“Seul… Are you ?”

“Mmm, too hot for clothes, Joohyun-ah.” Seulgi mumbled, snuggling closer. Her warm hands slipped under Irene’s tank top and rested comfortably palming her chest, making the older girl laugh quietly.

Seulgi’s favorite sleeping position.

“Joohyun?”

She was surprised she was still awake. “Yes baby?”

“Are you sleeping?”

A light chuckle. “Would I be talking to you if I was?”

“Oh.” A pause. “I’m glad you came out with me tonight. I hope you had fun.”

“I did but only because you were there. I always have fun with my little bear cub.”

At the sound of her nickname, Seulgi shyly grinned into her girlfriend’s long hair. For the most part, they weren’t too shy about PDA amongst friends and using affectionate names like ‘babe’ and ‘baby’, but ‘little bear cub’ was reserved just for Seulgi’s ears only when they were alone. Just hearing it come from Irene’s mouth was enough to send pleasant shivers down Seulgi’s spine.

“I always have fun with you too, Joohyun. I… I wish we had more time to be together.”

The drop in her voice made Irene’s heart freeze. Drunk Seulgi was also emotional Seulgi but it usually didn’t go further than drunk texting her friends how much she loved them or crying over something silly.

(There was one time where they were returning from noraebang and Seulgi accidentally fell into a flower garden outside their dorm and the girl spent the rest of the night in tears over sending flowers prematurely to heaven.

Irene would’ve been annoyed to be consoling her all night if it wasn’t for the fact she found it all incredibly endearing.)

But the sad color in her girlfriend’s voice worried her. Was Seulgi unhappy?

“Baby,” She whimpered, pulling the younger girl in closer. She felt Seulgi bury her face into her neck and Irene began to panic when she felt wetness against her neck. “Baby, are you crying?” She tried to pull her out to look at her face, but Seulgi only whined loudly, struggling to stay in the same spot.

Seulgi never let Irene see her cry. Despite all the sad airport goodbyes and even the frustrating nights when being trainees got the best of them, Seulgi always made sure to muster a big smile even though they both knew she was just as somber.

“It’s...hard.” Seulgi croaked out, voice thick with tears. “I miss you so much sometimes and it’s not fair that there’s couples out there who don’t even like each other and they get to see each other every day and I love you and I only see you a handful of times a year.” She said quickly, all in one breath.

Irene’s hold tightened. This wasn’t the first time they talked about the difficulties of their relationship but this was the first time she’d ever seen Seulgi show so much emotion over it. Her biggest fear was that one day Seulgi was going to wake up and decide this was too much work for her and she wasn’t worth it anymore.

And Seulgi’s small confession just made her fear grow twice as big.

“Is this… is this getting to be too much for you?” Irene asked quietly.

“No.” Came the surprisingly steady reply. “You are worth all of it. It’s just hard sometimes.” Seulgi took a ragged deep breath before pulling her head out to face her. They stared at each other, features only illuminated from the moonlight.

The idol cupped Seulgi’s cheek, brushing away the leftover tears with her thumb. “I know how you feel, Seulgi-ah. I feel the exact same way. There are days that are so long and hard that all I want to do is come home to you. Just one hug and it’ll make everything better.”

Seulgi’s chin crumpled in an apologetic pout. “I’m sorry I can’t be there