He sits idly in the park in front of Seungyoon’s apartment. He can’t think of anywhere else he wants to go. And the only place he wants to be at right now, doesn’t welcome him anymore. “

He just sits still on the bench, only his mind wandering around and replaying the commotion earlier in his head. He falls deeper into his own thoughts, thoughts that torture him.

He never imagines there would come a day like this. A day where he would feel this miserable because of Seungyoon. Although it’s not his friend’s fault that he feels this way but still Seungyoon is always like his safety hideout whenever he has trouble with anything. Not the other way around. So he doesn’t know how to take in this situation (that ended up with him running away) yet

He feels suffocated and lost.

His phone screen lights up. He glances at it and sees the caller ID marked as “Kkang Pae” (Gangster.) Instinctively, a smile blooms on his face as he sees the nick name he set for his best friend. He picks it up hesitantly cos he knows Seungyoon would not stop calling till he answers.

He’s only at “Hel..” when the voice on the line cuts him off_

“Mino where are you? Let’s meet up. I’ll come to you. Or you can come to my room. He went home.”

Mino doesn’t know how to face his friend. So he lies_

“Ahh.. I’m.. I’m on my way home. Yeah.. Going back home. So let’s meet next time?”

Seungyoon snorts at that_

“Idiot! I can hear kids’ shouting in the background. You are in the park right? Wait right there. I’ll come down.”

With that, Seungyoon hangs up the phone. Mino should be surprised at Seungyoon’s accurate deduction but not really. He’s kind of used to it now. How his friend can always read him like the back of his hand.

“Catch!”

As he looks up, Seungyoon tosses a Yakult bottle at him. Yakult is like Seungyoon’s soul food. Mino catches it and as he stabs the plastic cap with the straw attached, Seungyoon sits next to him.

And with that mere presence by his side, he feels home again.

“So.. Earlier..”

Seungyoon pauses as if contemplating what to say. Mino looks down at the ground and murmurs_

“I’m sorry.”

Now it’s Seungyoon’s turn to be surprised.

“What are you sorry for? I should be the one apologizing Mino. I am really sorry.”

Mino shakes his head quickly.

“I shouldn’t have come to you unannounced like that.”

As he speaks his apologies, his sadness starts morphing into anger. He feels overwhelmed by his emotions. His voice raises an octave higher.

“But don’t you think you should at least give me a heads-up? So that I could avoid making a fool out of myself like that.”

“Mino ya, I’m so so sorry. I swear I meant to tell you that I have a boyfriend now. But how could I talk about my love life when you’re still so heartbroken? That’s why I haven’t. I know I’m a bad friend. I’m sorry. Here..”

Seungyoon pulls out a piece of paper from his shirt pocket. On it was a combination of numbers scrambled clumsily.  

“I.. ah.. I accidentally told him that you have the passcode to my door and he didn’t like the idea of another guy slipping in and out of my room freely. He asked me to change it and I did. But don’t worry. I already called the company to change it back. They said it would take time. So, for the time being, we have to use the new one. I wrote it down here.”

He hands him a small post-it.

Mino glances at the sheet. All he can think of is that another guy making him changes the door passcode so that Mino cannot enter.

And Seungyoon fxxking obliged it.

Mino feels a surge of anger building up and rising in him at the thought. He explodes_

“Kang Seungyoon, I didn’t know you were this hungry for a ! You are ready to kick me out because your pretty boyfriend said he didn’t like it? You disappoint me big time.”

Seungyoon clicks his tongue.

“Language Mino! I know you are mad because I did what I shouldn’t. That’s why I’m apologizing now, ain’t I? What more should I do? Break up with him?

Mino glares at him and speaks_

“I don’t know and I don’t fxxking care!”

His friend shakes his head furiously_

“You care. You fxxking care! That’s why you are like this. But it’s not me that you care. You only care about yourself. You are just a selfish bastard who doesn’t care about other people. You never care about my feelings. Never!”

Seungyoon’s eyes start b with tears as he fights back at Mino.

He rubs his eyes with the heel of his hands roughly as if physically stopping himself from crying.

“All these years of being friend with you, I’m the one who put up with your messy love stories. I’m the one who gets ditched and chosen over your hook ups and whatever. I’m just a go-to option when you’re out of choice. But I never once complained or blamed you.”

Mino’s heart softens at the sight of Seungyoon’s tears. He wants to deny that Seungyoon is wrong and that he never thinks of him that way. But words stuck in his throat and nothing comes out.

 Seungyoon continues_

“Of all people, you should know why! You should know why I couldn’t date easily with what happened back then. I finally met someone after so long and I just wanted it to work. I just and so I tried...”

Seungyoon cannot finish his sentence and starts crying helplessly. Mino has never seen his friend cries before. Not even when he was bullied in school. Mino is the one always doing that part and Seungyoon has always been the stronger of the two.

Mino’s heart breaks at the sight. If his heart is made of glass, the broken glass shatters must be stabbing and pricking inside his chest now.

It’s excruciating.

Without much thought, he pulls him into a hug and Seungyoon leans into him without protest. His body trembles as he weeps quietly.

“Don’t cry! Please don’t cry Seungyoon. I’m sorry. I’m never gonna do it again. I’m really sorry!”

Seungyoon looks up at him and questions_

“Never do what?”

“Just anything. Anything that would make you cry. I promise.”

Mino looks at his friend whose eyes are still glistening with tears. His nose tip red and his lips slightly quivering as he tries to control his sobs. Even when he is crying his heart out like that, his friend still looks breathtaking. Mino wonders why he didn’t recognize this before.

“Promise?” Seungyoon asked him with a little pout on his lips.

Mino chuckles at the cuteness and he doesn’t know what possesses him. On a whim, he leans down and kisses him, square on those pouty lips. After initial shock, Seungyoon kisses him back. It feels so wrong yet so right at the same time for reasons he can’t explain.

They pull apart when they run out of breath. Mino presses his forehead to Seungyoon’s. The latter has his eyes closed. He’s so beautiful like that.

And words just stumble out of his mouth before he can control_

“I think I like you Seungyoon.”

As if he’s been waken up from hypnosis, Seungyoon’s eyes flutter open. He pushes his chest and breaks free from his hug.

He stutters_

“No! No, you don’t like me. Please don’t do this to me.”

He runs away from him without looking back.

And like a deep rooted tree, Mino just stands there staring at the back of his best friend, not remembering to move.

He feels numb and dazed.