Look who is back!!!!!!

I AM HERE, MISSING BOTH BAEKHYUN’S BIRTHDAY AND MINSEOK’S ENLISTMENT, SO NOW I’LL JUST DROWN MYSELF AND DIE :)

But! Here’s a chapter about Minseok to lift your sad and weary hearts :(

Okay, so maybe Mina was frozen, a little bit over frozen, actually. She was inwardly chanting execution plans with weird mumbo-jumbo of words she knew were complete and utter bull. However, that was the sanest thing she could think of doing when Minseok’s lips were pressed on hers. Not next to them, or above them, but on them.

She wasn’t aware of her eyes. Were they closed? Were they opened? She couldn’t see anything really, aside darkness — of her withering soul maybe — but she imagined Minseok’s eyes shut closed. So what could she do with her eyes? Were they opened or closed? And what’s up with her heart? Why was it beating so much? Why did it feel so suffocating of her to breathe all of a sudden? Oh, right, because Minseok’s lips were pressing on her airways. 

Oh God, Minseok’s lips were pressing on her airways! On her lips! Minseok was kissing her! Minseok was freaking pressing his lips on hers! Minseok was—

Her momentary blazed emotions came to a halt by the growing distance Minseok was pulling away between their lips. Oh, he stopped kissing her. He withdrew his lips away, eyes half way closed and half way opened. So probably that was how her eyes were too. Oh God, her brain cells were deteriorating! She could feel them turning into a pile of mushy, bluish goo! She was overthinking, she was going insane, she was doing the formidable act of losing her sense of balance, all because Minseok was kissing! Or had kissed her!

Wodkkwpwpsdowplmznxjdowpqpqlq.

Mina’s body was rigid stiff, like a block of ice, sweating dozens because of the surrounding heat; but still a block of ice. Her eyes were looking straight ahead, probably at nothing, and Minseok’s own eyes began to widen in alarm, especially when he saw a drop of sweat trickling down the side of her hairline.

“Oh , Mina. I stopped because you weren’t responding but now I notice you’re really rigid, and sweaty. Am I that hot?”

Minseok’s tone, despite his massive worry, held an undertone of jest, even if his eyes were super wide, his body himself as stiff as another block of ice, his wiggling fingers — which he hadn’t known where to put before when he had been kissing her — were drawn towards one another on his lap. He looked just as messy as she, as their wavering, pulsing feelings were.

“Don’t answer that,” Minseok murmured, eyeing her weirdly. She still didn’t look at him, and her lips were as pale as a ghost, or her but sick. Another trickle of sweat fell down, this time from her forehead, and paused over her cheek. Minseok let out a sigh, wiping it off quickly with the hem of his shirt. That gesture made her sweat more, even if it seemed like she wasn’t conscious of him. “, why are you sweating so much? I wasn’t close to you for so long.”

“Minseok,” Minseok heard a small, breathless whisper from her, and he actually had to lean his ear over to hear her properly. She stared straight ahead, non-blinking. “I don’t think this is because of you.”

“What?” Minseok pulled his head away from her face quizzically. “How?”

“I mean, it is because of you,” Mina continued to murmur, sounding unsure and a bit embarrassed, her cheeks burning. Another drop of sweat dripped down her cheek. Minseok wiped that away too. “But not because of your massive heat.”

Minseok’s head spun at her words, and he found himself crawling closer to her with childlike eagerness, the dim lighting of his dark room shedding a small part of color over his honey eyes, and Mina caught a tender spark of gold there. The gold was gone as soon as possible when Mina finally, guided her eyes off of the wall she was penetrating to stare at the older boy ahead of her.

Was she imagining the golden gleam?

“... is this because I kissed you?” Minseok murmured, discreetly.

“Yes,” Mina whispered back, just as discreet. “I don’t know how to respond.”

Well, Minseok considered such an answer, or words, with his blatant kiss, the suddenness of it; it’d obviously shock her and make her nervous. There were too much emotions in such action, too much wilderness, too much rawness of one’s soul, of course it’d make her anxiousness hit the rooftop of her own emotions. Minseok really put such reaction in mind, but it still didn’t prepare him for whatever he should say in return, so he gaped like an absolute idiot.

“I’m burning with nerves. Oh my God, Minseok, what am I supposed to respond with?” Mina wailed, all of a sudden, throwing her arms around, and Minseok flinched, thinking he’d get his whipped. “No, wait, don’t answer that. I’m clearly just overwhelmed by the fact you actually placed your damn lips on min— Minseok, you put your lips on mine! Oh my God! Minseok—“

“Okay, woah, you’re panicking,” Minseok took her flailing arms in one of his hands, pressing her wrists together in just one hold. Mina blinked at the atrocity, while Minseok shook his other free hand right on her face to calm her down. “I’ve never seen you panic like this before, that’s a pretty new psychotic side of you—“

“Minseok,” Mina growled, shutting the joking attempt of Minseok right away. “This is serious.”

“, you’re right,” Minseok blurted, yanking on his pretty delicate hair forcefully, a non-too-Minseok-y look of panic painting his face. Mina didn’t know if she should laugh or cry. “I just kissed you.”

“You did.” She nodded, in determination to be calming to him or in an attempt to soothe her own panic, she didn’t know. She just didn’t feel like sugarcoating this mess or she’d end up in another catastrophe like the one she and Jongdae had when he kissed her too.

“Well,” Minseok breathed deeply from his nose, softening his panicked facial features. Mina watched him. “What am I supposed to say now?”

“Minseok, are you serious?” Mina blinked her eyes. “You kissed me but you’re not prepared to the outcome? You don’t know what to say?”

“I gotta admit,” Minseok sheepishly laughed, or tried to. The sound that came out of his mouth resembled a bird’s squeak. “I kissed you pretty much by instinct. There was nothing of sanity in my head when I did so, and there’s still none of that now.”

“You’re a freaking idiot, do you know that?” Mina groaned, dropping herself backward on her back on the couch the two of them were occupying. The couch released a squeal at the sudden weight, but Mina didn’t pay it attention, her focus solely on Minseok, whom she could feel his heat still across; until he decided to stand up and go somewhere. She quickly sat back up, blinking at him, and found him nestling himself down his fluffy bed, patting the place next to him, pulling out a serious face.

“Come here, let me tell you something.” 

She did as she was told and he allowed her to lie down on the bed instead of sitting down like he was doing, taking the pillow behind him and placing it under her head. Seeing her growing relaxed so quickly, he decided doing the same, and laid down next to her, placing his head on his propped hand instead of lying down completely beside her, which made him hover over her; taking up a small space between them so he won’t end up suffocating her with his immense heat.

“Well, I won’t say I didn’t know entirely what I was doing when I kissed you, because that’s a lie.” Minseok began, looking at her stomach, at his oversized shirt which she burrowed, instead of looking at her wide, inviting eyes. He felt a pile growing up in his throat, and he quickly gulped it down.

“Ah-huh, I’m listening.”

“It’s embarrassing to say, ,” Minseok all but face-palmed himself, and Mina had a deep urge to snort, having never seen Minseok so.. messy, but she held herself, knowing this was serious. “I’ve wanted to tell you for so long but now I’m just shy.”

“You? Shy?” She gave him a deadpanned, unamused look. “Give me a break, that’s not a Minseok thing to feel at all, especially not around me.”

Minseok rolled his eyes in irritation, grumbling under his breath. “Believe me, you bring emotions out of me I never thought they’re right to feel for you until only recently, when suddenly you and Jongdae are forced to bond or whatever.”

“Minseok, I think I know where this is going..” she sat up quickly, as if she wanted to force him to pause, but Minseok seemed to predict such actions from a wild and barbaric Mina, as he readied his palm up to place it on her face, pushing her back to lie down on the bed before she could spring up at him again. She fell down with a loud Oof, her hair flying down around her and under her back.

“Shut up, don’t ruin it. Let me say it myself, while I still have courage.”

“Okay..” she murmured, fiddling with her fingers and avoiding his eyes, suddenly feeling a massive surge of all different feelings under her belly, such strong emotions that she felt she was going to eject out of . She stayed still, once again growing rigid, and kept shut, knowing that serious and confident Minseok was back to overtake the conversation.

“So, um, what was I saying?” Minseok stuttered, scratching his left cheek.

Okay, so maybe confident and serious Minseok wasn’t really back, maybe it was all a pretense so she won’t get consumed by worries she didn’t need at the moment when he wanted to say something so.. extraordinary.

“You still didn’t say anything.” Mina pointed out, easing into her place and finally forcing her eyes off of whatever speck of dust she was watching on her wrist to give Minseok an eye-contact.

“Right, so, I’m just gonna blurt it all out—“ Minseok took strength from her eye-contact, and his eyes began to shimmer. Mina’s breath came out in ugly spurts. Was his eyes going to glow? “—without any sappy stories or affectionate emotions. I’m just gonna say it, brace yourself.”

“The shield of Mina’s body and soul has been activated!” She exclaimed to ease the tension, and he smiled, cheeks narrower than usual and joy in his eyes at the sheer excitement yet drizzling curiosity, along with fear of the unknown, in her eyes of coffee shade brown.

“Oh, , I can’t say it!” Minseok chickened out, dropping down on the bed on his back fully, placing his fingers over his eyes and hoping he could gouge them out, God Damn it!

“Minseok!” She whined, smacking his rock hard chest repeatedly. “You already kissed me, I think you’re way past the embarrassment. If you don’t say anything, that’d be an assholy thing to do.”

“Promise you won’t be mad at me.” He seized her hands which were hitting his chest in one hand, again, wrapping his fingers securely around her wrists. She stopped fighting him with a huff, which ruffled some her hair. 

“I won’t be mad at you, Minseok, I don’t think I can.”

“, okay, okay, I’ll do it.” Minseok murmured, releasing her hands and once again falling down on his back on the bed, looking at the ceiling with wonderment and poorly imitated courage. Mina knew him like the back of her hand, and knew he’d back out once again if he continued to do the same thing over and over again. She smacked his chest again, earning a grumbled groan from him, and hissed. 

“You’ve been repeating that for the last ten minutes. Just say it already!”

“Fine, fine!” He exclaimed, turning to shoot her a dirty look before looking at the ceiling again. “Okay! Geez, I.. well, I.. I like you.”

Mina kinda guessed that already, so it wasn’t much of a surprise hearing the three magical words from Minseok, but something still buzzed in her warm belly, something akin to magic, the same kind that took Minseok to say the three words in the first place. Her cheeks were flooded with heat, and as she stared at Minseok, with all his large glory, his athletic body, and his massively expressive yet discreet honey brown eyes; she felt like she was getting herself swallowed down a Minseok-pit, a pit with no exit. She too, guided her eyes to the ceiling, waiting for more, but the silence from his part was taking long, too long in fact, and she snapped her head toward him, narrowing her eyes.

“That’s it? You’re just going to say that and pout away like a hurt chipmunk?”

He wasn’t really pouting, since that gesture was too childish for someone like Minseok, but he did look like he was dying, from nerves, that is, and he was wholeheartedly glaring at the roof of his room like it personally offended him with its existence. 

“I really don’t feel like I can say it,” Minseok grumbled with a lowered voice, still glaring. “Especially when I know where things are heading.”

“You think you know how I’ll react?” Mina murmured in astonishment, eyes wide and blinking. Minseok merely snorted in response, brushing up a hand through his hair. 

“I have a clue.”

“Minseok,” Mina sighed, low and deep from her nose, actually closing her eyes to collect her scattered thoughts. “You already placed your lips on mine and already said the three master words for me to know what you’re insinuating. Do you think a proper explanation would hurt?”

“How about you just ask me questions and I answer?” Minseok quickly got over his previous position on the bed, now placing his elbow on the bed and resting his cheek on his palm, facing her with an excited, fake smile on. Mina gave him a flat look. “Things are very messy in my head right now, and I’m still pretty much hung up by the feeling of your lips on mine. The only thing I’m really balanced and sane enough to do is kiss you again.”

“Minseok..” Mina let out a small, almost shy whine, closing her eyes and punching the air in front of her. Minseok sighed, understanding where her miserably shy persona was stemming from (he admitted, she was darn cute when acting so shy, more feminine, and he had an intense emotion of placing his lips on hers again) and found himself whining back, his whine coming out a lot more restrained than hers.

“Mina, ask me something, please.”

“Okay, okay.” She huffed, pulling her hands away from her eyes with a glower. He was avoiding her eyes, again, and she snapped. “Will you stop avoiding my eyes!”

“We’ll stare together at the ceiling and.. talk.” Minseok murmured, ignoring her, and lying back on his back again. He wasn’t precisely rejecting her request to stop avoiding her eyes so blatantly, but he wasn’t trying to stop doing that either. He shrugged her request off like he didn’t know what she was talking about and crawled down on the bed to lie his head on one of his billows, eyes settled with great focus on the roof of his room. She rolled her eyes with a sigh, mentally counting the seconds of how much time it’d take her to begin her journey of massive sweating due to his heat.

“So, ask me questions.” He repeated, scratching his cheek again, and avoiding her narrowed eyes, again. 

“When did you... like me?” It felt really strange to ask the boy such a question, especially so casually like he wasn’t more of a family member two minutes ago. The thoughts of someone so close actually liking her (without a damn bond) made her cheeks glower with warmth and color, both because she had been totally unaware of that fact, and because his feelings made her.. flustered, especially since he was Minseok.

“I dunno,” Minseok shrugged, feigning causality, like her. “The line between admiring you and actually developing feelings for you began to blur a few years back. I don’t remember the time it started, I just remember always liking you and thinking you are pretty.”

“Pretty?” Mina gulped, the already red cheeks of hers growing even more heated, blood pooling there like a pond of blood vessels. Her heart too, was pacing crazily, and she was very glad he couldn’t hear her heart pounding so quickly in her chest. That’d have been hard to explain. 

“You prefer beautiful? Amazing? Or something deeper like beauty-embodiment? Outstandingly lavish? Astonishingly amazballs?” Minseok snorted, joking and looking highly amused of himself. He was, for a minute, the normal Minseok, the Minseok who could hold his stance and not squawk out of nervousness or anxiety; the Minseok who she was confident about his own confidence, and Mina was smiling too quickly, happy to have him getting back. However, it didn’t stop her from smacking him in his arm.

“No, you , that’s not what I meant. I mean, it’s really strange hearing something so..” she flushed pink to the roots of her hair. “Sweet.. I think.. from you.”

“I call you with pet names all the time and they’re not sweet?” He blinked. “You only appreciate being called pretty? That’s so shallow and narrow-minded.” Minseok, honest to God, narrowed his eyes at her, and she rolled hers, smacking him on his stomach now. Unfortunately, he was muscled, so she merely touched hard rocks, which hurt nothing else than her fingers. 

“Ow, ow!” She winced, blowing on her steaming fingers, and then quickly took another blow at him when he continued to narrow his eyes, disregarding her pain. She made sure her smack didn’t hurt her fingers this time. “You know what I freaking mean! Usually, you say these stupid pet names to either tease me or anger me. They have no deeper meaning.”

“That’s what you think..” he grumbled in dissatisfaction. 

“So they actually have more meaning than I think?” Mina blinked her eyes in stupefaction, and she understood that she was doing this a lot because of the wondrous words of Minseok’s lips. She saw him blink himself, as if thinking about her question which didn’t even need such long time registering it, so she groaned, hitting his arm again.

“Of course, my sweet girl,” Minseok found his lips curl into a devious grin at her loud groan of irritation. Damn his pet names, Mina thought, damn him too, for being both an but a cute one. His devious grin softened then, and when he looked down at her this time, his eyes were a lot gentler than usual, the same gentleness Mina sometimes would catch in his eyes whenever he looked at her. Her heart began to pace. “You think I’d put up so much time in making them for no reason?”

Mina’s eyes grew wide at his words, at his eyes, at the soulful intensity of his emotions regarding her, and the already pacing heartbeats behind her chest intensified. “Damn, Minseok,” Mina’s volume went low. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know..”

“Well, it isn’t your fault,” Minseok adjusted  himself in the bend when his body began to feel numb, and turned his head toward her direction, so now none of the two could avoid each other’s eyes, his lying on his side like that, feeling only like she should do the same, she lied on her side as well, adjusting herself to be directing him. There was something in the way he looked at her in that moment, eyes feeling so wide and exposed, despite their smaller size; that made flames erupt in her belly, flames which traveled up toward , settling there and taking her breathing abilities away from her. What the was happening to her? Was she also forming a bond with Minseok? But his eyes hadn’t glowed like the two before her, and the feelings which he evoked from her were a lot milder than those Jongdae and Baekhyun. But they were there nevertheless. She gulped. “I acted normally toward you too, I mean the thought wouldn’t have crossed your mind at all.”

“Welllll..” 

“Don’t tell me..” Minseok’s suspicious tone turned into a gasp, and Mina once again sat up on the bed, away from his eyes, his agape jaws, and away from the fire burning within. She quickly tried to explain herself, the words galloping after one another in her anxiety.

“Sometimes I considered the fact you might have feelings for me, little times of course, but I did nonetheless. You’d look at me with soft eyes a few times and I wouldn’t know what to label the emotions in your eyes because, um, you looked at me differently than how the boys would—“

She paused in her hurried mumbles, cheeks on fire, and blinked her eyes at the boy, who was now narrowing his eyes at her in offense, irritated not because of her, but because of his stupid emotions which were so big and of extreme force that he couldn’t even hide them properly.

“But I usually dropped the matter quickly,” She continued to blabber nervously. “I didn’t think about it that much. I mean, I didn’t even believe someone like you could ever like