It was like second instincts in her when she walked inside Suho’s giant corporation building, the exact same building that made her feelings expand inside of her and multiply, until she could feel them squeezing in ; begging to be released, all for the man she knew sat in the tallest level in his office.

But now, the only feeling that was worthy of experiencing was absolute fury, fury for the same person that she felt anything toward but that. It was a little maddening (subconsciously) how vivid and alive this feeling of anger inside of her was. She could reach out her hand for it and touch it. It was that big.

She walked the floors with eyes focused like a hawk and footsteps pounding the floor like a bulk. Every worker – who was used to her presence and knew of her identity – watched her with wide eyes, wondering what happened to the soft, blooming flower that she always was whenever they saw her. The version they were currently seeing was not the version they were used to, and it was understanding; her halfway aware mind provided. Their astonishment was understandable, considering she was never like this around them. she was always so pure-sighted and meek, exactly like a flower.

But not now, now she was ready to prick.

“Uh, Miss, I don’t think boss has time to meet you right now.” The secretary, a big, bulky guy with grey, ashen complexion released in a scared stutter, standing up from his mini office right outside Suho’s, overlooking the gorgeous view of the city by the wall mirror right next to him. He was placing his phone down with wide eyes (someone must’ve alerted him of her presence) his fear contradicting with his massive form; muscles bulging through the smaller suit he was wearing.

“He’ll make some for me.” She said, adamant on settling inside Suho’s office, walking with clear purpose in her eyes that made the poor secretary scared out of his wits. Her feet were settled with poise, knowing where they were heading as she walked right past the flimsy secretary and aimed for the big, wooden doors of Suho’s office. The secretary was quickly following her, his footsteps pattern repetitive and awkward, like he was struggling between walking fast and jogging behind her.

“Um, Miss, I’m sorry, but I don’t think I should let you in. He has a very important meeting going on right now.”

“I’ll barge right inside and drag him by his tie outside just to meet me.” She muttered murderously, her eyes flashing with a glint she was very sure the secretary could see. Even without sparing him a glance, she knew he was gulping, and for a tiny second; she pitied the guy. She wanted to pause and retreat right back to where she came from, right to that restaurant she left Baekhyun standing alone at; hurt and wounded. But she didn’t. She strengthened her resolve, actually cracked her knuckles, and took a deep breather. She considered asking the secretary for a glass of water, but decided otherwise. She needed to come inside with all of her anger, the water would demolish that away.

“Please, Miss,” The secretary was begging at this point; and when she gave him her attention, eyes wide, he shot her his deep, foreign blue eyes with plea. “I’ll lose my job.”

“His tongue will be chopped before he could even utter anything regarding that, Mr. Jeon, don’t worry.”

She caught the flash of surprise – and worry – in Mr. Jeon’s eyes (the eyes she once thought were pretty cool and amazing but now stood no chances against Suho’s honey eyes, Jongdae’s bronze eyes, or Baekhyun’s mocha ones) but she didn’t mind. He could look as astonished as he wanted. She came here for a goal and no glimpses of awe or shock could stop the wakening bull opening his eyes inside of her.

She reached for the knob and quickly opened the room, pushing herself in and halting all kind of commotion that was going inside. Just as Jeon said, he truly was in a meeting – which was a little surprising because according to all these movies and fanfic that she read, the alert of a meeting is always a lie because apparently, CEO don’t really work. They just look hot and heavenly far from everyone’s grabby hands) three or four heads were present around that Mina didn’t really care to focus on, since all of her being was directed toward the single CEO sitting in the lead chair, furrowing his eyebrows and looked completely out of his element.

She didn’t mind. She didn’t even feel the usual sappiness she always felt whenever she saw him; that acute emotion of being melted like chocolate under the laser beams of his eyes, or being swallowed by a refreshing tornado of strawberry or cherry by the sight of his tender lips. She just felt her fury, and her disappointment, and her deadly anxiety to be simply pushed away. She fixed her grip on the knob harshly, and she felt the wood tensely squeeze her flesh. She didn’t mind at all, the prickling sensation of the pain made her feet stable and reminded her that she was still present.

“Miss, were you not informed that I have a meeting?” He said, with his loud, leader-like voice, pretending as if she were a foreign Miss he didn’t know where the hell she came from. Mina resisted a scoff. She was in no way here to be petty, she had a speech to deliver and she’ll not fail that.

“Kim Junmyeon,” she started, voice just as loud as his and just as authoritative. He flinched, for being called so loudly by her or by using his real name; she wasn’t sure. “You either excuse yourself from this meeting right this instance, or I’ll scream, right around these men.”

“Mina, are you—“

“Junmyeon, I’m serious.”

She deadly was, truly, and it showed in her face. There were no traces of the meekness he knew of whenever she was around him on her face, and none of the cutely impish squirming she did to try and avoid his eyes. Her eyes were deeper than how they normally were whenever she looked at him, her body was steady, clearly directional; and it seemed that her heart had changed too. Who was standing in front of him was a woman, a woman whose rights, beliefs and emotions have been deeply violated. He instantly became worried.

He gave the business men who he was discussing a new product with a clear look of dismissal, and they slowly rose and trekked away. Mina simply placed herself inside, away from the door so they could pass her by; and closed the door after them. As soon as they left, she drilled her feet a few centimeters closer from Suho, eyes taking the same kind of fragility they always harbored around him.

“How much do I mean to you?”

“Excuse me?” He wasn’t much of a stutterer but he found himself deeply messy and wondrous at her choice of question.

“How much do I mean to you?” She asked again, with more emphasis on her words and more feelings melting into her voice. Suho felt his own body start to tear into each other, his confusion gnawing more and more into him. What was going on?

“Why are you suddenly asking me this?”

“Do you think I’m childish?” Mina decided to ask a different question, seeing how he wasn’t going to answer her anytime soon. Her feet unconsciously took a step forward, her toes squeezing the bottom of her converse with ferocity. “Do you think that I’m only ever going to be your friend, or only going to be one of the boys? Is that it?”

She looked and sounded upset, and Suho’s blood started to boil, not because she was daring to question him and his genuine heart; but because her emotions were falling out of her sealed walls. His wolf felt responsible to these massive emotions of hers, and his Alpha eyes bled into his brown ones, taking over completely. Mina blinked a little, startled by the sudden appearance of his golden iris, but she gritted her teeth, keeping mum. She was not going to fall for that.

“I have no idea what you are talking about or why you’re so ing upset.” He mumbled, his tone was relaxed despite the anger tensing under it; or the grip of steel he curled his fists into. Mina understood that immediately. Alphas were easily angered anyway. She shook her head away, no, she was not going to let herself be swayed away from her main purpose, no matter how much he made her want to do just that.

“You don’t have the right to talk to me like that, not after what you did!”

“What the heck did I do?”

“Oh; I don’t know,” Mina allowed herself to scoff, throwing her arms around. Suho’s golden smeared more of his eyes, and the color grew darker. “Maybe pretend you didn’t know I’ve been in love with you for the past two years!”

The golden instantly flushed away from his eyes, just like that; and his fists of anger slowly fell apart, fingers easily parting away in both surprise, and helplessness. His whole Alpha strength vapored away from his veins, and his jaws came slack. He didn’t open his mouth, but Mina caught on to the gape he was silently doing. She felt even more angry.

“Yeah, exactly!” She hissed. “Imagine my shock when I realized these two years I’ve been trying to hide my feelings for you, acting like an absolute idiot; you and everyone else were already aware of how I Goddamn feel!”

He remained silent, deathly so, like a body slowly retreating back to its grave, the eyes bulging out of the skull. Mina’s heartbeats started to pound, one beat after the other, bouncing around the caves of her chest like a game of trampoline.

“Two years, Junmyeon!” She showed him two of her fingers, almost smacking her hand on his face. “Two ing years! How do you explain that? How the hell do you ing have the Goddamn heart to do that to me?”

Her hand shook under his eyes, but neither of the two payed them attention, their eyes heavily set on each other, leaning on one another as if to seek refuge from each other. But his eyes were waning and hers were reclusive, thinking, denying him of what he wanted. Not after what he did.

“Were you that scared of freaking rejecting me, huh? Say something!”

The only reason she believed she’d have been rejected if she was told was because she wasn’t told anything to begin with. Why keep her stumbling alone over her own feelings, her own feet; like a child learning to walk for two years without saying anything? Because he wasn’t feeling it too. He wasn’t in as deeply as she hoped he’d all of these days. He was not affected; not by her, and he was scared saying no to her would break her heart, break her soul, her body, her entirely; and maybe she wouldn’t want to be his friend anymore.

She wouldn’t want to be his friend anymore.

He cared more about her being in his life than her having emotions for him.

That was the only logical reason she could think of about his secrecy, that he was scared of her hurt; her pain. But not fearing that was worse. Not saying anything was the worst decision he ever made. Being discrete and recklessly claim her feelings silently was what tore her. He should have rejected her before she could hold on to him so tightly, he should have said something; he should have had the bravery to decline her love and maybe it’d have hurt less, before she fell so deeply. He should have said something to stop her from drowning, he should have lent her a saving hand, not push her head further down.

Now that she drowned, she was alone. She found out she was constantly being pushed further down the waters and honestly? She didn’t expect it from him, not from Junmyeon. He should have given her the chance to save herself.

“Why the heck didn’t you say anything, huh?” She continued to speak, almost on the edge of hysteria. No tears ran down her cheeks, none of her feelings wanted to escape her aside coming out of ; which she knew would serve as a gut punch later on when she’s alone at night. “Maybe so that I wouldn’t end up sleeping the nights hoping my feelings will some day be reciprocated! Maybe I could have moved on from you, you know? Understanding that I stand no ing chance with you. Do you like seeing me like this? So hung up on you and always trying to suppress my feelings so you wouldn’t know and screw our friendship? Is that it, huh? You enjoy seeing me so moved by you?”

She thought he’d stay silent; like how he was holding on to that for the entirety of her rant, but he didn’t this time.

“That’s not why I didn’t say anything. You know I’m not that low.” His voice came out level headed and strong, even in this situation, even when she was expression so many feelings to lend him some of. She hated him for that, but she also loved him so much for it, for being strong and will-headed most of the time, for not dumping his feelings on hers, for not taking their space for his.

“Are you?” She gave him a look of disbelieve. “Because the Junmyeon I know, the Junmyeon I truly fell for wouldn’t have kept me hanging on a string for two Goddamn years. What were you even thinking about achieving with that? Were you scared I’d be hurt because of your rejection? At least I’d find the time to move on, Junmyeon, I’d be sad but then I wouldn’t anymore, because I’d have found on to someone else or would have had time to comprehend we have no chances of ever being together. But keeping me in the dark, alone, is just.. so cruel. It’s so cruel of you.”

Once again, he decided to hold to his silence, keep his lips shut and voice mum. He turned his head to the side with a soft, elegant tick to his head, looking not at her but at the wall, presenting her with his cheek and his sad, sad left eye, the eye that didn’t even resemble the sadness he still felt at all.

But she knew. She knew.

“Are you not going to say anything? Even when I know already? C’mon, Junmyeon, it’s been two years already. I deserve a reason, I deserve an explanation.”

No, he didn’t say anything, and he didn’t look like he was going to anytime soon. He simply raised his eyebrows, giving her a look, and then looking away again.

“Wow,” she released a small, sarcastic laugh, mocking herself and scratching her forehead with both hands just so her shaking hands could find something to do. “What a great one-sided conversation. I applaud you, you jerk.”

She turned around to leave, forcing her jiggling, shaking legs to be strong, pounding her feet on the ground one after the other as if to make a statement of her nonexistent strength or something; but she came back to him right as she passed the wide-eyed secretary. Suho simply stayed put where he was, eyeing her, as if knowing she’d come back or maybe too frozen with shock to move away.

“I didn’t stand a chance, didn’t I?” She told him, not asking, just telling, and something in her stance, in her eyes filled with flames, in her trembling lips; something in all of these gest  was soft, tender still, despite everything. Suho’s heart hurt, immensely, at both her words and her gestures he always, always noticed. “That’s why you didn’t say anything, didn’t you? You were so scared of our precious friendship going into ruins that you decided to stay silent; and everyone knew and understood that, so they helped you out, didn’t they? Wow, what great friends you guys are. You realize this actually destroys your precious, precious friendship with me, right? You realize that it seems like you guys all left me alone to rot with my idiotic self and my idiotic feelings, right?”

She once again was stating something, nor really asking, and Suho knew, so he didn’t say anything; nothing at all. But he did look at her, his eyes holding all of the emotions she needed to hear hidden behind the golden that slowly trickled back to his iris, wishing she could take the seal off of them and just see with herself how he truly felt, but also wishing not. It was so complicated.

She turned around and left again, one more time passing by the door and the shocked secretary; before pausing in her long strides and turning right back, storming toward his desk, pointing a finger to his solid chest, and gritting through her teeth.

“Just so you know, this is me walking away from your life, and it’s not my fault. You decided to keep your silence, and this is me respecting that.”

She decided to leave the building, for good, ignoring her jelly legs and her whimpering heart to return to the boy and embrace the hurt she caused him away, but she didn’t. She came to him twice already and never once did he tell her to stay.

She realized, as she walked all the way home, ignoring the strain in her feet; that she had been addressing him the entire time with Junmyeon, the name the CEO friend of hers who she always protected with her life when they were young, and not Suho, the great Alpha who decided to change for the best. Maybe all along, that was who she fell for from the beginning, Junmyeon the sweet guy, and not Suho, the CEO she could barely recognize.

-

When Mina opened the door of her apartment with Sehun and Kai a little past six, she didn’t expect her two housemates to be present, because it was their time to go out and ‘explore’ the wonders of the female body, or at least Sehun did that; so she was a little taken aback when she was presented with the two boys sprawled on the couch, Sehun’s head on Kai’s thigh, whereas his legs hung over the armrest lazily.

“Oh, hey Mina,” Said Sehun chirpily, lifting his hand that laid over his stomach and waving it lazily. “It’s already six, did your university end so late today?” He joked, snickering and hiding his mouth under his hand. Mina could see Kai rolling his eyes above him, jerking his thigh sideways to juggle Sehun’s head, the latter replied with a glare.

Mina, upon seeing them, felt her previous rage smacking right back at her, hitting her in the middle and lighting up her stomach in very uncomfortable butterflies. She ended up closing the door of the apartment slowly, her brows furrowing deeply and meeting in the middle of her forehead. The two didn’t notice, their attention snatched back by the TV across them.

“Jongin,” Mina found herself calling for the guy almost robotically, her legs walking toward his side of the couch to hover over him like a pest. She didn’t realize what she was doing at this point, all she knew was that her emotions were b and she knew they were going to overflow. “You’re the last person