I am sorry

I am late again

do you know that deeling of going through a slump because you are so busy that a break doesn'f suffice? I have had a break for three days but I was busy worrying about uni and classes and exams and assighments

qojdwlqqlq

I am a second year. I thought it gets better, turns out it gets worse :)))

Anyway: there is a scene with Suho that might make ALL of you confused, but I just want to let you know that it was on purpose. Mina herself is confused; there will be a chapter where everything is explained.

It's just, werewolves react to bonds, do you think she doesn't too? kekke** hintttttt  

Mina, who couldn’t for the love of her life bear the heat, groaned softly and turned around, kicking Chanyeol’s limb-y, grabby arms away from her body, making the boy groan right back at her, crawling away from her himself. However, even then, the heat didn’t decrease at all, and it was because of the other body on her back.

She turned back right again, and faced Baekhyun’s body. His eyes were closed and his bangs fell over them softly, obscuring his long eyelashes. His supple, pinkish lips were opened apart a little and his chest fell up and down soothingly, oozing air out of the little hole his mouth created. He was sleeping like a little, angelic child, which didn’t suit the leather jacket wrapped around his body at all.

He too, was oozing heat, and even though they had slept with spaces apart (because no sane, normal human could take their intense heat when they weren’t suppressing it) she could still feel her back growing damp, along with her hair and her hands. It was not a pretty - or comfortable - sight to sweat while sleeping, not at all.

She smacked her lips, moisturizing them in this infinite heat, and slowly sat herself down, muffling her groans at her stretching muscles. One of her legs flew sideways while she was stretching and smacked Baekhyun’s thighs, making him groan and slowly open his eyes to glare at her. She, with heartbeats increasing, shushed him before he could say anything and leaned towards him, closing his eyes with her fingers.

“Go back to sleep.” She whispered, and thankfully, he didn’t reopen his eyes, quickly falling back asleep in spite of the curl of annoyance between his eyebrows.

It wasn’t in their plans to sleep over in Suho’s house. But after rounds of infinite food, infinite booze and infinite rounds of cardboard games; time was lost and they didn’t realize it was late until it was one after midnight. Suho told them to sleepover and prepare to wake up early for school. Even though he has tons of rooms in his house, everyone liked to gather around in his living room, spread some sheets and blankets, and sleep together.

Of course, they don’t have anything to say against each other’s own heat. But Mina wasn’t like them.

She huffed silently and dragged her legs away, toward the kitchen where she was hoping to find some water to quench her thirst quickly so she could fall back asleep. She was met with Suho, however, sitting in one of the chairs in the mini dining room with his laptop in front of him.

“Suho.” She dumbly called, as if to make sure the boy she was seeing was actually Suho, who of course didn’t join them in the living room and opted to sleep in his own room. He always chooses not to join the fun.

Suho, hearing her, lifted his head from the burning screen of his laptop and raised his eyebrows at the disheveled girl, dry drool hanging on the corner of her lips. “Why are you awake, Kitten? You should go back to sleep.” It was funny how similar to her words for Baekhyun his own words were.

“I’m dehydrated,” she said, unconsciously lifting her fingers and wiping the corner of her lips incase there was any drool traces there. God knows how many times she drooled in her sleep. She didn’t want such embarrassment in front of her crush.

“The heat in your bodies is no joke.” She attempted a joke, but he didn’t say anything, quickly swiveling around and heading toward the counters, searching for a glass in the many cabins around and quickly pouring herself a cold water from the refrigerator. Her cheeks were deep red for no reason.

“And you made me lie down between Chanyeol and Baekhyun,” she completed, smiling to herself. “Like they’re not such skinship monsters. I had to fight Chanyeol off of me.”

Not exactly fight him off, but she did kick him away from her. Baekhyun wasn’t clinging to her either but it didn’t mean he doesn’t usually do it. They were also immensely hot so they might as well have hugged her in their sleep with how hot and bothered she currently was.

She heard a responsive snort and she immediately turned around to face him, finding him smiling to himself and to his laptop. A similar smile adorned her face as well.

“Oh, is it funny? I’m glad its of amusement to you.”

“It’s not funny,” he told her, lifting his head from his laptop screen and paying her attention, one of his sleek eyebrows raised up challengingly. “You are.”

She didn’t reply, recognizing the challenge to do so in his eyes, but she ended up blushing like she was secretly the sister of a tomato or something. She looked away, but Suho had already caught it; and found himself sneakily saying:

“You blush at the easiest of things, don’t you?”

“Right, I do.” She didn’t, but what was she going to say? No, Suho, I don’t blush at everything, just you because I can’t stabilize my heart around you and my blood just floods my cheeks. Yeah, right. As if she has enough guts to tell him that.

“Come, sit here for a second.” He ordered, all of a sudden, and she gulped.

She walked towards him with meek, shy footsteps that any of the boys would have mocked her for, and dragged the chair beside him open slowly, making sure not to create loud friction between its legs and the floor so she wouldn’t wake the boys up. She sat down, putting down her empty glass of water on the table beside his laptop, and watched him. For a second, he didn’t present her with the type of unwavering attention she was craving; eyes set on his laptop screen. Then, he pressed something on his laptop (probably enter) and leaned backward, against his chair, and watched her back. His eyes were intense and brown, a spark of bronze and golden schemes of color slowly fusing through the browns and blacks of his iris. It was a beautiful sight. He was a beautiful sight. Everything about him was a beautiful sight.

Her heart paced within her and he sat up, seemingly aware of the sound she was making by her organs, but that couldn’t be. Only Jongdae could,  couldn’t he? Suho leaned forward toward her once he was sitting rigid in his place, and she tried to lean back, away from him, unable to take the intensity burning flames through his eyes for her.

“You and Jongdae, you guys for real?”

Well, that was a surprising question. She looked at him oddly, talking in a small volume just like him.

“Why would we lie?”

He narrowed his eyes, not particularly in suspicion, but in wonder. His eyes were deep and resembling an abyss of darkness and gold mine, but he also had their beauty, which Mina tried to think of something else but; for she didn’t want to be distracted.

“I’m not asking about your story, sweetheart,” He murmured tenderly, melting her sweltering heart. “I’m talking about your feelings. What you two felt for each other, what Jongdae said he felt. Was it real? Did it feel real? How do you know it is real?”

Mina’s head spun, not because his questions were repetitive and a bit intrusive (he was the Alpha. He was the only one who dared to be intrusive) but because those exact same feelings she felt with Jongdae came spiraling down her not-so-calm heart, and she was remembering exactly what she felt when Jongdae kissed had her, of when he is in her presence, when Jongdae is around.

She cleared , her neck suddenly feeling warm. “I admit, it is surprising and hard to believe. Sometimes, I find it heart to believe too—“

“Mina,” Suho interrupted, his eyes ablaze. His lips were curled downward when she turned to see him; and she realized he had used his Alpha voice with her. dried up. “That’s not what I’m asking you. Yes or no, is it real? What’s between you?”

“Um. Well, it depends on your definition of what true feelings are.”

“Is it deep?” Suho decided to ask a different question, seeing that she had trouble understanding the exact meaning he was chasing after. “What you feel for him? Is it influenced by your friendship, as in, do you think you wouldn’t have felt what you have felt for each other if you haven’t been friends long before it? Is it deep?”

Honestly, Mina didn’t understand what Suho was looking for in these questions, what kind of answers he wanted her to deliver. He was skimming over personal territories which she was willing to tell him of happily, considering she trusted him with all of them. But she couldn’t understand the eager, somewhat childish emotions that flared up all around his pupils and iris, delicately surrounding his brown color.

“It is deep,” She said, or tried to say, without trembling; intertwining her nervous fingers together. Suho took notice of the gesture but didn’t say anything. “And a lot more illogical than what I thought.. this feeling.. should be. I don’t understand what I feel around him and honestly, I don’t think he understands too. He feels something, he acts upon it. That’s it. He hadn’t been like me. I ran away from my feelings, thinking I’d ruin what we have because of them, because they are reclusive, reckless, and large. You know what happens when you have giant emotions inside of you for someone you’re supposed to love gently?” She paused, genuinely waiting to see if he could understand what she was trying to say. His eyes were more golden than before and something inside her pacing heart told her he knew exactly what she was talking about. “It gets dangerous. Your relationship together becomes dangerous, and that is not something I’m brave enough to face head on, you know? So I kinda ran away.”

She chuckled a little, a chuckle of embarrassment and remembrance of her silly actions. Running away from her best friend? The only one who should understand her and be there for her? Well, she didn’t understand back then, and she knew deep down he didn’t too, which made it the more terrifying. Running away was the only logical reason back then. By running, the feelings would wane and disappear, and she’d no longer have to face them. That was what she thought, at least. It was stupid of her to claim they’d disappear, even though one could understand where she was coming from. Large emotions such as what she felt were not easy to swallow and make fade away.

She was glad Jongdae was brave for the both of them, brave to chace after her instead of running away too, like what she did.

She heard Suho murmur something back but she didn’t have their super hearing, so she leaned forward – eagerly – and blinked her eyes cluelessly.

“What was that?”

Suho stared back, without shame, and Mina clearly saw the freckles of bronze, brown, and deep golden flicker on and out like blotches of blood on skin. “I run away from my feelings too.”

Mina giggled like a dork, amused by the fact the words which she said were coming from great Suho’s mouth. They didn’t suit him at all. Big, scary male werewolf running away from his feelings too. The mental image was too good to pass up.

She stood up, suppressing a yawn, and took her glass of water to pour another amount. She heard Suho’s footsteps paddle behind her, and knew he had stood up as well, in spite of his soft pattern (unlike her messy one because, well, werewolves and their God damn agility.)

“Water, prince Suho?” She offered him her glass, turning around to meet his silk-like eyes. He accepted the glass, only so he could be closer to her; which he did become, by taking a few steps forward until he could hear her slow and relaxed breathing turning rapid, irregular, just the way he always liked when it came to her.

“Come closer.” He said, or commanded, really. Placing the glass of water right on the mahogany desk of the kitchen beside her (which he had to do by leaning over her in a totally cliché way, but the sound of her breathing jumping around because of his proximity was something he learned to enjoy hearing). Of course she didn’t come closer. She couldn’t. She’d probably combust if she did, and she knew that, so she didn’t try. Suho, who seemed aware of the inner struggle she was facing, sighed aloud, took the remaining steps forward and wrapped his pretty large fingers around .

What.

He didn’t do anything like how her erted head provided, but he didn’t not do anything either. He brought her upwards - because she was short - by , and she tiptoed to match his height (or closer to his height. She was tiny and no amount of tiptoeing could make her reach the boys. Struggles of a 158cm person) he swerved his head and dipped his face through her neck.

Mina’s heart, like how it usually reacted to the boy, started to race up, not like it had been quiet to begin with. It sped and sped till she could feel it bouncing through , suffocating her. Her eyes became wide by themselves, even though she always found it exaggerating whenever people did so in movies. She thought, for a teeny, tiny second, that he’d kiss her, which she was begging to be done, but he didn’t. He simply nuzzled her neck, letting part of his animal instincts take over, the part that ached to touch her and smother her scent with his.

That part in which he kept running from.

He heard her breaking breath trying to stabilize, and heard more than that; but didn’t mind, for he could smell her, a scent of pure musk and tender roses melted into honey. It was an overwhelmingly sweet smell, but it was hers, and everything about her was overwhelming to both him and his wolf. His eyes, Suho could feel even though he was closing them, were prickling with heat, which meant they were glowing at their golden peak, enhancing his already enhanced senses.

She smelled a little like Jongdae then.

Suho knew the scent of Jongdae on her was soft because she was both untouched by the neck and unmarked by the boy, but he