Myungsoo's POV

I want to sleep!!!

I am so sleepy. Yesterday, the director of the drama I was in, ended filming early that's why I was really happy that I able to watch Hyena's performance with Sungkyu hyung and Dongwoo hyung for Immortal Songs. I know it is a very important performance for Hyena for it is the first stage that she will be doing as an official trainee under Woollim. Well before that day, I really worked hard so that the director would allow me to leave the filming site earlier than the usual. Of course, I didn't tell them the real reason behind it. I just told them that I have an urgent group schedule later that day. Luckily, they didn't ask Hyoan hyung about it.

Well, I hope that they won't do that! Or else, I will be doomed. Sungkyu hyung will surely scold me non-stop for a week.

Today, I have to go back to filming. I haven't slept at all last night. I was so pissed off at myself for acting like a jerk towards Hyena. I guess jealousy really took its' toll on me. I wanted to apologize to her so badly, but unfortunately she was already sleeping when I went to her room last night.

I wanted to do something for her before she wakes up, but it seems like someone was against my plans because she was already gone this morning. Since that was the case, I decided to go back to my best friends' room and just sleep beside Sungyeol. I was too tired to go back to my own room. I think I was just sleeping for 45 minutes when my ever dependable choding best friend decided to wake me up.

Aishhhh! This hyung!

I needed my sleep because as you know it is sacred to me. Well next to food, sleep is one of the most important things for me. Also, I need to go back to filming this afternoon and it will probably be finished until early morning tomorrow, but I am keeping my fingers crossed and hope that it won't be like that.

Never mind!

With Sungyeol bothering me, I won't be able to sleep anyway. I decided to do my morning routine and go with them to the dining room. When we get there, we were so shocked to see what Hyena did for us. I was so touched with the handwritten letters that she made. I am so excited to read mine.

I immediately hid my letter in my shirt pocket because I know that Sungyeol would probably steal it and try to hide it somewhere where it will be hidden forever. My best friend really love playing pranks. 

We all had our breakfast and after that decided to do what was needed. Some of us have some schedule today, but the others decided to just rest. I watched Sungjong do the dishes. I volunteered to help him and so as Sungyeol, but he declined our offer. He told us to just go to our room to rest.

I looked at my best friend and I saw him walk his way to his room. I guess he will just rest because lately I noticed that his back has been bothering him. He isn't telling us about it, but since I know him too well, I know that he is in pain. Probably he just don't want to bother or worry anyone. How I wish I could do something for him. Maybe I will bring him his favorite food later. Well, not just for him, but for everybody as well. It's been quite a while since I bought something for them and I just hope that I finish filming early today.

I went to my room to prepare. After 30 minutes, I got my bag and went out of my room. I saw Sungkyu hyung in the living room. I remembered that he also has a schedule today. "Hyung, I'll go now. Would you like me to drop you off somewhere?" I asked him.

He looked at me and nodded. "Are you sure it's okay, Myung? I can just asked Hyoan hyung to drive me there. I am not really in the mood to drive today."

"It's okay, hyung. Today's filming location is quite near Weekly Idol's building. Also, it will save us time and knowing Hyoan hyung, he probably needs to do other things because he knows that some of us will be having our day off today." I told him.

We went to the building's basement and get to my car. All of us do have our own cars now. Well, except for Sungjong who is not yet allowed to drive. While driving, we talked about so many things including Hyena. He asked me so many things and knowing him, I know that he was just trying to fish some information. About what? That I am not really sure about it or why is he even doing it? I have lived with him even before our debut days, so I already know hyung's mannerisms.

I am not yet ready to tell anyone including him about my feelings for Hyena. Don't get me wrong. I trust Gyu hyung with a lot of things, even Sungyeol, but I think this is not the right time yet. We continued talking, until we finally arrived at his location.

"Thank you for dropping me off, Myung-ah." he said.

I smiled at him and salute at him. "It's okay, hyung. Just take care of yourself, okay? Also, please say hello to Defconn hyung for me."

"I will." he said. I was about to leave when I got startled because he went near me.

"Myung, I am very happy that you finally returned to your old self. Thank you for bringing back our Myungsoo. Please just leave cold L on stage, though I prefer to see the cute and cuddly Myungsoo on stage as well." he laughed and hugged me. "I really miss my lovable dongsaeng, Myungsoo."

I smiled at him as he released me. "No, thank you hyung for being so patient with me. I know I had been a headache to everyone, especially to you, our leader. I owe everything to you and the others." I told him.

He hugged me again and slapped my back. "Go ahead. You might get late. The director might scold you for it."

"It's okay. I will just tell them to scold you instead." I laughed at him. "Bye, hyung!" I shouted as I started the car's engine.

I drove for about 30 minutes and I noticed that I arrived earlier than expected at the location shoot. I immediately went to the director and bowed at him and everyone. The director smiled at me and told me to get ready because we will start filming in an hour. I bowed at him again and went to the trailer truck. The stylist gave me some clothes and told me to change right away. She waited for me to finish and after that, she did my make-up and styled my hair. It just took her 15 minutes to finish.

Well, what can I say. I am handsome already, so no need for too much make-up.

After she's done, she bowed and said goodbye. I thanked her and bowed at her as well.

Since it was still early, I decided to go back to my car. I was supposed to take a nap, when I remembered the letter that Hyena gave me. I took it out of my bag and read it.

Hyena is really sweet. I couldn't help but smile after I read her letter. Honestly, I haven't realized that I finally had my smile back. I guess what happened to me was too painful that I decided to just bury it inside me. I suffered a lot because of a rumor and until now I blame myself because I know it somewhat tarnished INFINITE's image. As you know years ago, I had a girl best friend and her name is Kim Doyeon. 

Well, I am very close to her and because of that, eventually our friendship turned into a sweet one as we fell in love with each other and decided to take our relationship to another level. At first, everything went smoothly. I must say that I really fell in love with her and I did everything that makes her happy. I always find ways to meet her despite the busy schedule INFINITE has. We dated secretly and we were so happy with each other. Well, I guess it was just me who is contented with what we have because our relationship didn't last that long. She began to be more demanding of my time. She couldn't understand why we can't see each other often and why do we have to keep our relationship a secret.

I actually explained to her the situation, but she didn't want to listen. She wanted to reveal our relationship. I love INFINITE so much and I don't want to hurt my brothers. They worked so hard to reach what we have and I don't want to ruin things for them. She couldn't understand where I am getting from. She said that many people would not object to what we have for she is not an ordinary girl. As you know, Doyeon is quite popular as well in South Korea. As a matter of fact she is an ulzzang, and also she was a CEO of an Internet shopping mall. She was known as Chocolate Girl.

Our sweet relationship turned into a sour one. We often fight with each other until the day when she got so fed up and asked me to choose between my brothers and her. Me and INFINITE had been through a lot and I won't let anything harm them. Without even answering her, she told me that she understood my decision and she will definitely leave me alone forever. I know that I am a coward for not choosing her, but what can I do I love my brothers more than her. Though it hurts, I accepted her decision and went on with my life.

Well, I thought that was the end of it. Little did I know that she got so hurt that she wanted to get revenge and even plotted a scheme to hurt me and my brothers. Since she is popular and has many followers, she dropped different hints about our relationship on her SNS accounts. She even conspired with her friends about it, and because of that many INSPIRITS as well as the media were able to be suspicious of my true relationship with her.

What she did created a great mess. I couldn't go out of our dorm. Many of my projects as well as some group projects were all halted because of that messy dating scandal. Jungyeop hyung even got angry at me for keeping it a secret from him. He said that he doesn't stop us from having a relationship as long as we let him know about it. Even Sungkyu hyung was so disappointed at me that time. With everything that happened, I got so depressed because I couldn't go anywhere. There were many media who kept following each and every move I make.

It was indeed a big scandal. A lot of INSPIRITS got angry, not just at her, but to me as well. They even asked me to leave INFINITE. I didn't expect for them to say that and because of this, I got depressed. I withdrew myself from the world, my group and even my best friend, Sungyeol. I didn't want to go out. I just stayed in my room. I locked myself up for days. I stopped surfing the Internet and I closed all my social media accounts because there were so many articles about our relationship.

The management asked me to lay low for a while and take the scandal as a time to recuperate, but it only brought the worse in me. I was really hurt because of everything that happened. I even thought of quitting the group because it already affected everyone including Jungyeop hyung. Sungyeol got so worried about me for I got hospitalized for my health was affected. Actually, it was him who made me realize that I need to stand up from this controversy. I am really thankful to him, to Sungkyu hyung and the others, for without them, I wouldn't get over of my depression. Without all my brothers' help, I think INFINITE will be known now as a 6-member group.

We took a month off from the limelight and eventually during that span of time, all the news died down. After that, we went back to work and pretended nothing happened. Luckily, there were still many INSPIRITS who are there to support us. They still supported us despite of everything that happened.

The incident made me loose Myungsoo, a childish kid who loves to laugh and who will always be a goofball to his friends. I decided to shut my heart and concentrated on my career. I became workaholic that Sungyeol always worries about me. I spent all my time inside the Practice Room. I even told Jungyeop hyung to accept all the drama, movie and CF offers they got for me. I worked 24/7 without resting. I made sure that I locked Myungsoo inside and I let L overtake my whole personality. I wore a mask, not just on stage, but even when I am with my brothers.

I really regret doing that because I made everyone worry about me. Sungyeol and I even fought that we started hurting each other physically. I really hated the look on Sungkyu's face when that happened. He was so pissed off when he saw Woohyun hyung and Hoya hyung stopping us from fighting. When he talked to me, he said that he was not disappointed at me, but instead he was so disappointed at himself because he wasn't able to do