Taeyeon stood with her back up against the frame of the doorway, waiting for Tiffany to return. The three drinks she’d had throughout the night were working their way through her, making her feel warm and content. Though none of them had appealed to her in terms of flavor, their effects were enough to make up for that. She figured that she’d never be a true social butterfly, but the idea of standing at the center of a group of strangers didn’t immediately make her cringe anymore. In fact, there was something surreally enjoyable about it. Watching the flow of the crowd, the interactions everyone had with one another - good and bad, friendly and confrontational - was extremely interesting.

    Being a fly on the wall at a party was pretty fun.

    “Hey, Taeyeon!” someone called from behind, making her turn, “Come here.”

    It was Yoona. She was standing with two taller, older looking guys in collared shirts. Yoona waved fervently at Taeyeon, beckoning her to come over.

    Taeyeon looked over at her best friend, saw that she was still waiting for drinks at the bar, and couldn’t decide what to do. Yoona called out again, louder this time, and Taeyeon’s face began to feel warm. She could already feel people starting to stare. With a quick glance back to make sure Tiffany was still waiting, Taeyeon made her way into the living room.

    It was a disjointed path filled with accidental elbow bumps and awkward touches, punctuated by a repeated chorus of “excuse me’s” and “sorry’s”. Taeyeon was relieved when she finally managed to crawl her way out of the kitchen, only for Yoona to intercept her.

    “Hey,” the ponytailed girl said, leaning close to Taeyeon and grabbing her arm just a bit too tightly, “So, that guy over there thinks you’re cute. His name is Kris.”

    Taeyeon followed Yoona’s gaze. The boy she pointed out was strong-jawed, broad shouldered, and practically towering in height. He and his friend - who was almost equally as tall - were engaged in a fervent conversation that reminded Taeyeon of the way Yoona and Seohyun had been talking earlier. Exaggerated gestures, frequent, twitchy movements, and eyes that darted around with way too much energy. Did everyone here do Adderall or ?

    “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Yoona,” Taeyeon said, directing Yoona so that they both stood near the corner of the room, out of anyone else’s earshot.

    Yoona let out an exaggerated sigh through her nose. “He’s cute, Taeyeon. And he’s a really nice guy, too. Trust me.”

    “I don’t doubt that,” Taeyeon said, looking over at Kris, accidentally making eye contact with him. He smiled, and Taeyeon had to admit that it was a pretty smile, one that made him look much less intimidating. Still, she didn’t have any interest in speaking with him whatsoever. “But I’m not really looking for a boyfriend right now.”

    “I’m sure he isn’t looking for a girlfriend, either,” Yoona said, sounding fed up, as if it was inconceivable that Taeyeon wouldn’t want to meet this Kris. “Listen, there’s not much to it. You just gotta go up there and say hi. He’ll do all the talking. Super easy.”

    Yeah, that’s what I’m afraid of, Taeyeon thought to herself, though outwardly she shook her head and gave an apologetic smile.

    “I need to go back and meet up with Tiffany,” Taeyeon said, jerking a thumb over her shoulder, “She was getting drinks for us.”

    Yoona set her hands on her hips, giving her the appearance of an exasperated mother. “She’ll survive, and I bet she won’t even be mad. She had a crush on Kris Wu last year.”

    Taeyeon felt a jolt of anger at that, felt the smile slide off of her face like melting ice cream dropping to the pavement. “I don’t want to meet him, Yoona.”

    “I’m trying to get you to break out of your shell,” the taller girl insisted, pressing her lips together hard, tapping her foot rapidly against the carpet. “Kris is one of the most handsome guys here. It’s a great opportunity!”

    “I’d rather stay in my shell, then,” Taeyeon snapped, “If it’s such a great opportunity, introduce him to Sunny or Sooyoung. I’m going to find Tiffany and get that drink. Goodbye.”

    With that, Taeyeon marched off, leaving a stunned Yoona behind her. Taeyeon’s frustration continued to grow as she mindlessly worked her way back to the spot Tiffany had told her to wait, weaving through the people around her, trying to douse the smoldering embers of rage that wanted to light in her belly.

What was happening to her? She already regretted the way she’d stormed away from Yoona, but in the moment it had felt totally justified. All the younger girl was trying to do was help Taeyeon become more social. It was, honestly, a nice gesture. Yoona may have been too pushy, but that could be chalked up to her very un-sober state. So why had her actions annoyed Taeyeon so much?

Unfortunately, Taeyeon didn’t have the opportunity to put further thought into that. As she arrived at the bar, she quickly realized that Tiffany was no longer there. Cursing to herself, Taeyeon looked around, head swiveling from side to side, scanning the crowd, but she had no luck.

Frowning, she took out her phone and texted Tiffany.

“Hey, sorry about that, Yoona stole me away. Tried to introduce me to a guy named Kris. I’m back, though. Where’d you go?”

As Taeyeon pressed “send”, something clicked in her mind, and at once she understood the reason behind her anger. The realization brought with it a gush of shame, prickling her cheeks with heat.

Yoona’s insistence hadn’t bothered Taeyeon at all until the younger girl had mentioned Tiffany’s supposed crush on Kris. Though Taeyeon was confident that the rumor was a lie, the mere notion that Tiffany could have had a crush on anyone else was, apparently, infuriating. So much so that it made Taeyeon Kim, described by Tiffany as “one of the least threatening people ever”, lash out.

Then, a text came, breaking Taeyeon from her embarrassing ruminations.

“I’m in the backyard. Behind the bushes”

Taeyeon furrowed her brow. How - and why - did Tiffany end up there?

Supposing that she’d find out soon, Taeyeon made her way to the back door. The smell of dewy grass and crisp air helped to clear her head a bit. She might have paused there for an extra second or two, staring at the fancy pool and intricately decorated balconies of Jin’s house, but a few of the girls nearby were giving her sideways glances. One of them was the model-esque Irene Bae, dolled up in a fetching black dress that fit perfectly with her icy stare.

Unwilling to stand there and be ogled by people who barely knew her, Taeyeon continued on, taking the long way around the pool so that they wouldn’t see exactly where she was headed. This led her through a garden lined with stout palm trees, cut through by a paved path. The garden was filled with the classic California cacti, along with yarrows and blue-eyed grass, but there were exotic flowers there too, with patterns and colorings that Taeyeon had never seen before. No doubt they were exorbitantly expensive, tended to by only the finest of master gardeners. Walking through them made her feel as though she was traveling through some alien landscape, in a world where everyone was on stimulants and high schoolers drank champagne like it was water.

Taeyeon emerged from the garden and shimmied between the bushes, eyes adjusting to the wan light. She squinted, stepping forward slowly, looking around for her friend. Tiffany should've been easy to see; the silhouette of her body against the sky had been obvious the last time they’d come here.

Then, Taeyeon heard someone sniffling. With a jolt, she looked down at the grass. Just at the beginning of the hill’s downslope sat Tiffany, curled into a ball, hair hiding her face as she wept.

“Tiffany?” Taeyeon whispered, crouching down beside her friend, “What’s wrong?”

Tiffany lifted her head, took a deep breath, used a hand to wipe her face. Then she turned, and Taeyeon felt a sickening lurch in her chest. The younger girl was an absolute mess. Smeared mascara trailed forlorn lines from the corners of her bloodshot eyes. Her cheeks were stained by tears, lips set into a pout that could have belonged to a lost kitten, breaths hitching with barely-restrained sobs.

“You saw Jessica, didn’t you?” Taeyeon asked, wrapping her arms around Tiffany’s trembling shoulders. That was the only thing that could have happened to make the younger girl react this way.

Tiffany melted into Taeyeon’s embrace, leaning against the older girl for support. There, pressed against the crest of Taeyeon’s chest, Tiffany gave a tiny, almost imperceptible nod.

“What did she say to you?” Taeyeon whispered, trying to keep herself from hissing the words out. The crimson tide of anger had engulfed her again, and its influence worked through her ruthlessly.

Tiffany’s words were muffled against Taeyeon’s body, half-lost in the cloth of her shirt, but just audible enough to make out. “Nothing that wasn’t true.”

“What do you mean?” Taeyeon asked, confused.

Tiffany sat up straight, supporting her own weight. She turned away from Taeyeon, faced the San Bernardino Mountains. She had apparently given up on trying to wipe away the remainder of her tears, leaving them to dry in the cool desert breeze.