lee in, “I was just telling Gunta’s father how Gunta looks up to Moowon just like they’re brothers. They do so great together.”

“That’s good!” Namjoo commented. “I was worried Moowon would get lonely.”

“Go on in. The kids are enjoying their free time,” Mrs. Lee urged then added coyly, “you’ll find them together and you can leave together if you like.”

Sehun avoided eye contact with the elder woman as they headed in. The boys were at a table engrossed in building blocks. He witnessed for the first time as Moowon let out an excited shriek when his tower tumbled. Appearing like a child at play instead of the son who wanted to protect his mother from him. Beside him, Gunta was struggling to build his unsteady tower.

Like brothers Mrs. Lee had said. The boys didn’t look similar physically, but they connected uniquely. Did Gunta think of Moowon like a brother?

Out of the corner of his eyes he glanced at Namjoo. Curious if she was wondering the same.

“Daddy!” Gunta ran over to him. Clinging onto his pants he stared up into his face. “Why face red?”

Embarrassment heightening, Sehun wished the floor would open up to swallow him. “Daddy’s just hot.”

His eyes jot toward the right when he heard Namjoo giggle. Even more ashamed he focused his attention on his son. “You ready to go little man?”

“Hawm?” Gunta asked. “Moowon?”

“Moowon has to go with his mom,” Sehun told.

“Why?” Gunta asked.

“Because they’re going home and we’re going to our home.”

“Why?” His question again.

Now laughing, Sehun lifted his son. “Come on, little guy. No more questions. Are you going to say bye?”

He turned to glance at Namjoo who was broadly smiling. Eyes more on Gunta than him. Listening to Gunta bid his farewell. “Bye auntay! Bye bye Moowonie!”

Namjoo offered another one of her little smiles when their eyes met again one last time. He helplessly returned the smile before walking off with his son.

◊◊◊◊◊

“No daddy?” Moowon asked that night after his bath.

“Not today,” Namjoo replied tucking him in.

“Why?”

“Daddy has his work,” Namjoo explained sitting on the edge of the bed.

“What does daddy do?”

“Well,” Namjoo began, “he fixes a house for people like you and me, a family. And then he shows it to the people who want to live in it.”

“Like you and me?” Moowon adorably asked.

“Yes,” Namjoo smiled. “A family.”

“Do they have a doggy?”

Namjoo cheerily laughed. “Yes, they have a dog. A bird, too and they let it fly around the house. And they have a little boy just like you.”

“And mommy and daddy,” Moowon excitedly added.

“That’s right.” Namjoo playfully tickled him. “So daddy is busy working at the house. You won’t be able to see him for a few days. Ok?”

“Ok,” Moowon nodded.

“That’s a good boy,” Namjoo kissed his cheek. “Go to sleep.”

She sat with him waiting until he drifted off before leaving. Moving into the kitchen to scrub the table clean. Organize the toys in the living room. Sweeping and checking to see if the garbage was full. Then the door buzzed signaling someone was here.

Only one person came to mind.

Namjoo intentionally let him wait before letting him up. Daehwi clutched a bouquet of roses as he greeted her. Cheekily grinning. Eyes sparkling with anticipation as if she might open her arms for him. Then they would do what they used to do. Cuddle. Kiss. Maybe make love.

Flatly staring at him she didn’t reach for them. The sight of him irritated her.

Work he said he had. Amazing he was able to come here all the way in the middle of the night, because he had never put an ounce of effort into doing anything for her when she had Moowon.

She wanted to slap some sense into him. They weren’t young any more. She wasn’t the same girl who was willing to give him all her love.

Forget love.

It had never helped her. It had never mended anything for her.

The only good thing it had given her was her son.

“Oh, come on,” he started when she turned away.

“They’ll go in the garbage in two days,” Namjoo said when he closed the door.

She heard him sigh before asking, “Is Moowon asleep?”

“Be quiet.” Was all she gave. What the hell did he expect from her coming here at this time?!

“This early? It’s,” he glanced at his phone, “only eight.”

“I think I’m the one who gets to decide here.” Namjoo wheeled around on him. “I raised him.”

“You’re not really going to do this again.” Daehwi placed the flowers on the table looking at her exasperated. “Haven’t we gone over this already?”

“Then you should leave.” Namjoo gestured her head toward the door. “Did I ask you to come?”

He scoffed in disbelief. “Kim Namjoo…”

“Do not Kim Namjoo me,” Namjoo warned.

“Why are you in such a bad mood?” Daehwi frowned.

Namjoo stared at the flowers wishing they’d disappear. She didn’t want anything from him! At all!

Stupid flowers!

He was so materialistic with her.

She just wanted…

She didn’t know what she actually wanted.

For him to cross the bridge so she could push him away? Give him a taste of his own medicine? Right. Maybe she still wanted him to hurt as much as she had bled for him.

“Are you rejecting me because of a man?” Daehwi asked.

Namjoo felt her head erupt. Her expression contorted. Stretching between bewilderment and incredulity. “What?”

“I heard from Moowon you want to replace me.” Daehwi stared at her inquiringly.

Namjoo laughed with an eye roll. “Are you weaving a drama?”

“I’m serious Namjoo,” Daehwi stated. “Are you seeing someone?”

“No.” she immediately answered then wished she hadn’t answered at all. Why did it matter? Daehwi didn’t matter.

He smiled. Pleased. It irked her. “Then Saturday. Lets go on a date. Moowon can come, too.”

“No,” Namjoo rejected. “I have plans.”

“Don’t lie. I know you don’t do anything,” Daehwi rebounded with hope.

“As a matter of fact, I do,” Namjoo stated. “And my plans do not include you.”

His brow twitched. It made her happy. He ordered, “Change your plans then.”

“No,” she said again.

Strained with frustration he demanded, “Why are you doing this to me? After I come all this way just for you! What can be more important than your husband?!”

Anger started burning inside her. Really disgruntled now. He really wanted to strike her nerve, did he? Namjoo was out of patience for him. She should have never opened the door for him! She wanted to lash back. Remind him of all his wrongdoings. That he was more of a bastard than she was a , but she restrained herself because she didn’t want to raise her voice.

“Moowon’s friend is coming over.”

Daehwi’s face calmed then became vexed. “You’re babysitting again?”

“That’s not your problem.” Namjoo steely pointed out.

Daehwi hissed through his breath. “That jerk.” He paced to the right. “It’s that jerk, huh?” To the left with his voice higher, “It’s him!” Looking at her, “Isn’t it?!”

Namjoo watched unaffected as he muttered his head off. She regretted not going to sleep sooner. She could have cleaned tomorrow. It wouldn’t have hurt to put it off another day.

“You’re seeing him, aren’t you?” Daehwi accused. His eyes bulged resentful. “That’s why you’ve been so cold to me. You let him in and out of your home like he lives here. Have you been to his place, too? He used his son to get to you, didn’t he?” He snorted, spat then riled on, “Moowon’s friend’s father. My .”

“Han Daehwi!” she shouted.

“Try and lie to me, Namjoo,” Daehwi dared her.

Namjoo first gritted her teeth. “Fine.” She hissed. “Yes. Yes, yes you’re right. You’re right about everything.”

“NO!” he raged lunging toward her. Grasping her arms, he shook her, “You’re lying! You love me! I know you do! Just say it! Say that you do!”

“Let go! Are you crazy?!” Namjoo screamed trying to push him off her. Her head snapped back and forth. The yellow ceiling lights turned into blurs of strange colors.

“Kim Namjoo! You can’t do this to me! You are mine!”

“MOMMY!!” The shrill cry of her child froze every particle in the room. Daehwi glanced back to see Moowon standing behind them sobbing. He immediately released her shocked. Glancing at his hands wondering what he’d just done.

Han Daehwi the first love of her life had never hit her even if he cheated. The only violence he had done to her was shattering her heart into pieces. Tonight, he had done it again.

“Moowon…” he breathed taking a step toward the little boy. Crying fearfully Moowon stepped back from his father. Sniffing, hiccupping so hard he didn’t sound like he was breathing correctly. His face was drenched in tears.

Namjoo felt tears roll down her face from seeing Moowon cower for the first time. And it hurt her and made her feel sorry.

“Get out,” she demanded. When Daehwi looked at her she bellowed, “GET OUT!”

Daehwi opened his mouth to speak. Forfeiting his shoulders dropped as he glanced at his son one more time. When the door finally closed Namjoo rushed toward Moowon. Collapsing onto her knees and pulling him into her arms.

“Mommy, mommy, mommy,” he wailed clinging onto her for dear life.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” she apologized. “I’m sorry.”

◊◊◊◊◊

“Mommy! No! Why you have to go?” A child was wailing when Sehun walked up to the daycare hand in hand with Gunta.

Near the front doors with Mrs. Lee crouching trying to console the heartbroken child, he wondered what mother was having such bad luck today. He glanced down at Gunta who looked up at him with his snarky grin.

When he neared, he recognized it was Moowon who wouldn’t let go of his mother. Having tugged her blouse out of her pants from his struggle. Grappling onto her shirt that a button had become undone. He was a crying mess today. Namjoo's neat hair was now frayed around her head.

“I go with mommy,” Moowon wept. “Mommy don’t leave me. Mommy! Mommy!”

On her knees Namjoo resembled like a prisoner begging for her life. She was cradling Moowon against her, rubbing his head quietly talking to him while Mrs. Lee patted his small back.

“Moowonie?” Gunta whimpered sounding like he was about to cry, too. “Moowonie cry cry. Moowonie no cry.”

His lips downturned sadly.

“It’s ok,” Sehun patted his back. “Lets go in first.”

He walked Gunta in and waited nearby the front turning when Namjoo walked out. She still hadn’t been able to tuck her shirt back in, but was quickly buttoning it as she raced by, pausing when she saw him.

“Oh…” she looked surprised then pulled on a smile. “Good morning.”

He couldn’t help staring at her messy hair wondering if she realized.

“You ok?” he asked.

“Yea…” her eyes averted. He watched her press her lips together as her false expression became somber. “We had a fight.” She quickly blinked back tears at her confession.

There it was again. That feeling. Of his pulse rushing. She was moving him again.

“It kind of got violent,” her voice dropped guiltily. “Moowon saw.”

He wanted to hug her. Instead, he touched her head combing his fingers through the silky strands. The air stirred with hearts as the tears in her eyes dried and she looked up to meet with his eyes.

Maybe he was a fool.

Maybe he wasn’t.