"Hello?"

"Where are you, Nancy?"

Wow! I haven't heard her voice for days.

She sound happy.

But why is she looking for me suddenly?

"Home."

"I keep on calling you, why are you not answering?"

And then what? Finally hear it that Taeha and you are back together? Oh please, it hurts already hearing it from the people everywhere in school. What more from you? 

Can I just runaway from reality? Or can I just get over her easily?

"Sorry, I was busy."

"Are you? Or you're avoiding me?"

Please.. please tell her Nancy that indeed you are avoiding her. That it hurts you seeing her with Taeha. That you love her. Please tell her.

 

That you're still hoping, still loving and still hurting.

"No, why would I avoid you?" Yeonwoo sighed on the other line and God knows how much I am fighting a sob from coming out right now.

"Come here. I am at a the usual karaoke bar. I need to tell you something."

"But it's already 9 in the ev-"

"I haven't see you in days, Nancy. Come here or I'll come there to pick you up."

As usual. She always win over me.

"I'll be there."

 

 

The coldness of the night suddenly vanished when Yeonwoo approach me with a warm hug. I want to lean and stay in her arms more but she already let go.

She's really happier now.

"Thank you for coming."

Damn, I miss you so much.

"Yeah right. I was forced."

And then I heard her laugh, a real one. 
I was actually stunned. Yeonwoo laughed and she's not drunk!

"Oh come on. You love me. Right?" She ask. And then it stirred me.

"I do.I love you." So I answered honestly what my heart contains while looking at her clear orbs. She seem surprised, so I continue.

 "But that probably won't make any difference. You love her. You love her and not me. And I guess that was what always hurt me the most.

Knowing I can't have you."

I hope she won't see the sad smile in my eyes. Am I taking her joke seriously? Idgaf!

 

"I will always be that other girl."

Now she froze. 

Is it a sudden confession? But I've been holding it within me, I thought I will be dead for real if a day goes on and Yeonwoo still don't know my feelings.

Remind me to celebrate later. I just crossed that 'friend' line.

"I just wish that if I ask you if you love me, you'll lie to me. Can you lie to me?"

"Nancy.." I see pain in her eyes.

And I thought she don't really like lying at all.

It made me quivered. "But ofcourse we're friends and.....  I'm sorry." 

I feel pressure building behind my lids.

"Just.. just let me love you. You don't have to reciprocate my feelings. I just want to let you know.. and l-i know it's too late."

Too late or I actually never had a chance. It hurts the same.

"Let's go. They're probably waiting."I told her. She keeps on looking at me with a pain in her eyes and that's the last thing I want right now. Her pity.

Keep it together Nancy, smile like everything's okay. You're a master of facade, right?

 

We entered a room quietly.

I shouldn't be so surprised right? To see Taeha sitting in the table. And what is this? wow, Yeonwoo actually have friends now? Great. She's becoming better. Taeha really makes her a better person.

"Guys, meet Nancy." Is it me or I hint sadness in her voice? 

"Oh come on, we know her. She's famous because of you. Hi Nancy, I'm Daisy."

Yup I remember them. I remember the people who talks behind Yeonwoo's back when Taeha and her broke up. But she never saw this one girl at the far end of the table.

"Yeonwoo was quite protective of you. Thanks for being there for her. Ahin by the way."

How strange. This are the people who help push Yeonwoo down. Why is she with them now?

"Hahaha. The only student who have the guts to approach Yeonwoo is here. Well, you're a transfer student back then so it's understandable. I am Hyebin."

"I know we aren't really that good to Yeonwoo before. She already forgive us and I hope you can also stop glaring at each one of us. We're really good people. Jane."

So I am that obvious that I don't like this meeting? Haha. That's amusing.
I bet they are all Taeha's friends. I never saw them standing for Yeonwoo.

"I'm Taeha, Yeonwoo's girlfriend." 

Then there it is. Like a bullet pierced through my heart, killing me on the spot.

I look at Yeonwoo and then she slowly nod for confirmation. That's it. 

I fake a stronger smile this time hoping they can't see the pain within. But I know Yeonwoo already knows it.

"Nice to meet you all. I'm sorry I'm not really good with socializing but I hope we'll get along well."

I look at her and she looks at me. But this time it was different. 

"Congrats." Yeonwoo smile. The one I only see when she's drunk and talking about her happy memories with Taeha.

I made my way and sit beside the girl who didn't introduce herself yet. She give me her alcohol and without hesitation, I drink it.

"Nancy, you can't drink!" 

 

I know she will say that. She keep on saying that whenever we're in a bar. I can't smoke. I can't drink. I can't go home alone and late. I always do what she says but I feel like rebelling right now.

If only she told me "Nancy, you can't fall inlove with me." I might obey her. Or will I? 

"Yeonwoo, loosen up. She's 18."

I don't know who said it as I was liking the bitter taste of alcohol in my mouth to my throat. It helps my aching heart.

"I'm Nayun." The girl introduced beside me and offer another drink. I accept it again.

Now I can feel Yeonwoo glaring at me. 

"Nayun really likes you." A girl named Ahin said.

I look at Nayun. And she smile sweetly at me.

"You do?"

"Wow. You're not supposed to know it this way. Thanks Ahin." She roll her eyes and I smiled. She's kinda cute. 

"Atleast eat first, Nancy. Stop with the alcohol."

I heard Yeonwoo but I am trying to play dumb and ignore her. She should really stop making me feel special. She's so cruel.

Nayun give me another shot and I take it. God, she understand my feelings.

"NAYUN!" 

Everyone become silent. We're in a private room and an unknown music was playing. Nayun just smirk and take my hand.

She enter some numbers and a song appears on the screen. Nayun give the mic to me and I was hesitant at first. But then she encouraged me to sing.

The other guy by Stevie Hoang? What is this? I mean I know the song but how can Nayun know exactly what I feel?

The song starts playing and Nayun look at  me straight in the eyes. I see warmth and softness and care in her eyes. Why?

 

She sing the first word and I follow her lead.

Everyone's attention was in us. 

I don't wanna be there every timehe makes you cry
I don't wanna be there when he doesn't treat you right
I don't wanna be that person in your life
Don't wanna be the other guy.
I don't wanna be there every time he treats you bad
I don't wanna be the best thing that you never had.
I don't wanna be here left out on the side
Don't wanna be the other guy.

I sing the last chorus with so much emotion that I didn't know I was crying not until Nayun hugs me. I breakdown. 

The emotions I've been trying to hide, they finally reach it's limit and come rushing out through heavy sobs.

Nayun caressed my back.

Yeonwoo steps in. She hold my hand, trying to untangle me from Nayun's embrace but I don't want to deal with her yet. Nayun seems to understand as her hug tighten.

"Nayun, let her go!."

Are you mad? Are you mad that somebody is actually comforting me? Are you mad that I am broken and somebody is keeping me together? Are you mad that somebody is appreciating me? Why are you mad Yeonwoo?

Nayun take my other hand.

"No, you let her go Yeonwoo!" But Yeonwoo's grip was firm.

I pull my hands and she seem surprised by my action. What now?

"Let me go."

And ofcourse, it will be easy for her to do so. Why am i even hoping that she'll hold me longer? That she will ask me to stay. Hah. I'm such a fool.

Nayun drag me outside the tensioned room. So much for a  first encounter with the friends in Yeonwoo's life.

 

Thats it. I really need to flip on the next page and get over it. Yeonwoo, she's happy now.

*******

 

Still no legit Nanwoo interaction. How to survive this drought?. Gosh!