“Again, Reen. Will you go out on a date with me?” You try to fight his strong gaze on you but you end up captivated by it.

“I won’t force you to be in a relationship with me, but give me just one proper date with you. Then you can decide.” Hearing his determination, you finally give him a small nod.

“One date then.” You smile making Himchan spread out his brightest boyish grins. He gets up, thanking you. You let out a soft giggle watching Himchan being all excited.

“I will plan you the best date you ever got, Reen. I promise.” He beams happily. He is so happy that he would kiss you right now. A notification ring on your phone, you look at it. Daehyun’s name pops out. Himchan notices the change of your expression.

“Will be at the studio tonight. Go home safely.” – Idiotic Jung

You reply your brother text and get up. Himchan watches you, wondering what happen.

“Daehyun?” He guesses. You nod.

“Yeah… He told me he will be at the studio tonight. Do you guys have practice?” Himchan answers you with shooking his head. Maybe Daehyun has vocal training. You sigh, you worry about your brother if he’s into his training.

“It’s test week, he might have a vocal training or something. Don’t worry about him.” Himchan assures you, smiling. You nod slowly. Daehyun can take care of himself, he will always take care of his meals, the only thing that makes you worry about Daehyun is he could be stress eating.

“Do you want me to take you home? It will be dark soon.”

“Eh? Sorry?” You look at him, questioning him back. Realizing his slips, Himchan panickily correcting his words. However, he ends up blabbering more nonsenses causing you to laugh.

“It’s okay, I get it. I’ll be fine walking home. Thank you for asking.” You laugh more as you see Himchan looking bashful. How cute. You both bid goodbye and go home.

“You really agree with him?! Oh, damn girl! Where will you go? When? Are you both gonna be official dating behind your brother? Omg, the thrill!” Nara excitedly shooting you with questions making some students shush her. You both at the library, studying for the next test. Apologizing for her behavior, Nara turns back to you, looking at you intensely.

“So? Tell me E. VER. RI. THING.” She whispers, still with her excited tone. You glance around before leaning close to Nara.

“You really want to know?” you whisper, making Nara anticipate more. She nods furiously.

“Come on, Reen. Don’t be a tease!” She hisses. You grin.

“It’s just one date. He told me to decide it after the date. He will plan the date. That’s it.” You lean back on your chair but Nara pulls you back to her.

“Girl! We need to get you to dress up! Be pretty and feminine for once!” Nara starts planning all sort of things to make you look good for the date.

“What? I’ll just wear whatever I want. It’s just a date.” You shrug her off.

“Reen!”

“SSHHHH!” Again, Nara apologizing for her behavior. She clicks her tongue, this won’t do. Nara packs up her books and drags you out from the library. This conversation can’t be just whispering when it’s involving Reen.

“What are we doing here?” You watch your friend checking out some dresses. You look around the boutique. Nara glares at you, picking up some dresses that would suit you.

“Are you seriously just gonna wear your old outdated clothes?”

“What’s wrong with jeans and shirt? It’s versatile. I got blazer though, and decent clothes like blouses...” You frown.

“Hell no! you will wear these!” Nara shoves you some casual dresses. You widen your eyes but Nara pushes you to the dressing room.

“Try it on. You are a woman. You should at least own one or two dresses like this. Come on, Reen.” You sigh, closing the dressing room’s door. You check the dresses Nara gave.

“You know… I think I would like to try out Demi Lovato’s fashion style. I mean, she’s cool.” You said as you change to one of the dress.

“Why you didn’t say so?! Wait! I think that would suit you.” Nara rushes out to grab some more clothes. You open the door slightly to stop Nara.

“I don’t need more- yeah she already out.” You sigh, closing the door and look at the mirror. This is so weird. It’s not that you never wear this kind of clothes, you wear it once in a blue moon. You twirl around, checking yourself in the dress.

“I look… Old?” You take a few photos to show to Nara before changing into more dresses. After God knows how long you both in the boutique, you end up buying more than one piece. Luckily, Nara has member’s discount and a regular there so you got yourself a great deal. Nara also bought you some makeup items for the date.

“You must wear these for the date. I need a prove later.” Nara literally skipping, imagining her best friend finally getting all feminine and in a relationship. You could swear that Nara is floating instead of skipping.

“I'm worried about Daehyun. He will be interrogating me if he found out I’m dressing up all of sudden.” You look at paper bags you are holding. The anxiety finally wrapping you up. What if Daehyun knows and getting mad about you and Himchan going out behind his back. What if Himchan not really serious about it and you are the ones that actually hype up buying these clothes?

“Hey, don’t worry about it. Trust Himchan. He will plan it carefully that Daehyun won’t know about it. Besides, the Music Department has longer test week than our and Himchan is a senior which…” Nara hanging her words to let you finish it.

“Which… He got more power?” You finish it hesitantly, knowing it’s not what she meant. Nara facepalms herself.

“Which he doesn’t has more tests than Daehyun! Means, you guys might go out while Daehyun on his test.” She sips her drink while raising her brows as if she just put together a puzzle. You and Nara then part away after dinner.

It is the day. You are a bit earlier than the meetup time thus you wait in the café nearby. Sipping the iced americano, you try to ease your nervousness. You dress up, get your hair done and put on makeup. Which you never did it in your entire life.  Fortunately, Daehyun told you to not wake him up as he wants to sleep in the entire day. What a luck. You send Himchan a text to meet up at the café. You put your phone and start fidgeting your fingers.

“Did I overdo it?” You check your makeup again for the tenth time, unconsciously fixing your hair and dress. You couldn’t recognize this feeling anymore, everything mixing up. It is a fight or flight moment? You are getting anxious as time pass by, nearing the time for Himchan to arrive.

“What if I overdo it? What if I’m the one look desperate? What if he doesn’t like how I look today? Did I put on too much makeup? How to breathe? Wait? Am I breathing?” All the thoughts gushing and running through your mind merciless as you sip your drink faster. The moment you decide to bail out the date, you heard someone calling you from behind.

“Reen?” You froze. Fight or flight? Your mind running so fast to search for the solution.

“Jung Reen?” Himchan walks to your front when you didn’t response to his calls. Oh Holy Americano, she’s frozen and pale.

“Are you okay? Should we just make it another time?” Himchan asks concern. You mind eventually return to you. Realizing your situation.

“Ah! I’m sorry. Lost in my thoughts.” You laugh awkwardly, try to shrug off your anxiety. Himchan looks at you worriedly.

“You sure? You are pale.” Himchan holds your hand. You flinch. You both look into each other. You can see how worries Himchan is right now. Suddenly, you feel bad. Himchan already plans out this day, you don’t want to let him down.

“I’m fine… Sorry to make you worry. I got overly nervous about this date.” You smile. Himchan smiles back. He let you take some moments to calm down. He even bought you a small pie to ease your anxiety.

“Thank you, Himchan.” You eat the pie slowly, the flavor making you stand on the ground again, reminding you are fine. Himchan watches you finishing up the pie. He learns some tips to help someone in anxiety as Nara urges him to. He did not expect it would be you.

“Are you okay now?” You nod in response. You feeling grateful Himchan helping you sorting out this sudden attack.

“So, shall we?” Himchan gets up, holding out his hand to you. You look at him, smiling brightly. Is he an angel? Most people will run away but he stays. You smile, taking his hand into yours. Both of you start your date.

A/N: Kinda rush? Tell me below, please. Yes, recently I learn some things to help me whenever I got suicidal thoughts and anxiety attack. Your mind will have a lot of voices that making you overwhelmed making you have a fight or flight mode. Usually, I end with flight hahaha but I will try to overcome this. My psychologist told me to try to keep myself on the ground with searching back my 5 senses. I hope it will work out soon. :)